Publication date: November, 1991
Story and art: Matt Howarth
“Turtle Dreams”
Summary:
Having just foiled an invasion of the Party-Headed
Platypus People of Proxima Five, Leonardo is bushed. He collapses in the living room of the sewer lair and goes to
sleep.
In his dream, Leo envisions himself as the big man on the
high school campus, adored by girls and worshipped by all. In algebra class, though, he finds his dream
getting really boring. Leo tries to
spice things up with some surfing, but the teacher (Mr. Math) promptly brings
him back to “reality”. Mr. Math then
asks Leo to solve the equation on the board, but Leo can’t do it. The teacher transforms into a monster
and attacks the class. Mr. Math attempts
to eat a girl named Melissa, but she happens to be Leonardo’s crush. Leo takes his sword and slays Mr. Math, much
to the swooning of his classmates. Leo
chills out in his seat, at least until the substitute arrives: A t-rex named Miss
Gnarl who threatens to eat anyone who fails her pop quiz.
Leo slumbers on, finding that some dreams are impossible
to control.
Raph, meanwhile, has overdosed on comic books and conked
out.
In his dream, Raph is on an alien planet looking for
evildoers to punish. He finds the two
worst evildoers of them all just standing around: Ron and Russ Post. Raph accosts them and Russ bails, though Ron
is happy to give Raph a challenge. Using
his reality-warping powers, Ron produces guns out of thin air, turns his fists
into concrete and takes all of Raph’s sai stabs to no ill-effect. Raph realizes that Ron is a worthy opponent
who cannot be beaten and is thus giving him the fight of his life.
Raph sleeps with a huge grin on his face, hoping his
dream will last forever.
Don has just eaten an entire bag of cheese cookies and
passed out on the couch.
In his dream, Don recalls how the Government captured
him, his brothers and Splinter and locked them in a secret facility. Their file was then sold to a Hollywood
producer who created a cartoon about them: "Mutant Ninja Teenage Turtles". It became a smash hit and the Turtles became
icons. Eventually, budget cuts caused
the Turtles and Splinter to be released, but they found that they could not adapt to
life now that they’d become celebrities.
Every time they try to thwart a crime, they’re mobbed by fans. Eventually, they become couch potatoes and
grow morbidly obese.
Don wakes up from his nightmare in a cold sweat.
Splinter meditates and uses his dream to further his
enlightenment.
In his dream, Splinter sits at a fancy restaurant with
three guests: Akira Kagemusha (a legendary Japanese shadow warrior), Albert
Einstein and Alfred Hitchcock. Together,
the quartet discuss the works of Edmund Husserl, Jean Paul Sartre and Friedrich
Nietzsche.
Splinter continues his meditation, growing wiser all the
while.
Mike, particularly bushed after thwarting the Platypus
invasion, dozes off while listening to rock music.
In his dream, Mike is a musician performing a rock
concert to an adoring crowd. Suddenly,
the evil Dr. Vox and his Fogeymen attack, determined to destroy all sinful rock
‘n roll music. Mike defeats the
Fogeymen, but finds that he cannot touch Dr. Vox, as Vox has a forcefield made
of public opinion protecting him. Vox
claims that so long as the majority rule is on his side, no one can touch him. The crowd
disagrees and rushes to voting booths.
Casting their votes FOR the continued existence of rock ‘n roll, Dr. Vox
finds himself suddenly powerless and unable to continue fighting Mike.
Mike awakens suddenly from his dream, confused, but
hoping he can fall back asleep and finish his concert.
Turtle Tips:
*Having been published during the TMNT Vol. 1 “guest
era”, this issue is not part of the Mirage TMNT continuity “proper”.
*Ron Post and Russ Post, who appear in Raph’s dream, were
the stars of Howarth’s creator-owned comic book series, Those Annoying Post
Bros.
*There was no such person as “Akira Kagemusha”. The name is a play on the film “Kagemusha”
which was directed by Akira Kurosawa.
*Howarth would go on to produce one more TMNT issue, TMNT Special: The Haunted Pizza.
*This issue should not be confused with another story
titled “Turtle Dreams” which appeared in Turtle Soup (Vol. 1) #1.
*This issue also contained a 1-page bonus comic by
Howarth featuring Ron Post advertising Howarth’s various self-publication
exploits.
Review:
If you didn’t like “the Turtles have weird dreams one
after the other” plot device this time around, they’ll take another stab at it with TMNT
(Vol. 2) #1.
Anyway, Matt Howarth’s “Turtle Dreams” is an interesting
experiment and one of the few “surreal” installments of the Mirage guest era I
felt used that effect to its benefit. Howarth
takes us into the heads of each character and we get to see their true heart’s
desires or their deepest fears as they might perceive them.
I think Leo’s segment was my favorite overall, as it showed a
very unique side of Leo not often explored.
As the leader of the team, he has to be the milquetoast spoilsport that
can never have any fun. Here, in his
imagination, we see that Leo dreams of popularity, getting the girl and making
friends as a “normal” teenager. I
thought that bit of introspection on Howarth’s part was GREAT and this is one
of my favorite Leonardo stories, regardless of whether it “counts” or not. In the real world, Leo’s position as
commander and all the crushing responsibilities that come with it prevents him
from relaxing or maybe even following his inner ambitions. But in his dreams he’s free to be what he
never can be and that’s “big man on campus”, loved and appreciated by all.
And kudos on Howarth for remembering that the Turtles are
teenagers. Even Eastman and Laird seemed
to forget that part of the title after a couple issues.
The other segments don’t all fair as well as Leo’s, I’m
afraid.
Raph never struck me as being a comic book nut; that’s
always been more of Mikey’s thing.
Still, I enjoyed his reaction to his dream; fighting a never-ending
battle against an unbeatable opponent brings him veritable ecstasy. That’s Raph all over.
The problem with his segment is that it’s one big
advertisement for Howarth’s “Those Annoying Post Bros” comic and he sure isn’t
subtle about it. All during the battle
Raph is fawning over how awesome and amazing Ron Post is; the greatest warrior
he has ever fought and no one can compare.
I’ve never read Howarth’s Post Bros comic, but after reading this issue
I refuse to do so out of protest.
Don’s nightmare is a great bait ‘n switch on his inner
fears. It starts out with him and his
brothers getting captured and experimented on by the Government, big shock, but
then it quickly turns into a meta-textual look at the TMNT franchise going
mainstream with a kid-friendly cartoon.
Suddenly, Don’s greatest fear is that he can no longer be a legitimate
crime fighter and will wind up squandering his future in obscurity, growing
fat. It really pulls the rug out from
under you as you read it and it’s easily my second favorite segment in this
issue behind Leo’s.
Splinter dreams about intellectual discussions with dead
eggheads. Big whoop.
Lastly is Mike’s, which I have to confess was a bit of a
dud. It turns into a preachy story about
how sinister public officials can be destroyed if everyone does their part to “rock
the vote”. Yeah. That’s right.
“Rock the vote”.
Does MTV even run that corny ad campaign, anymore?
It’s a tongue-in-cheek public service announcement, for
sure, as Mr. Vox is a goofy villain that feels like he should be in an animated
Captain Crunch commercial, trying to turn your cereal soggy. Still, the whole story revolves around
delivering a trite message and it’s not a solid note to end the issue on.
Well, that’s not true.
The issue ACTUALLY ends on a one page comic where Ron Post tells
everyone how they can order comics from Howarth himself for cover price plus
shipping and handling. If Howarth is
anything, he’s a shameless self-promoter.
But the shameless self-promotion and cheesy “rock the
vote” message aside, “Turtle Dreams” is surprisingly deep. Not all the segments are winners, but when
Howarth hits a chord, he hits it hard.
Leo’s fantasy really makes you think twice about the character and
almost feel sorry for him; he can NEVER be the person he truly wants to be and
can only live that life out in his dreams.
Don’s, meanwhile, is some great commentary that perhaps works better on
a Fourth Wall level, but can still be applied to the character
in-universe. The other segments aren’t
as strong, but Howarth’s simplified yet
energetic art makes them fun to read, regardless.
So yeah. “Turtle
Dreams” was kind of the surprise hit of the Vol. 1 guest era for me. Weird.
Grade: B (as in, “But for all my insulting the Post Bros
comic, apparently it ran for a pretty long time across three or four different
publishers”.)
