TMNT Entity

TMNT Adventures Special #3

2012-01-28T16:47:00.001-08:00

Publication date: Winter, 1992
Cover: Michael Gaydos

Contents:

*"The Night of Monsterex"
*"Monsters are the Rage!"

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, I would place "The Night of Monsterex" between TMNT Adventures #4 and TMNT Adventures #5. I would place "Monsters are the Rage!" between TMNT Adventures #22 and TMNT Adventures #23.

TMNT Adventures Special #2

2012-01-28T16:19:00.000-08:00

Publication date: Fall, 1992
Cover: Peter Laird, Ryan Brown

Contents:

*“The Wrath of the Fire God”
*“The Ghost of 13 Mile Island!”

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, I would place these stories in-between TMNT Adventures #27 and TMNT Adventures #28.

Infestation 2 #1

2012-01-26T08:29:00.001-08:00

Publication date: January 25, 2012

Written by: Duane Swierczynsky
Art by: David Messina, Valerio Schiti
Inks by: Gaetano Carlucci, Federica Manfredi
Colors by: ScarletGothica
Letters by: Robbie Robbins, Shawn Lee
Edits: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

"Good evening, Quahog, I'm Tom Tucker. Now, for Ollie Williams and his summary of IDW's Infestation 2 #1. Ollie?"

"H.P. LOVECRAFT WROTE SOME BOOKS!"

"And?"

"ALL THEM MONSTERS WERE REAL!"

"So what happened next?"

"HE DIED!"

"Then what?"

"ELDER ONES INVADED DIMENSIONS!"

"Any interesting characters exclusive to this comic we should know about?"

"NO!"

"Thank you, Ollie. And now for sports..."

Turtle Tips:

*The TMNT's part of this story will begin in Infestation 2: TMNT #1.

*Covert Vampiric Operations agents Britt, Cross and Bools previously appeared in Infestation #2 (which this event is a continuation of).

*Infestation 2 also crossed over into IDW's other publications, "Transformers", "G.I. Joe", "Dungeons & Dragons", "Danger Girl" and "30 Days of Night".

Review:

I'm not even that much of a "Family Guy" fan anymore, I just thought it would be fun to do this.

Anyway, here is the extent of the TMNT's involvement in this issue:

One of the nice things about IDW's "Infestation" events is that you don't HAVE to buy the bookending mini or the other crossovers if you don't want to; you can just grab the TMNT chapters and get a complete story. All jesting aside: IDW, I really, really appreciate that. Marvel and DC could learn a lot from you guys.

Grade: N/A

TMNT (IDW) #6

2012-01-25T18:34:00.001-08:00

Publication date: January 25, 2012

Story: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Art: Dan Duncan
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

On the dark rooftops of New York, the Turtles secretly chase after a pair of ninja who seem to be pursuing something. As Leo suffers Don’s intellectual ego, they round a corner into an alley and find what the ninja are after: a man performing parkour and trying to escape them. They follow the Frenchman to the nearest roof, where he stops to make a stand against the ninja. Raph insists they help, but Leo orders him to stand down. The Frenchman puts up a fight, but is stabbed to death by the two ninja. Raph rushes onto the scene as the ninja vanish in a cloud of smoke. As he lay dying, the Frenchman’s final words are “War is coming”.

At Stockgen, Baxter Stockman is not pleased with Old Hob’s progress, warning him that he’s one strike away from being “out”. Hob defends his position, claiming that he’d need an army to take down the four Turtles. Stockman thinks he may be able to facilitate such a request.

At Casey’s house, Mr. Jones drunkenly laughs at his son’s plans on getting a part-time job. Casey brushes his words off, looking at the note he took from the campus bulletin board and deciding to go through with it.

Down in the sewer lair, the Turtles relay what happened to Splinter. Splinter is certain that the ninja whom they saw were members of the Foot Clan; their ancient foes from a previous life. Don is less inclined to buy into reincarnation and destiny, as the concepts don’t gel with his more scientific and pragmatic personality. Splinter understands Don’s apprehension, but assures him of the facts. The last thing he remembered as a human was a sword at his neck. When he awoke, he was in a laboratory being prodded by needles. When he saw the four turtles in a glass case, he knew that they were his lost sons and his prayers had been answers. Splinter could also tell that the scientists in the lab were planning something sinister; a form of military domination. He felt there was hope when a good-hearted young woman entered into their lives, but then the Foot Ninja struck again and you know the rest of the story.

At the New York Tech campus dorms, Casey approaches the room on the bulletin advertisement. He’s introduced to April, who offers to give him tutoring in exchange for self defense lessons.

Back at Stockgen, Baxter takes Hob to a vault and ushers him inside. He then closes the door behind him, intent on introducing the mutant cat to his new ‘army’. Baxter then unleashes a horde of tiny, toothy robots designed for clearing minefields: Minefield Ordnance Unarming System Enhanced Robots. Or, “Mousers” for short.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Microseries: Michelangelo #2.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by Dan Duncan, Cover B by Kevin Eastman and Ronda Pattison, and Cover RI by Rob Guillory.

Review:

IDW’s TMNT series really does feel like one of Marvel's “Ultimate” reboots and plays to the same sense of pacing, cliffhangers and "startling" reveals. We’re getting all the classic characters and concepts reintroduced to us at a slower pace, which has been exciting, but it’s also all rather telegraphed. For instance the ninja were introduced as far back as issue #2 but an effort seemed to be made not to identify them as Foot Soldiers until issue #6… where they’re identified as Foot Soldiers rather unceremoniously. It wasn’t really important and every half-cognizant reader had already figured that out long ago, so my question is, why keep it under wraps in the first place?

Likewise, introducing Baxter Stockman means inevitably introducing the Mousers. I liked the new concept behind their original function (minesweepers instead of rat-catchers), but again, it’s not really much of a cliffhanger for your climactic splash page when readers knew it was going to be the Mousers all along. A lot of comics these days do this and I’m not sure who they’re trying to surprise. The last issue of IDW’s debut "Transformers" miniseries, “Infiltration”, ended with the shocking splash page of Optimus Prime stepping onto the scene. Was that supposed to be a surprise? What would have really been surprising is if it hadn’t been Optimus.

Likewise, guys such as Brian Michael Bendis and Geoff Johns do this sort of thing as a matter of routine. You’ll read an issue of Geoff Johns’s run on DC’s "The Flash" where the whole conflict of the story is the weather going crazy, and so the big shock-and-awe final splash page is, guess what, the Weather Wizard! And don’t even get me started on Bendis ending, what was it, Ultimate Spider-Man #5 with the final page reveal that, yes indeed, Spider-Man IS in this book titled “Ultimate Spider-Man!”

You can pick your jaw up off the floor, now.

I’m sounding a bit grim, I’ll admit; it’s just that it’s become something of a cliche' used in excess these days and I’m kind of wistful for the era when the cliffhanger was used to surprise the audience, rather than show them what they’ve been predicting since they first opened the book up.

Alright, rant over; I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Anyhow, one of the nicer things about this issue that we hadn’t been getting in the preceding installments of the ongoing or the Microseries has been extended interactions between the four Turtles. They’ve very quickly fallen into their recognized relationships, though some new chinks in the armor have been added that I find fascinating. Leo and Don going at it is a brand new dynamic and one I really want to see explored in greater detail. Donatello is the smartest, so it’s only natural for him to have an ego and to challenge authority (“I’m the smartest, so why should I listen to you?”). It’s a nice break from the endless Raph as Wolverine, Leo as Cyclops thing we’ve gotten for decades.

I’m curious as to what the Savante Ninja (as he’s called in the notes section of this issue) was foreshadowing with his cryptic dialogue and precisely what faction he even belongs to. Are we going to be getting into a “City at War” scenario this early in the game? The idea of other ninja organizations out there besides the Foot intrigues me.

Artist Dan Duncan seems to be getting by without Kevin Eastman’s layouts just fine, too. I had a problem with the big “parkour” reveal on the top of page 4; the Savante Ninja doesn’t really look like he’s touching the wall or even hitting it at the same angle it’s extending. But other than that, this was a competently penciled story. The new Mousers seem a bit “over-designed”, but I’m mostly okay with them. I do like that there appears to be variety in their models.

Ronda Pattison, who has been doing a great job on colors so far, needs to adjust some of her palette choices for shading, I think. she appears to use a very bluish shade of purple/lavender for Don in a few panels (page 9 and page 14) to account for lighting/shadow. This has the effect of looking too blue and making him appear to be miscolored as Leo. Then there's a scene where Leo has a red bandana and Raph has a blue one... no excuse for that, really.

All in all, this is another set-up issue, and while I sounded like I was raining hate down on it at the beginning of my review, that was more a matter of getting something off my chest regarding an overused storytelling trope; I don't mean to sound like I'm picking on Waltz exclusively. This issue has what a lot of folks have been dying for since the series began: Foot Soldiers, the Turtles playing off one another, and lots of villains. There are fresh dynamics between established characters and some nice little references snuck in, such as Mike spouting his lesser-known catchphrase from the Fred Wolf cartoon, "Holy guacamole" (beats "mondo tubuloso", at least).

Definitely a good issue, despite the confused bandana coloring and a cliche' splash page at the end.

Grade: B- (as in, “But I won’t be satisfied until Stockman climbs inside a hovercraft that launches tiny Mousers at the Turtles and blinks red when you hit it enough times”.)

The Last Sea-Serpent

2012-01-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #1
Publication date: Summer, 1992

Written by: Steve Sullivan
Art by: Bill Wray
Colored by: Barry Grossman
Lettered by: Willie Schubert
Edited by: Dean Clarrain
Managing editor: Victor Gorelick

“The Last Sea-Serpent”

Summary:

On Shelton Slujj’s yacht, the Turtles are living it up. Although April and Splinter couldn’t make it, they were happy to accept Slujj’s offer of gratitude for saving his daughter, Emelia’s life: a cruise straight to Hawaii! Suddenly, the yacht is sunk by a rampaging sea serpent and the Turtles scramble to save Slujj and Emelia. Piling into the inflatable life raft, their luck gets even worse as the seas grow violent and stormy.

A Japanese vessel, the Shiumi's Justice, appears through the storm and the deck hand, Kai Nezumi, welcomes the Turtles aboard. Once onboard, however, they are berated by Captain Agamatta, who blames them for the loss of his prey: Umihaha, the sea mother. Agamatta explains that many years ago, he was captain of the Shiumi, a Japanese whaling vessel. One day, they were attacked by Umihaha and Agamatta’s nephew, Gisei, was killed. Agamatta returned to Japan and used his family fortune to replace his lost limbs with bionic prosthetics and construct a self-automated, technologically advanced ship: the Shiumi’s Justice. Agamatta then dedicated his life to gaining vengeance on Umihaha, with only his deck hand, Kai, to keep him company.

Agamatta locks the Turtles, Slujj and Emelia up in his quarters, promising to drop them off at the next port only after he kills Umihaha. After several fruitless hours of struggle, the Turtles cannot break out of their cell. They won’t have to, though, as Kai appears and releases them. Kai explains that he’s not saving them from the Captain, but wants them to save the Captain from himself. As it turns out, Agamatta’s entire quest for vengeance is his way of running away from the responsibility of Gisei’s death.

As the whole story goes, Agamatta insisted on letting Gisei join his whaling crew, even though the boy was too young to legally join. When Agamatta spotted a school of sea serpents, he and Gisei immediately tried to catch one to bring back to Japan and make themselves rich. They managed to harpoon and kill one of the serpents, angering their mother, Umihaha. Umihaha then destroyed the ship and you know the rest.

Upset that the Japanese still engage in whaling even though the rest of the civilized world has made it illegal, the Turtles agree to subdue Agamatta and bring him home, where he can get help. Agamatta doesn’t want help, though, and unleashes his ship’s mechanical defenses to detain them. The Turtles destroy the security controls, shutting down the robotic tentacles, then head for the bridge. Before they can make it, Umihaha appears and sinks the Shiumi’s Justice.

The Turtles are thrown from the ship and become separated from their human friends. Luckily, one of Umihaha’s offspring finds them and, being friendly, helps them stay afloat. They meet up with Umihaha and use their telepathic rapport with Splinter to speak with the sea serpent. Knowing that they are friendly, she takes them back to the remains of the Shiumi’s Justice and offers a tow to port. On the ship, Slujj, Emelia and Kai have weathered the danger intact, though Agamatta has been gravely injured and left unconscious.

Arriving in Kilaoto, Hawaii, Kai helps his Captain into an ambulance, promising to try and cure him of his thirst for vengeance. With their vacation back on track, the Turtles ask where the nearest pizza parlor is.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “If a Tree Falls…”

*Bill Wray draws Slujj and Emelia with entirely different character models than in their previous appearance.

*“Umihaha” (海母) does indeed translate to “sea mother”.

*The Turtles used their telepathic bond with Splinter before, in TMNT Adventures #17.

Review:

Well, that was better than the first story in this Special. Still rife with environmental undertones, but at least this one had some basis in reality (the Japanese do consider themselves exempt from international whaling laws and continue killing endangered species to this day). Unlike “If a Tree Falls…”, however, the lesson was wrapped up much better in the story and we got a lot of action and adventure to move things along. The agenda was still transparent, but at least the story was fun.

“The Last Sea-Serpent” is just another “Moby Dick” parody and those are practically a dime a dozen. I think they could have developed Captain Agamatta further in the ongoing series as a decent villain, but TMNT Adventures was reluctant to acknowledge very many characters and stories exclusive to the seasonal Specials. At the very least, Murk Mariner could have been Captain Agamatta and no harm would have come to that later story. And he’s still a better villain than Captain Mossback.

Bill Wray’s art is this weird middle-ground between “silly” and “not too silly”. Emelia is absolutely ridiculous-looking and the Turtles are constantly making bizarre faces and poses, like their bodies are formed of gelatinous goop. At the same time, though, there’s a lot of heavy inking, creating a dark atmosphere and the action sequences are rendered in a much less jovial fashion. The style is sort of all over the place, but at least it gives the story its own personality.

Altogether, this is a pretty average story and it does little to balance out how awful the preceding adventure was. TMNT Adventures Special #1 was not a particularly good publication, being too preoccupied with soap-boxing some environmental agendas than making, well, a fun comic kids would enjoy.

Grade: C- (as in, “Could Slujj’s sudden lack of hair be related to radiation exposure from the previous story, or just uncommunicative artists?”)

If a Tree Falls...

2012-01-21T13:46:00.000-08:00

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #1
Publication date: Summer, 1992

Script: Steve Sullivan
Art: Brian Thomas
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Dean Clarrain
Managing edits: V. Gorelick

“If a Tree Falls…”

Summary:

In a national forest somewhere in the pacific northwest, the Turtles, Splinter and April wake up to a beautiful new morning. Their camping trip is going well until they notice a horde of robots clear-cutting the forest. Contrary to Splinter’s orders to observe the situation and not act rashly, the Turtles leap into action, destroying the robots. They are quickly approached by Sheldon Slujj, a billionaire philanthropist and owner of the Slujj-bots. Along with him are his young daughter, Emelia, and his assistant, Percy Brice.

Slujj explains that he owns the land next to the national forest (where they’re trespassing) and even has a permit from the government to develop the area. He plans on building a toxic waste storage facility that concentrates the waste so it takes up less space before burying it in an uninhabited environment. April apologizes for the Turtles’ rash actions and offers to help make amends. Slujj takes them back to his construction site and employs the Turtles as guards, hoping they’ll catch a saboteur that’s been making trouble for his crew.

That night, the Turtles split up and patrol the site. Raph immediately catches the saboteur, whom April and Splinter recognize as Victor Fosse, a famous environmentalist who went missing in the pacific northwest a year ago. Fosse explains that by concentrating the toxic waste for disposal, Slujj has only succeeded in making it deadlier. Even worse, he has been storing it in a ravine until the disposal site could be completed and his clumsy robots have broken several of the waste containers. The Turtles aren’t sure why they should believe him, but Fosse has convincing evidence: A Sasquatch!

Apparently, a year ago, Fosse was hiking in these mountains when he broke his leg and nearly died. A tribe of Sasquatch found him nursed him back to health and he has been living amongst them ever since. Slujj’s toxic waste has been poisoning the Sasquatch and his clear-cutting has been destroying certain herbs they need to survive. Suddenly, Slujj shows up with his Slujj-bots and they seize Fosse. A fight breaks out, as the Turtles fight the Slujj-bots and the Sasquatch fights everybody. In the chaos, Emelia wanders away into the poisoned ravine and collapses.

With the fighting defused, April convinces Slujj and Fosse to talk it out. Slujj claims that his canisters in the ravine are perfectly safe, but when he goes to prove it to Fosse, he finds Emelia clinging to life. Emelia has only moments left to live, so Fosse sends for more Sasquatch, who return with the herbs necessary to counter the toxic poisoning. Emelia survives and Slujj vows to spend money building a facility that breaks down toxic waste into chemical components, rather than hide it underground. With the promise that he’ll also end his clear-cutting, the Sasquatch wander back into the woods.

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, I would place this story after TMNT Adventures #26. The story continues in “The Last Sea Serpent”.

Review:

Once, just ONCE I would LOVE to read a TMNT Adventures story where one of the wealthy industrialists is actually disposing of toxic waste, or cutting down trees, or developing land, or whatever RESPONSIBLY and honestly. But much like the universe of “Captain Planet”, those sorts of people simply do not exist. Every billionaire in TMNT Adventures with a business plan that affects the environment is either flat out villainous (“Mwa ha ha! I won’t rest until I have destroyed EVERY tree! Mwa ha haa!”) or misguided and concerned only about the bottom line (“Plant saplings to replace the trees we’ve cut down? Do you have any idea how much saplings COST!?”).

This is every environmentally-themed TMNT Adventures story ever written. Every. Single. One.

It is patently dishonest and antagonistic, creating this alternate reality where every person in charge of overseeing environmental development is either fundamentally incompetent or a flat-out super villain. And of course it takes life-threatening raids from an eco-terrorist to teach these criminal masterminds the error of their ways.

Look, I don’t support deforestation or dumping of trash into the ocean or any of that sort of stuff. But the very idea that businessmen whose income relies on maintaining renewable resources, would clear-cut whole forests and not plant saplings to RENEW that resource… is just the worst level of strawman bullshit. I am certain that there are unscrupulous corporate head honchos out there, dumping radioactive waste underneath puppy orphanages, but TMNT Adventures presents a world where EVERY person in charge is a Mr. Burns or a Hoggus Greedly or a Lex Luthor, never being fair-enough to offer a counterpoint or so much as a glimpse at individuals trying to do things right. Everyone who isn’t Steve Murphy or Steve Sullivan is a greedy asshole out to destroy the planet because, I dunno, money or something.

Then there’s the bit about the Sasquatch having a natural remedy for radiation poisoning. So what you’re telling me is that a cure for cancer was growing there the whole time? Famed environmentalist and protagonist of our story, Victor Fosse, knew of an herb that could instantaneously cure all forms of radiation sickness just be eating it off the stem… and spent a year hanging with Bigfoot and raiding construction sites rather than share this with humanity? What a swell guy! Also factor in the fact that his main gripe was the toxic waste sitting in the ravine, waiting for the storage tunnels to be built to house it. But by impeding the progress of the site’s construction with his sabotage tactics, all he was doing was prolonging the amount of time the waste would be sitting exposed in that ravine!

And jeez, does Steve Sullivan even know how the government disposes of toxic waste? They encase that shit in concrete then bury it in salt mines in the middle of unpopulated wastelands, keeping the area fenced off and guarded indefinitely and, get THIS, they even include signs written in dozens of languages warning of the toxic material stored on location, SO THAT JUST IN CASE CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES, generations thousands of years from now will know to keep away.

Yeah, that was a run-on sentence, but it was worth it.

These stories by Murphy (under the pseudonym Dean Clarrain) and Sullivan are all about educating kids on environmental matters, but it’s not education when you only present half of the story. It’s a biased man-handling of the facts, warping reality until it fits your agenda. So instead of teaching kids how toxic waste is actually disposed of by strictly regulated government operations, they create a fantasy world where greedy billionaires stuff it under forests just to save money and then present that as educational material. It’s dishonest, shameful and completely transparent.

There are plenty, PLENTY of genuine environmental failings in human history for these writers to use as solid examples and plenty of environmental successes in human history to use as a source of hope. Rather than resort to such honesty, we get shit like this, resulting in a generation that whole-heartedly believes the government is clear-cutting forests full of cancer-remedies and driving bigfoot to extinction just to save a couple of bucks. Because the Ninja Turtles and the Planeteers told them so when they were seven, which means it must be true.

Grade: F (as in, “For what it’s worth, Brian Thomas’s art was alright”.)

TMNT Adventures Special #1

2012-01-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

Publication date: Summer, 1992

Cover art: Bill Wray

Contents:

*If a Tree Falls…
*The Last Sea Serpent

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, I would place the stories in this special between TMNT Adventures #26 and TMNT Adventures #27.

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #6

2012-01-19T10:17:00.001-08:00

Publication date: August, 1988

Story: Ryan Brown
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Ryan Brown
Letters: Steve Lavigne
Frontispiece: Ryan Brown and Eric Talbot

“Leatherhead”

Summary:

Frontispiece: While fishing in a gator-infested bayou, one of the Turtles compares the swamp to the sewers of New York. Seeing all the gators crowding his boat reminds him of a legend whispered by the homeless vagrants that take refuge in the sewer tunnels. A legend of a giant man-eating gator called Leatherhead…

In Madagascar, a big game hunter shoots down the last of the blue elephants. Bagging it as a trophy, he tells his assistants that he’s sick of such typical game and wants something more challenging. Looking at a newspaper clipping about a large alligator in the sewers of New York, Marlin climbs into his helicopter and takes off. Shortly after he leaves, a military officer curses that once again, the poacher has escaped. Finding the newspaper clipping, though, he vows to give chase.

In the alleys of New York, the Turtles fight against a unit of Foot Soldiers. The ninja retreat, but Leo knows that they will return in greater numbers. The Turtles retreat into a sewer pipe, not knowing where it will lead them. As they traverse the unfamiliar tunnels, they fail to notice a creature observing them from beneath the murky water.

Outside another sewer pipe, Marlin packs his gear and orders his assistants to await his triumphant return at the hotel. After Marlin enters the tunnel and the assistants drive away, the military officer comes out of hiding and follows.

In the sewer tunnels, the Turtles make the mistake of bumping into Marlin. Deciding that four giant turtles would make for an even greater trophy, Marlin opens fire with his machinegun. Knowing the arena is too cramped for them to make a stand against automatic weaponry, the Turtles make a break for it, only to round a corner and find themselves looking down a unit of Foot Soldiers. Leo orders Mike to watch their rear and look for a means of escape while they deal with the Foot. Inadvertantly, Mike springs a trap door in the wall, leading to a hidden room. As Marlin arrives, gunning down the Foot Soldiers to secure his prey, the Turtles flee into the secret passage.

They find themselves in a small room where lots of Utrom technology appears to have been salvaged from the TCRI building. Before they can figure things out, Marlin comes bursting through the wall, ready to kill them. Suddenly, a hulking mutant alligator springs from his hiding place and causes Marlin to faint. The gator introduces himself as Leatherhead and explains that he means the Turtles no harm. In fact, he has been watching them since they entered his sewers and, not being humans, he had hoped to speak with them.

Leatherhead lays down his origin; that he was once a pet gator that was discarded into the sewers. He was exposed to mutagen from the TCRI building and found by a pair of Utrom guards. They took him in and, as he mutated into an intelligent anthropomorph, kept him around as an equal. Leatherhead would take lengthy trips into the forgotten depths of the sewers though, often leaving for days, and it was during one of these trips that the TCRI building was destroyed and the Utroms escaped from Earth. Leatherhead salvaged what tech he could and has been working on a communication device so that his friends might return for him.

Wanting to put some distance between themselves and Marlin, Leatherhead leads the Turtles to a forgotten cave beneath the sewers. Suddenly, Marlin appears behind them, still brandishing his gun. Leatherhead leads the Turtles to an ancient stone bridge spanning an underground river. After crossing, Leatherhead demolishes the bridge with his tail. Unfortunately, the bridge collapses before he can finish crossing and Leatherhead is left dangling on the ledge. Marlin takes aim, but before he can pull the trigger, a throwing knife severs the tendons in his hand and he drops his gun. The knife was thrown by the military officer, who orders Marlin to surrender and come with him into custody for poaching. Marlin tries to back away, but inadvertently stumbles off the cliff, falling into the river below. The officer glances across the destroyed bridge and catches a brief glimpse of the Turtles and Leatherhead.

Later, the Turtles lead Leatherhead to their old sewer lair. Since Leatherhead’s home has been compromised, they offer to let him live in their former digs. Leatherhead thanks them, as it is a perfect place to continue his work. As the Turtles leave, Mike wonders if they should have made Leatherhead sign a renter’s agreement. Leo sighs.

Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place sometime after TMNT (Vol. 1) #21.

*The TCRI building was destroyed and the Utroms fled Earth in TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.

*The Turtles will meet Leatherhead again in TMNT (Vol. 1) #45.

*Unbeknownst to the Turtles, they met Leatherhead as children in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #38.

*A decompressed look at Leatherhead’s origin can be seen in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #50, in the back-up story “Threads”.

*Marlin and Officer Emil will return in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #50.

*For the Tales of the TMNT Original Vol. 1 Series Treasury Edition trade paperback collection (whew!), the original frontispiece was swapped out with a new one by Jim Lawson, tying into a larger story arc going through all the new frontispieces created for that collection.

*Leatherhead’s introduction to the Turtles was adapted for the 4Kids TMNT episode “What a Croc”, while the whole “chased by Marlin” plot was used for the episode “Hunted”.

*This issue also contained bonus pin-ups of Leatherhead by Jim Lawson, Steve Lavigne, Eric Talbot, Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird and Steve Bissette, as well as a bonus pin-up of Leonardo by Michael Gaydos.

Review:

The Sensational character-find of 1988: Leatherhead!

Or that’s what the issue would have you believe, anyway. Mirage was really, really excited about this guy, who got his own five-page pin-up gallery at the end of the issue. And hey, they should be excited, because Leatherhead would end up being one of the most popular returning characters of the series, appearing in just about every incarnation of the TMNT franchise (in various degrees of faithfulness).

While he isn’t my favorite new character to come out of Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1), as that honor belongs to the Rat King, I do like Leatherhead quite a bit. His first appearance, though, suffers from some of the same problems I had with the first appearance of Nobody in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #2. That is, he doesn’t really do anything. He pops out from behind a curtain, causing Marlin to faint, then he talks a lot, then he falls off a bridge, then he goes to live in the old sewer lair. Leatherhead looks awesome and has a fascinating origin and the idea of making him hyper-intelligent instead of a hulking brute was a great twist… but he doesn’t do anything!

But even though Leatherhead doesn’t involve himself in much of the issue’s action, there’s still plenty of it to go around. The Turtles getting pinned between Marlin and the Foot Soldiers creates some great tension, and I love the scene where Marlin comes bursting through the wall, shuriken all sticking out of him. A great way of visually showing that he had to gun his way through the Foot Soldiers to get to the Turtles, but without having him tell it to the audience. There’s also some superb set-pieces in the issue. I'm fascinated by the idea of hidden caves and forgotten architecture beneath New York’s sewers, something issues like Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #1 have explored. The ancient stone bridge would, in a way, become synonymous with Leatherhead in other offshoots of the franchise. The Turtles fight him on one in TMNT Adventures #6 and his boss battle in TMNT Arcade takes place on the same bridge.

As a total nerd, I have one problem with this issue and that’s to do with a contradiction it presents. The Turtles give their lair away to Leatherhead at the end, which creates a huge headache as to just when this story can take place. At a glance, one would think it takes place during the years they lived with April above the antique shop, but the Turtles return to their sewer lair in “Return to New York” with Leaterhead nowhere to be found. And they continue living in their lair for several issues after the fact, again, with Leatherhead nowhere to be found. The only answer is that this story must take place somewhere further down the line, after they leave New York again for an extended stay in Northampton. But even then, the lair is shown to still be trashed by the Mousers.

It’s just… a continuity hiccup. Nothing to be done about it.

Leatherhead is a character that shines brighter in his subsequent appearances. This issue seems too preoccupied in trying to introduce him that it forgets to allow him to actually do anything but deliver exposition. Be that as it may, I love the set pieces of the story and I can’t hate on anything that includes a battle with the Foot.

Grade: B- (as in, “But I CAN hate on Marlin’s rat-tail. Every kid in my school had one of those in the 90s…”)

Furrlough #52

2012-01-17T10:14:00.001-08:00

Published by: Radio Comix
Publication date: April, 1997

Story: Dean Clarrain
Art: Chris Allan

“Chapter Three: Seed of Destruction”

Summary:

Sneaking into Seirankai Laboratories in the dead of night, Ninjara finds entrance through a ventilator shaft. She locates the gilgamesai seed hovering in a stasis field, but before she can snatch it, several armed guards show up. She kills one with a pair of shuriken, while the second opens fire. A third leaps at her from behind, but she judo-flips him into the second guard’s line of fire, killing him.

Ninjara and the second guard are at a standoff. Ninjara offers him the opportunity to leave with his life, as it is only a seed he is protecting. The guard refuses, fearing the repercussions of his employer, and opens fire. Ninjara dodges the bullets and slices off the guard’s leg.

She then approaches the stasis field with the seed in it, wondering what could possibly be so important about the thing. As she plucks it out of the field, the silhouette of a female cat-mutant appears behind her, ready to pounce...

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Furrlough #48.

*Page 4 was mistakenly printed as Page 2 in this issue.

*Due to various other professional obligations, Murphy and Allan were never able to complete the serial and it remains unresolved.

Review:

And Ninjara’s furry serial comes to a cliffhanger conclusion. I hope you weren’t too interested in the thing, as you’ll likely never see it completed. Viacom owns Ninjara lock, stock and barrel, now (Murphy and Allan have revealed that they no longer own the character rights) and I doubt a family-friendly multinational corporation would fund continuing a blood and nudity-filled serial originally published in a book for bestiality fetishists. And you’ll probably never see these three chapters reprinted anywhere, either. Lacking a conclusion means they’ll never be collected on their own, and the adult material means they could never be included in a TMNT Adventures collection as a curiosity.

No, these things are pretty much doomed to be forgotten.

It’s sort of a shame, too, as I rather liked the story and the setting and especially Allan’s art… I just thought the “adult” tones were really gratuitous and unnecessary, adding absolutely nothing to the comic.

This third and final chapter is probably my favorite of the bunch, as it excludes the nudity and juvenile cursing, sticking to the action. Ninjara is a bit too ruthless, for my tastes, killing the first two guards without hesitation (the first guard offered her a chance to surrender and she “fired” first, while the third guard tried to subdue her without killing her). She offers the second guard a chance to leave with his life, and through his dialogue we learn that he works for some unsavory characters, so I guess we’re supposed to forgive her as she was only killing “bad guys”.

No idea who the cat-woman at the end was going to turn out to be. I’m assuming it’s a cat-woman, as that’s what the silhouette looks like, but who can be sure?

Anyway, I think the Ninjara serial had a good story at its core that got ruined due to the medium it was being published in (a furry stroke mag). The preoccupation with being “adult” undermined its positive qualities and put it in such a narrow niche that there’s no way we could ever see the chapters reprinted. All in all, I appreciate the gesture, but the end result was just a bad idea.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Come to think of it, we never see Ninjara in any other future stories. Maybe the cat-woman killed her?”)

Furrlough #48

2012-01-17T09:38:00.001-08:00

Published by: Antarctic Press
Publication date: December, 1996

Story: Dean Clarrain
Art: Chris Allan

“Ninjara, Part 2”

Summary:

At the mansion of Tetsu Kono, Ninjara is having trouble with the ninja doorman. She says she’s been summoned to do a job, but the doorman won’t let her in. They trade insults and prepare to trade blows, when Tetsu orders Ichiro (the doorman) to stand down. Ninjara enters the mansion to find the elderly man trimming a bonsai. He sicks three of his ninja on her as a test of skill while he dictates his mission. He wants her to steal the last remaining seed of the gilgamesai orchid; as a collector, it is priceless. Ninjara handily defeats the ninja and accepts half her usual fee upfront. She then leaves to steal the seed from Seirankai Laboratories. After she exits, Tetsu orders Ichiro to follow her, find her weakness and then bring her back to him.

Outside a Buddhist temple, Ninjara leaves her daughter, Moko, with one of the priests. The priests of the temple are friends of Ninjara’s and happily take charge of her child. Ninjara bids Moko farewell, though the little girl wants to go with her, citing that she wants to be just like her mother. Such a notion doesn’t sit well with Ninjara.

By a torii, Ninjara meditates. She considers how she used to be known as the greatest thief in all of Japan, but is now nothing more than a hired burglar. Still, she concedes that she needs the money in order to track down those who killed her husband, Mokoshan, and get her revenge.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Furrlough #47. The story “concludes” in Furrlough #52.

*The insults the doorman lobbies at Ninjara translate to: “dorobo” (thief), “hirogeru onna” (fat woman) and “jorou” (whore). Ninjara’s retort translates to: “chimpoko no atama” (penis-brain) and “chiisai chinchin” (tiny dick).

Review:

The second installment in Ninjara’s furry serial has precisely the same ups and downs as the first. I have nothing negative to say about the story or the characters or the setting. I’m actually interested to see future-Ninjara walking around in the world of “The Future Shark Trilogy” with her daughter, tracking down her husband’s killer. All that stuff is pretty cool.

No, what I take issue with is just how sloppily Murphy (Clarrain) is forcing the “maturity” into each strip. And of course, I’m defining “maturity” at its absolute most juvenile: gore, nudity and cursing. We haven’t gotten to the gore yet, but you can strike the other two off the list.

The trading of verbal barbs between Ichiro and Ninjara is just embarrassing to read. For non-Japanese speakers (I’m assuming that’s most of you), you probably wouldn’t care, but for me, it was like watching a pair of 7th graders trying to one-up each other. It was stupid, not just for the immature crap the insults translate to, but because it reads like some fan fic author with an online Japanese-English translator trying to dig up whatever “hilarious” bits of name-calling they can find for their Ranma ½ epic. Even if you don’t know Japanese, it reads very amateurishly.

Chris Allan’s pencils are as good as ever and though there isn’t much action in this installment, there’s still a lot of life and energy to the characters. He’s definitely drawing Ninjara more… buxom, than in TMNT Adventures, but at least she keeps her shirt on for this chapter. Furrlough is nothing more than a furry stroke mag, after all, so he has to fulfill the mandatory allotment of “animal-based sexiness” somehow.

Grade: C (as in, “Cripes, I guess I’ve become a ‘fursecutor’. Oh good heavens, no!”)

Furrlough #47

2012-01-16T11:50:00.001-08:00

Published by: Antarctic Press
Publication date: November, 1996

Story: Dean Clarrain
Art: Chris Allan

“Ninjara, Part 1”

Summary:

In the post apocalyptic ruins of a city, a shrouded figure wanders the rubble with her infant daughter in a carriage. She considers that there was a time when all she wanted was to be alone; wanted it so much that she wished all of mankind would disappear. Later, she learned the value of companionship. And from one of her companions, she bore a child. Now, they are all gone and she wishes she had more.

Suddenly, a bright light appears and skeletal, demonic creatures stand before her. The monsters demand the woman’s daughter. The mother unsheathes her sword and a fight breaks out. In the fight, the monsters tear off her bandages, exposing her as Ninjara. Grabbing the baby, the monsters taunt Ninjara that the little girl will be joining her father in Hell. The monsters disappear with the baby as Ninjara screams and cries in futile horror.

Ninjara wakes up from her bad dream to find her elementary school-aged daughter at her side. Her daughter asks her if she had another dream about their father. Ninjara tells her that it was merely a dream about being alone. Leaving the junked car they spent the night in and donning their shrouds, the two walk stealthily into a futuristic city populated by humans.

Turtle Tips:

*Ninjara last appeared in TMNT Adventures #70. This story continues in Furrlough #48.

*This story takes place in the same future first explored in TMNT Adventures #42.

*For legal reasons, no mention could be made of the Ninja Turtles in this story. An advertisement published in Furrlough #45 and #46, however, features the character stating, “I’m not hanging with teenagers anymore!” Incidentally, that ad mistakenly used Steve Murphy’s real name rather than his pseudonym, “Dean Clarrain”.

Review:

I think a piece of me died, paying money for a furry stroke mag. This eBay transaction is probably logged into my FBI record or something. Oh, the things I do for the Ninja Turtles…

Anyway, I’ve talked about how Ninjara is not one of my favorite characters. As a matter of fact, I used to straight up detest her. My opinion has mellowed over time and I’ve found her to be a decent supporting cast member. One thing I actually liked about this 7 page short was her monologue at the beginning, where she reflects on her behavior in her very first appearance as a villain (where she tried to exterminate all humanity). In the past, I mentioned that her transition from “genocidal maniac” to “good guy” was really rushed and sloppy and her previous deeds were never again addressed in TMNT Adventures. Well, brief though it was, she DOES address them in this issue. So that’s cool and all.

But yeah, this is a furry stroke mag. It is NOT crafted to be in the same tone as TMNT Adventures. “Fuck” is used freely by the title character and, yes, Ninjara gets her shirt torn off, exposing her breasts for all the furries of the world to see. Ugh.

I’m sorry, but I don’t get my rocks off on animals, so furry sex appeal has never done anything for me. But even barring my personal disgust with the fetish, I found the gratuitous swearing and nudity to be detrimental to what is otherwise a decent solo story following a supporting character from TMNT Adventures. The swearing seems to have been included as a means of proving “we aren’t a KIDS comic, anymore!” while the nudity seemed to only have been included so the comic could fit in with the other raunchy tales published in Furrlough.

As for the other stories in Furrlough and the rest of Antarctic Press’s line-up, my response can be summed up thusly:

There is NOTHING more hideous than white people trying to draw “anime style”. Good freakin’ God.

Grade: C (as in, “Could have gotten a B if it weren’t so preoccupied trying to give boners to a bunch of pig-yiffing freaks”.)

TMNT Adventures #54

2012-01-16T09:38:00.001-08:00

Publication date: March, 1994

Story/Edits: Dean Clarrain
Pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Jon D’Agostino
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Airfare: V. Gorelick

“The Animus War, Part 2 of 2”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

Chapter One: The Dark Crusade

Above the mob in Jerusalem, the Animus appears as a massive, lumbering figure. Holding the Dead Sea Scroll he stole, the Animus informs the people that for centuries he has watched humanity wage religious wars with one another and that their beliefs have caused nothing but death and suffering to humanity. Having interpreted the scroll his own way, he’s come to the conclusion that the only way to help humanity is to wipe it out. Golani, the spiritual guardian of Jerusalem, disagrees and blasts the creature of darkness with concentrated light. Animus sicks Katmandu and Al-Falqa on her and they drag her to the ground.

April and Oyuki finally arrive on the scene, hoping to get some footage of the Animus. April shines a spotlight on him, which causes the monster great pain. Golani uses the distraction to break free and blast the villain with more concentrated light. Animus vanishes, vowing to return after dark when he’s more powerful. The mob, now free of the Animus’s control, regain their senses. As the Turtles regroup, Splinter has terrible news: the Molotov cocktail explosion has left Michaelangelo blind.

Chapter Two: Darkness Weaves

Back in the hotel room, Golani returns to her human form as Ariella and tells her comrades about the Animus. He is a creature of darkness who is worshipped by a cult known as the Hashasheem. They’re situated in a place called Nimrod’s Fortress, so she suggests they start looking for answers there.

Sadly, Michaelangelo has to stay behind due to his condition. Splinter orders Oyuki to remain with him and keep him safe.

Chapter Three: Into the Night…

At Nimrod’s Fortress, the Turtles meet up with Katmandu and Al-Falqa, who are looking to get even for being hypnotized by Animus. Together, they all sneak underneath the fortress, through the catacombs. They are quickly found out by the Hashasheem and a brawl ensues. Golani subdues the last of the cultists with a blast of light.

The humans defeated, the gang journeys into the ceremonial chamber where they find a giant statue of the Animus, and beneath it, the Dead Sea Scrolls. The statue turns out to be the real thing, but Golani is not concerned. Without his cultists to give him power through their belief, the Animus is too weak to harm anybody. The Animus then proceeds to shrink down to the size of an action figure. Not wanting to just let him run free, Ninjara comes up with a solution.

Back at the hotel, they place the (furious) Animus inside Oyuki’s snow globe souvenir that she bought at the airport.

BACK-UP STORY:

Story: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Art: Jim Lawson and Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

“Megadeath, Part 7 of 7”

The Mutanimals step out to the beach to investigate the strange meteorite. Considering it didn’t destroy all of Mutani-Isle when it struck, Jagwar deduces that it isn’t a real meteorite. He is correct, as it is actually a spaceship containing Scul and Bean!

Mondo Gecko tells Candy to take cover while he and the Mutanimals deal with Queen Maligna’s old goons. The fight goes well, as Wingnut eventually wins by using his shrunken wings to fly, lifting Bean up and dropping him on top of Scul. Thinking the battle over, the Mutanimals let their guard down, leaving them wide open to a surprise attack from the Gang of Four. Dead-Eye, Executor and Lynch mow the Mutanimals down with a stream of machinegun fire while Fist finishes the job with a blast from his rocket launcher. Their job complete, the Gang of Four tells Scul and Bean to quit playing possum so they can go. As they take off in the meteor-ship, Scul and Bean titter over what is to come.

Appearing through a time-slip, future-Don and future-Raph discover they’ve arrived too late (funny, I thought they had a time machine…?). Future-Raph mumbles that things weren’t supposed to turn out this way as Don scans the bodies of the Mutanimals. They’re all dead. Suddenly, Slash emerges from the waves, enraged. Blaming the future-Turtles for the deaths of his friends, he swears to kill them.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #53. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #55.

*Scul and Bean last appeared in Mighty Mutanimals (miniseries) #3.

Review:

A pretty sloppy conclusion to the story, if I must say. The way they beat Animus is so slapdash and rushed; they enter his chamber for the final battle but find that he’s already done for because they handily squashed his goon squad. The End.

What’s more shocking about “The Animus War” story arc is just how scathing it is toward religion as a whole. Using one of the most religiously war-torn places on Earth as a backdrop, Murphy (Clarrain) pretty much proceeds to lay down how faith in deities brings nothing but conflict and death:

“Long have I waited for this moment. Long have I watched from the dark, watched as man has killed man in the name of religion, in the name of love and light, for the sake of gods and prophets long since vanished from this realm… For two thousand years this madness has continued, spreading forth like the shadows that join together to form the night…”

Of course, that quote comes from the villain, Animus. But even Animus is used as an example of how sacred texts can be interpreted to mean anything someone wants them to. He comes up with the whole “destroy humanity so religion can do no more harm” solution by “interpreting” the Dead Sea Scrolls to his liking. And there isn’t really a counterpoint to the anti-religious themes in the issue, either. At no point does a character stop to argue that religion has brought comfort and art to the world or whatever. Golani only triumphs through violence and show of force; that HER religion is stronger than HIS religion and she’ll pound anyone into the ground that says otherwise. In that last regard, it’s a pretty good simile of the never-ending conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians.

Personally, I’m of an Agnostic attitude; I’ll find out what happens when I die. I don’t much care for those who oppress others with their religious beliefs, but I know that those sorts of assholes aren’t the norm, either (they’re just every single politician in the United States). “The Animus War” is a strange story in that it isn’t a particularly well-crafted action narrative (Golani has no back story, Katmandu and Al-Falqa have no call to be there, the conflict is resolved as anticlimactically as possible), but it has a remarkably daring “moral” underlining it. I think the only kid’s property I’ve ever seen promote Atheism to this degree was “Dexter’s Laboratory”, where a thinly-veiled Stephen Hawking parody does a song and dance number about the superiority of science to spirituality (“Mother Nature and Father Time both ruled the world together; But if you take just a little time you can prove them wrong and do them better!”).

Whether you agree with the sentiment or not, it was definitely a ballsy thing for a children’s comic to do.

And speaking of ballsy maneuvers, that brings us into the Mighty Mutanimals back-up, which has finally concluded. So yeah. They’re all dead.

Steve Murphy’s and Ryan Brown’s reasons for slaughtering the Mutanimals have always seemed rather petty to me. Their ongoing series got cancelled unceremoniously, and despite a lot of pitching and back and forth with the various corporate entities involved, they were unable to launch their Mutanimals cartoon series and toyline. So in the wake of that frustration, Murphy and Brown just decided to kill them all off. If they can’t have their own comic, cartoon and toyline then they’re better off dead, right?

“Megadeath”, as a whole, was not a well-executed story. I get what they were trying to do, building up the Mutanimals’ secret headquarters and rogues gallery and trying to set them up as their own unique group, only to shock the audience by slaughtering them all without any warning. It definitely makes their deaths a real surprise, but at the expense of wasting all the potential they’d been crafting for so many years and so many issues. All because Murphy and Brown couldn’t get that stupid cartoon they wanted.

On the bright side, “Megadeath” spins off into “Terracide”, a very heavy arc dealing with the aftermath of this stupid storyline. “Terracide” is quite good and we couldn’t have it without “Megadeath”. So I suppose it’s a case of “the ends justifying the means”. Still, “Megadeath” was just an awful mess (how can you be LATE Donatello!? YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE!!!).

Grade: C- (as in, “Can’t say I imagined Jerusalem’s guardian as a naked fish-woman. Fish are kosher, right?”)

TMNT Adventures #53

2012-01-13T09:50:00.001-08:00

Publication date: February, 1994

Story/Edits: Dean Clarrain
Pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Jon D’Agostino
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Papyrus: V. Gorelick

“The Animus War, Part 1 of 2”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

Chapter One: The Awakening

Somewhere in the Middle East, an evil cult summons a demonic creature named Animus from places beyond. Now free to travel the world of Man once more, Animus sends his spirit south to Jerusalem, where the Dead Sea Scrolls are kept. Breaking into their shrine, he steals the “scroll of the war of the children of light and the children of darkness”, alternatively known as “the end of days”. With it, Animus shall know everlasting victory.

Chapter Two: The Quickening

At an airport in Jerusalem, April and Oyuki finally make it through customs and hail a cab. Apparently, the footage they shot of Wyrm, Scumbug and Toxzeem earned them a gig covering an interfaith convention centered on religious tolerance. After having the bellhops lug their multiple (humongous) trunks up to their room, they unpack… the Turtles, Splinter and Ninjara!

Finally able to breathe again, the mutants immediately have to hide as the room is visited by a member of Jerusalem’s military, Private Ariella Yahuda. She has been assigned to act as April’s guide/babysitter while she covers the conference. April isn’t thrilled about it, but has no choice. Once Ariella leaves, the Turtles and Ninjara engage in a rousing pillow fight while Splinter turns on CNN. They’re met with a horrible sight: everyone in the streets of Jerusalem has gone berserk, breaking out into mob violence over matters of faith. Making things worse, two monsters have joined the brawl: Katmandu and Al-Falqa. April and Oyuki attempt to check the situation out, but Ariella refuses to let them leave their room. The Turtles, however, sneak out the window.

Chapter Three: The Advent

Down in the streets, the Turtles, Spliner and Ninjara are besieged by a mob of mindless, possessed people. They try to quell the zombies without hurting them, but the presence of skilled bruisers like Katmandu and Al-Falqa (also possessed) only makes things worse. Suddenly, one of the rabble throws a Molotov Cocktail into a nearby car and Michelangelo gets caught in the explosion. As he lays unconscious, the spirit of Animus hovers above him, laughing.

Elsewhere, Private Ariella decides that the situation has left her no choice. Transforming into a scaly, blue-skinned creature, she declares that she must call forth the powers of Golani.

BACK-UP:

Story: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Art: Jim Lawson and Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

“Megadeath, Part 6 of 7”

On his new island home in the Caribbean, Slash reflects on his lost homeworld, Palmadise, and how his new homeworld is so similar. Not far away, on Mutani-Isle, Mondo Gecko and Candy watch a passing meteor shower, getting all romantic.

Inside the volcano HQ, the other Mutanimals use their state of the art computers to try and dig up information on the foursome that recently attacked them. Man Ray suggests they use their satellite monitoring system to try and track them down.

Suddenly, an emergency alarm goes off in the base. One of the meteors from the shower overhead has made it through Earth’s atmosphere unscathed and crashes on the beach of Mutani-Isle. Seeing the explosion from a distance, Slash thinks that his new homeworld is under attack. Enraged, he leaps into the ocean, swimming straight for Mutani-Isle.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #52. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #54.

*Katmandu last appeared in TMNT Adventures #34 while Al-Falqa last appeared in TMNT Adventures #36.

*Slash last appeared in Mighty Mutanimals #9.

*Mondo Gecko and Candy were reunited in Merdude and Mondo Gecko #2.

Review:

It’s funny what Murphy (Clarrain) has been doing with these last bunch of issues. Basically, he’s been bringing back all the mutants and plot-points that appeared in earlier storylines pretty much in the order they were originally introduced. First he brought back the Eyes of Sarnath, then Stump and Sling, then Codename: Chameleon, then Wyrm and Scumbug, now Katmandu and Al-Falqa. It’s sort of a nostalgia rush for the book, even if characters like Katmandu and Al-Falqa have only been out of the picture for two years or so.

What’s funny about this first installment in “The Animus War” is that I don’t really care about the prologue with the Hellish deity or the cliffhanger with the unruly mob that bookend the issue. I just really, really enjoy all the stuff in-between; April and Oyuki sneaking the Turtles into their hotel room, then everybody goofing off and having a good time. It’s fun and leisurely and cute.

I’m also grateful to see April and Oyuki back in the picture for an extended period of time. Allan puts so much style and energy into April’s appearance and expressions, too. A lesser/lazier artist would simply draw April in the same outfit and hairstyle in every issue, but Allan realistically changes up her wardrobe between appearances as well as her look (she has a ponytail and a Yankees cap in this issue). Oyuki is still wearing her usual leather jacket and t-shirt ensemble, but I think that works for the tomboyish character.

Though it’s only been touched upon so far, “The Animus War” is setting foot in some territory that would be considered pretty dangerous in today’s international climate; namely, the hostilities between Palestine and Jerusalem. Not that it wasn’t a hot button issue in 1994, but considering just how bad things have gotten in the past 18 years, no children’s comic would ever “go there” now ‘n days. In a way, it’s both impressive and depressing; that a kid’s comic from ’94 would dive into such volatile political waters, but that the situation in reality has gotten so sensitive that it’s become genuinely dangerous to even discuss it publically in some circles.

Then again, TMNT Adventures once published a drawing of Muhammad and it didn’t end with the Archie and Mirage offices getting carbombed into the ground, so I think we’ve already established how far Western and Middle Eastern societies have deteriorated in regards to religious tolerance.

Back to the subject of “The Animus War”, this is all just a lot of set-up but I found the middle section very light and amusing. Allan rocks some great pencils and D’Agostino’s inks look really sharp.

Grade: B (as in, “But wait, I forgot to mention the Mutanimals strip! ‘Mutani-Isle’? Stupid. Slash? Awesome! Okay, I’m done”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #4

2012-01-10T18:41:00.001-08:00

Publication date: July, 2004

Script: Steve Murphy
Plot: Steve Murphy and Rick Remender
Pencils: Rick Remender
Inks: John Beatty
Frontispiece/tones: Scott Cohn
Letters: Eric Talbot
Cover: Remender, Beatty, Talbot

“The Worms of Madness, Part Two”

Summary:

Frontispiece: Swimming for his life from a hungry shark, Michelangelo considers how he used to think the things were cool. Unfortunately, his opinion of sharks changed dramatically after his encounter with a certain shark-like monstrosity…

Recovering from their beat-down at the hands of the Shark Shredder, the Turtles find they have had their personalities mystically reversed. Mike is now the serious leader, Leo is now a goof-off, Raph is now a coward and Don is now an imbecile. Taking charge, Mike leads his brothers back to the lair until he can figure out a solution. As his brothers waste time, Mike hits the books in Splinter’s library, going over all his mystic tomes. Finding one to open a door to another dimension, Mike gathers the other Turtles and recites the incantation.

The Turtles find themselves in a “psychic prison” where a four-armed monkey meditates. The monkey is Pai-Doth Noor, a powerful mystic. He recognizes Leonardo, though since linear time does not exist in his astral jail, he cannot articulate whether they have already met or will meet in the future. Mike asks for Pai-Doth Noor’s help in restoring their personalities and finding Splinter. Noor agrees to reverse the spell of reversal placed upon them and return them to the physical plane at the location of their father, but so long as they agree to fulfill an unnamed bargain for him. The Turtles agree and Noor does the deed.

Now with their personalities returned, the Turtles find themselves teleported to a toxic waste dump somewhere in New Jersey. They comb the treatment plant and find the Foot Mystic and the Shark Shredder casting spells on a ledge overlooking the harbor. The Shark Shredder has grown tremendously in size, but the Foot Mystic is not through. He intends to use the worms to give the Shark Shredder a new body: Splinter’s.

The Turtles interrupt the ceremony with a surprise attack. After several failures, they eventually find that the Shark Shredder’s weak point is the exposed worms at his legs. Seeing that time is running short, the Foot Mystic finishes the spell to lift the Shredder’s spirit from the shark-monster body and channel it into Splinter via the worms. Leo cuts Splinter free at the last minute, pulling him from the worms. With no fresh body to go to, the Shark Shredder is trapped in his crumbling body composed of worms. In his madness, the Shark Shredder seizes the Foot Mystic in his claws, enraged both for his failure and for the awful truth: that he is not the real Oroku Saki, but a monstrous duplicate. Rapidly decaying, the Shark Shredder tumbles into the harbor, taking the Foot Mystic and the worms beneath the waves.

Splinter explains to the Turtles that in his final moments, the monster gained self awareness, which proved too much for it. The Turtles consider its fate somewhat tragic.

Down in the ocean depths, a strange creature considers how its hate for the Turtles has grown, yet that hate has left it hollow inside. The creature is revealed to be a hybrid of the Foot Mystic and the Shark Shredder. Realizing that it is a being of nothingness, it swims away, having only its hate to drive it.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #3.

*The previous/future encounter between Pai-Doth Noor and Leonardo will happen in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #13.

*The Mashima/Shark Shredder hybrid will return in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #33.

*Splinter’s line, “Life is at best bittersweet”, originates from Donatello (microseries) #1.

*This issue also contained a bonus story, “The Grape”, by Steve Murphy, Jim Lawson and Eric Talbot.

Review:

And “Worms of Madness” comes to a hasty conclusion. I actually felt that the reversal of personalities was a bit of a distraction from the plot, as it doesn’t go on long-enough for Murphy to get much out of it and the problem is resolved fairly quickly. Really, it seemed as though the only reason that subplot was included was so Murphy could introduce Pai-Doth Noor, setting up a future story arc in Tales of the TMNT.

Be that as it may, this is still a pretty solid conclusion to a very exciting storyline. Though mostly wasted potential, the reversal of personalities provided some levity at the beginning of the issue, as you see each Turtle behaving uncharacteristically. It could get a little too juvenile (the diarrhea joke was embarrassing to read), but it was fun to see Mikey saving the day.

For me, the story doesn’t really rev up until the Turtles get to the toxic waste dump and fight the Shark Shredder. From that point on, it’s pure action and Remender once again rocks the whole scene. The way the Shark Shredder is ultimately defeated felt somewhat predictable, but the Shark Shredder was never really meant to be a “major” threat, so to speak. He was a grotesque and powerful monstrosity, but he was never the “real” Oroku Saki. And in the end, that realization proved more of an undoing than Mashima’s blundering or the Turtles’ punches and kicks. Just one of the reasons why I really enjoy “Worms of Madness” as an epilogue to “Return to New York”, as it’s sort of akin to cleaning up the “leftovers” of that storyline and illustrates why the worms can never be used to bring the true Oroku Saki back to life ever again. Nope, he’s gone for good, this time.

Of course, the Shark Shredder would make one more appearance well down the line, but that story takes place a few years after this one and I’ll get to it in due time.

Though I enjoyed the first half of “Worms of Madness” a bit more than the second, I think they form a solid whole. It’s a great companion to “Return to New York” while otherwise being an entirely different type of story. Once again, I highly recommend it.

Grade: A- (as in, “Although, I challenge you to walk into a library looking for one sentence amongst all the books on the shelves. Mikey found it in five minutes, can you?”)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #3

2012-01-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

Publication date: May, 2004

Script: Steve Murphy
Plot: Steve Murphy and Rick Remender
Pencils: Rick Remender
Inks: John Beatty
Tones: Scott Cohn
Letters/frontispiece: Eric Talbot
Cover: Remender, Beatty, Talbot

“The Worms of Madness, Part One”

Summary:

Frontispiece: Decked out in vampire-hunting gear, Raphael considers how much he hates magic, monsters and otherworldly phenomenon. Why does he hate them so much? Because they're all real…

Somewhere in time and space, a four-armed monkey is meditating and laughing to himself. But, in the here and now…

The Turtles have done it. After a grueling battle, they have decapitated their arch-nemesis, Oroku Saki: The Shredder. Loading his corpse onto a small raft and shoving it out into New York Harbor, they set his body ablaze, with Leonardo personally wishing that he burn in Hell. As they leave, though, a Foot Mystic sneaks from his hiding place, having observed the whole ceremony. Having been one of the Foot Mystics who used his skill to revive Oroku Saki the first time via the worms, he vows to do so again out of sheer hatred for the Turtles. Casting a spell, he binds his spirit to the rapidly burning body of Oroku Saki. Later, a gull begins pecking at the charred corpse, knocking Saki’s severed head into the water, where it is promptly eaten by a shark, worms and all.

Down in the sewer lair, Leo is cleaning his katana in a post-battle ritual. He finds one of the worms still clinging to his blade and flicks it into the sink. Little does he know, the Foot Mystic, having now bonded with the worms that resurrected Saki, can see through the critters. He now knows where to find his foes.

A little over a week later, Splinter takes the Turtles to a nearby sewer tunnel for a lesson. Mike chides Leo for not lightening up after his big, epic duel, and Splinter actually sides with him. Leo thinks Mikey’s being too much of a spaz, as usual, so of course he doesn’t believe him when he says there’s a shark in the sewer water.

That shark bursts out of the muck, a gigantic creature with arms, tentacles and a shark’s head. The monster introduces itself as Oroku Saki, the Shredder, who has been reborn to take vengeance upon the Turtles for killing him a second time. Splinter doesn’t quite buy the monster’s claims, while his sons are more interested in putting Saki in the grave a third time. The Turtles attack, but the Shark Shredder nabs them all with his tentacles, draining them of their energy and dumping their unconscious bodies into the sewer. The Shark Shredder then sends a wave of worms toward Splinter. The wrigglers pick him up and draw him into the Shark Shredder’s body where he is to be absorbed.

Victorious, the Shark Shredder stomps away, laughing.

Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place immediately after TMNT (Vol. 1) #21, when the Turtles killed the Shredder. The story continues in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #4.

*Mashima the Foot Mystic can be seen in a flashback in TMNT (Vol. 3) #24, using the worms to resurrect Oroku Saki.

*This issue also came with a bonus story, “Green” by Peter Liehr and Peter Schaaff.

Review:

2004? Really? Jeez, it doesn’t feel like this issue came out nearly seven years ago. I hadn’t even turned 19 yet, when this thing came out! At this rate, I’ll be dead before I know it…

Anyway, I recall “Worms of Madness” feeling like a pretty big deal when Mirage announced it and it hit the racks.

And it was.

Oroku Saki had only ever been in a whopping total of four issues of the Mirage series, so the very idea of him making a comeback in Tales of the TMNT, even as a hideous shark mutant, was enough to excite a lot of fans. And “The Worms of Madness” had some lofty expectations to live up to, too. Not only was it bringing back the Shredder, who hadn’t been in a Mirage comic since 1989, but it was a sequel to “Return to New York”, one of the most acclaimed storylines in the whole series. Yessir, it pretty much HAD to be good if Mirage was willing to let it see print.

And it was.

Of course, we’ll find out next issue that it wasn’t quite the “real” Oroku Saki coming back as the Shark Shredder, but that was perfectly fine. A monster that thinks its Oroku Saki has come back from the grave and that’s all that really matters. Remender’s design for the beast is excellent, especially with the bone formation at the top of the shark-head looking like the crest of the Shredder’s helmet. Perhaps a bit silly, but let’s get real, here. The Shredder was just brought back from the dead as a gargantuan sharktopus. We all gotta lighten up for this one.

As a sequel to “Return to New York”, I really dig it. “Return to New York” was this humongous epic built upon years of storytelling that saw the Turtles running a gauntlet of dangers before having their final showdown with the Shredder. A fantastic story. Rather than try to emulate that approach, Murphy and Remender dial it down a notch. What “Worms of Madness” amounts to is something like “The Scouring of the Shire” from “The Return of the King” (the novel, not the movie); the epic quest is over, but there’s still one final, life-threatening loose end to take care of before everyone can chill and write their memoirs.

I also appreciate how it deviates from “Return to New York” in tone, too. In that storyline, the Turtles were pretty grim, even speaking some stoic, hammy, out of character dialogue. They were joyless characters in that one because it was, well, a very heavy, joyless story. Their attitude fit the nature of the arc. “Worms of Madness”, however, is ridiculous (but in a good way), and so the Turtles take the threat with a more lax and comical approach. And it’s one more reason why I like this as an epilogue of sorts to “Return to New York”, as the less serious tone acts as something of a “winding down” from the very gritty, uber-serious epic.

What really makes “Worms of Madness” a standout story arc is the whole production of it. They could have easily turned art duties over to Jim Lawson (penciler of “Return to New York”), but his contemporary style never could have done the script justice. Instead, they assemble a three-man team for pencils, inks and tones (unusual for Tales of the TMNT) and the result is a lavish, beautiful book. Remender’s layouts are pure dynamite; there’s so much energy in everything he pencils. There’s a great cinematic sheen to the staging, as panels follow circling drains or drift into close-ups one box at a time, but the whole thing never feels too decompressed. Beatty’s inks and Cohn’s tones, though, really make the whole thing pop. It’s a lighter story than “Return to New York”, for certain, but they add a great sense of menace and shadow to accent the “monster movie” theme.

“Worms of Madness” can be pretty goofy, no question about that, but the execution is all that matters. This is a superb production; one of the highlights of the second volume of Tales of the TMNT and one of the title’s best-selling couple of issues, too (the official website ran out of back issues of this story before any other). It’s really worth picking up as a compliment to “Return to New York”.

Grade: A (as in, “And keeping the timeline of the series intact, Mikey treats ‘The Simpsons’ like they’re still funny”.)

TMNT (Vol. 1) #21

2012-01-06T11:19:00.001-08:00

Publication date: May, 1989

Story: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird
Layouts: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Kevin Eastman
Letters: Steve Lavigne
Cover: Eastman, Laird, Lavigne

“Return to New York, Book Three”

Summary:

In the bowels of the Foot Clan’s Hudson Block facility, the Turtles face off against the three mutant Shredder clones: a speedy and agile midget, a lanky one with claws and a hulking brute with four arms. Raph breaks away from the pack, insistent on killing Oroku Saki himself. Leo kills the four-armed Shredder and chases after his brother, leaving Don and Mike to battle the clawed Shredder and the midget Shredder. The clawed Shredder lures Don onto a catwalk made of electrical cables, centered over a large exhaust vent, and the two go one-on-one.

Racing down a hallway, Raph is ambushed by the Shredder’s Elite Guard. Taken unawares, he is beaten to the ground. Leo arrives in the nick of time to save him, finishing all four Elite Guards on his own. Recovering, Raph tells Leo he was wrong to break away from the group. Raph encourages Leo to deal with Saki while he helps Don and Mike finish off the mutant clones.

Back in the basement, several Foot Soldiers have arrived with machineguns, making Don and Mike’s battle that much more complicated. The clawed Shredder has Don on the ropes. Thinking fast, Mike picks up Don’s discarded staff and bats the midget Shredder right into his clawed kin. The two creatures fall into the open exhaust shaft where they are caught in an explosion and vanish. Unfortunately, now both Turtles have become pinned by machinegun fire.

Taking down the Elite Guard at the door, Leo enters the top floor lobby and finds the Shredder meditating in preparation for battle. Leo demands to know how he survived being blown to bits by his own thermite grenade three years ago. The Shredder humors Leo, explaining that the Foot Clan is resourceful in both the mystic arts and modern science. Gathering his remains, they fed the pieces to a rare and curious worm that takes on the aspect and consciousness of whatever it eats, joining with other worms feeding on the same specimen, eventually becoming a completely new lifeform. The three mutant clones in the basement were failed attempts. Removing his armor, the Shredder reveals himself to be the true Oroku Saki, though the regeneration process has left him with a body looking like ground beef. Plucking up his swords, Saki is ready for battle.

Down in the basement, Don and Mike run out of shuriken and there are still plenty of gun-wielding Foot Soldiers left. Raph comes to the rescue, driving a robot-armed forklift into the crowd of ninja. On the roof, Leo and Saki begin their duel. The two are evenly matched, going blow for blow and taking critical damage from the other’s blade. Saki kicks Leo through a window and the two continue their fight onto the roof of the building.

Back in the basement, Raph picks up a stray rocket-launcher from one of the smashed crates. He fires the launcher, but the missile ends up hitting a large vat, unleashing a wave of liquid onto the Foot Soldiers and his brothers. On the roof, Saki has Leo dead to rights and prepares to deliver the finishing blow. However, the damage caused by the rocket in the basement has created a tremendous explosion which knocks Saki off balance and saves Leo’s life. As the building explodes around them, Leo and Saki charge at one another and, leaping into the air, strike their swords at the same time.

The explosion in the basement has set the entire building on fire. Don, Mike and Raph run from the flames, fighting their way through any Foot Soldiers getting in their way. Left with no alternative, they leave Leo behind, escaping into the sewers as the whole building goes up.

Later, down in the sewer lair, Leo returns from his battle. In his arms is the decapitated corpse of Oroku Saki. Honor finally being restored, the Turtles believe their mission to be over. Leo, however, tells them they have one last thing to do. Out on the bay, the Turtles watch as Saki’s corpse is cremated in a funeral pyre; the Shredder’s helmet resting on Leo’s sword, planted in the ground.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #20. Chronologically-speaking, I would place TMNT (Vol. 1) #45 next in sequence (though there are many Tales of the TMNT issues in-between).

*The Shredder last appeared in TMNT (Vol. 1) #10. He was killed in TMNT (Vol. 1) #1.

*A behind the scenes look at Shredder’s resurrection can be seen in TMNT (Vol. 3) #24.

*The surviving mutant Shredder clones will return in TMNT (Vol. 3) #25.

*The worms containing Oroku Saki’s consciousness will form a new menace, the Shark Shredder, in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #3.

Review:

So this is it. “Return to New York” is completed and holy cow, was it a trip.

For a guy who was only in a grand total of four issues, Oroku Saki was a most epic villain in the Mirage series. I think his lack of on-screen presence is what made him so incredible, in that he was a true “overlord” type villain that only got his hands dirty when the situation absolutely required his direct involvement. And in the three battles he engaged in with the Turtles over the course of the comic, he approached each of them intelligently and strategically, forcing the Turtles to run a gauntlet of Foot Soldiers before reaching him.

I remember in the animated movie “Turtles Forever”, one of the characters made the claim that the only constant across the multiverse is “the Shredder’s big fat ego”, but I think I would disagree with that. The only time one could claim the Mirage Shredder ever succumbed to his pride was when he responded to the Turtles’ challenge in TMNT #1, and even then, he weakened the Turtles with wave after wave of Foot Soldiers before taking them on in person. Naturally, his pride led to his downfall and after getting a second lease on life, he didn’t make the same stupid mistake again. In both the Leonardo #1/TMNT #10 story arc and “Return to New York”, Shredder’s attacks were anything but egotistical. For their first encounter, the Turtles were untested enemies, which could excuse Shredder only bringing one unit of Foot Soldiers to battle. But for his counterattacks, Shredder pretty much pits them against his entire army before they could even have a shot at taking him on at full health.

Again, for a guy who was only in four issues, Mirage’s Shredder was a pretty great villain.

I’m rather glad that they never “truly” brought him back, as “Return to New York” was about as far as they could go with the character before turning him into an “I’ll get you next time, Turtles! NEXT TIME!” type of recurring villain. The Mirage Turtles fight to kill and for the Shredder to keep coming back over and over and over again, that would paint the TMNT as being pretty incompetent at their trade. There is, of course, the question of whether this Shredder was the “real” Shredder or just a “clone”. His description of the worms’ methods can leave it up to interpretation, I suppose, though I saw it more as him being crudely “stitched” back together, with his “essence” still remaining within the repaired body. Though whether he was a “clone” or not, this Shredder still retained the personality, memories, skill and consciousness of Oroku Saki, so the argument seems a little moot.

As for the mutant Shredder clones, I felt they were taken out of the fight a bit too quickly; I’d definitely have liked to have seen more of them. I didn’t really feel they got to show off their individual traits enough before being killed. Still, midget Shredder is hilarious.

To talk about the final epic showdown between Leo and Saki is to also talk about the art; laid-out by both Eastman and Laird, with finished pencils by Jim Lawson. While the panels being so haphazardly strewn about the page make for a lot of empty white space, I felt it worked for the best. There are a LOT of panels per page in this issue, especially during the fight scenes, and having them all stacked one on top of the other would make the pages extremely claustrophobic-looking; like trying to read an old Golden Age comic where there are twenty panels per page because people in the 30s still wrote comics like they were a collection of newspaper strips.

The big two-page spread of Leo chopping Saki’s head off is, hard as it is to believe, very subtle. The 4Kids adaptation went with the tired old samurai movie/anime cliché of having both parties land after the midair strike, with the hero in the foreground and the villain in the background, both pausing momentarily until the villain’s head falls off… and Christ almighty, I HATE that hackneyed bit of Japanimation action staging. In the original comic, though, you don’t see them land, you don’t see Shredder’s head fall off, you don’t see the immediate aftermath of that strike; just the two-page splash with a thin white line separating Saki’s head from his shoulders, indicating who won the fight. Absolutely perfect.

Sadly, Eastman and Laird would exit the series on a creative level following this epic storyline. What follows is the dreaded “guest era” of the series; 24 consecutive issues of indie comics collaborators crafting ridiculous, surreal and often times stupid non-canon Turtle stories while the ongoing narrative is completely abandoned. Okay, okay, that’s a bit melodramatic, I admit. Two issues between TMNT #21 and TMNT #45 are confirmed by Laird as canon (TMNT #27 and TMNT #28, specifically) and several issues are written to function within the ongoing storyline and not act as non-canon wastes of time (Veitch’s “The River” trilogy, for example), and a few alternate takes are genuinely good (Zulli’s “Souls Winter” trilogy), but the vast majority of the next few years of TMNT (Vol. 1) will be comedy relief garbage by guest writers and artists. I hope you enjoyed “Return to New York”, because you won’t be seeing anything as awesome as this in TMNT (Vol. 1) for a long, long time.

Grade: A+ (as in, “Alan Moore called. He wants his ideas back”.)

TMNT (Vol. 1) #20

2012-01-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

Publication date: April, 1989

Story: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird
Layouts: Peter Laird
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Eric Talbot
Letters: Steve Lavigne
Cover: Eastman, Laird, Lavigne

“Return to New York, Book Two”

Summary:

Down in the sewers, the Triceraton Commando Zog leads “Commander Zoraph” and his three fellow “grunts” to a specific location. Zog seems delusional and can barely breath; Don deduces that Earth’s oxygen blend is deteriorating his mind. Zog leads them to a sewer tunnel and smashes through the floor, right into a Foot Clan control center. The Turtles and Zog waste the Foot Soldiers within and Don gets to work cracking their computers. He finds the schematics for the primary Foot stronghold called the Hudson Block and begins setting up alarm systems to divert the majority of the Foot’s forces away from their underground entry point.

Beneath the United Savings Bank, Zog uses his Triceraton blaster (under Commander Zoraph’s instruction) to slice a hole into a bank vault without tripping the security system. Zog then slices another hole into the Hudson Block sub-basement, where Foot Soldiers are stacking crates. The Turtles and Zog take down the ninja and proceed to the next room.

Unfortunately, Don got his directions mixed up and they accidentally waltz into a Foot training dojo. Not allowing any of the Foot to escape, they slay all the badguys within (and narrowly avoid getting mowed down by Zog’s stray blaster fire).

Entering a cargo loading zone, the Turtles and Zog seize a vehicle and proceed down a tunnel where their luck finally runs out. The alarm trips and they realize that the Foot are onto them. Arriving at the end of the tunnel, they crash the truck into the unit of Foot Soldiers waiting for them and begin an all-out brawl. Zog has now almost completely lost his mind and begins taking bullets without care. Plowing through Foot Soldiers with his horns, the wounds start to take their toll on the Triceraton. Zog stumbles the next corridor in a single-minded devotion to achieve his objective, only to be shredded by three mysterious assailants.

The Turtles finish the last of the Foot Soldiers and head to the next corridor. They find Zog’s corpse, but before they can reflect on the death of their comrade, they’re met by his murderers: three freakish mutant clones of the Shredder.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #19. The story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #21.

*Zog was stranded on Earth in TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.

Review:

I’m going to have to agree with 4Kids Michelangelo’s assessment of this portion of the story; it really is like a video game. The Turtles and Zog travel through narrow corridors from one room to the next in the villain’s fortress and they cannot advance to the next stage until they kill all the generic Foot Soldiers within. And once they get to the end of the level, they have to face the boss: the three Shredder Clones.

Konami could have made a kickass arcade beat-em-up out of this.

TMNT #20 is another prime showcase of how ruthless the Mirage Turtles are, at least when it comes to matters concerning the Foot. They don’t dick around. Donatello of all Turtles prevents the fleeing Foot Soldiers in the training dojo from escaping, citing “No one leaves”, then proceeds to contribute toward killing absolutely everyone. People comment that moments like this are simply juvenile, “look at how gritty and badass our comics” sort of dealies, but I disagree. If you read the big picture (the whole series and not just select issues), you’ll find that the Turtles don’t kill absolutely everyone and everything, but deliver the death penalty a bit more judiciously. They’re not going to stab a purse-snatcher to death, but a trained assassin working for a global crime syndicate that nearly killed their closest friends and family? Yeah, those assholes made their choice and they can deal with the consequences.

And at any rate, it’s not like they could just let a Foot Soldier run away, either. All they’d do is set off an alarm and ruin their plan. It’s a tough decision, but they’ve got to do what they’ve got to do. The Turtles were trained from childhood as assassins, after all, and they’ve been killing since at least age 12.

The next order of business is Zog; who is something of a “hi then die” character. His presence is certainly very convenient; from Raph happening to stumble upon him, to Zog happening to mistake Raph for his commanding officer, to Zog happening to know where the Foot Soldier control center was located. In this regard, I actually do appreciate Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #70 as a necessary supplement to make his presence seem so much less contrived. And even though he only stars in a single issue, he pretty much steals the whole show. His wheezing and babbling gives him a frightening and simultaneously pitiable personality and his all-out attack at the end of the issue is amazing. Got to give cred to Steve Lavigne, as he did an excellent job on the lettering and shape of Zog's speech bubbles.

Peter Laird provides the layouts for this issue, directing Jim Lawson’s pencils. “Return to New York”, alongside Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1), is the apex of Jim Lawson’s art style (he rapidly begins deteriorating as early as his next arc in TMNT Vol. 1) and he really turns in one of the most brutally beautiful issues of the series. As it happens, my favorite page of the whole issue is page 5; both in terms of layout and Lawson’s finished pencils. It’s a splash page with the Turtles and Zog at the top with descending lairs of the sewer beneath, culminating in the bottom of the drain water, where an alligator, a skeleton and other interesting tidbits lay. But between the top and the bottom are layered panels of Zog finding and stomping on the weak-point above the Foot control center.

It’s just a really, really interesting-looking page, that’s all.

“Return to New York” is a storyline that excels at “building steam”. Each issue is more exciting and eventful than the last, while each has its own unique fingerprint making it memorable on its own. The best is still yet to come, though.

Grade: A (as in, “Alas, poor Zog. We knew him not-so-well”.)

TMNT (Vol. 1) #19

2011-12-29T10:47:00.000-08:00

Publication date: March, 1989

Story: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird
Layouts: Kevin Eastman
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Peter Laird
Letters: Steve Lavigne
Cover: Eastman, Laird, Lavigne

“Return to New York, Book One”

Summary:

December 23rd, 1988.

Raph is asleep in a damp pile of trash in a sewer tunnel, dreaming of the events which occurred four days ago…

At the farm in Northampton, Raph finally decides he’s had enough of hiding. It’s been nearly a full year since the Shredder defeated them and he wants redemption. Don and Mike try not to get in his way, but Leo isn’t so intimidated, refusing to let Raph go. Raph tells Leo he’s lost his spine and the two throw down. After a lengthy brawl, Raph beats Leo and proceeds on his way to New York City alone.

Back to the present, Raph is woken by the sound of several Foot Soldiers prowling the sewers. Raph follows, only to be led into an ambush. Raph slays the Foot Soldiers, but more are heading his way. After a second battle, Raph hears a strange noise coming from one of the tunnels. Thinking it to be more Foot ninja, he follows the sound.

Raph comes across a bubbling pool which quickly expels its horrifying contents…

December 25th.

Leo, Don and Mike have arrived in New York, sneaking into the sewers in the dead of night. They make their way to their old lair and find a surprise waiting for them inside: Raphael.

Raph greets his brothers, knowing that they’d show up sooner or later. He has one last surprise in store for them: a Triceraton Commando.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued (chronologically) from TMNT (Vol. 1) #14. The story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #20.

*The Shredder exiled the Turtles to Northampton in TMNT (Vol. 1) #10.

*Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #70 takes place between pages 31 and 32 of this issue.

*Zog the Triceraton was left stranded on Earth in TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.

*The Turtles originally left their sewer lair to live with April in TMNT (Vol. 1) #3.

Review:

I’m just going to go ahead and suck any suspense out of my reviews right now and let you know that “Return to New York” is a straight-A storyline. Every issue is practically perfect and I never, ever tire of reading them. This was a hugely important story in the narrative of the TMNT series, being the culmination of everything the Mirage guys had been building toward for nearly two years. It is epic, it is awesome and it must be read.

That being said, this first installment is probably my “least” favorite of the three issues, but that’s not really an admonishment since I still think it is superb. TMNT #19 is built off the entire “Exile to Northampton” arc that had been running for about two years (only one year, though, in story-time) and makes you appreciate that narrative break even more. The Northampton era was nothing but a series of meaningless one-off adventures that, while perfectly interesting stories in their own right, amounted to nothing more than the Turtles spinning their wheels and accomplishing nothing. So when Raph finally cracks at the beginning of this issue and lambastes Leo and his brothers for taking it easy for a whole year, doing positively nothing, you connect with him instantaneously because you feel just the way he does.

I suppose if there’s any problem with that sequence, it could be that Raph was never shown being anxious to go home at any point in the Northampton stories; he's shown engaging in all the wacky adventures with same enthusiasm as his brothers. So while the story pacing worked out perfectly, one could say that the character pacing could have used a better build-up.

Be that as it may, holy shit, Raph vs. Leo.

Kevin Eastman’s layouts and Jim Lawson’s pencils are like peanut butter and chocolate; they were made for each other. The entire flashback sequence is just amazing. There’s so much tension as Raph spills his guts to Don and Mike, finally letting out what he’s come to think of Leo, followed by a loud slamming sound and then that splash page of Leo, entering the barn, half-cloaked in shadow, saying “What?!!” Some incredible dramatic staging right there.

The fight is eight solid pages and though it reads quickly as its mostly just trading blows, it’s a fight that needed to be decompressed for its sheer narrative value. Like Wolverine fighting Cyclops, it’s a showdown the writers had been building toward and you do not shortchange the audience on something like that. The fact that Raph wins has a deeper point to it, too. It isn’t because he’s the badass fan-favorite Turtle and Leo is the milquetoast dullard; it’s because Raph is absolutely right and he just wants it more. They have been cooling their heels too long, Leo has lost his edge and they do need to go home and settle the score.

The only thing missing, in my opinion, was any sort of consultation with Splinter. Not only is he their father and sensei, but it was his blood feud with the Shredder that started the whole story in the first place. Splinter was featured in very few issues from the Northampton era and we didn’t get to see enough of his reaction to his mortal enemy coming back from the grave.

Raph’s fight against the Foot Soldiers in the sewer takes up the remainder of the issue and, yes, it is very much just a decompressed action sequence that goes on and on until the book is finished. But again, it’s important to the story. It shows that even a year later, the Shredder hasn’t forgotten about the Turtles and still deploys his Foot Soldiers to patrol the sewers for them, just to make sure they don’t show their faces again. It also illustrates the odds Raph is up against now that he’s elected to return to New York solo, and that while the Foot Soldiers are cannon fodder, there’s more than enough of them to overwhelm a single Turtle.

As for Zog, well, didn’t see that one coming.

Mirage’s first volume of TMNT is a very oddly paced book, yet brilliant for being so. If you remove all the non-canon “guest” stories and pare it down to what counts, you do get a solid ongoing storyline that tells a very focused and fascinating adventure. But how it tends to go is that there’ll be a major event, then several good one-off stories, then a major event, and so on until everything comes to an epic head in “City at War”. There’s a great bit of variety, as the series offers both an overarching story with massive payoff as well as a selection of satisfying oneshot situations in-between. Most of the big “events”, though, center around the Turtles’ major altercations with the Foot Clan (TMNT #1, “What Goes around Comes Around”/"Silent Partner", “Return to New York” and “City at War”), so when the Turtles throw down with the Foot, you KNOW it’s something epic.

In my opinion, “Return to New York” is the best of their major Volume 1 Foot-centered storylines, narrowly edging out the previous two-parter that saw them exiled. It may not be as cerebral and socially aware as “City at War”, but it’s packaged in a far more palatable length and it’s just too damn cool.

Grade: A (as in, “And I’ll admit that the very first time I read this issue, I thought that was the Rat King rising from the pool on page 31”.)

TMNT Microseries #2: Michelangelo

2011-12-28T10:40:00.001-08:00

Publication date: December 28, 2011

Written by: Brian Lynch
Art by: Andy Kuhn
Colors by: Bill Crabtree
Letters by: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

It’s New Years Eve and Michelangelo is spending it watching a New Years movie marathon, learning what people do to celebrate the holiday. Mike considers going home, but knows that if he did, it would be just like any other night: Donatello would make him help fix some contraption, Leonardo would make him do training routines until he collapses and Raphael would teach him how to be more aggressive in both fighting and trash-talking. Instead, Mike decides to go searching for a party to crash.

He eventually finds one going on at the Natural History Museum and low and behold, a guy named Carl in a Godzilla suit is tossing his wristband entrance pass to the ground (citing over a cell phone call that he “can’t go through with it”). Mike scoops up the pass and waltzes into the costume party. He is immediately picked up by a shapely dame in a cat-suit, who recognizes him as “Carl” and tells him to follow her to meet with the others. Thinking he’s on his way to a VIP lounge, Mike tags along.

They meet up with a gaucho, a mime and a princess and Mike learns the truth: he borrowed the electronic pass from a thief! The thieves knock-out the security guards with gas and then proceed to a laser-secured hallway where the priceless green Dresden Diamond is being held. “Carl” is told to hack the computer and turn off the lasers. Mike (still playing along), tries to talk them out of it by badly mangling some of Donatello’s techno-jargon, explaining that the system is impenetrable. The gaucho, not wanting to disappoint the terrifying man who hired them, opts to torture a guard for the access codes. Not liking that option, Mike takes some of Leo’s training to heart and flips his way through the lasers.

Safely on the other side, Mike smashes the glass case and takes the Dresden, setting off all the alarms and (hopefully) alerting the authorities. Mike attempts to sneak away with the diamond so the villains can’t get it, but the gaucho tells him that if he scampers off, he will start shooting party guests. Mike then uses some of Raph’s trash-talk to goad the gaucho into hitting him. Mike fakes being knocked back and falls through a window. Noticing the cat-lady has vanished, too, the gaucho tells the mime and the princess to wait for him in the alley while he deals with their traitors.

On a nearby rooftop, Mike is held at gunpoint by the cat-lady, who happens to be an undercover cop. She tells “Carl” that he doesn’t truly know who he has been hired by: this new villain is sending the old crime lords of New York scurrying in fear. Mike takes her gun and reveals that he wasn’t actually planning on stealing it. He asks what made the diamond so special and the cat-lady tells him that an exposure to radiation turned it green, making it one of a kind. Suddenly, the gaucho arrives with his personal gang of thugs. Mike takes them all out with little effort and decks the gaucho with the diamond right as the clock strikes midnight.

The cat-lady introduces herself as Kara and shakes Mike’s hand. Mike reveals he’s not really “Carl” and gives her the Dresden Diamond. Mike then ninja-vanishes, considering to himself that he had a pretty good New Years Eve (though he’s going to keep his handshake with Kara a secret so as not to make his brothers jealous). In an alley, the mime and the princess are freezing their butts off, wondering where the gaucho went.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Microseries #1: Raphael. The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #6.

*This issue was originally published with 4 variant covers: Cover A by David Peterson, Cover B by Andy Kuhn and Bill Crabtree, Cover RI-A sketch variant by David Peterson and Cover RI-B by Kevin Eastman.

Review:

I’ve got to say, I really appreciate these microseries from IDW. Not only do they help speed the storyline of the ongoing series along at a more palatable pace, but they’re infusing the Turtles with more personality and traits than they’ve been getting in the main series. The first arc of TMNT was all about trying to bring them together whilst covering the fragmented origin. Save for perhaps Raphael, none of the Turtles in the ongoing have yet to really get any personality (I think THIS is the first issue to make mention of Don’s intelligence); they’re all still blank slates five issues in. These character-themed microseries give us the focus on the individuals the series desperately needs, so now the Turtles are actually interesting!

What had me curious within the first couple of pages is the reveal that the Turtles are unfamiliar with human life and rituals; that all of it seems alien to them. Mike is out learning the meaning of New Years Eve and what exactly people do for entertainment on that supposedly special night. Considering the revelation from TMNT #5, that the Turtles are reincarnated children from Feudal Japan, this total lack of understanding of modern human culture makes a certain amount of sense. They’re being played as “amnesiacs” at the moment and having to learn everything from the ground up. It’s certainly nice to see the characters grow, though I can foresee this angle getting tiresome if done in excess.

As a spotlight on Michelangelo, Lynch naturally chose to focus on his humorous “party dude” characteristics. I’ve gone over this time and again, but I’m of the opinion that Mike being the fun-loving class clown is perfectly fine, so long as it isn’t his sole defining trait; giving him no aspirations or dimensions beyond party-this, party-that can make him utterly obnoxious. Since we’re still pretty early into the game, I can understand not offering more to Mike than his goofiness in this issue. IDW’s TMNT series has been all about spoon-feeding characterization and plot to the audience one itty-bitty nibble at a time, so though Mike may be strictly a “party dude” right now, I’m hopeful that he’ll grow to have more elements to his character over time.

Be that as it may, Lynch writes a pretty fun and occasionally funny script in this issue. Mike’s inner monologue, particularly the exaggerated way he imagines his brothers, reminded me quite a bit of Tristan Jones’s Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #64. What keeps Mike’s fun-loving nature in check with this story is an underlying intelligence to the Turtle, as he rolls with the scheme of the thieves as he’s thrust into it, improvising (albeit poorly) along the way. Most of the humor in the issue comes from Mike’s sloppy attempts to “act natural”, and while the joke begins to wear thin near the end, it can be pretty funny.

Lynch also continues the narrative foreshadowing of some ominous mastermind hiding behind the curtains. Presumably it’s General Krang, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

Art-wise, I can’t say Andy Kuhn did a whole lot for me. His style is rather flat and he has this habit of giving Mike this dopey grin and squinty-eyed face that makes him look, like, well… Do you remember that episode of “South Park” where Cartman tries to sneak into the Special Olympics by impersonating a retarded kid? Remember that scene where he’s looking at himself in the mirror, trying to make the perfect “retard face”? Well, that face Kuhn repeatedly draws on Michelangelo reminds me of Cartman’s perfect “retard face” and it just takes me completely out of the story. He also has a hard time deciding how "wide" he wants Mike to be; he can look ridiculously waffle-shaped in some panels.

I think the real spotlight belongs to Bill Crabtree’s coloring, particularly in the way he bathes pages in a certain color for effect (the museum party is purple, the heist is red, the outdoors are a grey-blue, etc.). It breathes a lot of life and energy into Kuhn’s competent but occasionally crude pencils.

Michelangelo #1 is a decent story. Not great, not bad, but with very little overtly wrong with it. It introduces new readers to Mike’s personality for this series, which is important since before now he had no personality. He’s still fairly one-note but with room to grow. It’s enjoyable, just not something I think I’ll be remembering a few more months down the line.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Could have gone without the ‘I love being a Turtle’ gag, but it’s no big deal”.)

TMNT (IDW) #5

2011-12-21T11:45:00.000-08:00

Publication date: December 21, 2011

Story: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Art: Dan Duncan (New York City), Mateus Santolouco (Feudal Japan)
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

Crawling through the cold alleys of New York with a backpack full of supplies, Splinter finds Old Hob’s goons lurking around every corner. As he takes the thugs out, he is reminded of a similar story from Feudal Japan, where a man bringing a satchel of supplies to his own children also fought hunters on the prowl for him.

Down in the lair, the Turtles are busy sparring. A month has passed since they were reunited with their brother, Raphael, and he has taken to martial arts like a duck to water; almost already at the same level as his bros. The other Turtles all know the feeling, as the fifteen months they spent “learning” ninjutsu from Master Splinter actually felt more like they were “remembering” it. Raph wonders, though, when Splinter will deem him ready to carry weapons like his siblings.

Back in the alleys, Splinter takes down more goons and recalls the tale of Hamato Yoshi…

In Feudal Japan, Hamato Yoshi was a member of the Foot Clan, a league of ninja assassins. His clan brother was the scar-faced Oroku Saki, who sought to lead the clan down the dishonorable path of conquest and genocide. During a clan meeting, Saki ordered the Foot to lay waste to an entire village of innocents as part of their mission to assassinate a castle lord, just to send a message to all who would oppose them. Yoshi spoke up during this meeting, calling out Saki on his ruthlessness. Yoshi walked out of the meeting in disgust. Vengefully, Saki declared Yoshi a traitor and called for the assassination of him and his whole family.

Later, a pair of Foot Soldiers invaded Yoshi’s home while he was away, killing his wife, Tang Shen. Before they could kill his four young sons, Yoshi came home and slew his enemies. As Shen lay dying, she made Yoshi promise not to seek vengeance on Saki, but to flee with their children and keep them safe. Yoshi vowed to honor her dying wish for now, but that one day, he and his sons would have vengeance.

Back in the present, at the New York Tech hockey arena, Casey has a sit down with Coach Bowman. Bowman is sympathetic toward Casey’s academic probation, but tells him that he can’t continue to play for their school if he doesn’t bring his grades up. Casey understands and leaves, hoping to find a tutor to help him out. At a lobby on campus, April O’Neil puts an ad up on the corkboard, offering tutoring on any subject in exchange for self defense lessons. As April leaves with her friend Trish for Christmas vacation, Casey walks past her, into the lobby.

In the alleys, Splinter subdues the last of Hob’s minions and proceeds into the sewers, remembering the end of the story…

For eleven seasons, Yoshi and his sons had kept ahead of the Foot Clan, until one day, after returning to his sons with a rare gift of sweets, Saki and his forces finally found them. Binding their hands and lining them up, Saki forced Yoshi to watch as the Foot Soldiers executed each of his sons. As they died, Yoshi prayed to Buddha that he would be reunited with his children some day and that they would get their revenge on Saki. As Saki raised his own sword, Yoshi vowed that they would meet again and he would kill him. Saki then killed Yoshi, but the story doesn't end there…

Down in the sewer lair, Splinter returns home with a backpack of gifts for his sons. He tells them that in their search for Raphael, they all wore red bandanas, Raphael’s favorite color, as a reminder of their mission. But now that they have been reunited, he felt that though they are a clan, they are also individuals, and should each wear their favorite colors. He then gives Michelangelo an orange bandana, Donatello a purple bandana and Leonardo a blue bandana. As for Raph, he has a different gift: a pair of sais which he feels his son has earned the right to wield.

The Turtles feel guilty, having no gift to give their father and Sensei, though Splinter assures them that being together again is a gift in itself. Donatello asks Splinter how he knew what their favorite colors were and Splinter asks them all to sit down next the Christmas tree while he tells them a story.

Elsewhere, Casey places a rose on his mother’s grave while April, arriving home, gives her mom a big hug.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #4. The story continues in TMNT Microseries #1: Raphael.

*Though it was published after TMNT Microseries #1: Raphael, this issue takes place before it.

*This issue was originally published with three covers: Cover A by Mateus Santolouco, Cover B by Dan Duncan and Ronda Pattison and Cover RI by Kevin Eastman.

Review:

This is an issue that is going to create a lot of divide amongst fans. We have a major departure from the classic origin of the TMNT as well as the switch from their classic red Mirage bandanas to their animated multi-colored masks. If you thought fans were going at each other’s throats because of the introduction of Bebop and Rocksteady in the Raphael microseries, you haven’t seen anything yet.

Regarding the origin, it took me some time to ruminate on that. Because, wow, this was a pretty big change from the norm. Altering a classic origin is an easy way to upset readers. Just look at J. Michael Straczynski’s run on Amazing Spider-Man. Instead of being a teenager in the right place at the right time to get bitten by a radioactive arachnid, now it turns out that Spider-Man was a predestined mystical animal totem and all his powers are actually magical.

Fuck that.

But it also comes down to the execution, which can make or break any idea. And to Tom Waltz’s credit, he takes what may sound bizarre and unappealing in summary form and really makes it work on the page. Love or hate this new origin as you will, but TMNT #5 did a superb job of telling it to the audience by nicely paralleling it with a similar sequence of events occurring to Splinter in the present day and packaging it as a story within a story. Everything about the execution was good, so it’s more a discussion of the fundamentals of this new origin and whether such a radical departure from the 27 year-old story was warranted or not.

The fifteen month span of time between mutation and “ninjas with lots of personality who love each other as a family” has been a source of criticism from a lot of fans since the book started. Waltz finally reveals how such a short span of time could yield such unrealistic results by pressing the “reincarnation” button. In doing so, it’s a bit of give and take. We now have this rich back story rooted in Feudal era Japan that gives Splinter a genetic bond to his sons rather than an adoptive one. On the other side of the coin, now the Turtles never grew up as “outsiders” and so that entire concept at the core of their characters (being freaks who have had to hide themselves from humanity all their lives) is absent. In a way, they’re now “wolfmen”; by that I mean they were human all their lives and are only *now* monsters that have to hide from a world that fears them.

It’s a case of changing something that has been long established, but giving fans something completely new to digest at the same time.

Making the Turtles Splinter’s biological children is a case where I can weigh both the merits and the detractions. In the Mirage comics, the Turtles were turtles and Splinter was a rat but there was never, EVER any question between them that they were his sons and he loved them with all his heart. They never questioned whether he loved them less because they weren’t rats or whether he loved them less because they were adopted. At no point was it ever an issue in any story. There was an unspoken beauty to it, that such a thing never NEED be addressed because a father loves his sons whether they’re biological or not (and whether they’d mammalian or not, in this case). Making the Turtles his (reincarnated) biological offspring robs the dynamic of that unstated lesson, and while it doesn’t destroy anything on a foundational level, it does take that little bit away from it.

Going back to the idea that it’s all in the execution, though, the tragedy of Splinter losing his children is tremendous; their death scenes were very tastefully done and not “shock value”. There’s a great sadness in him because he’s a man who lost everything and, yeah, even if the answer as we have it now is “Buddhist magic”, there’s enough power in that sequence to make the whole thing work.

So like I said, “give and take”. We’re getting something new while losing something old. As for Splinter being Hamato Yoshi instead of his pet rat? I grew up with the Fred Wolf cartoon. I got over that shit a long time ago. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

In regards to the colored bandanas, I’m almost afraid to bring them up, as this discussion has resulted in untold eons of war and suffering. I’ll just say that I really don’t care either way; red or rainbow, it’s all the same to me. This story, though, wants to have it both ways and I think in acknowledging the two takes on the colors and trying to create an in-story explanation for the switch, they only invited more criticism than they needed. I get what they were going for, but it seemed kind of silly to even bother with it.

Art-wise, well, this was not Dan Duncan’s best work. His pencils look rushed and unfinished, particularly in regards to Hob’s goons, who at times sport an almost Picasso anatomy (look at that thug on page 5; it’s like he has a single humongous nostril in the center of his trunk-like nose). There’s also some problems with perspective, like when Splinter is going into the sewer, the manhole doesn’t look to be at the same angle that he’s entering it. He’s supposed to be gripping the edge, but it looks like he’s lifting the hole up; like there are two manhole covers or something. And Splinter’s tearful message on the second-to-last page suffers greatly because Duncan just drew one headshot and then flipped it in photoshop to cover two different panels. It’s very obvious and very lazy, considering it wasn’t even an elaborate panel, just a headshot and a completely blank background.

Santolouco’s pages, however, are fantastic and he really captures the period. There’s some silliness in design (the classic “footprint” Foot Clan logo is emblazoned on huge medallions worn by the characters and looks very incongruous with the “historic” garb of everyone else), but he really does a great job on everything, especially in giving Oroku Saki and Hamato Yoshi very unique appearances. Even in the Mirage series, I always felt they had kind of dull, bland designs. And I liked his designs for the Turtles as human kids, translating so much of their personalities into the human features; Leonardo is clearly the eldest sibling while infant Raph sports a traditional haircut making him look just like Daigorō from “Lone Wolf and Cub”, for example.

Anyhow, I’m willing to roll with this new direction even if I’m a bit apprehensive about some of it. I’ve complained in past reviews about the decompressed pacing of the series, but this was an excellent “done in one” story, proving Waltz has it in him when he feels like it. I hope to see some more stories in a similar vein, or at least as breaks between the longer arcs. Again, in summary form, it might sound very off-putting, but Waltz makes it work. Well, for now, at least. I can’t say I’m not intrigued to see where all this is going and things certainly do feel fresh and exciting. There’s really no predicting where this book is going to go and I find that thrilling.

Grade: B (as in, “But let’s just ignore the fact that Tang Shen was Chinese and in Feudal era Japan the Chinese were not… um… popular”.)

TMNT Adventures #52

2011-12-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Publication date: January, 1994

MAIN STORY:

Story/edits: Dean Clarrain
Pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Jon D’Agostino
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Jeweler: V. Gorelick

“Shattered”

BACK-UP STORY:

Script: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Art: Jim Lawson and Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

“Megadeath, Five of Seven”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

At the Internal Affairs office, cameraman Squint is showing his boss, journalist MacIntyre, the footage he secretly took of April and Oyuki sneaking into the sewers. MacIntyre knows April is in league with the mutated turtles and is certain that if he follows her, he’ll get his story.

Down in the sewers, April and Oyuki are telling Don and Raph about their latest story regarding a series of bank and jewelry store robberies. They figured the thieves might have been using the sewer tunnels for escape and decided to snoop around. Subsequently, they stumbled upon a giant pulsating glob of green tissue that looks like an Organ. Don and Raph check the weird thing out, finding crystallized rats scattered all over the place.

Elsewhere, McIntyre and Squint are lost in the sewers. Happening upon the remains of a partially exploded tunnel, they find Scumbug, covered in tiny Wyrms and barely clinging to life. Wyrm had spent the last few years slowly sucking Scumbug dry to keep himself alive. But now that fresh meat has presented itself, Wyrm reforms to his full size and urges the equally hungry Scumbug to join him in the feast. MacIntyre and Squint make a break for it.

Back at the pile of goo, Don discovers that it’s filled with gold bars and jewels from the recent robberies. Oyuki, meanwhile, discovers the resident of the slimeball; an alien thief/ugly spider-guy named Toxzeem. Toxzeem had planned on looting the Earth before its inevitable destruction and threatens “crystal death” to anyone who would get in his way. The Turtles take on Toxzeem and the fight leads them to a side tunnel, where they bump into the fleeing MacIntyre and Squint.

Scumbug and Wyrm, meanwhile, bump into Toxzeem and decide to eat him, instead. Toxzeem isn’t intimidated and blasts them with his crystal death gun, turning the monsters into inanimate crystal statues. Raph destroys the gun with his sai, forcing Toxzeem to beat a hasty retreat back to his ship (that pile of goo). As the ship takes off, Don and Raph survive the blast of rocket heat by retracting into their shells and submerging in the sewer water.

Alive but irritated, Raph grabs Squint’s camera and smashes it over his head. Don is just as angry with MacIntyre (if less violent about it), telling the douchebag that he’s in over his head and should forget he ever saw the Turtles. Don, Raph, April and Oyuki then storm off. Macintyre figures he might be able to salvage something from the story with the crystal monster statues, only to have them shatter the moment he touches them.

BACK-UP STORY:

Inside the volcano base, the Mutanimals have gotten their second wind and are wiping the floor with the villains. Heroic victory seems assured, but Dead-Eye disagrees. He proclaims that the Mutanimals’ defeat is preordained and the victory of the Gang is historically assured.

Using his vertigo ray, Dead-Eye incapacitates the Mutanimals. Then, claiming that they have done what they set out to do, Dead-Eye transforms his motorcycle into a hovercraft and the other three members of the Gang pile on.

As the badguys escape, Future-Don tells Future-Raph that things are seriously messed up. The Gang wasn’t supposed to attack the Mutanimals for another two months. Someone is messing with the timeline.

And elsewhere, someone is watching them through a monitor, laughing to themselves…

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #51. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #53.

*Scumbug and Wyrm last appeared in TMNT Adventures #10.

*Scumbug and Wyrm were originally planned to return in the third part of “The Forever War” (originally intended to be TMNT Adventures #73) but editorial and creative conflicts led to the cancellation of that storyline and the cancellation of TMNT Adventures altogether.

*Toxzeem was a character originally created for the unproduced Mighty Mutanimals cartoon.

*The Merdude miniseries takes place between this chapter of "Megadeath" and the next, acting as an interlude.

*This story bore the dedication, “To Ryan Brown and the shattered days of old”.

Review:

I mentioned before that TMNT Adventures #10 was the first issue of the series I ever bought, so I happen to disproportionately love that issue and the two monstrous villains it introduced. As you can guess, this sequel hit a nostalgic cord with me despite being pretty damn shallow and rushed.

As you may or may not be noticing by now, Murphy (Clarrain) is killing time in-between the “Black Hole Trilogy” and the “Terracide” arc so as to let the “Megadeath” back-up finish. To fill the four issue gap, he’s basically taking us all on a nostalgic tour of the earlier issues in the series, reviving characters we all thought we’d never see again. Last issue gave us the Chameleon, the upcoming “Animus War” two-parter will bring back Katmandu and Al-Falqua, but this issue is my favorite in what you could call the “nostalgia arc” because… well… Scumbug and Wyrm.

“Shattered” continues the MacIntyre subplot begun before the “Black Hole Trilogy” and offers some cryptic foreshadowing of a grim event that may destroy the Earth, but mostly it’s just a mad rush to bring Scumbug and Wyrm back from the dead so they can fight a boring alien thief that looks like a spider.

And I love it. Chris Allan just rocks this issue and the sideways splash on page 17 is beautiful. Barry Grossman turns in some of his best coloring, too.

On another note, TMNT Adventures’ design for Scumbug is awesome and it’s always such a disappointment to see how he turned out looking in the Playmates toyline and Fred Wolf cartoon. Likewise with Wyrm, who has a much goofier (and bluer) appearance in the Playmates line than he does in this comic (well, the mini-Wyrms are actually kinda funny-looking). Toxzeem, meanwhile, has a sweet character design while otherwise lacking anything approaching actual “character”. He’s a thief from space who uses a crystal ray gun and… yeah, that’s about it.

The dedication at the end of the issue is rather sweet, reinforcing that this and the previous issue were meant as throwbacks to the days when Ryan Brown’s hand was more strongly felt in the book. I’ve said before that I really like the initial (original) arc of TMNT Adventures, where it was just one Playmates action figure introduction after another, and forty issues later I am starting to miss those days a bit. So it was definitely some good timing on Murphy’s part to bring elements from those early adventures back when he did.

As for “Megadeath”… there’s really so little to say about it at this point. Once it gets to the end, then I’ll have a mouthful to spew out. As of right now, it’s just plodding along.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Can’t imagine how Wyrm knew Scumbug’s officially licensed action figure name, but that’s not important”.)

TMNT Adventures #51

2011-12-14T10:45:00.001-08:00

Publication date: December, 1993

MAIN STORY:

Plot: Steve Lavigne, Chris Allan, Dean Clarrain
Script/edits: Dean Clarrain
Pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Jon D’Agostino
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Stretchmarks: V. Gorelick

“Chameleons are Forever”

BACK-UP STORY:

Script: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Art: Jim Lawson and Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

“Megadeath, Four of Seven”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

Tel Aviv, Israel. A quartet of thieves are hiding out in a hotel room, discussing their next heist, when one of them hears a noise behind the door. He swings it open to find a cleaning lady listening in on their conversation. Before they can do her in, the cleaning lady’s cart transforms into the Chameleon! Chameleon grabs the cleaning lady (actually his partner, Val) and they escape through the window. Later, at their hotel room, Chameleon tries to profess his love to Val, but she’s not interested. Besides, they’re being paid to thwart the thieves and they need to get to New York to do it. Now moping, Chameleon considers quitting the job altogether, until he sees McIntyre’s report on the mysterious mutant turtles on Inside Affair. Knowing that the Turtles are in cahoots with the Shredder (the one who turned him into a mutant), Chameleon resolves to go to New York and get some answers.

At the Internal Affairs studio, McIntyre is bickering with his laidback cameraman, Squint. McIntyre is upset that the biggest story of the year, the Turtles, have apparently vanished off the face of the Earth. He knows April is somehow connected with them and demands she be followed. After everyone leaves the studio, one of the cameras transforms into the Chameleon. Chameleon calls Val, telling her to bug April’s phone. Val is reluctant, as they have a job to do, but Chameleon persuades her to do him a solid.

At April’s apartment, Oyuki is sneaking a smoke when Michaelangelo calls. The Turtles have just returned from Dimension X and they want to hang. Sadly, April and Oyuki are covering a story and can’t get together. Meanwhile, Splinter thinks something may be wrong with Donatello, who seems melancholy after his latest adventure.

As Chameleon spies on the thieves in their New York digs (learning they plan to loot a museum), he gets the news from Val, tracing the call to the sewers. Down in the lair, an evening of Rock em Sock em Robots is interrupted by April running by the entrance, cryptically beckoning the Turtles to follow. Hesitant at the weirdness of her behavior, the Turtles shadow her through the sewers, to the roof of a nearby museum and then down through the skylight, into an exhibition hall.

An Egyptian statue proceeds to transform into the Chameleon, who captures Mike in his stomach. Mike frees himself with a blow to the gut and Don ties the Chameleon to a pillar. The Chameleon says he knows the Turtles are agents of the Shredder and demands they tell him if the mutagen that turned them all from humans to freaks is permanent. Leo responds in the following order: No, they do not work for the Shredder. No, they were not humans that turned into turtles, but turtles that became anthropomorphic. And yes, the mutagen is permanent.

Chameleon is disappointed at the answer (and his poor intel), so he stops playing possum and sends four large pile-drivers out of his shoulders, knocking the Turtles unconscious. Remembering his job, he leaves to deal with the thieves. Raph eventually wakes up and finds his brothers standing before a smashed display case, where they presume the Chameleon stole a statue. As sirens begin to blare, the Turtles opt to flee before they get blamed for the heist.

Outside, the thieves abscond with the artifact, not noticing the googly-eyes embedded in the “crate” they’re carrying it in. Thinking, the Chameleon resigns himself to his mutant fate.

BACK-UP STORY:

As the Mutanimals and Future-Raph and Future-Don lay stunned in the pool of water, Dead-Eye urges Lynch to hurry up and electrocute them with the live wire he’s clutching. Lynch is about to do the deed when the tiniest Mutanimal, Screwloose, pops out of his hiding place (having avoided the tidal wave). Screwloose stabs Lynch in the neck with his proboscis, then grabs the live wire and shocks him.

Man Ray comes to next and uppercuts Fist. The rest of the Mutanimals and the Future Turtles get their bearings and continue the brawl. Future-Raph begins grappling with Waster, who extends his robotic tongue toward the Turtle’s eye-patch, intent on eating his brain. Raph isn’t about to let that happen and snatches the tongue, giving it a good yank.

Meanwhile, Leatherhead and Fist test their muscle, ramming headfirst into each other.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #50. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #52.

*Codename: Chameleon previously appeared in TMNT Adventures #9.

*McIntyre and Squint last appeared, and caught the Turtles on camera, in TMNT Adventures #47.

Review:

Hey! It’s that guy from forty-two issues ago! They remembered he existed! Woo!

Codename: Chameleon wasn’t exactly one of my favorite characters from the initial arc of TMNT Adventures and I don’t think he really struck a chord with the readers or the creative team, either, considering his extended absence from the book. Regardless of that, he fills out a nice breather issue between grand arcs in TMNT Adventures and the story’s decent for what it is.

Chameleon has been “upgraded”, I suppose you could call it. Instead of just “blending in” by turning invisible, he can now shapeshift like Clayface from Batman. I didn’t mind this alteration so much, as when we last saw him he was just getting used to his new powers, now a few years have passed and he seems to have found the greater extent of his abilities. It makes just enough sense not to really matter, anyway.

What I didn’t care for was Chris Allan’s redesign. He’s now a hulking muscle-bound brute as opposed to the lithe and slippery character from his initial appearance. He’s even lost his tail. And without any clothes, he just looks too generic, now. I rather liked the trenchcoat and fedora ensemble that he wore on the cover of TMNT Adventures #9 and wish that had been retained for his overall design. Now, instead of looking like a sneaky spy, he looks like a refugee from Eternia.

But there are still lots of fun nuances that Murphy (Clarrain) and Allan throw in, which make their issues so much fun. The scene where Chameleon is pouting in front of the TV and ignoring Val’s chatter by making hand-puppets is really amusing, and of course the overall energy in Allan’s pencils go without saying. Gotta give colorist Barry Grossman some credit, too. Though it’s easy to miss, he did a great job making the sewers look all slimy and gross on page 15 by splattering all the white blotches everywhere. A time-consuming bit of coloration for something so small, but it makes a difference in the details.

“Chameleons are Forever” isn’t really a memorable story, but it’s a very fun and light way of giving the cast a breather between major arcs while still moving subplots along (namely, McIntyre).

As for the Mutanimals back-up, the story is still as dull as a sack of hammers, but the art has taken a major upswing now that Eric Talbot has come to lend Jim Lawson a hand. The backgrounds are still a mass of empty white space, but the action is definitely more intense. Not enough of a change to make this back-up, well… good, but it helps a little.

Grade: C (as in, “Chameleons are made of pudding? I never knew this”.)

I added those little buttons at the bottom!

2011-12-13T20:31:00.000-08:00

So yeah.

Apparantly I could've done this years ago but I'm an idiot.

So if you like an article you see here on TMNT Entity, by all means, please share it on Facebook or Twitter or Google +1 it or whatever the Hell those little things do. They're at the bottom of each article.

I appreciate all the page hits I can get!

Thanks!

TMNT (Vol. 1) #14

2011-12-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

Publication date: February, 1988

Story and pencils: Kevin Eastman
Inks: Eric Talbot
Letters: Steve Lavigne

“The Unmentionables”

Summary:

On the snowy streets of Northampton, Casey has taken to playing “old fashioned gumshoe” and is prowling the empty streets looking for a “case”. While reminiscing about playing in the streets with his cousin Sid during his youth, Casey makes a shocking discovery: the giant brass cow decorating the top of Louie’s Variety has been stolen! Casey spends all of the next day and night searching for clues and returns to the farm the following morning, nearly frozen to death. April leaves Casey in the care of the Turtles, as she needs to get to her job at the diner before she’s fired.

While at the diner, April hears two shady-looking patrons discussing a “cow” in a hushed tone, followed by mentions of a “boss” and room 213 at the Hotel Northampton. April calls Casey up to give him the scoop (unaware that her suspects overhear her phone call). Casey rushes to the hotel and is summarily thrown out. April meets up with Casey there and decides to do some snooping of her own for the sheer fun of it. In the lobby, she spots one of the suspects (a man named Howard) taking orders from a Texan named Cudworth. There’s to be a party at the hotel that night celebrating Cudworth’s daughter’s graduation; just the in April and Casey needed.

That night, April and Casey arrive at the hotel in their finest outfits, with the reluctant Turtles in tow. While they mingle in the party, the Turtles are to break into room 213 and search for clues. The Turtles break in and find a box full of photos, all of Cudworth, Howard, the cow and the store. The weird thing is, they’re actually in room 215! Down at the part, April gets separated from Casey and finds herself being pursued into an empty hallway by Howard (recognizing her from the diner). She bumps into the three Smengie Bros (Mikal, Luka and… Luka), who are acting as goons for Cudworth and Howard. Cudworth pays the Smengies the $10 million in exchange for the stolen cow, while Howard tells them to keep April detained but not to harm her under any circumstance. The Turtles spot the Smengies making off in their van with April and give chase in Casey’s old pickup truck.

In the men’s room, Casey is hiding out in a stall, waiting to overhear a lead. Two locals come walking in, discussing a hot tip about the local fair, namely the sure winner of the best cow competition. Misinterpreting the discussion, Casey hails a cab to take him to the farm on Route 116.

At the Smengie Bros auto garage, the goons have April tied up alongside the purloined brass bovine (draped in a tarp). The Turtles break in and subdue the Smengies. They quickly elicit a confession: the brass cow is actually made from gold. When escaping the war-torn nation of Slavakia, their brother Louie stole the golden cow and disguised it as a fixture on the roof of his shop. Cudworth hired them to steal the cow, though they had planned to double-cross him and take it back to Slavakia with their $10 million payday. Knowing they need more evidence to pin the theft on Cudworth, Leo concocts a plan. Calling Cudworth at the hotel, Leo (pretending to be a Smengie) demands an additional $5 million for the cow, knowing it will lure Cudworth to the garage where they can tape record some incriminating dialogue.

Meanwhile, at the farm on Route 116, Casey realizes he’s on the trail of an actual cow and orders the (irritated) cabby to take him back to the hotel.

Back at the garage, the Turtles are disguised as the Smengies, holding unloaded guns and awaiting Cudworth. Cudworth, Howard and some additional goons show up, none too pleased. Cudworth demands a look at the golden cow, but when the Turtles remove the tarp, they find it to be a cow-shaped decoy made of rocks. The Smengies, having freed themselves, then burst through the garage door with the real cow loaded into the back of their truck. Cudworth and the Turtles each give chase in their vehicles.

As it so happens, the Smengies pass Casey’s cab. Ordering the cabby to drive up close to the truck, Casey leaps onto the roof and scares the Smengies into crashing. Cudworth arrives at the crash-site, ready to claim his golden prize, when Howard reveals himself to be an FBI agent. He’d been undercover, following Cudworth for some time. Howard calls in his reinforcements and Cudworth surrenders. Seeing the hullabaloo, April ditches the Turtles on the side of the road, then proceeds into the chaos to collect Casey. Howard demands an explanation from both her and Casey.

After a loooooong story, Howard decides to let them off the hook for nearly ruining a two year-long FBI investigation and agrees to file the case under “unmentionables”… provided they never, EVER play detective again. Overhearing the discussion, the Turtles laugh at their status as “unmentionables”.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #17. The story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #19.

*Due to the winter setting, this story must chronologically come last in the “Exile to Northampton” era.

*Casey was shown fantasizing about being an old school detective in the story, “Casey Jones, Private Eye”.

*Casey mentions playing with Cousin Sid on Centre St. as a kid. Cousin Sid appeared (as an adult) in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #1.

*CHET ALERT: Casey tells the clerk at Hotel Northampton he works for “Chet’s Note Delivery Service”. The name Chet was an Easter egg slipped into several issues by the Mirage staff because… they just liked that name!

*This issue was (very) loosely adapted by the 4Kids animated series into the episode “The Golden Puck”.

*This issue also featured a 2-page preview for “Melting Pot” and a 1-page comic, “Buy TMNT 16 or we Die” by Mark Martin.

Review:

You see, now stories like this are what make Casey so endearing.

Casey isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and he screws up a lot, but he always makes good in the end and when push comes to shove, he’s competent-enough, skilled-enough and gutsy-enough to save the day. Much of the 4Kids series, when it came to Casey, seemed like it was using “The Unmentionables” as a blueprint for how to treat him, but focusing on his dimwitted blundering to the point of missing all those stronger points I just listed. “The Unmentionables” is not only an awesome Casey-centric story, but also one of the extremely rare times in the Mirage comics where April proves to be a really fun, enjoyable character.

So far as Casey’s portrayal goes, by this point in the series we hadn’t gotten to see much of him beyond his anger management issues; just the violent jock that loves pounding heads. “The Unmentionables” rounds him out with a much more humorous angle, which some might interpret as “watering down”, but I found it succeeded in making him more multi-dimensional and likable. We get a peek at some of Casey’s history (referencing Cousin Sid from Tales of the TMNT) as well as a glimpse at his own personal fantasies and how, in his goofiness, he literally tries to act out on them (regardless of his qualifications). I think the short story “Casey Jones, Private Eye” should be taken as a mandatory prologue to this issue, as it helps establish the seemingly random “cheesy gumshoe” persona Casey takes on in the opening pages and the two stories flow into one another really well.

As for April, I really like how she was portrayed in this story. Too often, she has to be the dull “den mother” character in the Mirage comics and can never do or say anything interesting. Eastman really turns that idea on its head with this issue. She starts out that way, flipping out because she’s going to be late for work and that she has to put food on the table for everyone because all the men in the house are jobless bums, etc. But as the story moves along, she really starts to get caught up in Casey’s whole detective fantasy and begins actively helping him search for clues and chase after the badguys, sincerely loving it every step of the way. This is a great issue for developing April and Casey’s romance and illustrates that she has an attraction to him beyond just the boring old “he’s a bad boy *swoon*” shtick. Casey may be an unpredictable screw-up with weird delusions about himself and his limitations… but damn if he isn’t a whole lot of fun to be around.

The Turtles pretty much take a backseat to the entire story, and I’m perfectly okay with that. Casey and April are as much a primary part of the cast as the TMNT are and they deserve their fair share of leading roles. Be that as it may, the Turtles play some amusing parts in this issue. Whereas April begins to get caught up in Casey’s adventure, the Turtles play the voice of reason throughout the tale; first brushing off Casey’s suspicions, then being reluctant to break into a hotel room, then wondering how they got caught up in the whole drama when things start to go south. In a bizarre turn of events, it’s the plain ole humans who turn out to be the craziest characters in the story, while the karate-chopping anthropomorphic reptiles take on the boring roles.

Above all else, “The Unmentionables” is just really, really fun. It’s definitely meant to be a comedy and a lot of the jokes are genuinely funny. I love Casey’s opening monologue, as he tries to wax on in a film noir-style of outdated detective lingo but can’t quite get it right. Eastman is firing on all cylinders with the art and man does he nail the expressions. The look on frozen Casey’s face (pictured above) is pure gold. And I absolutely love this:

If there’s anything that detracts from “The Unmentionables” I guess it would have to be all the spelling and grammatical errors. Holy cow, there are a LOT of them. Also, it seems to have been published out of narrative sequence, as it takes place in the dead of winter whereas the surrounding stories do not. My guess in regards to why that happened would be that, during this era of Mirage’s TMNT comic, each issue was being completed individually by the writers and artists rather than collaboratively like in the past. So several stories were being worked on at the same time and some being completed faster than others. In one case, TMNT #15 was actually published after TMNT #16! I take it that TMNT #14 was intended to take place later chronologically, but just happened to be ready before other issues and was thus published first.

Whatever the case, “The Unmentionables” is my favorite issue in the “Exile to Northampton” era of the series (well, not counting the Tales issues that retroactively fit in there). It’s fast, furious and a whole lot of fun.

Grade: A (as in, “Although holy SHIT did 4Kids butcher the Hell out of this story”.)

TMNT Microseries #1: Raphael

2011-12-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Publication date: December 7, 2011

Written by: Brian Lynch
Art by: Franco Urru
Colors by: Fabio Mantovani
Letters by: Chris Mowry
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

Another night in New York City and Raph has passed up an opportunity to go on patrol with his (recently reunited) brothers to spend the evening busting heads with Casey. Casey wants to know what it’s like to finally have the family he never knew he had, but Raph is reluctant to talk about it. Suddenly, the pair spot a figure being chased by two punks (one with a purple Mohawk, the other in army camos). They take down the punks and rescue their prey: a female mutant arctic fox named Alopex.

Alopex doesn’t remember much; just that she was taken from the wild and to a lab by several humans, who experimented on her. She escaped, but the lab dispatched several groups to reclaim her; the punks only being the latest batch. Raph isn’t interested in swapping origin stories, but is willing to take her back to the lair to meet his brothers and Splinter, who might be able to help her cope with her predicament… just so long as she goes blindfolded. Leaving Casey behind to call the police and pick up the punks, Raph takes off with Alopex.

Racing across the rooftops, Raph considers Alopex’s story and how it doesn’t quite hang together; namely, the moves she was displaying while fighting off the punks were too professional-looking for a recently mutated and “innocent” fox-girl. Raph summarily hurls her off a rooftop.

Alopex extends her claws and digs into the side of the building, breaking her fall, as Raph leaps down after her. The jig being up, Alopex reveals her “true” personality as a much colder, more calculating mercenary. She had planned on tricking Raph into revealing the location of the Turtles’ lair, but with that not panning out, she exits the fight with a smoke bomb.

After a while, Raph makes sure he’s no longer being followed and reconvenes with his brothers. Don checks his wounds while Mike lightens the mood with some jokes. Leo, however, immediately calculates a strategy; they will go on patrol in pairs from now on and randomize their rounds so as to make predicting their movements impossible. Raph later disobeys Leo’s orders and meets up with Casey. Apparently, even though he called the cops, the punks were hauled away by phony police officers to parts unknown. Raph tells Casey the new strategy and Casey, understanding, is ready to bid Raph farewell forever. Raph tells him to lighten up, as he’s part of their family now and he’s as deep in the drama as they are.

Elsewhere, Alopex is blowing off steam against a punching bag while being berated by her two partners in crime: the punks. Not thrilled with playing the parts of dumb goons, they both feel they’d be able to take the Turtles down on their own if only they had enhanced mutant abilities like her. A commanding, scar-faced ninja enters the room and orders them all to be silent. He tells them that they will be changed when the master orders it. Brandishing his sword, he casts a familiar, spiky shadow across the wall…

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #5. The story continues in TMNT Microseries: Michelangelo #1.

*Though it takes place after TMNT #5, it was published a month before that issue. A note from editor Bobby Curnow on the inside cover assures readers that it can be enjoyed independently of the ongoing narrative of the main series.

*Raph was reunited with his brothers in TMNT (IDW) #4.

*The scarred ninja previously appeared (in a flashback) in TMNT (IDW) #2.

*This issue was originally published with five variant covers: Cover A by David Peterson, Cover B by Franco Urru and Fabio Mantovani, Cover RI-A David Peterson sketch version, Cover RI-B classic Kevin Eastman Raphael (microseries) #1 version, and Jetpack Comics exclusive by Peter Laird.

Review:

I’ve got a lot of words to eat, so I’d better go get some ketchup.

While the pacing of the ongoing TMNT series isn’t exactly to my taste, I have been rather hard on Tom Waltz and the title for dragging its feet. However, I can see now that IDW has had this approach calculated in advance, with these narrative Microseries one-shots (and the upcoming two-part Infestation miniseries) intended to offer brisker, faster paced stories to break-up the slow burn of the ongoing. With the Microseries supplementing it, I think it’s easier to appreciate the ongoing series as it is no longer the sole source of TMNT fiction from IDW and these additional monthly titles will help move aspects of the plot forward at a swifter pace.

Brian Lynch pens a thoroughly satisfying tale reminiscent in ways of the original Raphael (microseries) #1; at least in so far as the spotlight follows Casey and Raph as they patrol the streets of New York and engage in running battles (I found the unaltered recycling of the classic cover as a variant to be pretty hilarious). What impressed me most about the story was that it played with my own expectations and naïveté; I just presumed that this female fox-mutant was going to immediately hook up with Raph because of my experiences reading TMNT Adventures. I scoffed at a lot of Alopex’s dialogue for sounding like clunky fangirl fanfiction; “You’re not here… to hurt me?” and “You’re the first living thing I’ve met that wasn’t trying to eat or hurt me.” Yuck.

Of course, the dialogue was insipid and gag-inducing for a reason; as it was intentionally insincere. I probably should have seen Alopex’s betrayal coming, but again, I let me comfort with previous TMNT stories get the better of me; so what I thought was starting out to be a really dumb, wretched story turned out to be something very exciting.

In regards to Bebop and Rocksteady: I say unto thee, “Fuck YEAH.”

When they first appeared in the issue, I took them to be just “Easter Egg” cameos; Franco Urru using their human forms for a throwaway joke and nothing else. By the end of the story, we find out that they're genuine characters with a big future in store and duuuuude I am PSYCHED. I’ve stated before that I believe there are no bad characters, only bad writers. Bebop and Rocksteady may have had the misfortune of being annoying comedy relief villains from a children’s cartoon show, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have the potential to be re-imagined as genuine threats while still retaining their humorous and dim-witted qualities (so they still FEEL like Bebop and Rocksteady). Lynch seems to have that down in this issue, as the characters display very violent attitudes whilst otherwise being called idiots and cretins by their cohorts, illustrating they aren’t considered the smartest guys on the planet.

Then, of course, you’ve got the scar-faced ninja from TMNT #2 making his comeback. It had been presumed for a while that he would turn out to be the Shredder, as the scene where rat-Splinter scars his face was reminiscent of a similar scene from “TMNT: The Movie”, but it seems he isn’t quite there yet (he refers to a “master”, so he may be reporting to a higher authority for now). I’m looking forward to seeing how he’s built up, and also looking forward to seeing how a competent and non-comedic Shredder/Oroku Saki deals with the likes of Bebop and Rocksteady.

As for the idea of Alopex and there being lots of other mutants running around; I’ve never had any issues with it. Again, I’ve enjoyed Archie’s TMNT Adventures series and there were always plenty of mutant animals in that book. I didn’t feel they made the Turtles seem any less “special”. I mean, Superman doesn’t feel less “special” just because there are a bunch of other superheroes populating the DC universe, now does he? He’s still Superman. And the Turtles are still the Turtles no matter what other mutant critters show up. If anything, it makes a logical sort of sense that some villain with access to mutagen would actively create scores of powerful anthropomorphic underlings rather than stopping at one or two. And since some of my favorite characters are mutant animals, I say bring em on.

Franco Urru’s art and Fabio Mantovani’s colors are gorgeous and I really, really love the visual style of this issue. Raph isn’t as expressive as Dan Duncan’s take on the designs, but there’s a superb sense of action and staging going on here. Mantovani’s colors really make the whole package, though; his is a New York City that actually glows at night and he does such an awesome job rendering the effect of bluish street lights reflecting off Raph’s skin and shell.

To repeat myself, I think the pace of the ongoing is easier to take now that there’s another series to help move things along. The idea that we’ll be getting supplementing “in-between” chapters to help tide us over suits me and the hint at all the classic characters that are lined up for comebacks has me giddy. This was some good stuff.

Grade: A (as in, “And Bebop’s human design has gone entirely unchanged in 25 years, save that now he’s wearing Kanye glasses”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #4

2011-12-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Publication date: January, 1988

Story, pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Ryan Brown
Letters: Steve Lavigne

“I, Monster”

Summary:

Frontispiece: A Turtle (presumably Donatello) stands in a laboratory, operating on the monster of Frankenstein. The Turtle ponders whether monsters are merely figments of overactive imaginations or tangible creatures. With that in mind, he has a story to tell you…

A deformed man wrapped in bandages and rags rises from a swamp, pontificating on his own monstrous appearance. He decides that it is getting too cold to stay in the bog, so he heads toward a neighboring abandoned, ruined factory to prowl the corridors. As a monster, he knows that everything fears him. Everything except the thousands of rats that infest the ruins, that is.

Outside the perimeter of the factory, the Turtles and Casey have decided to investigate the place for kicks, hearing stories that it may be haunted. Their noisy arrival awakens the monster, who sees the Turtles as other monsters competing for his property. In his lunacy, he decides to make sure they fail.

As Mike wanders off alone, the monster whacks him over the back of the head with a pipe, then drags the unconscious Turtle to a secluded room and straps him to a table. After screaming and ranting at Mike like a madman, the monster decides to leave him to the mercies of the rats. As he leaves, the monster considers that he’d never killed anyone before and that he is finally transcending from a man playing a monster to the real thing. Meanwhile, Mike sees hundreds of rats pouring through the wall toward him. Using all his strength, Mike breaks the straps on the table and frees himself, though the rats overwhelm him by sheer numbers.

Luckily, his brothers and Casey arrive in time to ward the rodents off and they all go chasing after the monster. The monster leads them into a roofless, circular old brick building and, from the safety of the top ledge of the wall, slams and locks the doors shut behind them. The monster announces that he’d been leaving dead and dying animals in this room to feed the rats in a fruitless effort to befriend them. The Turtles and Casey are their next meal. Thousands of rats begin pouring in, but no matter how many they kill, the vermin just keep coming. Mikey finally has enough and smashes through the old brick wall Kool-Aid Man-style, allowing the others to follow him to safety.

Leo immediately hurls a shuriken at the monster, planting the throwing star directly in his chest. The monster falls from the considerable height of the ledge and into the circular building, where the rats below can be heard swarming him. Mike considers going in after him, but Don assures him that there’s nothing more that they can do. As the sun finally sets, the Turtles and Casey leave.

Inside the building, the monster sits sullenly, surrounded by several friendly rats. He repeats to himself that he is the Rat King and that everything fears him. Everything except the rats, that is.

Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place during the time the Turtles spent exiled to Northampton, before TMNT (Vol. 1) #19.

*The Rat King’s Origin will be explored in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #35.

*Casey’s love of spray paint art was previously established in “Fun With Guns”.

*The Rat King will return in TMNT (Vol. 1) #55.

*For the Tales of the TMNT Original Vol. 1 Series Treasury Edition trade paperback collection (whew!), the original frontispiece was swapped out with a new one by Jim Lawson, tying into a larger story arc going through all the new frontispieces created for that collection.

*This issue was adapted for the 4Kids animated series into the episode, “I, Monster”.

*This issue also contained a pin-up page by Butch Adams.

Review:

This is by far one of my favorite Turtle comics and comes so close to taking the cake as my all-time pick, too. It’s just such an incredibly well-crafted, well-paced and well-written horror story, with a mysterious villain, an eerie setting and lots of gruesome imagery. This is Jim Lawson and Ryan Brown at their absolute best.

The story is told almost completely from the point of view of the Rat King and you get lost in his mania as the story progresses. For a guy with no origin, you’d think he’d be a rather shallow enemy, but the inner monologue that he provides actually fleshes him out to a fascinating extent. The dude’s just plain crazy and thinks that he’s a monster. Well, for the moment, anyway. Previously, he thought he was a ghost, but decided that was old hat and changed his persona. He isn’t an “actual” monster, but a guy dressed up in bandages and rags who thinks he is, and in a way, that makes him a “real” monster. He even considers this when he’s about to kill Mike; that murder is what is necessary for him to make that leap. And yet, despite following him and getting into his head as the main character of the story, the Rat King doesn’t cease to be frightening, thanks in large part to Lawson’s really freaky design for the character and Brown’s ferocious inking.

The ending of this issue is wonderfully complimented by the Rat King’s next appearance during “City at War”, where we find out that he didn’t survive the fall. It gives that final splash page this spectral quality, as it may very well be the Rat King’s ghost sitting on the floor of the room, surrounded by Rats. In life, he could never befriend them no matter how hard he tried, but in death he succeeded. The Rat King’s subsequent appearances, as a mysterious spirit guide to Splinter would make him one of the most fascinating and eerie returning characters in the Mirage comic, enhanced by the fact that he was utilized very sparingly.

Of course, an ill-conceived origin was created for him in the second volume of Tales of the TMNT which I absolutely do not care for. I’ll save my thoughts for that review, but the fact of the matter is, the mysterious and unknown quality of the Rat King is what makes him so disturbing and attractive at the same time. You can come up with a million different origins for this guy in your head and any one of them will do; a concrete back story robs him of his mystique. Personally, I choose to ignore that issue of Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2).

I’ve said before that the first volume of Tales of the TMNT is my absolute favorite era of Jim Lawson’s work. His style is more rounded-off and detailed and the inks and tones from Ryan Brown really give it an edge. This issue, especially, showcases how good Lawson is at drawing gritty, dilapidated architecture. The entire maze-like factory is just this wonderfully horrible setting; like the labyrinth of the Minotaur. I absolutely love it. Ryan Brown’s editorial intro to the issue features a rather descriptive anecdote about his time in Cleveland and what inspired the factory setting of this story, and the guy paints a rather spooky picture.

The only real problem with this story is the lettering by Steve Lavigne. The dude messes up a LOT of speech bubbles. On page 6, Don’s lines are attributed to Raph (and they sound really out of character coming from him), Mike responds to his own observation on page 9, and I’d like to think that Raph’s line on page 23, “This smells of a trap”, was meant for Leo, because that just doesn’t sound like something Raph would say. The lettering errors are unfortunate, as they bring what would otherwise be a totally flawless issue down a hair of a peg.

But even considering those errors, this is still my favorite issue of Tales of the TMNT and one of my favorite Turtle comics period. The 4Kids cartoon’s adaptation was really damn good, too, and I would recommend it to anyone. It changed a lot of things, chief among them the nature of the Rat King. And yet, despite my earlier criticisms, I thought the origin they gave him in the cartoon actually fit well with their adaptation of this story and the show's ongoing narrative, so it didn’t bug me so much. Whatever version you go with, this is one of the best TMNT stories ever told.

Grade: A+ (as in, “All except for Don shouting ‘yabba dabba doo’, anyway”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #38

2011-12-03T14:23:00.000-08:00

Publication date: September, 2007

Plot: Ryan Brown, Dario Brizuela, Stephen Murphy
Script: Stephen Murphy
Art: Dario Brizuela
Letters: Eric Talbot
Frontispiece: Ross Campbell

“Triptyche”

Summary:

Frontispiece: While playing chess against a pouty teenage Shadow, a smug Donatello considers schemas; the mental devices people use to interpret and catalog their perceptions of the world. Yep, that’s the kind of stuff he likes to think about, which reminds him of a story…

The future. In his training chamber, an elderly Leonardo inspects his childhood bokken (wooden practice swords used in martial arts) and recalls the many memories attached to them. As memories of his long gone Sensei, Splinter, flood his mind, Leo sits down to meditate.

It’s the distant past and the Turtles are all still young children, training in the Crane Style with Splinter. Their lesson complete, they get permission from Splinter to go play pirate in the sewers (with Splinter leaving Leo in charge). Out in the tunnels, they reach the edge of their “safety zone” where they’re not allowed to go any further. Unfortunately, Raph causes Don’s toy pirate ship to go drifting beyond their reach. Much to Leo’s disapproval, the Turtles cross into the “forbidden zone” to go find it.

Elsewhere, four strange aliens, armed with guns and a tracking device, make their way through the sewers toward the T.C.R.I. building. And at said building, the mutant alligator Leatherhead convinces his Utrom friend, Dr. X, to allow him to take a relaxing swim through the New York sewer system. Dr. X warns him to be careful and Leatherhead dives down into the tunnels.

Down in the tunnels, the Turtles find Don’s pirate ship and something else… a humongous alligator. Leo warns Raph not to tease it, which of course only makes the little brat want to bug it. Raph bonks the gator on the head with a rock, revealing it to be Leatherhead. Enraged that he cannot find so much as a moment’s peace, Leatherhead loses his shit and goes on a mindless rampage (scaring the Turtles away). Leatherhead’s rampage coincidentally brings him into contact with the four aliens, which he summarily beats to a pulp. He recovers from his berserker in time to keep from killing them, though he is thoroughly ashamed of his actions. Dr. X approaches him and tells him that he should be proud he regained his faculties before it was too late, but more importantly, that the aliens were the Sigmurethites; enemies of the Utroms that were no doubt looking for a means of infiltrating the T.C.R.I. building.

Back at the edge of the “safety zone”, the Turtles return to find a very irritated Splinter waiting for them. He promptly grounds them, to which Raph tries to explain that their pirate ship was stolen by eels and they had to get it back by fighting a shark and it wasn’t their fault. Splinter grounds Raph twice as long for lying… and doing it badly.

The Future. Elderly Leo completes his meditation. Placing the bokken back on the rack, Leo steps out onto the balcony of his futuristic home and overlooks the sun setting into the sea. He considers that memories are all that is left of him.

Turtle Tips:

*Leatherhead’s decompressed origin was shown in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #50, in the back-up story “Threads”. Leatherhead will meet the Turtles again “for the first time” so far as any of them are aware in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #6.

*Chronologically speaking, Dr. X previously appeared in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #50, in the back-up story “Threads”. Though he/she will have retroactively been included in TMNT (Vol. 1) #7, Dr. X won’t make another named appearance until TMNT (Vol. 3) #19.

*The bookending sequence featuring elderly Leo takes place some time before Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #41. In a discussion with Tales of the TMNT editor Dan Berger regarding this segment, Berger suggested Leo may be living in an ocean-housing structure, as the Earth had been flooded by global warming in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #69.

*This issue also contained the bonus back-up story, “Awww… rats!” by Dan Berger and a pin-up, “Leatherhead” by Michael Gaydos.

*A “triptych” is a piece of art that has two folding points, one on each side, and thusly consists of three pieces. A “pastiche” is a combination of multiple stories or narratives, bridged together by some contrivance. So in the case of this title's portmanteau, a “triptyche” would be a pastiche constructed from three interlocking narratives that fold into one another. And that concludes today’s English lesson. Have your homework on my desk by Wednesday.

Review:

This is one of those stories that I’m unsure as to whether I like or dislike, as there are elements to it I appreciate and others that I do not.

As a “young Turtles” story, it’s one of the best for its portrayal of the characters in their youth. Most of the stories about the Turtles at this age are either shorts that last maybe two or three pages, or only focus on a single Turtle and not their dynamic with the others. As a full length issue, you get to see a lot of developmental aspects of the Turtles, such as Splinter charging Leo with responsibility for his brothers at such an early age, Don being a mechanical prodigy and Raph being a little punk (Mikey, unfortunately, gets no real characterization). All the classic relationships between the characters are present, but rendered in a childish way befitting the tone and timeframe of the story.

There’s a sense of humor to the story, too, that’s consistent in most of these “pre-Teen Turtle” stories. I really liked the sign Splinter put up at the edge of the “safety zone” reading, “Forbidden! Turn back, my sons!” A second sign reading, “This means YOU, Raphael!” probably wouldn’t have been Splinter’s style but I’d have laughed even harder if they’d included it.

It also works nicely for showcasing Dr. X’s bond with Leatherhead, which was talked about at length in TMNT (Vol. 3) but we were intended to take at face value. As a supplement to “Threads” (which shows Dr. X taking a baby Leatherhead as a pet), it flows nicely.

As for the main problem with this story, it has to do with the fact that it somewhat undermines Leatherhead’s first appearance in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #6 in several ways. He sort of loses his edge when he makes such an unceremonious “first appearance” (chronologically) in this story, but more importantly, it badly clashes with the continuity of the Turtles. Leatherhead never saw them, so he’s fine for not recognizing them when next they meet, but what’s the Turtles’ excuse? Did they just forget about that time they met a mutant alligator in the sewers? I mean, he even melodramatically announces his name to them, for crying out loud! There’s just very little benefit to this story when it erodes the narrative cohesion of the series like this.

And even moreso, the only reason the Utroms remained in the T.C.R.I. building is because they were stuck on Earth and nobody knew they were there. Except the Sigmurethites, I guess? They knew they were there and even tried to infiltrate their HQ. Presumably, the Utroms took the hostages alive (unless they didn’t survive the wounds Leatherhead gave them), so why couldn’t they have used whatever tech their foes had to contact the Utrom homeworld or, I dunno, just leave the planet? Once again, this story undermines a previously established plot point, an important one for logical reasons, and all for what? So Leatherhead could scare a bunch of baby Turtles in the sewer and send them running home to Splinter?

As much as I enjoyed seeing the Turtles interacting as kids for an extended period, I think this story does more harm than good, conflicting with several plot points and making glaring contradictions that aren’t so easily reconciled.

Dario Brizuela’s art is always a joy, though, and he draws a mean Leatherhead; so if the purpose of this story was to give Brizuela an excuse to draw the big gator, then I guess there’s really no use in complaining. The bookending segments with the elderly Leo were rather sweet, too. As for the title, I’m not sure which qualifies as the “triptych”: the combo of elderly Leo, young TMNT and Leatherhead, or young TMNT, Leatherhead and the Sigmurethites. It’s probably not worth thinking about.

Grade: D+ (as in, “Do the Dario! Swing your arms from side to side-okay, I'll stop”.)

Movie and Cartoon reviews

2011-12-02T19:51:00.001-08:00

I've decided to expand TMNT Entity! Instead of merely boasting reviews of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comic books, we'll now be covering the franchise's other media outlets, such as the movies, cartoons and ocassional live action television series or special (god help us all).

You can find these reviews (as well as other non-TMNT articles by me) over at Adventures in Poor Taste; a site I regularly contribute to. For the sake of convenience, however, I'll index them all here!

4Kids animated series (2003)

"Turtles Forever"

TMNT (IDW) #4

2011-11-30T11:12:00.001-08:00

Publication date: November 30, 2011

Story: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Layouts: Kevin Eastman
Art: Dan Duncan
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

Cornered in the park, Raph and Casey are approached by the gang’s leader, Old Hob. The sight of Hob triggers a repressed memory in Raph, who recalls Hob (as a cat) trying to eat him before getting attacked by Splinter. Casey tells Raph to snap out of it as the gang moves in under Hob’s orders to pulverize the two.

Fifteen months ago. At Stockgen labs, Baxter Stockman gets a damage assessment from Chet regarding the ninja break-in. Though the terrapin exo-suit armor samples remain, the psychotropic serum was lost with Splinter and the traces of super soldier mutagen recovered from the alley have been tainted beyond use. Baxter is infuriated, as the ninja belonged to a rival of General Krang, who provided him with his secret mutagen at great risk; Krang won't like this news one bit. Chet suggests that if they can find Splinter, they can regain both the psychotropic drug and the mutagen from his blood. Baxter laughs at the idea of tracking down a single rat in New York City, but a slimy, furry, one-eyed individual comes crawling into the lab, assuring them he can do it: Old Hob.

At a police station, April tries to explain the ninja break-in to the cops, who are reluctant to buy her story. While relating the events, she recalls that it was Splinter who pulled the fire alarm and saved her life. Meanwhile, down in the sewers, the now-mutated Splinter tells his three Turtle sons to hurry up and make some distance between themselves and the lab. The Turtles recognize Splinter as their father, but don’t remember their previous lives. Splinter explains that all will become clear in time and decides that their new lives requires new names, so he gives them the ones April had ascribed to them: Leonardo, Donallo and Michelangelo. More importantly, though, they must find their missing brother, Raphael.

Back to the present, Casey and Raph (who doesn’t know he’s Raph) are holding their own against Hob’s thugs, but the numbers eventually overwhelm them. Casey is taken down by a brick to the head while Hob pistol-whips Raph into submission. Hob is about to blow Raph’s brains out when a series of shuriken strike him in the arm. The other three Turtles have made it just in time and demand Hob back off. Hob isn’t about to go back to Stockgen empty-handed and savagely attacks Raph while the other Turtles deal with the last of the gang. Raph pummels Hob and is only prevented from killing him by Leo. The three Turtles tell Raph his name and memories come flooding back. Momentarily, Casey recovers and is shocked to see four mutant Turtles instead of the one.

Down in the sewers, Raph is finally reunited with his father. Giving Raph a hug, Splinter announces that now things can truly begin…

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #3. The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #5.

*Baxter Stockman was last shown dealing with General Krang in TMNT (IDW) #1.

*The break-in at Stockgen by the mysterious ninja was shown in TMNT (IDW) #2.

*This issue was originally published with five variant covers: Cover A by Dan Duncan, Cover B by Kevin Eastman, Cover RIA black and white Eastman version, Cover RIB by Fred Hembeck and Cover RE exclusive to Jetpack Comics, by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

Review:

Four issues and $16 in and NOW the story can “truly begin”? sigh

Waltz is clearly taking a very slow-burn approach to the series, though I think he’s really starting to stretch things to their limit. In 88 total pages thus far, we still haven’t gotten the full origin of these characters, we still don’t know their motivations, we still know next to nothing about the primary villains of the series and the majority of the cast is still floating around in isolated limbo, yet to encounter one another. While a portion of my criticism can be traced back to my own impatience, I think there needs to be a line drawn regarding decompression in comic book storytelling. Four issues, four months, $16 bucks and 88 pages later and we STILL haven’t gotten a complete story of any kind. I understand the desire of a writer to play things close to the vest and keep their hand closely guarded, but readers should be rewarded with a bit more than what we’ve been getting, lest you run the risk of burning out an audience who have been investing in a book and only received marginal satisfaction after the better part of $20.

I’m just wondering how long, at this rate, it’s going to take for the actual plot to unfold, the conflict to arise and things to start moving? By issue #10 will we even see the Shredder? Or General Krang in person? Or some other sort of conflict? Or will we STILL be drudging through the origin story? At the rate things are going, I wouldn’t be surprised. After all, we’re four months invested in this book and the plot still hasn’t “truly begun”?

As for the infinitesimal smidgen of plot advancement that has occurred in this chapter, I do feel we’re finally starting to get somewhere, but only in baby-steps. So Hob is working for Stockman, who wants to get Krang’s mutagen back via Splinter’s blood? While his motivation is a bit shallow (“he tore out my eye!”), at least he’s got more going for him than just being a Tom & Jerry “cats hate mice” trope. My question is, though… why doesn’t Stockman just take the mutagen from Hob’s blood and cut out the middleman? I suppose because Splinter was the only one with the psychotropic serum and he needs that back specifically? But then, what does the psychotropic serum do for Splinter that the mutagen hasn’t done for the Turtles and Hob? Human-level intellect, memory recall and speech capabilities? Hob and the Turtles seem to be on the same level as Splinter in those categories. Hoping we get an explanation on what kind of looks like a plot hole (and hoping we can get it in under five issues).

The part of this issue that’s had fans talking, though, is Splinter’s cryptic words about his and the Turtles’ “previous lives”, coupled with Waltz’s assurance that there’s more to the fifteen month gap than the audience yet knows. I criticized the fifteen month span in previous reviews, as I felt that wasn’t long enough for the Turtles to gain their personalities, familial bonds or ninja skill. Waltz’s resolution seems to be that the Turtles weren’t always turtles? Before they were Mutant Turtles, before they were pet store turtles, they were… something else? All signs point to their being actual humans, and Splinter being an actual human as well; making them his legitimate sons rather than adopted ones. Pure speculation on my part; we’ll have to see how that plays out. As it stands, though, I think we’re in for a major departure from any incarnation of the TMNT’s origin we have ever had before. I’ll reserve judgment until I see it (hopefully sometime within the next twenty issues, but I won’t hold my breath).

While the leisurely paced story has finally worn my patience down, I can’t supply too many complaints about the art or the coloring. With every issue, I’ve come to appreciate Dan Duncan’s style even more, and while he isn’t exceptionally innovative, his characters are highly expressive and I really dig his ink work (looks kinda like he uses a Sharpie for some pages, but the effect definitely works). I like Ronda Pattison’s subdued, earthy tones for the colors and it makes certain elements with brighter colors really pop on the page, such as the glowing mutagen or April’s red hair.

All in all, I think this is the most critical I’ve been of the series so far. If you boil these first four installments down to everything that matters, I think there’s actually enough content to fill two very strong issues. But stretched thin over four issues, I’m growing a bit agitated with the decompressed pace. Maybe it was just that last line of the issue, that the story hasn’t even “truly begun” that left me in such an irritated mood; like it was rubbing the decompression in my face. But fact of that matter is, four months and $16 and we’re still not even through with the origin. Brian Michael Bendis would be proud.

Grade: C (as in, “Can’t wait for something to happen, though!”)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #2

2011-11-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

Publication date: August, 1987 (cover date July)

Story/plot: Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird
Layouts/pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Ryan Brown
Letters: Steve Lavigne
Frontispiece: Kevin Eastman and Ryan Brown

“Nobody’s Fool!”

Summary:

Frontispiece: In traditional Japanese garb, Leonardo sits beneath a gargoyle, overlooking a city. He considers how all the major cities of America look the same and that deep down, nobody in them cares about anything. Or do they?

At the farmhouse, the Turtles are lazying around the living room, watching TV and reading the paper. Both forms of media discuss a mysterious vigilante in nearby Springfield, providing anonymous tips to the police and breaking into seventh story windows for no discernable reason. This gives the Turtles the idea to get out of the house and pay a visit to Springfield, as they’d been missing big city life.

After a few hours of exploring the city after dark, the Turtles hear gunfire and head to investigate. Scaling a building, they’re greeted by a man clad head to toe in black and wearing a cape. He’s been shot, but assures them he’ll be fine; what really matters is that the Turtles follow the truck that just sped off. The Turtles are reluctant to help him until he shows them his police badge, then they agree to meet him under the Memorial Bridge at dawn with their findings. The Turtles catch up to the truck and follow it to B.F.R. Trucking.

At dawn, they wait by the bridge, not sure if this masked vigilante will show. The vigilante manages to sneak up on them and gets the information he needs. Though he refuses to offer his name, he tells them to meet him under the bridge at nightfall once he checks up on some leads.

That night, the vigilante waits beneath the bridge and the Turtles get the drop on him for a change. Now “even”, the vigilante agrees to spill all he knows. B.F.R. Trucking does transportation work for a company called Ruffington Arms. Ruffington handles big Government weapon contracts, but the vigilante suspects they’re up to something. He tracked their shipments back to a waterfront salvage company and says they need to go there to find answers.

At the salvage warehouse, the Turtles and the vigilante get a hold of one of the unmarked packages and find, surprise surprise, that it’s full of dangerous weapons. The vigilante says he wants to call this in to the police, only to discover that the buy is going down tonight and there’s no time to wait for the cops. Grabbing the missile launcher, the vigilante tells the Turtles to disrupt the buy and deal with the small fish while he keeps the head honchos from escaping. The Turtles take down everyone inside the warehouse while the vigilante follows the dealmakers. He’s unable to reach them before they board their escape chopper. With no other alternative, the vigilante fires the missile launcher and blows the helicopter out of the sky.

Later, the Turtles overlook the police clean-up effort, as all the goons they downed are arrested. The cops deduce that Ruffington was selling their excess weapons to the highest bidder and there’s enough evidence to make this an open and shut case. Leonardo ponders what became of the vigilante after the explosion, dubbing him “Nobody” because he never gave them his name. As the Turtles head home, Nobody lurks in the shadows and quietly thanks them for their help.

Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place during the period when the Turtles were exiled to Northampton by the Foot. Personally, I place it after TMNT (Vol. 1) #17.

*The Turtles will encounter Nobody again in the untitled Nobody story included in the 1989 Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) trade paperback collection.

*For the Tales of the TMNT Original Vol. 1 Series Treasury Edition trade paperback collection (whew!), the original frontispiece was swapped out with a new one by Jim Lawson, tying into a larger story arc going through all the new frontispieces created for that collection.

*This story was adapted for the 4Kids animated series as the episode “Nobody’s Fool”.

*This issue also contained a bonus pin-up page by Steve Lavigne.

Review:

There are a lot of recurring superhero characters in the Mirage TMNT universe. You’ve got Radical and the Justice Force, but of them all, Nobody is the only “superhero” in the comic I’ve ever actually liked. It probably has to do with his being a bargain bin Batman and I think that sort of “superhero” archetype works better with the Turtles than the more outrageously overpowered variety. I’d rather see the Turtles running along rooftops with a discount Dark Knight than trying to keep up with the Superman-like characters such as Radical or Vanguard. It seems a bit more within their element.

For a first appearance, though, it might be a wonder just what there is to like about Nobody. He doesn’t really do a whole heck of a lot in this story beside get shot, make the Turtles agree to meet him under a bridge twice then blow a helicopter up with a missile launcher. He doesn’t fight anyone and he doesn’t display any combat skill beside the (albeit impressive) ability to sneak up on the Turtles. He’s a character that would definitely come to shine in later appearances, particularly as a major player in the “Shades of Grey” two-parter, where his exploding the helicopter and killing its passengers would be an important plot point. So far as this issue goes, he’s kind of lame.

I wouldn’t say the story’s paced particularly well, either. The Turtles bump into Nobody on a roof and he immediately enlists their aid in tracking the truck despite not knowing who they are or what they’re capable of (or even being concerned with their being giant turtles, for that matter); it’s very rushed and awkward. They make a big deal later in the issue about earning each other’s trust to try and make up for that weird, hurried introduction, but all it amounts to is a lot of talking. Nobody having them meet him twice under the bridge in the span of 3 pages is especially bad pacing and I’m pretty sure they could have streamlined the script into a single bridge-gathering with ease.

Jim Lawson’s art is very good and rapidly improving in certain fundamental qualities. By the next issue of Tales of the TMNT a lot of his problems with scale and foreshortening won’t exist anymore. In this issue, though, there are some moments of awkward character staging in the layouts, such as page 1, where the Turtle in the hat (no telling which one it is) is just standing in the corner like a mannequin, or this really goofy-looking panel on page 3 where one of the Turtles is holding up their finger with an “I have an idea” statement while the other two Turtles smile at the audience like we’re taking their picture. The Springfield cityscape on page 4 looks like a backdrop in a stage play, the way the Turtles are standing before it.

But while, yeah, there are some pages like that, Lawson’s work shines over those shortcomings elsewhere. The splash page on page 6 where the Turtles encounter Nobody is beautiful, particularly down to Ryan Brown’s inking, and I absolutely love the layout on page 5; how the panels are made to look like the different stories of the building the Turtles are scaling in the outer frame.

When you get down to it, Nobody is a good character with a rather poor introduction. I think this is another one of those stories the 4Kids cartoon got to handle a bit better thanks to decompressing it and allowing Nobody to have a stronger hand in the action.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Can’t really fathom why an entire splash page was dedicated to Nobody missing the helicopter platform, though”.)

Movie Review: Turtles Forever (2009)

2011-11-25T20:33:00.001-08:00

As an exclusive article for Adventures in Poor Taste, I've taken the time to review the 2009 made-for-TV animated film, "Turtles Forever".

You can read my review of "Turtles Forever" RIGHT HERE!

I submit a non-TMNT article to AiPT about once a week, so if you're curious about my thoughts on random topics such as IDW's current Ghostbusters comic, The Batman vs. Batman the Animated Series, how Tiny Toon Adventures stacks up after 20 years or even my bizarre attempts at poetry, as well as entertaining articles from other writers, then check the site out.

I'll be doing further reviews of TMNT cartoons and movies at Adventures in Poor Taste, too, so look out for those in the future.

TMNT (Vol. 1) #17

2011-11-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

Publication date: November, 1988

Story: Eric Talbot, Kevin Eastman
Art: Eric Talbot
Scripting: Kevin Eastman, Eric Talbot
Letters: Steve Lavigne

“Distractions”

Summary:

It is Feudal Era Japan and Micaelangelo has been wandering the countryside for three days, searching for his lost brothers. As night falls, he is met by a small family: the elderly father, Toshiro, the infant boy, Sakai, and the beautiful teenage daughter, Tai. They enjoy each other’s company for a while (with Mike and Tai immediately hitting it off), at least until Toshiro and his family are attacked. As it turns out, Toshiro is a displaced feudal Lord and Daimyo Orkai has sent a unit of his corrupt samurai to assassinate him and kidnap Princess Tai. Mike successfully protects Lord Toshiro and Prince Sakai, but the evil samurai Tachi absconds with Princess Tai, whom he intends to make his bride.

Lord Toshiro explains to Mike that Tachi is the son of Daimyo Orkai and that if he should marry Princess Tai, Orkai would gain control of all his land. Mike swears to rescue the princess and races off. Fighting his way into a village at the heart of Orkai’s province, Mike borrows a peasant’s hat and sneaks into an inn. There, he waits for one of the drunken samurai to stumble out of the joint then promptly kills him and takes his uniform. Mike then uses the disguise to sneak into Orkai’s stronghold.

Meanwhile, Orkai berates Tachi for failing to kill Lord Toshiro, as in order for their marriage scheme to work, Toshiro must be dead.

Mike finds his way into the dungeons and Princess Tai’s cell. He’s about to rescue her when a hulking executioner attacks him with an axe. Mike frees Tai in the chaos and tells her to make a break for it while he deals with the executioner. Tai doesn’t make it very far, as she’s quickly cornered by Orkai, Tachi and their man-eating, um, velociraptor?

Princess Tai is defiant to the last, though Orkai assures her that after the marriage is done and her usefulness is through, she will be killed. Mike then steps into the room, carrying the corpse of the executioner. Orkai sics his dinosaur on Mike, but he easily stabs it through the skull with his katana. Tachi enters the fray, but Mike blocks his attack with his nunchaku then fells the samurai with a kick. Grabbing Tai, Mike escapes through a window.

Orkai’s guards pursue Mike and Tai, eventually trapping them on a bridge. Orkai and Tachi catch up, ready to finish the deed, when Lord Toshiro intervenes, backed by a small army of armed peasants. The peasantry have had enough of Orkai’s tyranny and have joined with Lord Toshiro in rising against him. Mike and Tachi go at it once more, with Mike easily besting the arrogant samurai. Lord Toshiro then banishes Orkai and his son, under penalty of death should they ever return.

Later, Mike bids Princess Tai farewell. Tai begs him to stay so that they can be together, but Mike insists that he must find his brothers so that they can return home. Treading back into the mountains of Japan, Mike vows never to forget Princess Tai…

…Back in Northampton, Mike sits at a desk in his room, putting the finishing touches on his story. He asks Klunk if he thinks the thing is too corny, though.

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, this story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #15. Chronologically, the story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #14.

*Mike’s love of writing would resurface as a major plot point in TMNT (Vol. 3), the Image series.

*He could use the practice, though; the name “Orkai” doesn’t work in the Japanese phonetic lingual system. It should be “Orukai”, but even then, that’s not a real name.

*Klunk’s alive! Saints be praised!

*Mike has a poster of Eastman and Talbot’s “Melting Pot” in his room.

*This issue also contained a bonus pin-up, “That’s All, Folks” by Eric Talbot.

Review:

This is one of my favorite stories in the “Exile” era of TMNT (Vol. 1) and one of the better Michelangelo-centric issues of the whole series. Most Mike-heavy tales opt to focus on the humor of the character; his “comedy relief” nature and that’s a very thin tightrope to cross. If you’re not funny, then the whole thing falls apart. And even if you are funny, the nonstop barrage of jokes can grow tiresome, making Mike a character best taken in small doses. But whatever the case, focusing too much on Mike’s humorous nature has the side effects of rendering him thin and two-dimensional; there’s gotta be more to the guy then goofing around and making puns, right?

“Distractions” is one of the most important Michelangelo stories ever written as it illustrates that there’s a deeper, more intelligent and creative aspect to the character beneath his seemingly single-minded silliness. Unfortunately, this aspect of Michelangelo would be summarily ignored by Mirage for the better part of ten years, not to be approached again until Gary Carlson’s TMNT (Vol. 3) (the Image series). Mike’s love of writing really blossomed in that series, taking a one-off plot point no one at Mirage thought mattered and really running with it. When Laird insisted that Volume 3 be removed from continuity because it “didn’t feel right”, it had the side effect of removing what amounts to the only shred of character development Michelangelo ever had, reverting him back to a dull, shallow, juvenile comedian with no ambitions of any kind.

But that’s getting ahead of things. “Distractions” is the genesis of Mike’s creative spirit and a fun insight into his private aspirations. As the story starts, if you are unaware of the “twist” on the final page, you might already start filling in the narrative blanks on your own, presuming that another misadventure with Renet has stranded the Turtles in Feudal Era Japan. Of course, there are clues that things are not what they seem sprinkled about the issue; such as nobody seeming to notice or care that they’re talking to a giant turtle, either all the Japanese people speaking English or Mike inexplicably speaking Japanese, and a self-admissive cornball narrative that makes the adventure ring insincere even before you get to the end.

There are some… problems, with the issue, but the “story within a story” nature and the fact that it was supposed to be an amateurish draft penned by a teenager in his spare time makes me wonder how many errors were intentional and how many were genuine screw-ups. Just about every Japanese name in the story is ridiculous and only vaguely “Japanese-sounding”. You’ve got characters with gibberish syllables for names and apparently Lord Toshiro decided to give his son a familial name for his given name (I’m aware that “Sakai” was named after Stan Sakai but it’d be like me naming my son “Eastman Pellegrini”). Then you’ve got “Orkai” which doesn’t even work with Japanese syllable structure. I’m not really complaining about these, mind you; just pointing them out. They’re exactly the sort of thing a 15 year-old that’s really into Japanese culture but knows approximately fuck all about Japanese culture beyond movies and comics made by white people would write.

Other mistakes are a little tougher to brush away as simply “Mike being an amateur author”. Eric Talbot seemed to be drawing his pages at a smaller size than most other Mirage publications, so there are huge white borders surrounding each page. Other times, he seemed to be drawing the pages bigger than the physical comic could contain; page 21 is actually cropped to the point where part of Orkai’s speech bubble and even the page number in the corner are cut off. Then there are the spelling errors in names and a weird punctual error where two sentences from Orkai somehow got fused into one. Saying this issue looked “rushed” would be unkind, but it probably could have used some more meticulous copy editing.

I’ve droned on and on about Eric Talbot’s artwork before, but only in regards to his back-up stories, as they’re the only Talbot TMNT comics I’ve reviewed up until now. The man would only seldom produce full-length issues, with this being one of the few, but it’s a gorgeous piece of work. There’s a tremendous sense of intensity in Mike from his posture to his expressions to his ruthless, gory and intentionally over-the-top fight sequences. I love the way Talbot does his inks; something along the lines of “organized chaos”. It’s messy, but in a good way. Everyone is dark and heavily shadowed and it’s just a dirty, brutal comic.

Talbot dedicates a whole page to giving a special thanks to the creators that inspired him, namely Frank Miller, Stan Sakai, Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima, as well as all the folks at Mirage. You can easily identify traces of all those who inspired him in this issue, with I think Frank Miller standing out above the others.

“Distractions” is a rather unassuming story, feeling like a dispensable narrative one-shot that can be skipped because “the story wasn’t ‘real’ and it doesn’t count”, but that seems a tad short-sighted. It plants the seeds for a major part of TMNT (Vol. 3) and introduces a side to Michelangelo that I really, really wish other TMNT mediums would consider exploiting, especially the cartoons. There can be more to Mike than bad comedy and pizza if only other writers would make the effort.

Grade: B (as in, “But the closest thing to ‘kanji’ in this entire issue set in Feudal Japan are some squiggles on the wall of the inn. Eh, close enough”.)

TMNT Adventures #50

2011-11-19T11:56:00.001-08:00

Publication date: November, 1993

Plot/script/edits: Dean Clarrain
Plot/pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Brian Thomas
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Managing edits: V. Gorelick

“Kill Them!”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

Emperor Mazool orders his guards to open fire on Nova Posse and the Turtles. They fight back but are forced to retreat when Rave takes a laser to the face. Luckily, Zebulon swoops in with their ship and picks them all up. They decide to head back and help the Stump Armada fight the Aerwyl Fleet in space.

Inside the black hole, Donatello has gone insane with power thanks to the Turnstone. Now “one with the universe”, he can see everything, everywhere and the omniscience is not only costing him his mind, but enlarging the black hole at a rapid rate. Qark, still onboard Nova Posse’s ship, telepathically communicates to Sarnath what’s happening to the black hole. At last understanding, Sarnath knows what he must do.

Out in the space battle, Nova Posse takes a hit which destroys their communications panel and injures Trip. With no means of communication, and flying an Imperial ship, the Stump Armada will have no way of differentiating them from the enemy.

Back in the black hole, Sarnath attacks Don. Mad with power, Don begins blasting Sarnath with energy beams, tearing away parts of his body. Sarnath tells Don that if he can see everything, then to take a look at the trouble his friends and family are in. Seeing his brothers and Ninjara in danger is enough to momentarily disorient Don. Sarnath takes advantage of the opportunity and seizes the Turnstone. Able to see for the first time in years, Sarnath decides that he must make the necessary sacrifice and teleports Don back to Nova Posse’s ship. Sarnath deduces that the Sons of Silence were using their telepathy to trick Don into possessing the Turnstone for them, though the black hole and the war it started was an unintended side effect. Never the less, Sarnath teleports them away to an unknown location. Sarnath then destroys all the Imperial ships out in battle, teleporting their pilots back to Mazool’s HQ (Mazool swearing vengeance on Nova Posse). Finally, Sarnath collapses the black hole, ending the whole ordeal.

Onboard Nova Posse’s ship, Rave recovers from his injuries as Leo sees to Don. Don explains what went down in the black hole and laments that by collapsing it in on himself, Sarnath has been sealed outside of the universe forever. Don then joins the sorrowful Qark in mourning the loss of their dear friend.

BACK-UP STORY:

Script: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

“Megadeath, Three of Seven”

The Gang of Four drops down from the mouth of the Mutanimals’ volcano HQ and immediately begin attacking. Future-Raph tells Future-Don that his “history books” were wrong and they arrived to late to stop whatever they came to do.

As they attack, the Gang of Four introduce themselves. Lynch repels down on a rope, swing-kicking Jagwar in the jaw. While firing an assault rifle with one hand, Fist launches his other, uh, fist on a grappling cable from his arm, nearly knocking Wingnut’s block off. Dead-Eye blasts Future-Raph with his vertigo ray, disabling the Turtle. Finally, Waster removes his fake human mask, revealing a frightening, toothy robotic face underneath. Dreadmon nails Waster in the head with a bag of cement, causing the cyborg to accidentally blast open the hatch to the sea.

With the Mutanimals and the Turtles down for the count thanks to the high-pressure blast of sea water, the Gang of Four take to higher ground. Lynch grabs a live wire and prepares to dip it in the water, electrocuting the mutants.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #49. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #51.

*As a bonus, this issue contained a full-color, removable poster by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. It also included a public service announcement pin-up, “Recycle your old toys”, by Chris Allan and Ryan Brown.

Review:

“The Black Hole Trilogy” concludes and hits a rather somber note along the way. For a dude that was only in four issues total, Sarnath was a surprisingly strong character for having such a short shelf life. I think it helps that he was built off earlier story elements in the series and contributed to a much deeper mythology; just by existing he really added a lot of consistency and world building. And for a guy who has had things so rough his entire existence (being a slave, then having his eyes stolen, then losing his eyes forever, then getting eaten by a black hole), he seemed to take the universe shitting on him in stride; a very likeable quality. So despite having only been around for four issues, his sacrifice still retained enough emotional weight to keep him from feeling like a “red shirt” type of character.

The exact scheme that the Sons of Silence were hatching remains a little muddy. So they wanted the Turnstone for themselves, but couldn’t use it, so they tricked Donatello into using it for them by controlling him telepathically? But if they didn’t want to create that black hole, then what was their ultimate goal?

STEP 1: Acquire Turnstone.
STEP 2: _____
STEP 3: Profit!

The idea of the blind Sarnath being the one to obtain omniscience and make the necessary sacrifice had a nice bit of tragic irony to it; he finally got to see again but only moments before his doom.

As for the space battle at Stump Asteroid, that aspect of the action kind of fell apart with this chapter. Nova Posse’s assault on Emperor Mazool was pointless; they retreat as soon as they get there. What were they hoping to accomplish? There’s a space battle going on, but it’s almost background noise to the narrative inside the black hole; you don’t even get to see Cudley joining the fray. The Turtles and Nova Posse just sort of hang along for the ride while Sarnath sews the conflict up with his magic 8 ball. And man, was that bit where Mazool swears vengeance on Nova Posse corny as hell; like Murphy (Clarrain) was trying to set up the worst spin-off series imaginable.

Chris Allan was really firing on all cylinders with the art in this issue. Though the Eastman/Laird poster obscures it (I don’t want to remove the thing), that two-page spread of Sarnath obtaining omniscience and his spectral figure hovering over the black hole and the spaceships is fantastic. And he really deserves credit for all the scenes taking place inside the empty void of the black hole. There are no backgrounds in there, just white space, so the pages rely strictly on the energy and expressiveness of the characters. And Allan totally pulls it off.

As for “Megadeath”, we get a page wasted on recapping the last two segments and then four pages to move things along. The Gang of Four are pretty terrible villains, or at least they’re just really hammy. The whole bit where they show off their unique powers while awkwardly announcing their names and personalities felt so… so… Chris Claremont. And I’m sorry, but Lawson totally blew the reveal of Waster’s cyborg face. There’s this huge build-up to it, like it’s going to be this shocking, horribly grotesque atrocity that’ll startle the reader as soon as they turn the page… and it’s just this uninspired, generic robot head with tortilla chip teeth and a pointy tongue.

Grade: B (as in, “Black holes are actually invisible to the naked eye because they don’t reflect light but whatever, it’s a kid’s comic”.)

TMNT Adventures #49

2011-11-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

Publication date: October, 1993

Plot/script/edits: Dean Clarrain
Plot/pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Jon D’Agostino
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Blues: V. Gorelick

“The Dream of the Blue Turtle”

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

In the bathroom on Stump Asteroid, the Sons of Silence kidnap Donatello and whisk him away to a strange void where nothing seems to exist. He spots the Sons of Silence convening around the Turnstone and is shocked, as Don thought he’d seen the last of the Sons of Silence and the Tunrstone during their battle on Hirobyl. The Sons begin speaking to Don telepathically and ask him if he’s ever considered the concept of destiny. Suddenly, the Turnstone begins to speak as well.

Back at Stump Asteroid, Leo brings the news that Don has vanished. Unfortunately, their mission is too dire to waste time looking for the AWOL Turtle. Trap brings everyone into the war room and explains the situation. The black hole at the center of Dimension X is steadily growing and drawing closer to inhabited planets. As refugees evacuate, the Aerwyl Imperial Fleet, led by Emperor Mazool, has been attacking them; looting the refugees and enslaving them. That’s why Nova Posse quit the fleet and now they want first crack at taking down Mazool. Trap breaks the team up thusly: The Turtles will accompany Nova Posse on their mission to take down Mazool while Trap the rest of the armada on Stump Asteroid take on the Aerwyl Fleet.

In the void, Don is surprised by the sudden arrival of Sarnath’s ship and the Imperial fighter that shot it down into the black hole. The two ships crash and though Don tries to help Sarnath, the Imperial attempts to fight him. However, the Turnstone will not allow any of the parties to do battle. The Imperial immediately notices the Turnstone and makes a grab for it. The Sons of Silence try to warn him not to, but only Don can hear their telepathic cries. The Imperial disintegrates the moment he touches the Turnstone. Sarnath becomes worried as Don claims that the Turnstone is speaking to him, asking him to take hold of it.

Above Mazool’s World, Nova Posse sneaks past the Aerwyl guard using a fake access code and they, along with the Turtles, drop down into the forests surrounding the Emperor’s stronghold. Using their various powers and skills, Nova Posse makes it through the alarms and the guards, arriving at Mazool’s control center. Mazool orders them to surrender, as his Fleet has already poised themselves to destroy the armada at Stump Asteroid. Suddenly, Mazool receives a distress call from his admiral; the black hole has doubled in size and is swallowing up their ships.

Inside the black hole, in the void, Don has seized the Turnstone and he looks a little too happy about it.

BACK-UP STORY:

Script: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Rivets: V. Gorelick

“Megadeath, Two of Seven”

On the volcano base of the Mutanimals, Future-Don and Future-Raph appear through a timeslip. Future-Don reminds Future-Raph how important this trip is, causing Future-Raph to become sullen, knowing how things turn out for their friends in his present.

A short while later, the two future Turtles appear through a second timeslip, bringing a haul of future tech along with them to install in the base. After saying hi to the Mutanimals, both teams get to work installing all the cool stuff.

Suddenly, the four mysterious assassins drop in through the mouth of the volcano, guns blazing and swearing death to the Mutanimals.

Turtle Tips:

*This issue is continued from TMNT Adventures #48. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #50.

*The Sons of Silence were vanquished and the Turnstone sent away by Cherubae in TMNT Adventures #13.

*Future-Don and future-Raph last appeared in TMNT Adventures #44.

Review:

“The Black Hole Trilogy” carries on as Steve Murphy (Dean Clarrain) resurrects more forgotten plot threads from TMNT Adventures’ infancy! As I’ve gone on record as saying before, the opening arc of TMNT Adventures (when it started publishing new material, that is) happens to be one of my favorite storylines in the whole series, so it’s a thrill to see the dangling loose ends surrounding the Sons of Silence and the Turnstone crop up again.

The Sons of Silence were kind of weird additions in the opening arc of the series. They appeared out of the blue as these strange henchmen of Krang’s with scarcely any background and they were vanquished by Cherubae as quickly as they came. They were just this bizarre, unaddressed anomaly. “The Black Hole Trilogy” brings them back, tying them closer to the Turnstone and giving them some extra characterization beyond “Krang’s weird alien henchmen”.

And I love the politics of Dimension X. It’s great to see the goings-on of that distant galaxy (it’s a galaxy and not an actual “dimension” in the Archie Comics) beyond just the goofy scheming of Krang and Co. There are other evil warlords and emperors floating around, willing to fill the void left when Krang was banished to Morbus and they do so admirably. In all honesty, Krang’s machinations seem particularly childish and ill-conceived next to villains like Emperor Mazool and other evil overlord types, like Maligna and Null. I can sort of see why Murphy decided never to bring Krang back in TMNT Adventures, as he’d been so tremendously outclassed by other villains at this point in the series, dredging up his “threat” would be a bit of a downswing in storytelling.

Also, Page 16. The way Chris Allan draws that Imperial getting disintegrated by the Turonstone reminded me of the opening scene in “Heavy Metal”, where the astronaut-father gets disintegrated by the Loc-Nar (another talking, glowing orb of great power). Just sayin’.

As for “Megadeath”, I’m not quite sure where this one places. I suppose the Merdude miniseries could occur either during the “building the volcano base” montage on Page 4 or before “Megadeath” entirely, with Future-Don simply “returning” with more stuff to finish building the base. The way this story begins, it’s like the Mutanimals haven’t even started building their base yet, but the way the Merdude miniseries is written, it’s like Future-Don is bidding them farewell for good when he exits in the second issue.

They don’t really fit together perfectly, but they’re not totally incongruous, either. Personally, I just say “Future-Don came back with more stuff after the Merdude miniseries” and call it a day.

Grade: B (as in, “Be grateful the opening scene ended before Don had the chance to attach that suction cup to his wang”.)

TMNT (Vol. 1) #15

2011-11-14T10:47:00.001-08:00

Publication date: August, 1988

Story and pencils: Peter Laird
Inks: Jim Lawson
Letters: Steve Lavigne
T-Shirt designs: Ryan Brown
Figure assistance: Michael Dooney

“Dome Doom!”

Summary:

At Steve’s Comics in downtown Northampton, Mike, Raph and Casey are going through some old “Flaming Carrot” back issues when suddenly the joint is besieged by tiny bubble-domed robots with axes and maces. The Turtles and Casey take up arms against the machines, but they aren’t alone: two of the shop’s employees join in the brawl. A short guy with a weird, featureless face transforms into the hero Metalhead, who has devil-horns and can control his metallic hair like tentacles. The shop’s almost-elderly owner knocks out the robots with a metal plate on his forehead, revealing himself to be Stainless Steve Steel.

When the last “Domeoid” is vanquished, it plays a holographic recording of a disfigured little man named Dr. Dome, who swears vengeance on all members of the Justice Force. After Mike introduces himself and the others to Steve, the old timer pulls out his dusty J.F. Signal Device to call the other members of the Justice Force: Zippy Lad, Joey Lastic, Captain Deadbolt and Battling Bernice. In a secret lab, Dr. Dome picks up the J.F. signal and revels in the fact that all is going according to plan.

Later, in “outer suburbia”, Steve, Metalhead, Casey and all four Turtles arrive at Steve’s mansion (which he paid for by licensing the Justice Force out for comics, movies and television). Steve thanks the Turtles for joining in the Justice Force’s fight. Inside, they’re met by Zippy Lad who, despite being stuck in a wheelchair, is still faster than ever. Joey Lastic eventually shows up, but alas, old age has limited his stretching abilities and he occasionally “goes limp”. Saddest of all is the fate of Captain Deadbolt, a rock-man who could lock his body into an indestructible position at will. While entering a John Travolta look-a-like contest, he froze in a “Stayin’ Alive” pose and has been unable to come out of it. Zippy left him on display at his place, unsure if they guy’s alive or dead.

Leo hears several footsteps on the roof and, realizing the assault has begun, orders Raph to stay on the ground floor with the Justice Force while he, his brothers and Casey see to the roof. They make short work of the Domeoids on the roof while the Justice Force and Raph handle the ones coming through the front door. Domeoids destroyed, both teams head outside for more room to fight.

They are greeted by Dr. Dome, piloting his gigantic Domebot. Suddenly, Battling Bernice arrives fashionably late and crushes the Domebot with her super strength. Defeated, Dr. Dome confesses that he did it all out of love for her. Bernice reveals that she’s actually Ananda, daughter of the original Battling Bernice who died three years ago. As it turns out, Dr. Dome was originally a member of the Justice Force but left when Stainless Steve Steel won Battling Bernice’s affections. Ananda is ready to give up on Dr. Dome, but Steve isn’t in such a hurry. He offers Dome the opportunity to come stay at his place and perhaps mend old wounds and use his skills for the betterment of mankind to make up for lost time. Dr. Dome accepts.

Back at the farmhouse, Raph is reading an issue of the “All-New Justice Force”. Mikey ponders if Steve will be able to rehabilitate Dr. Dome. Raph says they should at least give him the chance, as “time heals all wounds”.

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, this story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #13. Chronologically, the story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #17.

*Members of the Justice Force will return gradually throughout TMNT (Vol. 4), beginning in TMNT (Vol. 4) #1.

*At Steve’s Comics a number of indie titles can be seen lining the shelves, such as “Albedo” and “Trollords”. But more importantly than any of that, there is apparently a comic adaptation of “Yor, Hunter of the Future”; quite possibly the worst movie ever made.

*Due to delay, this issue was actually published a month after TMNT (Vol. 1) #16.

*This issue also featured a bonus pin-up by Peter Laird’s brother, Don Laird, and a self portrait of Eastman and Laird in Mirage Studios by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird (originally commissioned for New Age Comics #2 for Fantagraphics, but not seen due to the cancellation of that series).

*This issue was adapted for the 4Kids TMNT cartoon as the episode “Return of the Justice Force”.

Review:

Eastman and Laird made it a point to illustrate that the Turtles live in a world already populated by superheroes and general comic book weirdness fairly early on, with characters like Complete Carnage and Radical, etc. Probably a good idea, as the Turtles so frequently encounter aliens, monsters, super villains and other miscellaneous insanity that there’s just gotta be this sort of stuff waiting around ever corner for their world to make any sense.

In a way, it makes the Turtles seem a little less unique, as how can they be freaks and outcasts in a world where robot midgets and rock-men can make lucrative licensing deals and be accepted as heroes by the general populace? It actually seems counter-intuitive to Laird’s own personal insistence of reducing mutant animals in the franchise offshoots he has a hand in because it “makes the Turtles less unique”. So bizarre superheroes are okay in abundance, but not mutant animals? Okay, sure, whatever.

I don’t hate the presence of superheroes in Turtle comics; Nobody is a favorite recurring character of mine and I adored most of the Image series, which had a ton of superheroes in it. The issue I take with “Dome Doom” is more that it overloads the audience with the fact that “oh by the way there’s a retired team of superheroes operating out of Northampton who license their likenesses out to media outlets to maintain luxurious lifestyles but nobody ever talks about them because meh”. Nothing would really be done with the idea of a substantial superhero population in the Mirage TMNT universe until the Image series, and after that got retconned out of continuity, the Volume 4 series (which had several interesting ideas as well as a decent use of the Justice Force characters).

So while this issue lays some groundwork for story elements that’ll come into play in TMNT (Vol. 4), that’s a long freakin’ ways away. Reading the issues chronologically, it’s just this one bizarre tale that seems like it should have major repercussions on the world the TMNT live in but won’t be referenced again for twenty years.

The story itself is paced really poorly, relying on the convenient acceptance of the protagonists for one another just so we can move to the next scene and get it all to fit in 32 pages. “The old man running the comic shop I go to is a superhero?” “The midget in a fedora who’s in my shop every Wednesday is a giant turtle?” “Wanna team-up?” “Sure!” In a way, though, the issue is supposed to be a throwback to cornball superhero comics from yesteryear, where this sort of storytelling was common place, so I’m willing to overlook it.

What I have a harder time overlooking is the fact that the members of the Justice Force are all supposed to be recognizable “celebrities” who license their likenesses out for money, live in mansions, run businesses and go to discos all with their identities out in the open… yet nobody seems to care enough to even recognize them. You would think a comic fanboy like Mike would know that the dude who owns his favorite shop is a retired superhero with an open identity. It’d be like if Michael Keaton owned the shop you have a pull box at and you see him every Wednesday but you STILL need someone to point out to you, “Did you know that guy played Batman in the Tim Burton movie.” “What? REALLY!? Hey Michael, is that true!?”

If you read the letter column in this issue, Laird makes it a point to publish several letters berating him and Eastman for “selling out” via the Fred Wolf cartoon and the Playmates toyline. Laird writes a lengthy reply to these letters, defending his decision to license the Turtles out for millions. Hell, I can’t hold a grudge against him; you better believe that if I could create something worth a fortune I’d milk that cow for every drop I could get. The inclusion of the plot point that Steve has been licensing his identity out for a fortune seems almost like a response by Laird to the accusations of “selling out” from his critics. “I’m sorry, did you say something? I can’t hear you through the walls of my colossal mansion in the gated community I live in thanks to all the money I made licensing my creation”.

“Dome Doom” is… I dunno. I didn’t really see its value until Volume 4 rolled around and these characters began making a comeback in supporting roles. But even then, they don’t offer much to the narrative of that series beyond tutors for a rebellious Shadow to blow off and a secret hospital for superheroes that hardly plays any significance to the plot beyond its introduction. If this issue never existed then those plot points would have never existed and I can’t see the series being any the worse without them.

All in all, it’s just not an issue I care for one way or the other.

Grade: D (as in, “Don’t let me forget to give some praise; Laird draws some mean architecture. That two-page spread of the Domeoids on the roof looks beautiful”.)

TMNT (Vol. 1) #13

2011-11-12T15:04:00.000-08:00

Publication date: February, 1988

Art and story: Michael Dooney
Letters: Steve Lavigne

“The People’s Choice”

Summary:

Hiking through the forests of Northampton, the Turtles follow Casey’s directions to an abandoned house on the edge of a lake. As Don climbs to the roof for a better view, Leo insists he come down before he hurts himself (Mikey realizing Leo is still spooked from his defeat at the hands of the Foot). Don climbs up anyway, just in time to see a shooting star come careening toward him. The “shooting star” demolishes the old house and lands in the lake. After Don gets his bearings, the Turtles investigate the lake, and are met by a giant robot. Raph jump-kicks the badly damaged machine, breaking it apart and revealing an unconscious woman within. The Turtles take her back to camp so she can recover.

Meanwhile, in space, the evil Moriah is infuriated that her ambush on Jhanna did not destroy her as planned. Moriah decides to wait for Jhanna to send a distress signal, then finish her off in person.

Back on Earth, Jhanna recovers, and after instantly learning English and recognizing that the Turtles are no threat, she tells her story. Apparently, on her planet of Slandon, after being elected by the people, the new ruler is required to defeat the previous in battle before they can take office. Jhanna was on her way to the agreed upon place of battle when Moriah unlawfully ambushed her. Jhanna sends a distress signal so she can be picked up and begins meditating for her inevitable battle.

Moriah intercepts the distress signal and lands in Northampton, bringing along with her a quartet of alien warriors to tip the scales in her favor (a rock-monster, a slug-monster, a teradactyl-man and a multi-eyed, big-mouthed thing).

Moriah and her henchmen find the campsite and the battle begins. Jhanna still wishes to win the election honorably, so the Turtles agree to fight only the alien monsters. Leo stabs the multi-eyed, big-mouthed thing in the head, killing it, then proceeds to help Raph with the slug-monster. The slug seems impervious to blades until Raph discovers that it dissolves in water. With Leo’s help, they drive it into the lake. Raph is then plucked-up by the teradactyl-man, but sends him spiraling down to earth, landing on the villain to cushion his own fall. Meanwhile, Mikey is getting clobbered by the rock-monster. The rock-monster hurls a grenade at Don, who bats it back at him like a baseball. The grenade lands in the monster’s mouth and explodes, killing him.

With the field evened, Jhanna tells the Turtles to stand down while she takes on Moriah. Moriah begins to take the upper hand in battle, but Jhanna knows that it is her duty to free Slandon from the tyrannical rule of Moriah’s family. Jhanna wins the battle, but rather than kill Moriah, she opts to brand her flawless face with a symbol of her defeat. Jhanna then beams her victory back to Slandon and she and the Turtles ditch Moriah to wallow in defeat.

Don watches over Jhanna as she rests from her battle before falling asleep himself. In the early hours of the morning, Jhanna receives the transport signal. She cuts off her warrior’s braid and lays it over the sleeping Donatello before disappearing.

In the morning, Casey and April arrive in their car to pick the Turtles up. Naturally, they don’t believe a word of their story. Don, however, is speechless as he looks wistfully into the sky, clutching the braid in his hand.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #12. Chronologically, the story continues in TMNT (Vol. 1) #15.

*Leo was “trashed by the Shredder’s goons”, as Mike puts it, in Leonardo (microseries) #1.

*This issue also featured a full-page pin-up advertisement for Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #5 by Kevin Eastman and Ryan Brown and a pin-up of Leonardo and Gizmo Sprocket by Michael Dooney and Peter Laird.

*This episode was adapted for the 4Kids TMNT cartoon as the season 4 episode, "The People's Choice".

Review:

“Turtles fight with honor!”

I had thought David Wise made up that awful battle-cry for the Fred Wolf cartoon, but nope, Leonardo shouts it in this very issue. Huh.

Anyway, the “Exile to Northampton” story arc consists primarily of one-shot stories that rely on the Turtles being in the right place at the right time for something weird to happen. Factoring in the Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) issues that take place in this timeframe, a few of the stories introduce recurring characters and villains… but most of them don’t. “The People’s Choice” is a story that doesn’t really offer anything lasting other than the knowledge that Michael Dooney is a kickass artist.

Considering all the subsequent outer space adventures the Turtles would go through, particularly during the Volume 4 era, you’d think that Jhanna might have made a comeback or something; the fact that they helped save a planet from another term of corruption and tyranny might actually be an important footnote in intergalactic politics. But like a lot of Mirage stories, it’s simply a one-shot with no impact whatsoever. The Turtles help Jhanna win her election and never see her again. Don is visibly smitten with her, possibly his first crush (that we know of), and nothing ever comes of it. “The People’s Choice” is an interesting story but it offers nothing in the grand scheme of things.

But taken as it is, as an isolated tale, it’s definitely “neat”. The electoral system of Slandon is certainly wacky, but a nice compromise between the terrestrial democracy we recognize and the stereotypical “barbaric alien ruling class” stuff we get so often in science fiction. There’s an election, sure… but you still gotta kill the other guy.

This is Michael Dooney’s first issue since TMNT (Vol. 1) #9 and you can really see his style evolve. While his Turtles aren’t quite at the model we recognize (they’re more beak than cranium, given really weird skull proportions), they’re practically there and Dooney’s sense of action staging and humor is top notch. He adds a lot of cartoony effects, like Xs in the eyes or swirls above the Turtles’ heads when they get knocked out and it strikes a nice balance between action and comedy.

Dooney is a very talented painter and he brings that skill to his inking (I’m pretty sure I’ve made this comment somewhere before in my reviews) and his inks are a gorgeous compliment to his pencils. There’s so much depth and dimension to the characters, particularly the heavy shadows, that really make the pages pop. And man, does he do metallic surfaces like a champ.

“The People’s Choice” is an issue with an okay story (you’ll learn to live with the “right place/right time” plot devices in Mirage’s TMNT comics because they do it all the time), superb art but no real necessity to any continuous narrative. So, in that last regard, I suppose it could probably qualify as “skippable”, but you really should check it out, anyway.

Grade: C+ (as in, “‘Catfight between Snow White and the Evil Queen’ is basically the whole premise of this thing”.)

TMNT & Other Strangeness overview UPDATE!

2011-11-11T09:43:00.000-08:00

My article, "TMNT & Other Strangeness: An Overview of the Palladium RPG Sourcebook", has been updated with some new info!

Turtle Fan Adam Winters recently contacted me with some info taken from The Rifter #9, Palladium's fanzine/newsletter from the late 90s. I was a bit slow in getting the info added to the end of my article, but I finally got around to it!

There's some great insight into the cancellation of "TMNT & Other Strangeness" as well as selections of unused artwork from the unpublished 2nd Edition... themed around Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, no less!

So check the addendum out at the end of the article, if you feel so inclined!

The Mission

2011-11-09T10:34:00.000-08:00

Originally published in: Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #52
Publication date: November, 2008

Story and art: Dan Berger

“The Mission”

Summary:

In Donny’s lab in the sewer lair, Mikey finishes equipping a high-tech, hermetically sealed “enviro suit”. Donny finishes uploading the last of the security codes and then wishes Mikey the best of luck on his dangerous mission.

With can of Comet and scrub brush in hand, Mikey engages the enemy: A toilet that looks like it has not been cleaned in years.

Turtle Tips:

*Personally, I like to place this story near the end of the “Early Years” era of my Mirage timeline, but it could really fit just about anywhere.

Review:

I think it was actually Tristan Jones’ idea to place “The Mission” near the end of the “Early Years” era of the Mirage timeline back when he gave it a once over for me during development. I recall being hesitant about placing it there at the time because I wasn’t sure I agreed with Donny having such advanced equipment at such a young age, but I kinda came to dig the idea when seeing it placed after “Junk Man”.

In that story, Donny encounters a sentient robot alien and, after coming to terms with one another, the alien helps Donny take a bunch of military techno junk back to the lair. It almost fits as a follow-up, seeing Donny use what he’d learned from the alien and what he’d acquired from the military scrap to create a suit of armor for the mundane task of cleaning a nasty toilet.

Of course, that is strictly my conclusion. You can place this thing wherever you want.

Anyhow, it’s just a two-pager by Dan Berger ending on a splash page of a toilet. It’s cute and all, but, you know. Not really something to discuss.

Grade: N/A (as in, “Now I can see why Splinter was in such a hurry to throw them at the Foot Clan; the Turtles really were just goofing around the lair like idiots with all their spare time”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #44

2011-11-07T10:26:00.001-08:00

Publication date: March, 2008

Plot: Jake Black and Steve Murphy
Script: Jake Black
Art: Dario Brizuela
Letters: Eric Talbot
Cover: Dario Brizuela
Frontispiece: Michael Dooney

“The Amulet”

Summary:

Frontispiece: A young Karai sits on a cliff overlooking a small Japanese village. She considers how frightening the battle between yin and yang and light and darkness is; how hard it is to maintain harmony. She knows that this battle is within us all…

In her small village in the rural forests of Japan, a young Karai prepares herself for a great quest. She contemplates the legend of Takashi, one of the greatest warriors of the Foot Clan. He wore an amulet around his neck as a symbol of his great skill, but one day he went insane and slaughtered his own soldiers. Haunted by their spirits, Takashi retreated to a cave in the mountains and committed seppuku (ritual suicide). However, the spirits of the fallen Foot Soldiers would not let him rest and trapped his soul inside his amulet. They then became elemental spirits, guarding the amulet within the cave, for the amulet could bring whoever possessed it all of Takashi’s skill (and madness).

Wanting to bring the amulet back to the Foot Clan, Karai joins with several other Foot trainees for a quest into the mountains to locate it. Along the way, several members of the group become concerned about Yoshikiku, whose zeal to recover the amulet has caused him to behave violently (particularly toward Hikaru).

Camping for the night, the Foot trainees are suddenly besieged by the spirits of the fallen Foot Soldiers, who have taken on the forms of a spectral dragon, tiger and spider. The trainees fight back, but all are killed save Karai, Yoshikiki and Hikaru. They escape the carnage into a cave and follow a winding series of tunnels. Hikaru races off ahead of his teammates, disappearing in the darkness.

Eventually, Karai and Yoshikiku happen upon the skeletal remains of Takashi, but Hikaru has beaten them to the amulet. Fueled by the belief that Yoshikiku wanted it all for himself, Hikaru is driven to madness and, with the skill of the amulet in his possession, beats his former teammates senseless. As Hikaru prepares to execute them, Karai and Yoshikiku escape from their bonds. Yoshikiku, overzealous though he was, truly did want to bring the amulet back to the Foot Clan to bring them greatness. Unfortunately, he lacks focus and is killed by Hikaru. Karai is next up to the plate, now driven by the urge to free Hikaru of the curse and avenge Yoshikiku’s death. Using Yoshikiku’s sword, she kills Hikaru, freeing both his spirit and Takashi’s from the amulet.

Gathering the corpses of her fallen teammates, she returns to her village. In the years to come, she hears tales of other warriors traveling to the caves to gain the amulet and perishing in the quest, refueling the cursed bauble with their tortured souls. She, however, considers that it wasn’t the amulet that made her great, but the strength she found within herself during her trials and tribulations. Standing before a fountain dedicated to her fallen teammates, Karai reflects on this.

Turtle Tips:

*Karai will appear again in TMNT (Vol. 1) #52.

*Karai is not the daughter of Oroku Saki in the Mirage series as she is in the 4Kids cartoon. As a matter of fact, she may even be older than Oroku Saki, as she has an adult-aged daughter by the time she reappears in TMNT (Vol. 1). As such, this is the earliest story in the Mirage TMNT timeline (disregarding time travel stuff).

*This issue also contained a back-up story, “The Lessons” by Dan Berger, and a bonus pin-up, “Patrol” by Eric Talbot.

Review:

Karai’s a character I don’t think I’ve really discussed at any sort of length on this site, yet. I suppose I was waiting until I got to “City at War” but shit, at this rate that’ll take a decade. So “The Amulet” seems like a good place to lay down my impressions of her.

In many ways, Karai was the perfect successor to the Shredder. Where the Shredder was a somewhat typical overlord-style super villain willing to throw his whole organization and all its resources away for a petty blood debt, Karai was the opposite. Far more tactical and level-headed, she ran the Foot more like a business and didn’t see the value in throwing away the lives of expensively-trained assassins on personal vendettas. If siding with the Turtles was the smart move to make at the moment, then she’d side with them.

Unfortunately, like a lot of characters, she never really exceeded her initial appearance and kind of petered out into obscurity or insignificance once “City at War” had concluded. She was absent from TMNT (Vol. 2) because there was no Foot involved in that series, she was conspicuously absent from TMNT (Vol. 3) with the occasional reference thrown out here and there, and by the time she came back for TMNT (Vol. 4), the volume was moving so slow that her subplot failed to reach any sort of fruition before Laird put the series on indefinite hiatus.

Her appearances in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2), seldom though they were, felt like a bit of a mixed bag. She was wildly out of character in “Silent Knight”, while stories such as “The Proposal” showed a darker and more malicious side to her that I didn’t especially care for. “The Amulet” is probably the best use of the character in this second volume of Tales of the TMNT, though that’s a bit of a hollow compliment, as she hardly has a personality in the story.

“The Amulet” is less of a thrilling look into the early years of Karai as it is an interesting peek into the Foot Clan and their trainees. Karai narrates the story but she is utterly dry about the whole thing, with her “honorable” personality (if you can call it that) preventing her from making any colorful observations. The issue reads very, very quickly despite being 27 pages and you don’t really feel like you know anymore about Karai as a person by the time you’ve finished than when you began.

Dario Brizuela is one of my favorite artists to contribute to Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2), unfortunately, “The Amulet” is probably one of his lesser offerings. All the members of the Foot trainees look identical. Even when they’re calling each other by name you have to stop and figure out who is who. When the cast is whittled down to just Karai, Yoshikiku and Hikaru, you STILL can’t tell which of the guys is which until someone says their name. There’s also a rather bad break in narrative flow where Hikaru supposedly goes running off ahead of the others, but we don’t see any of that and have to rely on Karai awkwardly describing the scene to us, as it apparently happened between the panels of a page.

Karai is a character who reached her zenith in “City at War” and had nowhere to go afterward; or at least no one took her anywhere interesting. “The Amulet” results in something of a “why bother?” story, as we learn nothing about her character or history that matters and it doesn’t enhance our perception of her in any meaningful way. If you’re into Foot-centric stories then it is kind of cool to see one completely from their point of view, and predating even the birth of the Turtles, but that’s about all the issue has going for it.

Grade: D (as in, “Did Brizuela have to take the ‘all Japanese people look the same’ stereotype this far?”)

TMNT Adventures #48

2011-11-02T10:54:00.001-07:00

Publication date: September, 1993

Main story:

Plot: Chris Allan and Dean Clarrain
Script/edits: Dean Clarrain
Pencils: Chris Allan
Inks: Brian Thomas
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman
Oxygen: Victor Gorelick

Back-Up Story:

Script: Dean Clarrain and Ryan Brown
Pencils: Jim Lawson
Inks: Eric Talbot
Letters: Gary Fields
Colors: Barry Grossman

Gary’s Gag Page

Script/art: Gary Fields
Edits: Dean Clarrain
Colors: Barry Grossman

Summary:

MAIN STORY:

“Out of the Blue (Into the Black)”

On Sarnath’s ship heading toward Dimension X, Leo details their battle with (and befriending of) Sarnath and the Turtles' subsequent reveal over national television to Raph and Ninjara. Something more interesting awaits them, however: a black hole. Don explains that black holes are stars that have collapsed in on themselves, curving space around them and becoming so gravitationally powerful that not even light can escape their pull.

Suddenly, they are attacked by the Imperial Aerwyl Fleet, who have mistaken Sarnath’s ship as belonging to some group called the “Nova Squadron”. The Aerwyl begin landing direct hits on Sarnath’s ship, inciting the Turtles and Ninjara to don pressure suits for safety. Sarnath guns down one of the Imperials as another flies out of control into the mouth of the black hole. The last ship, unfortunately, lands a critical hit, ejecting the Turtles and Ninjara into an asteroid field. Sarnath sends Qark away in an escape pod, asking the Turtles to look after his pet, as he drifts helplessly into the black hole.

The Turtles attempt to fight back against the remaining Imperial ship with their handheld laser blasters, but they haven’t the firepower to do any damage. Luckily, Nova Posse shows up in the nick of time, destroying the last Imperial ship and rescuing the Turtles, Ninjara and Qark. Inside, Nova Posse introduces themselves as Zebulon, Trip, Rave, Grotto, Exeen and their commander, Luna Azul. Apparently, they were formerly of the Imperial Aerwyl Starfleet, known as the Nova Squadron, but struck out on their own (hence the animosity from their former employers). They explain that the black hole they just encountered wasn’t there six months ago, and neither was a star; it simply appeared out of nowhere.

As Nova Posse approaches Stump Asteroid (where Cudley the Cowlick stands vigil with a fleet of ships), Trap gives them clearance to land. Stump and Sling come rushing out, but not to greet Nova Posse; they want to know when the Turtles plan to wrestle again. Raph cuts the crap and asks what Nova Posse is doing on Stump Asteroid. Stump explains that they’ve come to help defend them against the Imperial forces.

While the expositioning is going on, Don leaves to try and find a bathroom. As he inspects the many strange toilets, a bright light and grey hands appear before him. Later, when Leo comes to check up on him, Don is missing, leaving behind only an empty pressure suit.

BACK-UP STORY:

“Megadeath, One of Seven”

At a secret headquarters in an undisclosed location, four gun-toting weirdos open fire on a poster of the Mighty Mutanimals. They are the cyborg, Waster, the motorcycle-legged eyeball-headed freak, Dead-Eye, the skull-clad Lynch and their apparent leader, the grey-haired Fist.

Fist tells his men that it’s finally time to go after the real thing; it’s finally time to kill the Mutanimals.

GARY’S GAG PAGE

“What the Shredder did for a Living Before he was an Arch-Villain”

Before he was the Shredder, Oroku Saki was an employee of the Taco Hut, using his armor to shred cheese for an impatient shift manager.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #47. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #49.

*The Turtles last visited Stump Asteroid and it’s wrestlers in TMNT Adventures #37. Cudley the Cowlick was called from Earth to deal with a threat at the asteroid in TMNT Adventures #38.

*The Sons of Silence last appeared in TMNT Adventures #13.

*The Mighty Mutanimals last appeared in Mighty Mutanimals #9.

*Three members of the Gang of Four were originally created as villains for the unproduced Mighty Mutanimals cartoon before being introduced in TMNT Adventures. They had different names for the cartoon, too. Waster was called “Executor”, Lynch was called “Gunskull” (and was white, too) and Dead-Eye was called Guzzler.

Review:

The “Black Hole Trilogy” begins. While I generally don’t care for the sci-fi space epic side of the Turtles, I can endure it in limited doses. The outer space arc in Mirage’s TMNT and its subsequent adaptation for the 4Kids series suffered because it dragged on for way, way too long. The “Black Hole Trilogy”, thankfully, is nicely compacted into three installments that breeze by thanks to the fast pacing of the story. In that regard, it’s one of the more enjoyable space-Turtle stories, as it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

This opener for the story arc kind of hits the audience hard with exposition and set-up, as we encounter a lot of characters very quickly and have to hear their histories and motivations lickety-split. To Steve Murphy’s (Dean Clarrain’s) credit, he pulls it off rather well and the info-dumping is skillfully scattered about the issue so it doesn’t strike you all at once. Don’s stopping to explain the physics of a black hole to the audience was a nice way of filling the book’s educational requirement, and to my surprise, Don doesn’t dumb down any of the vocabulary, so it comes off as a perfectly in-character string of brainiac-babble, disguising the fact that it’s trying to teach kids something.

I was pleased with the even ratio of male-to-female members of Nova Posse. Usually, artists or writers will pull a “Star Trek” and make an all-male team with a single token female, so it was refreshing to see Murphy and Allan avoid that trend. In fact, the female members are the only ones that get to say anything useful!

Again, Murphy is really capitalizing on the solid universe-building he’s been doing since he started on the book. Not only do we have the mythos behind Sarnath initiating the story arc, but we’re reencountering Dimension X-ers Stump, Sling and their Intergalactic Wrestlers as well as the Sons of Silence, who haven’t been seen in several years. While new elements are being introduced, it’s all added to a strong foundation that’s been years in the making. While the space stuff isn’t my thing, I have to give credit where credit is due; TMNT Adventures has one of the most solid and consistent universes of any TMNT fiction.

The “Megadeath” arc gets underway, too, but in 4-page chunks it’s going to take awhile. At least three members of the Gang of Four introduced into this issue were created for use in the unproduced Mighty Mutanimals cartoon show. When the cartoon got scraped, they received new names and a few changes before being worked into the TMNT Adventures comic. Not much else to say yet, other than I question the taste in naming a hooded, gun-toting black guy “Lynch”.

Grade: B (as in, “But I’d like to see more of the wrestler seen on the poster on page 22: Li’l Puddle”.)

The Lessons

2011-11-01T20:04:00.001-07:00

Originally published in: Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #44
Publication date: March, 2008

Story and art: Dan Berger

“The Lessons”

Summary:

Down in the sewer lair, Splinter calls the pre-teen Turtles to him for the evening’s lesson. Holding a pebble in his hand, he says that if any of them can snatch it from him, they’re excused from their chores.

Donatello tries first, but is too slow. Michelangelo is badly off balance and misses. Leonardo makes a good effort, but telegraphs his move and fails.

Lastly, there is Raphael, who is taking forever to make an attempt. Nervously, li’l Raph asks what the rules of the game are. Before Splinter can finish saying “there are no rules”, Raph taps Splinter’s hand, bouncing the pebble into the air, where he catches it (much to Splinter’s shock).

Later, in the kitchen, Splinter is hard at work doing the dishes, considering to himself that being a sensei may be a more difficult task than he had anticipated.

Turtle Tips:

*This is one of the early “pre-teen Turtles” stories, though they’re wearing the regular bandanas instead of the full skullcap kind they’re normally shown wearing in these “early youth” stories.

Review:

As with “Awww… rats”, “The Lessons” is another cute little peek into the early years of the Turtles’ lives, brought to us by Dan Berger.

As with Berger’s similar cute comedy relief back-up strip, there isn’t a whole lot to say about it. The page where each Turtle makes their attempt to swipe the pebble and fails is a nice glimpse into their personalities; Don spends too much time thinking about his move, Mike is too clumsy and Leo tries too hard. Meanwhile, Raph succeeds because he “breaks the rules”, so to speak.

Not a major thing, but it showed how the Turtles’ unique personalities affected their training in both good and bad ways.

Berger’s art is Berger’s art, which is to say it’s very expressive and full of energy. As with “Awww… rats”, I suppose my one grievance is that Berger draws the pre-teen Turtles wearing their standard “robber mask” bandanas instead of the full skullcap kind, which they’re typically shown sporting in their early stories. He also doesn’t draw them looking particularly “childlike”; the only way you can really tell that they’re kids is the variation in scale when they’re standing next to Splinter. The sashes were a neat touch, though.

Grade: N/A (as in, “Now consider this, Splinter: if you let them order pizza for every meal, there’d be no dishes!”)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #51

2011-10-31T10:22:00.001-07:00

Publication date: October, 2008

Script/Art: Dan Berger
Tones: L. Jamal Walton
Letters: Eric Talbot
Cover: Dan Berger and Steve Lavigne
Frontispiece: Michael Dooney

“Night of the Living Gingerbread”

Summary:

Frontispiece: As the four Turtles trick-or-treat with Shadow and a giant Swamp Thing-like monster, they consider how Halloween is a holiday where otherworldly creatures come out for one night only. They consider it not only the best time of the year, but also their time of the year.

Its Halloween night and the Turtles are having a hard time putting Shadow to bed, as she insists they read “Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie” over and over and over. With his brothers passed out from exhaustion and Shadow showing no signs of wear, Mikey decides to save his own sanity by making up a new story for her. Spotting a stuffed gingerbread man, Mikey is inspired…

Down in the sewers, the Turtles receive a surprise visit from Renet, showing off her new outfit and time scepter. Unfortunately, she can’t figure the stupid thing out and mistakenly zaps the TMNT, sending them to another dimension. Arriving in a dark forest, the first thing they notice is a gingerbread man being attacked by zombies. The Turtles dismember the undead and the gingerbread man introduces himself as Gutwallow. He says that they’re in the land of Moonsorrow and the zombies belong to the Necromancer. Unfortunately, he can say no more as its Samhain Night and he needs to gather the mandrake root he was looking for and get going.

Confused, the Turtles decide to search for anyone who can send them home. Conveniently, they find a sign pointing toward the abode of the Chronomancer. The path, unfortunately, crosses werewolf country and the giant canines chase the TMNT to a sheer cliff face. The werewolves glimpse a forboding castle at the top of the cliff and scamper off. The Turtles wonder what they were so scared of as the wall behind them slides open and they are pulled into a cave by zombies. They’re in the lair of the Necromancer, now, and the hooded fiend zaps them with a paralyzing spell. Leaving them in his laboratory, the necromancer plans to turn them into zombie slaves.

Luckily, Gutwallow happens to be in the lair and uses the mandrake root he acquired to create an antidote for the TMNT’s paralysis. He leads them to the front door of the castle, which happens to be guarded by a huge tentacle-monster. In another swell coincidence, the monster happens to have a huge aversion to gingerbread and flees at the taste of Gutwallow. The gingerbread man tries to lead the Turtles back through the forest, but is plucked up in the claws of a dragon.

The Turtles chase the dragon to the ruins of an old castle, where they are attacked by a vampire and his brides. The bloodsuckers are immediately incinerated by the dragon, though, as the monster (named Puff), happens to be a friend of Gutwallow’s and was just happy to see him. Riding on Puff’s back, Gutwallow takes the Turtles to see the Great Oogly Moogly, who may be able to send them home. The kind wizard shows them an artifact he recently purchased from several dwarves who claimed it belonged to a princess: Renet’s time scepter. Figuring the “princess” to be Renet, they take the scepter and follow Gutwallow to the home of the dwarves.

Knocking on the door, they’re greeted by a very disheveled Renet. Apparently, she came to Moonsorrow after them but was jumped by a bunch of dwarves, who enslaved her as their new housekeeper. The dwarves suddenly break down the door and Renet decides they should just go already. Sending the Turtles back to the sewers, she returns to her home in Null Time.

The End.

But wait! Shadow wants to know what happened to Gutwallow. Thinking fast, Mikey grabs the stuffed gingerbread man and explains that the time scepter accidentally transformed Gutwallow into a doll and they’re still waiting to hear from Renet again before he can be restored. Shadow promises to keep Gutwallow safe from monsters until Renet comes back for him, and cuddling the little guy, falls asleep. As Mikey leaves, wishing Shadow a “Happy Samhain”, the gingerbread man slyly winks at the audience.

Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically speaking, the Turtles last met Renet in TMNT (Vol. 1) #47.

*Gutwallow is an original character, created and owned by Dan Berger, that originally appeared in a minicomic published in 1996 then proceeded to appear sporadically in comics such as Digital Webbing Presents for the next several years. The majority of Gutwallow’s appearances have been collected in a trade paperback titled “The Fury of the Furry”.

*Raph previously fought a werewolf in “The Howl”.

*This issue also contained a bonus pin-up, “Guest of Honor” by Dan Berger.

Review:

So… cute… so… sweet… going into… diabetic coma…

To be perfectly honest, I’ve never read any of Gutwallow’s other appearances so I don’t know anything about the character or his world beyond this little crossover story. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of him before reading this comic. No offense to Berger intended; there are probably lots of good comic book characters I’ve never heard of.

“Night of the Living Gingerbread” is another great display of how fundamentally Berger understands each of the characters, especially Michelangelo. While the Image series made a big deal about it, the Mirage series never went anywhere with Mikey’s love of writing and creative aspirations. This story was a nice use of that character element, as Mikey utilizes his imagination to craft a fun bedtime story for Shadow.

It’s also a nice spotlight on the relationship between Mikey and Shadow, as they were always shown to be closest in Shadow’s developing years. I was a little disappointed that in stories where Shadow is older (teenager or young adult), there’s very little interaction between them; Shadow seeming to have gravitated toward Raphael in her rebellious teenage years. It makes narrative sense, don’t get me wrong, but I always wanted to see Mikey’s reaction to “losing” his little princess. To sew this tangent up, it just seemed like a dramatic missed opportunity.

Anyway, Berger’s highly expressive and animated art style fits the fun and humorous nature of his script like a glove (surprise, surprise), though it’s also a good illustration of his darker skills that lean toward horror, with rotting zombies getting dismembered and such. Berger has always been a strange artist in that his style at a glance seems very “goofy”, yet it compliments many of the darkest and most dramatic TMNT stories ever written (“Leatherhead, Too”, “Cold, Cold Ice”, “Dark Shadows”). While his tendency to mix cartoony, squash-n-stretch visual gags with suspense and pathos might seem like an incongruous juxtaposition, there’s no denying that he always manages to strike the necessary balance between the two. It’s just one of the elements that gives Berger’s stories their unique identity and charm.

While this issue doesn’t so much mix the drama in with the humor, being mostly a comedy relief piece, it’s still a good display of his talents, as it combines darker fantasy with lighter fairy tale stuff. And he just draws an adorable Shadow. Seriously, read this issue back-to-back with “Dark Shadows”. It’ll break your heart.

A few parts of the story didn’t click with me so much and I’m not sure if it was because I’m not acquainted with the Gutwallow character or if it was an intentional “Mikey’s phoning it in” plot point. Why was Gutwallow in the lair of the Necromancer? Does he work for him? He maybe could have dropped a line somewhere mentioning his employer just for the sake of those who aren’t familiar with Gutwallow’s series, that’s all. But even if he was employed by the Necromancer, then why were his zombies attacking him?

“Night of the Living Gingerbread” is a very cute story with fun and energetic art. It may seem inessential on a narrative level, as it’s a total one-off, but I think it’s a great character spotlight for Mikey’ literary creativity (something Mirage elected to forget about) and his bond with Shadow.

Grade: B+ (as in, “But whatever happened to the Chronomancer? Was that just a clever ploy to trick people into visiting the Necromancer? Pretty sneaky”.)

TMNT (IDW) #3

2011-10-26T10:42:00.001-07:00

Publication date: October 26, 2011

Story: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz
Script: Tom Waltz
Layouts: Kevin Eastman
Art: Dan Duncan
Colors: Ronda Pattison
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Scott Dunbar
Associate Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

In an alley, Casey Jones and Raphael beat down a purse-snatcher until he surrenders is ill-gotten gain. Unfortunately, their attempt to return the purse to the old lady it was taken from doesn’t turn out so well, as she runs off screaming at the sight of Raph. Casey brushes it off; they’ll just turn the purse in at the nearest police station. On the way, Raph asks Casey why he didn’t stand up against his drunken dad if he’s such a good fighter? Casey explains that when his mom died of cancer a year ago, she made him promise to take care of his good-for-nothing father and to not fight with him. Casey’s been doing his best to keep that promise. Raph then asks him about the hockey mask. Casey explains that when he graduated from high school, he got a hockey scholarship at New York Tech. Unfortunately, he’s currently on academic probation, though he needs the scholarship to pay for rent and food since his dad doesn’t work. Unbeknownst to either of them, some members of Old Hob’s gang are spying on them.

Down in the sewer lair, Leo, Don and Mikey are busy sparring. As Splinter tutors them, Mike inquires just why Old Hob has been laying into them so hard, recently. Splinter tells them it is not their concern, as the past is the past.

Fifteen months ago, after Splinter, the turtles and the ooze were dropped into an alley by ninja, a stray cat attempts to eat one of the turtles. Splinter and the cat get into a fight, resulting in the cat getting its eye torn out. As soon as the cat retreats, though, the ninja return for the bag they dropped. Splinter manages to pull the bag with the ooze and three of the turtles down a nearby storm drain, escaping the ninja. The next morning, Splinter awakens mutated into an anthropomorphic and intelligent state. Likewise, he finds the turtles have, as well.

Back in the present, Leo, Don and Mikey head to the surface to search for their missing brother, Raphael, yet again. Tempers ignite as Don insists that they are never going to find him and should instead focus their energies on taking the fight back to Old Hob. Leo refuses such an idea, as they must follow their sensei’s command. The pair are about to go at it when Mikey breaks them up. Settling on a compromise, they agree to deal with Old Hob while searching for Raph.

While eating hot dogs, Casey and Raph are bumped into by a pair of hoodlums on the run from the cops. Giving chase, they’re lured to a fenced-off dead end where they discover it was all a set up. Casey and Raph then find themselves cornered by Old Hob and his gang.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #2. The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #4.

*The Turtles last fought Old Hob in TMNT (IDW) #1.

*This issue was originally published with five variant covers: Cover A by Dan Duncan, Cover B by Kevin Eastman, Cover RIA sketch version by Eastman, Cover RIB by Fred Hembeck and Cover RE exclusively for Jetpack Comics by Peter Laird.

Review:

This latest issue of IDW’s new TMNT title has confirmed a few of my suspicions regarding a part of the Turtles’ origin I was a bit turned off about: the short span of time between their mutation and the present day (a mere fifteen months). I won’t repeat my criticisms of that plot point, as I laid them all bare in my previous review; I’ll just say that it might be an uphill battle for me to appreciate that decision.

Ignoring that, though, issue 3 gives us a lot of action in the classic TMNT tradition. We’ve got the Casey/Raph team-up as they take their vigilante antics to the streets and we get the typical Turtle sparring match under Splinter’s watchful eye. All your standard Ninja Turtles material, so for anyone feeling put off by how “different” this series has been, you’ll probably find some comfort in this installment.

Casey’s origin was delivered through a bit of hammy exposition, sure, but I greatly enjoyed that he actually received something of an origin or at least a back-story providing a necessary motivation. When he first showed up in the Mirage series, he was just a guy who liked beating people up with no pathos or inspiration beyond a love of Clint Eastwood flicks. As much as I love Mirage Casey, he was a fairly shallow individual for the first several years until story arcs like “Shades of Grey” and “City at War” decided to investigate him on a more cerebral level.

Casey in the IDW series, though, puts his history on the table, giving us a clearer idea of where he’s come from and where he wants to go. The idea of a Casey Jones that has actual goals and aspirations beyond just being a vigilante is practically uncharted territory, here. A college scholarship? Actual skill at sports? Casey here seems like much less of a loser than his other incarnations; more of a well-rounded, psychologically adjusted individual. And yet he’s still got all the necessary Casey-isms. College scholarship, sure, but it was for an athletics program; his lack of book smarts has landed him on academic probation. And he still comes from extremely humble beginnings and still has a drive to do the right thing and protect the little guy (or little old ladies), which doubles as a convenient means to let out his pent-up aggressions (mostly stemming from having to deal with a drunken dad). This is probably the most complex version of Casey we have ever gotten. And yes, that's even after accounting for "almost went pro before I hurt myself" and "Hun burned down my dad's store".

As for the Turtles, I’m curious to see how this new timeline for their origin-to-present affects their relationships. They behave as though they don’t really even know Raph (having never met him since their mutation), which has me aching to see how they interact once the long-lost brothers finally meet-up. Will they immediately accept him? Will he want to be accepted? There’s definitely a catalyst brewing for Raph’s “outsider” attitude, and as with Casey’s back story, I appreciate that Waltz is making an effort to explain why characters behave the way they do and why they have particular personality disorders.

Leo and Don butting heads was certainly… a new experience. With Raph missing, it almost seemed like Don was trying to take his place as “the Turtle that wants to get into a fight, disobey Splinter and argue with Leo’s command”. Don’s lust for battle almost seemed a bit out of character for the Turtle, though again, the circumstances at least provide a motivation for such behavior. I liked Mikey playing peacemaker between the two; that was definitely something he’d do.

As for the next chunk of origin that’s been delivered to us piecemeal, well, it pretty much went down the way I expected: Splinter tears out the cat’s eye, infecting him with mutagen so he can become old Hob and then they all fall into a sewer and mutate. Nothing bad about the way it was done; just kind of telegraphed, that’s all. The Turtles growing into teenagers immediately, while it fits the fifteen month timeframe, it eliminates the idea that Splinter raised them as his children; a family dynamic I always felt was essential. They call him “father” in this issue, sure, but he’s only been their “father” for scarcely more than a year.

The third issue was good, though perhaps not as exciting as the previous one. The Bendis-style decompression is starting to eat away at me, too. I’m digging the story and I can tell that Waltz is setting a lot of ideas up well in advance, not just for plot but for characterization, but this definitely reads like it was “written for the trade paperback”; a popular contemporary style of writing that’s cool if you wait for the trades but not so much if you’re sticking to the floppies.

Grade: C+ (as in, “Casey must have gotten that scholarship in 1980, when they still used those types of hockey masks”.)

Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One!

2011-10-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

Originally published in: Shell Shock
Publication date: 1989

Written by: Don Simon
Pencils by: Don Simpy
Inks by: Don Simmott
Lettering by: Donnie Simek

“Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One!”

Summary:

It’s a tale of the Alternate Turtles! WHAT IF Splinter’s mad scientist brother, Splicer, had created his own quartet of fighting turtle mutants? Why, they’d be the Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One, of course. After creating his Turtles and giving them all complicated Italian names, Splicer finds that not only can he not tell them apart, but they can’t tell themselves apart, either.

So Splicer decides to give them all color-coded costumes (and a new set of weird names). Sadly, this is a black and white comic book, so that doesn’t help in the slightest. Splicer’s next attempt to tell them apart involves giving them all unique deadly weapons (and new names, again): a flamethrower, a missile launcher, a power saw and a ghetto blaster. But then they all start trading their weapons and accessories and Splicer just gives up.

To hone their skills, Splicer takes them to a lost world known as Dinosaur Peninsula. If they survive, they will be battle-hardened heroes. Exploring the island, the Madonna album blaring from the ghetto blaster attracts bunches of dinosaurs. The Turtles consider fighting back, but really can’t be bothered and are cool with being eaten. Suddenly, they’re rescued by Pteranoman and the Cave Babes, who scold them for bringing modern weapons to a clearly designated “no science allowed” peninsula.

Splicer shows up to apologize, but Pteranoman forgives them and offers the Turtles the opportunity to live in harmony on Dinosaur Peninsula, as they would never fit in on the outside world. As it turns out, though, the four identical Turtles are really four identical actors in lousy costumes, but they agree to stay anyway so long as the Cave Babe supply holds out. Then, out of nowhere, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arrive! They intend to beat the snot out of the four actors before they can sign a television cartoon deal and ruin their credibility as gritty indie comics characters.

As the Ninja Turtles chase the actors away, Splicer meets up with his brother, Splinter. Splicer asks Splinter how he tells his Turtles apart. Splinter reveals that he hasn’t a clue which Turtle is which; he just calls out a name and sees which one answers. Splicer offers to give Splinter a ride home, but Splinter declines; they’re only on a peninsula, after all.

Turtle Tips:

*This story was originally published in “Shell Shock”. To date, it has never been reprinted.

*All those names in the credits are goofy pseudonyms for Don Simpson. The characters of Pteranoman and the Cave Babes are owned by Simpson.

Review:

You know why I hate a lot of the whacky, non-canon, uber-surreal guest comics in TMNT? Because they aren’t funny. “Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One”, though? Now this 9-page strip is pretty damn funny.

Don Simpson, creator of Mega-Ton Man and occasional fill-in artist on TMNT Adventures, absolutely lambasts the Ninja Turtles as a concept and a media juggernaut, but never maliciously; always in a loving “nudge nudge” sort of way.

Simpson jabs the brand from their identical appearances right to their credibility-destroying children’s cartoon show. The comic timing and execution of the dialogue is fluid and perfect and the strip never feels like it’s trying too hard to be funny or weird. Contrast this with anything done by Mark Martin or Hedden and McWeeney, which are the definition of “trying way too fucking hard”. The humor flows naturally from the stupidity at the heart of the TMNT franchise and lasts only long enough for the jokes to run dry.

I’m afraid I’m not an expert on Don Simpson, though I know he was a very influential part of the 80s indie comics movement and his characters are still popular today. I don’t know if Pteranoman and the Cave Babes ever appeared in anything else, but he apparently had them trademarked if the legal note on the last page is to be believed. Simpson’s style fits this type of comedy relief comic more comfortably than it did his stint on TMNT Adventures, where he tried to adapt it to a more serious action-adventure tone and the “ugly” Turtle designs were simply too incongruous with the design aesthetic of the series. Here, though, it fits like a glove and some of the strongest humor comes in his expressions (the squinting, confused Splicer on page 1 is a favorite).

“Teen Techno Turtle Trio Plus One” is only available in the “Shell Shock” trade paperback collection, which is a smart buy for anyone interested in a large selection of rare and weird short TMNT strips. It’s definitely the funniest story in the whole book, which had a lot of lousy comedy installments.

Grade: A (as in, “And let’s be honest; a nunchaku or a sword have nothing on the deadly power of a Madonna album”.)

April O'Neil: The May East Saga #3

2011-10-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Publication date: June, 1993

Script: Stanley Wiater
Art & Letters: Bob Fingerman
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Dean Clarrain
Managing Edits: V. Gorelick

“Splinter’s Wicked Headache”

Summary:

Journeying toward Splinter’s brain, April uses her mystical powers in conjunction with the magic crystal to create air bubbles around hers and the Turtles’ heads. However, at their size, the brain is a large place. Luckily, every time May East speaks through Splinter’s body (arguing with Bookwurm), it leads April toward her.

Eventually, April and the Turtles find their way to May East, who is ready for them. Using her hair like tentacles, she seizes the Turtles and begins to strangle them. They can’t free themselves; only a serious vibration could save the day. Luckily, Bookwurm blows some dust off the cover of a book into Splinter’s face, causing him to sneeze.

The sneeze loosens May East’s grip on the Turtles and Splinter’s brain. Suddenly, both April and May East feel themselves beginning to enlarge. May East makes a break for it, only to be attacked by Splinter’s white blood cells. Reluctantly, April agrees to work with May East to protect herself and the Turtles from the blood cells by sharing the magic crystal and creating a forcefield. Unfortunately, by splitting the power of the crystal, they weaken its power. The only way they’ll make it out in time is for April to give May East the crystal completely. On the condition of “no funny business”, April hands the bauble over and all six of them escape Splinter’s body just in time.

Back to normal size, May East offers April the opportunity to join her in conquering the world. April declines, as she isn’t willing to pay such a terrible price. May East then disappears and the Turtles figure they haven’t seen the last of her. Bookwurm laments that she’s taking so many secrets of the ancient and mystical world with her as she leaves. April consoles him, saying that it’s better to face an ugly truth than a beautiful lie (what the fuck kind of non-sequitur is that?).

Later, at her office, April finishes up her journal, deciding that she is precisely where she needs to be in life. She swears by her ancestors, all of them, that she’ll use her knowledge to help her friends whenever they need it.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from April O’Neil: The May East Saga #2. April will appear again in TMNT Adventures #46.

*Again, the events of the entire “May East Saga” miniseries were retroactively rendered non-canon by TMNT Adventures Special #11.

Review:

After improving ever so little with the previous issue, Bob Fingerman’s artwork completely self destructs once again; falling back to the same levels of ugliness seen in the first issue of “The May East Saga”. This time, though, the repulsiveness stems equally from the absurdly heavy inking. No inker is listed in the credits and I can see why they’d want to remain anonymous; the characters have so many dark lines and hard shadows and deep-sewn wrinkles that you’d think you were reading a zombie comic. I mean, if you want a shorthand example of just how awful and grotesque Fingerman’s artwork is, just take a look at that cover. Compare Chris Allan’s April in the top left corner box with the hideous baboon-faced monstrosity just below her. They’re supposed to be the same character.

Wiater’s writing continues to be sub-professional and it’s hard to believe this was the same guy who wrote the decent “Donatello & Leatherhead” miniseries. That mini may not have been superb, but at least it was competent. There are long, drawn-out moments in this issue that amount to positively nothing, such as Bookwurm having an extended discussion with the possessed Splinter about finding a roadmap to the rat’s brain. He eventually produces a book with an anatomical schematic of a rat’s brain and it is presented as a major plot point. It is immediately discarded, though, as April simply finds May East by following the sound of her voice. I can’t think of a comic I’ve read with writing this sloppy.

And more-so than just the “small stuff”, if you take the entire “May East Saga” miniseries and break it down into a diagram of its plot and progression, just what the Hell was the whole point of it all? What did it accomplish and what direction was it trying to take? Because if you ask me, the thing had no direction whatsoever. April unearths her ancestor in the first issue and they turn into giant robots for some reason. Then her ancestor returns, possesses Splinter to steal his “knowledge”, gets kicked out when her spell wears off and then escapes to be dealt with another day. We never get an idea of who or what May East really is and how her blood connects to April. We never get to see any of her grand world-conquering schemes outside of sucking knowledge from a rat by shrinking herself and entering its brain. The entire storytelling structure is just fundamentally incompetent. Wiater must have been friends with someone at Archie or Mirage to get this published (likewise, Fingerman must have had some cronies to get paid for art this bad).

The retcon that “The May East Saga” was nothing but a nightmare actually works not just in the favor of the overall TMNT Adventures narrative (by purging it of this cancerous storyarc), but it actually benefits the reader's perception of this miniseries, too. As an action-adventure story intended to be taken at face value, “The May East Saga” is garbage for all the reasons stated above. However, as a surreal nightmare, you suddenly have an explanation for the ghoulish artwork, random plot points, meaningless asides, narrative inconsistencies and stream-of-consciousness pacing. This thing really does look and feel like a bad dream.

Grade: F (as in, “For pity’s sake, this may just beat out the Conservation Corps crossover as the ultimate low-point of TMNT Adventures”.)

April O'Neil: The May East Saga #2

2011-10-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Publication date: May, 1993

Script: Stanley Wiater
Art & Letters: Bob Fingerman
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Dean Clarrain
Managing Edits: V. Gorelick

“The Battle for Splinter’s Brain”

Summary:

Reflecting on what she learned about her heritage while visiting the uncharted island, April comes to the conclusion that she has more questions than answers. Sleepwalking through her journalist work, a sudden vision of May East leaves her with the resolve to get to the bottom of things.

Down in the sewer lair, the Turtles are making short work of several battle drones when a mysterious ninja in white slips past them and puts a knife to Splinter’s throat. The ninja turns out to be April, testing the skills the Turtles and Splinter have taught her. Splinter, however, sees that April has too quickly surpassed the skills she has been taught and believes some of May East’s influence may still be within her. Splinter has been researching May East, but his meager collection of archaic literature has been of little use. Leo suggests they pay a visit to the Bookwurm, but he’s suddenly interrupted by…

May East! She has tracked April down to the sewer lair in her quest to steal all Earthly knowledge to aid in conquering the world. Handily defeating the Turtles in battle, May East decides to torment April some more by shrinking down and possessing Splinter; intent on sucking his brain dry. The Turtles subdue Splinter and April recovers a small crystal that May East dropped while shrinking.

Carrying Splinter on a stretcher, the Turtles lead April through several subterranean passageways to the lair of the Bookwurm, located beneath the New York Public Library. Inside, they’re greeted by Splinter’s old friend, a hooded worm-man who immediately recognizes the taint permeating from April. Bookwurm has no magic abilities, though he has studied the subject thoroughly. He says that only a wizard can beat a wizard, so everyone looks to April. Picking up the crystal, April calls on her mystic heritage and shrinks herself and the Turtles down to microscopic size, sealing them in a magic bubble.

Bookwurm then places the bubble in Splinter’s ear so that they may travel into his brain and battle May East before she can absorb Splinter’s mind.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from April O’Neil: The May East Saga #1. The story concludes in April O’Neil: The May East Saga #3.

*Bookwurm previously appeared in TMNT Adventures Special #3, in the story "The Night of Monsterex".

*As previously mentioned, the events of this miniseries were retroactively rendered non-canon by TMNT Adventures Special #11.

*This issue also featured bonus pin-ups of Tattoo and Ninjara by A.C. Farley.

Review:

So this was… better…?

If completely removed from the awful bookending chapters of this mini, issue #2 by itself isn’t completely terrible and follows similar formulas of much of Steve Murphy’s (Dean Clarrain’s) TMNT Adventures work. April visits the Turtles, they’re attacked by a weird creature, they seek help from another mutant, The End.

So in that regard, issue #2 is probably the “best” of the miniseries, but in this case, “best” is equivocal to “not completely terrible”. There’s still a lot of unaddressed nonsense, like the Turtles having battle robot drones, and rookie inconsistencies, like Leonardo suggesting they go see Bookwurm and April later saying the suggestion was Donatello’s. The dialogue is really unnatural, too, as characters seem to be talking at each other instead of with each other; like they’re holding two different conversations. So even if this one issue follows a typical TMNT Adventures routine, it’s still a very badly written attempt.

Bob Fingerman seems to have marginally improved his character model for April, reducing the wrinkles in her face, shrinking her Mr. Magoo nose and reshaping her head so it isn’t quite as abstract. She’s still ugly, sure, but at least she doesn’t look like more of a mutant than the Ninja Turtles, now. One major problem I have with Fingerman’s April design that I failed to mention in my review for last issue is that he puts so much detail into her face, but none in her hair. Her hair ends up looking like this weird, solidly-colored, two-dimensional blob resting on top of her skull. Thankfully, once April dons her ninja hoody near the beginning of the issue, you don’t have to look at it anymore and what few strands of hair that stick out from underneath actually have inking to them.

There’s just nothing nice to say about this miniseries other than, um, I dug the bonus pin-ups by A.C. Farley included in the back of the book? If you wanna see his takes on Ninjara and Tattoo than that’s the only reason I can suggest picking up this issue at a flea market.

Grade: D- (as in, “Does May East have to wear that skull-bra? She has the body of the old lady from ‘The Shining’. I really don’t need to see her cleavage,”)

April O'Neil: The May East Saga #1

2011-10-19T11:38:00.001-07:00

Publication date: April, 1993

Script: Stanley Wiater
Art & Letters: Bob Fingerman
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Dean Clarrain
Managing Edits: V. Gorelick

“Lost Island of Past Lives”

Summary:

While delivering a news report on a top secret, uncharted island now revealed to the public following the end of the Cold War, April becomes entranced on air and mumbles the word “Maiest”. Watching from the lair, Splinter recognizes the word as being one of ancient power and senses April might be in danger.

Traveling across the ocean via hovercraft, April isn’t thrilled that the Turtles and Splinter “just happened” barge in on her as she was leaving on her vacation to the mysterious island and “insisted” they come along. April is acting very short with all of them, though Splinter suspects there’s more to her behavior than a nasty temper. Arriving on the island, Splinter tells the Turtles to give April the privacy she demands (while he secretly follows her).

April traverses the jungle and is drawn to an ancient Oriental temple. Entering, she awakens a mummified, dark-haired doppelganger of herself; an evil sorceress from the past who also happens to be April’s ancestor. She’s been waiting for April to wake her up for centuries and, knocking April out, hooks her up to a brain-drain machine that will fill her in on all of Earth’s knowledge since her entombment. Splinter then bursts in and tries to stall the sorceress, who happens to be his equal in martial arts. The Turtles then barge in and the sorceress (introducing herself as May East) gulps down a magic potion, transforming herself into a giant robot.

As the Turtles leap onto her and accomplish nothing, April awakens. Splinter tells her that, as May East’s descendant, only she can take the risk necessary to defeat the witch. April gulps down the magic potion and also transforms into a giant robot. The two robots do battle until the potion wears off and they melt.

After April comes to, restored to normal, the Turtles follow May East’s tracks back to her temple. They find the vaulted door sealed tight and Splinter tells them not to worry, as her menace is no longer a threat.

Back on the hovercraft, April considers what she’s learned about her heritage and that she may have been predestined to meet the Turtles and join in on their insane adventures.

Turtle Tips:

*For April, this story is continued from April O’Neil #3. The story continues in April O’Neil: The May East Saga #2.

*For the Turtles, this miniseries likely takes place between TMNT Adventures #41 and TMNT Adventures #42.

*When originally written, this story was intended as canon; May East even received an article in TMNT Mutant Universe Sourcebook #2. However, its events were retconned into nothing more than a nightmare April had in TMNT Adventures Special #11.

*In a similar jab at this terrible, terrible story, TMNT Adventures #58 featured Michealangelo cleaning up garbage in the sewer and among the many articles of trash he’s crumpling up and throwing away is a copy of “The May East Saga”.

Review:

Wow, what a terrible comic “The May East Saga” is on every front.

The first “April O’Neil” miniseries by Steve Sullivan and Chris Allan was an excellent story that set April up as her own independent character with her own supporting cast, her own motivations and her own potential solo storylines. If anything, it seemed like a great start to what could have either been a regular series of follow-up minis or even her own solo title.

Then “The May East Saga” came along and fucked everything up, flushing all the potential the previous mini had earned right down the toilet.

Wiater decides to embrace the wackier, more surreal side of the Turtle universe, which isn’t inherently a bad thing, except that the story is amateurishly paced and full of inconsistencies. May East makes it clear that only she has the power to awaken April after hooking her up to that stupid brain-drain device. Yet, after she turns into a giant robot, that plot point vanishes and Splinter wakes April up as if she’d been taking a nap. And don’t try to figure out how the Turtles travelled from New York to an island in the Orient entirely by hovercraft (and don’t bother asking where they got the hovercraft, either).

But even worse than Wiater’s script, the real killer is Bob Fingerman’s grotesque artwork. The Turtles look horrifically deformed; possibly the ugliest we’ve seen them since the issues drawn by Don Simpson. Uglier than that, though, is April-herself; who looks like she’s pushing middle age or older. And it’s not just all the inexplicable wrinkles decking her face, either. She’s suddenly got this huge, bulbous nose, bushy eyebrows and Mick Jager lips. And she couldn’t be rocking more mascara if she tried.

The art-style is just positively repulsive.

There’s a fine line between “weird” and “stupid” and it’s a difficult one to tread. “The May East Saga” doesn’t even come close to treading it, though, and is just flat-out stupid to read and hideous to look at. And we’ve still got two more issues to go.

Grade: F (as in, “For a moment I was going to question how a sorceress who predates the alphabet can have an ‘M’ on her robot’s chest, but then I remembered she predates robots, too, so why even bother asking”.)

Merdude vs. Ray Fillet #3

2011-10-17T11:17:00.001-07:00

Publication date: December, 1993

Script: Darlin’ Dan Berger
Pencils: Merry Michael Gaydos
Inks: Brainy Brian Thomas
Letters: Glitterin’ Gary Fields
Colors: Blazin’ Barry Grossman
Edits: Defiant Dean Clarrain
Lord Emperor: Vivacious Victor Gorelick

“The Last Tsarnian: Introducing Bloho”

Summary:

On the ocean floor, Ray Fillet is battering the Hell out of a confused Merdude, screaming his murderous intent.

But the story actually starts 24 hours ago, on the distant planet Granite (in the Bizzy Galaxy). The League of Justice, operating out of the city Sinom, has condemned Bloho the Main-Worm to eternal banishment for his crimes against ass Tsarnians. Bloho swears vengeance as he is teleported to parts unknown. At the same time, on Earth, Armaggon plots his destruction of the Mutanimals and all teenage mutants.

At the volcano island HQ of the Mutanimals, the team prepares to get to work finishing up the interior. Mondo Gecko asks where Ray Fillet has gone and Leatherhead explains that he’s shooting the breeze with Merdude.

In the undersea castle of Merdude, he and Ray Fillet are discussing marine biology and other boring crap. Merdude feels compelled to tell Ray his origin and here it is: 5,000 years ago, Merdude was a boy named Alim who lived in an island village. His father was a great fisherman whom he wanted to emulate. One day, while secretly taking a boat out to see, a strange flying saucer came wizzing by and dumped a cylinder in the water, turning the sea green and bubbly. Just then, Alim caught a giant coelacanth that landed right on him, tipping his small boat. Alim and the prehistoric fish fell into the poisoned water and Alim found himself transforming into a fish-man.

Ray explains that Merdude may very well be the first Earthling to ever be affected by alien mutagen. But more importantly, the news that Alim is 5,000 years old means that Ray and all others affected by mutagen may live just as long.

Outside the castle, Bloho materializes. Looking for some action, he decides to possess Ray and do some damage. Latching onto the back of Ray’s neck, Bloho seizes control of his body and begins attacking Merdude. The two take their battle outside, where Armaggon secretly watches, waiting to see if they kill each other and save him the trouble. 12 hours later, Bloho defeats Merdude with a cheap shot. Armaggon chooses that as the best time to strike and punches Ray in the back of the neck, inadvertently rendering Bloho unconscious and detaching him. Bloho then sinks down a deep crevasse, where he lands on the neck of the comatose Naughtikus.

Ray comes to and defends himself against Armaggon. Having witnessed the whole thing, Merdude realizes Ray was under Bloho’s control and comes to his friend’s aid. By accident, Merdude damages Armaggon’s portable timeslip generator, causing the shark to vanish into time and space. Back at the castle, Ray tries to apologize for the whole ordeal, but Merdude tells him to think nothing of it (though he could use help repairing his damaged home).

Elsewhere, in some weird galaxy, Armaggon floats around helplessly, pouting to himself.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Merdude and Mondo Gecko #2.

*Naughtikus was defeated in Merdude and Michaelangelo #1. Despite the cliffhanger, neither Bloho nor Naughtikus are ever seen again.

*Merdude’s real name previously had been “Jacques”, conflicting with his real name given in the Fred Wolf cartoon, “Alim”. Dan Berger patches that inconsistency up, by revealing that Merdude’s current real name is Jacques while his real-real name is Alim.

*I get the feeling this was originally supposed to be titled “Merdude vs. Man Ray” to keep the alliteration of the previous titles going, but was changed to “Ray Fillet” as that was the character’s merchandising name. Just a hunch.

*This issue also featured a bonus pin-up of Armaggon by Matt Roach and Ryan Brown.

Review:

So the surprise miniseries of 1993 comes to a conclusion! “Surprise” to me, anyway, as I hadn’t expected a mini about someone like Merdude to be so good or so intertwined with the ongoing narratives of TMNT Adventures and Mighty Mutanimals.

Of the three issues, though, I feel that this one was probably the weakest, hinging primarily on an already dated parody of a DC comics character and a single fight scene between two aquatic mutants. Armaggon, who was seemingly being built up as the major antagonist of this story, winds up having his threat fall completely flat, appearing for only a few panels and not accomplishing any competent villainy. I get the feeling Berger was writing him for laughs, which is fine, but it’s kind of disappointing to see a major villain from TMNT Adventures get reduced to comedy relief status by his second story arc.

I liked Merdude’s origin and I appreciated Berger’s efforts to harmonize his conflicting “real names” between the cartoon and the comic. And eliminating the vague references to “Atlantis” (Merdude and Eowithe were shown speaking Atlantean in the previous issue) clears up any incongruities with how Atlantis was portrayed in the "Donatello and Leatherhead" miniseries. Unfortunately, Merdude’s wholly unique origin as a creature of mutagen instead of a “natural” mutant makes characters of similar appearance, like King Fish, hard to rationalize. Before, I simply thought he was of the same race as Merdude (despite Merdude claiming he was the last member of his own race in his first appearance). But apparently, by “race”, he meant “tribe of ancient human villagers”, so how the heck King Fish fits into that I can’t say. Likewise, I presumed Eowithe and the other Mermaids to simply be females from Merdude’s mer-race, but that’s not the case, either.

There just seem to be a lot of unrelated flipper-people paddling around the ocean in TMNT Adventures.

Still, if you’re fans of both aquatic mutants, and you’ve always wanted to see them duke it out, then you’ll probably get more out of this story than I did. The fight goes on for several pages, including a two-page spread, and Michael Gaydos’s art is very good. I definitely wish the guy had produced more work for TMNT Adventures. Unfortunately, by 1993, the title was declining in popularity and the only other miniseries produced after this one was the finale “Year of the Turtles”.

While Armaggon’s menace takes an embarrassing downward spiral and Merdude’s origin creates more inconsistencies than it fixes, Berger’s ever-present sense of humor and Gaydos’s exciting art makes it all work out in the end. The Merdude miniseries sets up big things for the Mutanimals that never materialize, alas, but it’s fun to see what “could have been” had Steve Murphy (Dean Clarrain) not been so hot on slaughtering them all the moment the TV deal fell through (in fact, this issue was published at the same time as the “Megadeath” arc that saw all the Mutanimals killed).

If you’re only looking for the bare essentials of TMNT Adventures, I’d say that this is a necessary read.

Grade: B- (as in, “But c’mon, Keith Giffen’s Lobo miniseries was pretty awesome, back in the day”.)