Publication date: June, 1991
Originally published by: Dark Horse Comics
Art and story: Bob Burden
Editing and lettering: Roxanne Starr
Assisted by: Rod Whigham, Pat St. Amour, Joe Pruett and
Marsha Jense
“The Fearless Umpire Killers”
Summary:
The Mysterymen have successfully routed out a hiding
place being utilized by a gang of zombies (who had disguised themselves with
people masks). Reporters converge on the
scene and interview the Sphinx and the Shoveler, who say that there may be a
connection between the zombies and the Vile Brotherhood. Inside the building, Mr. Furious takes care
of the last zombie, hurling it out a window.
As they take one of the zombies hostage, a human rights activist, Dr.
Hissel, registers his displeasure with the excessive force employed by the
Mysterymen. As he tries to soothe the
injured zombie, though, the corpse hurls him across the New York skyline. Stunt Fly chases after him as Mr. Furious
makes a televised threat to the Vile Brotherhood.
Down in the sewer lair, Leo, Don and Mike are watching a
news report on TV. One of the stories
involves the recent disappearance of Frankenstein’s disembodied head from the
Museum of Natural History. A former
employee explains that the head came in with a shipment of artifacts that were
saved from Nazi destruction during WWII.
The head, still alive, eventually learned how to roll like a beach ball
and escaped. The Turtles then watch a
report on the recent activities of Flaming Carrot and the Dark Avenger (whom
the media mistakes as “Bread Boy”). The
Turtles recognize his fighting style as Raph’s and, thinking their brother has
abandoned them to join the Mysterymen, rush to the surface to get answers.
Elsewhere, Flaming Carrot and the Dark Avenger are still
on the prowl for Vile Brotherhood activity.
All they find, however, are a pair of broken breakdancers (they danced so
hard they broke their own spines).
They’re approached by Leaf-Blower of the GI-Jims, a Canadian group of
superheroes. Leaf-Blower asks if they’ve
seen any of the Fearless Umpire gang, as they’re rumored to be in New
York. They answer in the negative, and as Leaf-Blower disappears, Flaming
carrot decides to head back to his hideout and consult his crime computer about
the Fearless Umpires.
On the streets, Mystic Hand is giving driving lessons to
the alien Mysteryman, Screwball. They
see a pair of suspicious individuals on the sidewalk and Screwball asks them if
they’re terrorists. The two men shrug
their shoulders, lift up their jackets and reveal tons of guns and
explosives. Mystic Hand compliments
Screwball on his fine work.
At the hideout, Flaming Carrot consults his "computer"
(a rolodex) and brushes up on the history of the Fearless Umpires. They were defeated by the Apprehenders in 1961,
but resurfaced in 1982 under the leadership of Robert Babo, a former
performance artist. Recruiting other
disenfranchised art students, he’s been using the Fearless Umpires to commit
bizarre and meaningless crimes ever since.
Flaming Carrot wonders where they can track the Umpires down and Dark
Avenger recommends the Umpire State Building.
At the empty building where Flaming Carrot rescued
Raphael earlier that evening, the two weird-os with detachable limbs and
extending eyes (identified as the Vague Dudes) usher a skeleton into their
quarters. They see that Raph has escaped
from beneath their amnesia ray. The
Vague Dudes and the skeleton then laugh maniacally.
At Mysterymen HQ, Mr. Furious and Big Dipper are shaking
down a hood for clues on the Vile Brotherhood.
The hood says that the Mysterymen came to New York City a week early;
that the Vile Brotherhood were planning their crimewave for NEXT week. Now that the Mysterymen are in town, they’ve
cancelled the scheme altogether.
Disgruntled, Mr. Furious and Big Dipper head for the nearest bar to grab
a drink, unaware that the Ninja Turtles are watching them from the shadows.
At the Empire State Building, Flaming Carrot and Dark
Avenger take out some Umpire guards and steal their uniforms. Infiltrating the meeting, they sit in on Babo’s
speech to his gang. He intends to
levitate the building and steal it from New York. One of the Umpires asks if they’ll ransom it
and Babo explains that they don’t commit crimes for profit, but for the sake of
art. He then introduces the mastermind
of the scheme: Frankenstein’s Head.
Frankenstein’s Head, having spent decades in a museum, is now well-learned
in the mystic arts (though he still yearns for a new body) and assures the
Umpires that he can levitate the building.
Giving Dark Avenger a card with the Mysterymen’s address
and phone number on it, and a bubble pipe that the Mysterymen will recognize as
his own, Flaming Carrot dispatches his sidekick to go get back-up. While Dark Avenger is doing that, Carrot
attempts to stall the Umpires with a game of tag.
Dark Avenger attempts to call the Mysterymen, but the
Spleen fails to hear the answering machine due his headphones playing music too
loud. Dark Avenger decides to go to
their headquarters, but he’s suddenly delayed by the Ninja Turtles. There’s a brief scuffle, but Dark Avenger
calls it off when he realizes that the Turtles look exactly like he does. He then pulls off his mask, revealing himself
to them as Raphael (though he doesn’t know it).
Turtle Tips:
*This story is continued from Flaming Carrot (Vol. 1) #25. The story concludes in Flaming
Carrot (Vol. 1) #27.
*This issue also featured a “Flaming Carrot Pop Quiz” and
a “Hey Kids! Meet the Mysterymen!” back-up strip by Burden and Starr.
Review:
A better issue than the last installment. While I still don’t find Burden’s brand of
humor funny, I’m coming to enjoy some of his story-telling techniques. The way each bit of nonsense flows into the
next, sending the characters on the trail of the villains, is actually pretty
fun to follow. It sort of reminds me of “The
Great Piggy Bank Robbery” or other screwball cartoons, where the plot feels “made-up
as they go”. Just, you know. Without the jokes.
I haven’t read enough Flaming Carrot comics to know who
half these Mysterymen are, though most of the members featured in the movie are
accounted for here (just missing the Bowler, Blue Raja and Invisible Boy, I
think). Given that this is a Flaming
Carrot comic first and a Ninja Turtles crossover second, the TMNT take a
backseat to the ongoing plot of the book they’re guest starring in. The issue is punctuated with random gags and
segues; some more fully conceived than others.
The humanitarian doctor threatening the Mysterymen with brutality
suits getting chucked across the city was pretty groan-worthy. I’ll admit, though, that the bit with
Screwball and Mystic Hand spotting the terrorists got a good smirk out of
me. I think it was the way the
terrorists just shrugged and gave up so easily.
In the opening editorial, Burden explains that in order
to get this issue out early, he had to call in a quartet of “assistants” to
help him with the art (to the point where they produced 9 pages in two
days). So with that in mind, I don’t
know how much of this thing Burden actually drew. At the very least, Burden properly credits
his assistants who helped him on the art and even challenges the readers to try
and figure out which pages were done by him and which were done by his
assistants (I’m not familiar enough with Burden’s style, so I was unable to
figure it out). It’s a nice show of
integrity on Burden’s part. So often in
the industry, star artists will credit an assistant for “backgrounds” when the
reality is the “assistant” ghost-drew the whole issue for them (Pat Lee was
perhaps the most notorious scam artist in this regard).
If there’s one minor thing I’ve liked so far about this
comic, it’s that Burden rather defiantly uses trademark names in references,
such as name-dropping Marvel and DC characters as coexisting in the Flaming
Carrot’s universe or having actual beverages like Sprite appear in the book (as
a small plot point, no less). Now ‘n
days, everybody’s so afraid of getting sued, you can’t even reference “McDonald’s”
anymore.
Anyway, one issue of this left.
Grade: C+ (as in, “Casanova Frankenstein was a better
villain than Frankenstein’s Head. Just
sayin’.”)
