Publication date: October, 1991
Story and Art: Riche Hedden and Tom McWeeney
Cover color: Guy Romano
“Spaced Out! Part
3”
Summary:
As Eastman and Laird introduce the story, Bessy and the
bull she fell in love with last issue share a romantic evening together.
Back in Simpletown, the pickup carrying Raph,
Jethro and the two aliens crashes through the barricade and scatters the
townspeople. Raph and Jethro are ejected
through the windshield and into the safety of a nearby comic shop, while the
aliens start firing their lasers at everyone in hopes of world domination. Their rayguns break, though, and they’re
attacked by the townspeople. Raph has a
crisis of conscience, wondering if the aliens are worth saving considering all
the trouble they’ve caused. However, he
realizes that sales will plummet if they die (yeah right) and decides to save
them. Raph bores all the townspeople to
sleep with a dissertation on man’s capacity for good vs. man’s capacity for
violence, then grabs the aliens and hightails it out of town in the pickup.
They find the US Government airlifting the flying saucer
away and covertly follow. They’re
eventually led to a top secret base and sneak in. Meanwhile, Colonel Bullmoose welcomes
President Bush to the base and shows him to where the “aliens” (the Old
McDonalds and their dog) are being held.
The sinister Professor Eggbert is tormenting the old timers in the guise
of an interrogation. Raph and the real
aliens watch from the air vents, but the squeak of a rat scares them all out
into the room with the military. Colonel
Bullmoose shows his true colors, begging the “alien crocodile” Raph to eat the
President first. Professor Eggbert, in
turn, bumps into his own torture machine and is electrocuted.
President Bush surrenders and promises to give the aliens
fuel for their flying saucer. While he
cannot surrender the Earth to the aliens, he does give them to the deed to
Idaho. Satisfied with Idaho, the aliens
pile into the flying saucer with Raph and zoom off.
Finally realizing he doesn’t know their names, Raph asks
the aliens what they’re called. They say
that they’re “Nim” and “Rod”. With the
sun rising and the adventure over, Raph tells Nim and Rod to say hi to all
their friends at the frat for him. Nim
and Rod reveal that they’re the only two members of the frat and the whole
adventure was pointless. Before Raph can
strangle them, Nim and Rod beam him back down to his bedroom in the Northampton
farmhouse.
Exhausted, Raph attempts to get some long overdue
shuteye. Splinter barges in and whacks
him on the head with his staff, telling Raph it’s his turn to milk Bessy this
morning. Raph suddenly realizes he
forgot all about Bessy.
At the McDonald farm back in Simpletown, Bessy and the
bull watch the sunrise and smoke some cigarettes, having finished what I can
only presume was a night of satisfying bovine intercourse. Nim and Rod weep for such a happy
ending. Fans weep for the $8.25 they
wasted on these three issues.
Turtle Tips:
*This story is continued from TMNT (Vol. 1) #39. The Hedden/McWeeney incarnation of the
Turtles would make one more appearance in TMNT Special: The Maltese Turtle.
*Having been published during the TMNT (Vol. 1) “guest
era”, this issue is not a part of the Mirage TMNT continuity “proper”.
*This issue also contained a bonus comic, “Rockin’ Rollin’Miner Ants (feat. The TMNT)” by Ben Crayford and Mike Libby.
Review:
If my “reviews” for the last two installments in this
trilogy haven't tipped you off, I am NOT a fan of “Spaced Out”. Really, though, I just didn’t think each of
these issues deserved an individual review as I’d only be repeating the same
things over and over again, so it’s better to get it all done in one.
Look, I liked TMNT #34.
It was an enjoyable oneshot story.
But whatever happened to Hedden & McWeeney between TMNT #34 and the “Spaced
Out” arc, it was definitely a change for the worse. Their style is now unabashedly silly and
surreal and their ideal mode of storytelling is the crutch of all lesser indie
comics creators: “Stream-of-consciousness ran-dumb bullshit”. “Spaced Out” is nothing but a string of goofy,
unfunny jokes discharged in rapidfire succession with no point or
direction. It’s just one insipid gag
after another until they’ve filled three issues.
And I suppose that’s the real travesty of Hedden &
McWeeney’s “Spaced Out” arc. It’s three
fucking issues.
I mean, there are a handful of amusing visual gags in
this arc. No knee-slappers, to be sure,
but a couple panels that made me smirk.
Unfortunately, all the “A material” is spread out between agonizing
stretches of corny gags and inane running jokes, none of which are even
remotely clever, much less legitimately funny.
If Hedden & McWeeney had shrunk the storyline down into a single
oneshot issue, “Spaced Out” might not have been so bad. Even if a reader didn’t find the “A material”
amusing, it would have only been one issue and that’s pretty harmless, all
things considered. But no. They decompressed this shit out to three
meandering, miserable issues and it just doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to
stop.
A part of me feels guilty about ragging on Hedden &
McWeeney like this, not just because I enjoyed their first TMNT guest story,
but because the pair are sincerely GOOD cartoonists. It’s not just the zany and unique style they
employ, but all the fundamentals of good cartooning can be found in their art;
from the layouts to the sensation of motion to the use of perspective. These guys KNOW what they’re doing and they’re
GOOD at it.
They just aren’t very funny.
At any rate, while I'm not it's biggest fan, I certainly prefer this weird, surreal style
to Tom McWeeney’s current artwork. He’s
adopted a woefully generic “manga” look and it just reeks of insincerity and
pandering to contemporary trends. Observe:
So as you can see, my problem really isn’t with the
artwork or even the silliness. That’s
all well and good. My problem with “Spaced
Out” is that instead of getting one potentially humorous issue, we got three
painfully unfunny issues that drag and drag and drag. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than watching a joke absolutely fucking DIE, but the comedians don’t
realize it and just stretch it out for what feels like an eternity. I can only imagine what it must have been
like for TMNT readers back in ’91, having to suffer through four months of THIS
(to add insult to injury, Hedden & McWeeney ran late and August had to be
skipped without a book).
I regard “Spaced Out” as the ultimate low of the Mirage
TMNT comic book history. And to this
day, whenever I think of the Vol. 1 “guest era”, I think of THIS comic. And it gives me unpleasant chills.
Grade: Triple F (“For all three issues, since I didn’t
grade the last two until now”.)
