Monday, August 11, 2014

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Review

Like $97million dollars worth of other people, I spent this weekend watching the new TMNT film.  And like $97million dollars worth of other people, I made a huge mistake.

Here's my full review of the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film at Adventures in Poor Taste.

When my review hit 3 Word pages, I decided it was time to call it quits, but I still don't feel I covered even close to all the problems with this film.  And holy cow, there are a lot of them.  It's the most bewilderingly bad piece of scriptwriting since Revenge of the Fallen.

And like the Transformers movies, no amount of bad reviewing is going to keep this thing from being a box office success (the sequel has already been greenlit).  So I'm just gonna preach to the choir.


John Pannozzi said...

I was hoping that you would review the previous movies before this one, but if review them afterwards, that's fine too.

turtle titan said...

Amen brother. Amen

Adam Winters said...

The big difference for me between TF: Revenge of the Fallen and TMNT 2014 is that I was mentally unable to even follow the plot of TF2 throughout the whole movie. At various points, I had no idea why certain characters were in certain locales.

With TMNT14, the plot was at least very simple... simplistic even. You are clearly aware of what everybody wants, even if they act like idiots (poorly written and shallow characterized ones at that) trying to achieve their goals. And at the expense of the narrative, the characters either have too much shared backstory (April + Turtles + Sachs) or too little shared backstory (Splinter + Shredder, Karai + everybody). Plus... Shredder's plot totally rips off the Lizard's mutagenic scheme from Amazing Spider-man.

The villain complex (is Sachs or Shredder the featured threat?) and the fact that the film ripped off the IDW origin minus the reincarnation twist also goes too far in asking the audience to suspend their disbelief in science-fiction plausibility (textbook + kata practice = ninja mastery).

But... I did enjoy it. And that's something I can't say for Transformers 2-4.

Kilowog said...

Is Michelangelo-Michelangelo related to Leonard-Leonardo?

/clerks show said...

Watched Ninja Turtles '90 for the first time in 20 yrs last night. It's amazing how well it's aged (aside from a Moonlighting reference). The turtles look adorable, rather than ugly, and I was surprised by how acrobatic they were, considering they were big, bulky suits.

The big thing that movie had that the new one doesn't is some time to let the characters interact and develop on screen. Turtles 2014 desperately needs to slow down to give the Turtles some time to be fleshed out as characters.

I love the casting of Turtles '90, and it's a much better movie overall.