TMNT Micro-Series #7: April

Publication date: August 29, 2012

Script: Barbara Randall Kesel

Art: Marley Zarcone

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Editor: Bobby Curnow

Summary:

In the dead of night, April awakens from a nightmare where she saw herself as a mutant turtle being chased by ninja. Even though the nightmare was weird, she considers that her reality is much weirder.

Later that day, April takes her four Ninja Turtle buddies for a drive in her van. Don is concerned about Stockman’s “Turtle Tracker”; that he may try to build another one. Raph and Mikey tell him to relax and April drops the four off at some warehouse.

Returning to work at Stockgen, April contemplates that she is aware of the company’s illegal activities, but doesn’t want to divorce herself from the place until she’s formulated a plan and made as much use of her access as possible. Thinking analytically, she begins to conceive that plan and pockets a security card from a careless coworker. She then sees Chet nervously guarding what looks just like the Turtle Tracker Donatello described to her. Using the moves Casey taught her, she maneuvers Chet into spilling coffee on some equipment; the resultant power surge shutting off the lights. In the chaos, April stashes the Turtle Tracker in a case to retrieve later. On another level of the building, a tank containing a three-fingered experiment fails due to the surge and the experiment-itself awakens.

Back at the 2nd Time Around Shop, April tells the Turtles that Stockgen has built another Turtle Tracker and that only she can retrieve it. The Turtles are reluctant to let her go alone, but concede they have no choice but to trust her resourcefulness.

Disguising herself and sneaking into the secure sectors with her stolen pass card, she spots Chet having a discussion with one of the Stone Warriors and grows ever more suspicious. She retrieves the Turtle Tracker from its hiding place, but the Stone Warrior notices she isn’t supposed to be in the sector and confronts her. April runs to hide in a top secret lab, passing by the failed experiment cylinder that now looks like its contents have escaped. April also passes by several vials of glowing green ooze and pockets one. The Stone Warrior catches up with her and April has to think quickly to escape. Dislodging an exhaust hose, she blasts the Stone Warrior with smoke and makes a break for it. The Stone Warrior is about to give chase, when the rather spiky escaped experiment beats him to a pulp.

As security teams scramble, April hides out in a hazmat suit and sneaks away. The experiment passes through the main research area, noticing an old turtle terrarium (the one the TMNT came from). The experiment clutches a small plastic palm tree and strokes it affectionately. Several guards approach the creature and it takes them all down.

Escaping into the parking lot, April realizes that she no longer feels afraid when confronted with danger like she used to. Being a scientist, though, she does feel disenfranchised that corporate research facilities operate such unethical, secret agendas. Smashing its way through the exit, the experiment, a spiky mutant turtle with one green eye and one yellow eye, makes its escape into the night.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #14. The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #15.

*The editorial note says that this issue takes place between TMNT (IDW) #12 and TMNT (IDW) #13. According to editor Bobby Curnow, that was a mistake and the issue takes place between TMNT (IDW) #14 and TMNT (IDW) #15.

*Stockman built  the first Turtle Tracker in TMNT Micro-Series #3: Donatello.

*The mutants contained in the other pods will be revealed in TMNT: Bebop & Rocksteady Destroy Everything! #3.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by David Peterson, Cover B by Zarcone and Cover RI sketch variant by Peterson.


Review:

Slash! Hell yeah!

Well, the fact that I opened my review swooning over the long overdue return of one of the franchise’s fan-favorite villains might pose a potential problem. This was “Microseries: April”, not “Microseries: Slash”, after all.

Still, as an April O’Neil spotlight, this installment in the TMNT Microseries gets the basics of her character down pat. April’s a very tough character to keep interesting and most of the franchise spin-offs beyond the Mirage comics have had to make alterations to keep her from fading away (as she ultimately did in Mirage). The Fred Wolf cartoon had to make her a news reporter to keep her involved in the action, the Archie comic followed suit and then made her a ninja as well so she could actually participate in said action. The 4Kids cartoon first made her a techy so she could work behind the scenes, then made her a ninja so she could hold her own in battle. Heck, even Mirage, during TMNT Vol. 4, had to jump through hoops to make April interesting… though that book went the rather controversial route of making her a magic doodle brought to life. Points for imagination, I guess.

IDW’s April has yet to really strut her stuff. The entire first year of storytelling essentially covered a decompressed version of the origin, which is where April is at her most interesting/iconic (the rescue, the fainting, etc). Now that the origin is behind us, it remains to be seen how IDW will keep April from dissolving into the scenery.

They seem to be going in the direction of making her a fighter and a techy, ala the 4Kids series, with her already illustrating her intellect and Casey giving her self-defense lessons so she can keep up with the gang. If there’s one thing I like about the decompressed approach to storytelling, it’s that April hasn’t become a ninja on par with the TMNT overnight, which is how both TMNT Adventures and the 4Kids series handled it (one afternoon of training from Splinter and suddenly she could vertically leap eight feet in the air and outfight trained assassins). Her progress has been steady and believable; even her infiltration of Stockgen focuses less on the physical aspects of her training but the stealth and tactical qualities; qualities that come easier to her analytical mind.

Writer Barbara Randall Kesel illustrates a strong understanding of April’s character and I like the way she favors the more technically savvy aspects to her. Her talents as a computer programmer went mostly unutilized in the Mirage series, while the 4Kids cartoon made her into a generic “hacker” of vague skill level. Here, Kesel gives us a look inside her head and shows us how she sees the world, manipulating and adapting the lessons she’s learned to suit her strengths. I definitely prefer the approach of making April a resourceful infiltration expert (or getting there, anyway) over having her slam her fingers down on a keyboard for thirteen seconds and “oh hey, I hacked the interwebs!” This April actually displays that she’s genuinely intelligent, a quality that up until now we’ve always been told April possesses rather than convincingly shown.

Unfortunately, April’s still… kind of boring. It’s not really anybody’s fault; April is supposed to be the logical cornerstone of the universe; the straight-woman, so to speak. So when she has to play wet blanket to a host of strong, diverse, bizarre personalities, it’s small wonder that she seems a tad milquetoast by comparison.  Sort of like how writers have a hard time making Winston in various Ghostbusters stories interesting, as he has to be played as the "down to earth everyman".  And that sort of character just pales when placed next to an overly exuberant man-child, an emotionally barren super genious and a sarcastic career slacker.  April is the Winston of the TMNT universe.

And that, essentially, is why Slash succeeds in stealing her own Microseries from her. Because a cool-under-pressure, scientifically-minded, resourceful redhead just can’t compete with a psychotic, palm tree-obsessed, spiky mutant turtle on the rampage.

On the subject of Slash: I am psyched. There have been many attempts to create Evil Turtles for the TMNT to fight (Tokka, the Dark Turtles) and yet Slash is the one people clamor for the most. Exactly why, I have my theories, but I want to save that for the subject of another article, so I won’t go into them now. I’ll just say that it’s great to have him back when he hasn’t been in a story since 1994.

Marley Zarcone’s art is solid. I liked the Mona Lisa homage to reptile-April during the opening nightmare (I called her a turtle in the summary, but she lacks a shell). While I wouldn’t call Zarcone’s style the most remarkable we’ve gotten in the book so far, it’s still pretty dynamic and really shines during the action sequences (April’s confrontation with the Stone Warrior was great). It’s more the “dull” sequences that Zarcone falters on; the characters sitting around chatting. Zarcone doesn’t really do much with the angles or layouts to try and make those lengthy “talking head” scenes pop. Heather Breckel’s coloring is pretty great, too; again, really looking wonderful during the scenes in the experiment lab.

Anyway: Slash. I can’t freakin’ wait.

Grade: B (as in, “But poor Chet can’t seem to catch a break in this series”.)

TMNT Adventures #67

Publication date: April, 1995

Pencils: Chris Allan

Inks: Jon D’Agostino

Letters: Gary Fields

Colors: Barry Grossman

Edits: Fulop and Gorelick

And Introducing, Script: J.D. Vollman (Steve Murphy)

“Of Wolves and Men”

Summary:

Main story:

It is the first snow of winter in the Alaskan wilderness and, beneath a full moon, a wolf-woman cries a beautiful song to her beloved across the forest. The wolf-woman is Nei’Sha and her beloved is Mokoshan. Suddenly, a shot is fired by hunters, killing Nei’Sha. Mokoshan grips his mate and cries a howl of grief that is carried over the wilderness by packs of wolves.

At camp, Ninjara hears the howl and finds it similar to the cries of her fox-people. Raph asks her what’s wrong and she snaps at him, telling the Turtle to leave her alone.

The next day, at Fairbanks International Airport, The Turtles, Ninjara and April bid farewell to Oyuki. April is sending her off with their old friend Tattoo to cover the Sumo-Fest in Japan. Oyuki and Tattoo board their plane, leaving Inky behind on the tarmac in his pet-carrier.

That night, on the Dalton Highway, the Turtles, Ninjara and April are struggling to reach the next town as their truck fails on the snow-covered gravel road. Raph, meanwhile, is failing to reach Ninjara, who still refuses to talk to him and explain why she’s acting so cold and distant. April stops her truck to check the map and another truck operated by locals pulls up beside her. They ask if she needs any help (as the Turtles pull up their hoods to hide their identities) and she politely declines the offer. As the locals drive away, a young boy in the backseat gets a look at Mikey as he pulls down his hood. April pulls the truck off to the side and figures they might as well camp where they are.

As they make camp and Don explains the science behind the Northern Lights to everybody, Ninjara loses interest and marches off to be alone. Raph finally confronts her and she explains that he simply hasn’t been paying enough attention to her; being too caught up in his own adventures to ever ask how she feels or what she wants. In fact, she feels as though she’s lost sight of her own individual purpose; merely tagging along with the Turtles on all of *their* adventures. Raph is shocked, but before he can try to work things out with Ninjara, she hears the same wolf howl and runs off to follow it. Leo shows up an instant later and together they tail Ninjara.

They eventually catch up with her and the three find themselves surrounded by a pack of wolves. Leo and Raph try to talk Ninjara into backing away slowly, but she orders them to shut up, as she feels the alpha male is trying to tell them that someone is coming. Just then, Don, Mike and April arrive, ready to fight. They aren’t the ones that the alpha male was trying to warn Ninjara about, though. That individual is Mokoshan. Angry and tired of trespassers in his forest, the wolf-man swears to kill them all.

Back-up:

Story: Gunther Jones and Eric Talbot
Art and letters: Jim Lawson
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Fulop and Gorelick
Inky created by Eric Talbot

“North to Alaska, Part One”

On the tarmac at Fairbanks International Airport, the jet heading to Japan accidentally leaves without loading Inky’s pet-carrier. The poor Chihuahua whimpers and struggles to get out of his cage, but gives up as the snow starts to fall and be begins to freeze.

Hearing his cries, a pack of wolves come onto the tarmac and chew the door off his cage. Inky follows the wolves into the wilderness.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #61. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #68.

*Tattoo and Inky last appeared in April O’Neil #3.

*"J.D. Vollman", like "Dean Clarrain", was a pseudonym used by series writer Steve Murphy (why he changed pseudonyms is unknown).

*This issue also contained an Inky bonus story, “North to Alaska, Part One” by Jones, Talbot and Lawson.


Review:

And so begins the story that gradually writes Ninjara out of the series. Not that it matters, I suppose, as TMNT Adventures wouldn’t last much longer after this arc, anyway.

As I brought up a long time ago when Ninjara was first introduced, I never felt sold on her romance with Raphael. It always felt like a pairing done out of convenience; “You’re a mutant ninja, I’m a mutant ninja… Let’s make out!” I’ve since come to tolerate Ninjara and even enjoy her a little, despite the fact that in forty-something issues as a supporting character, she ultimately brought next to nothing to the dynamic aside from a fifth pair of hands and a fifth voice to spout generic, interchangeable dialogue that anybody could have spoken. There’s nothing particularly strong about her character; her only memorable aspect being who she’s dating. They could have swapped her out with Mona Lisa and it would have had zero impact on the flow of TMNT Adventures what-so-ever. I don’t hate Ninjara like I used to, I just find her extremely bland. Seemingly the only reason fans cling to her is because they have a… “thing” for her. Hey, whatever floats your boat, weirdos.

Murphy (under new pseudonym, "J.D. Vollman") seemingly shares my appraisal of Ninjara’s character and brings all her foibles to light in this opening chapter of the “Moon Eyes Saga”. Murphy addresses the fact that Ninjara and Raph never shared much in common beside a devotion to martial arts and their infatuation with one another was simply a shallow teenage crush. Future-Raph, in previous issues, tries to stress that Ninjara was “the one” and Raph should have done everything in his power not to lose her, but I think Murphy had a better understanding of their so-called romance.

Ninjara actually gets a bit meta when she finally explains to Raph why she’s pushing away from him. All she’s done since they’ve met is tag along on his adventures, fighting Raph’s enemies and following, well, HIS story. It’s as though she’s realized that she’s become nothing more than background dressing and that her joining the Turtles has only stunted her growth as a character; she’s there to give THEM support rather than pursue any development of her own.

While Ninjara’s cold and irritable treatment of Raph at the start of the story certainly feels out of the blue (and, truthfully, there’s no build-up to her snapping in any of the previous issues), she’s certainly not misguided in her behavior. As for Raph’s culpability in all this, she accuses him of being too wrapped up in his own moods to pay her proper attention and, at least from what we’ve seen, that’s very true. Raph is perhaps the most teenage of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; a mood-swinging, selfish jerk that feels the world is out to get him and everything must revolve around him in some way. Even when Ninjara was introduced as his love interest, it never served to mellow him out or allow him to grow; he still kept acting like a self-centered brat all the way up through Slash’s funeral.

Ninjara basically outgrew him and that reality adds an even more pathetic layer to Raph as we see him in the future. Future-Raph is constantly pining over what essentially boils down to his “high school sweetheart” and, even a hundred years later, continues to date fox-women like Mezcaal to fill the void Ninjara left behind. He basically never, ever got over her.

As for the Inky back-up, it’s some more cute pantomiming ala the previous Inky serial. I do have a soft spot for dogs, so seeing Inky whimpering in his cage was a little sad. I always hated crating my pets as a kid since I’m a sucker for dog whimpering.

Anyway, more broken hearts and furry-bait in the next few issues. If you’ve ever felt fed up with Raph’s selfish jerkitude, then you’ll probably enjoy the “Moon Eyes Saga”. He finally gets what’s coming to him.

Grade: B (as in, “But Nei’Sha sure looks ridiculous with that humongous 80s perm. Twas a mercy killing”.)

TMNT (Fred Wolf, 1987) Season 1 - Review

So I've decided to start doing some more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated reviews, diving headfirst into the 1987 animated series produced by Fred Wolf.

You can read my review of all 5 Season One episodes at Adventures in Poor Taste!

While I take the piss out of the show quite frequently, I actually do love that opening five-part miniseries.  It's everything that was great about Fred Wolf's TMNT series with none of the shit.

I'll be plowing my way through the remainder of the show as a special/infrequent series of articles for Adventures in Poor Taste, probably in 6-8 episode chunks (those syndicated seasons could get pretty freakin' long).  It's a refreshing break from the comic reviews, even if the episode reviews take a bit longer to watch and write.

And if you haven't yet, you may also want to check my reviews for "Turtles Forever" and The Real Ghostbusters parody/slander episode, "Mean Green Teen Machine", also done as special articles for Adventures in Poor Taste.

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #55

Publication date: February, 2009

Script: Dan Berger

Art: Jim Lawson

Letters: Eric Talbot

Frontispiece: Michael Dooney

Cover: Jim Lawson and Steve Lavigne

“Day in the Life”

Summary:

Frontispiece: Remembering a time when they were children, roughhousing as Splinter lectures them, Raph wishes that things were as simple now as they were then. Raph is then reminded of a an average day, before all the insanity and adventure had crept into their lives…

It’s 5:00am and down in the lair, Don has spent all night working on perfecting a tiny robot (though he can’t get it to respond to conversation properly). In another room, Leo’s alarm goes off and he diligently begins meditating for the day ahead. In the kitchen, Mike has been up all night drawing his latest “Captain Awesome” comic, though the hours finally get to him and he dozes off. Raph, meanwhile, is still asleep, cuddling with his one-eyed teddy, Brown Bear.

Always the leader, Leo corrals Mike and Don, telling them to get an hour of solid sleep, in bed, before they have to get ready for practice. Leo then attempts to sneak to the surface, but is caught by Splinter. Leo apologizes for failing him, but Splinter orders his son to be silent. Splinter explains that by declaring himself a failure and not leaving such a decision up to his sensei, Leo lacks confidence and displays self depreciation; qualities not suited for a leader. Splinter tells Leo that he is very proud of him and to remember what he’s been taught. Leo is flattered and as they walk back to the lair, he asks if he almost got passed Splinter this time. Splinter tells him that he was close, but not to get cocky.

At 6:50am, ten minutes before his alarms is set to go off, Raph is rudely awakened by the sound of Splinter banging his cane against his door. Raph quickly stashes Brown Bear and starts getting ready as Splinter yells potential punishments for such lazy behavior. Of course, “Splinter” turns out to be Mikey playing a prank; and he’s caught both when the real Splinter arrives to wake Raph and when Raph opens the door (getting a few raps on the head from Mikey and his cane). Mikey dashes off and Raph vows to get him back during their sparring session.

At breakfast, Splinter tells his sons (yet again) the story of the tortoise and the hare and reminds them that diligence is the only path to mastery of the martial arts. From 7:30am to 12:00pm, Splinter instructs them in intense physical discipline, with a bit of horseplay from time to time on Mikey’s part (and at Raph's expense). During lunch, Splinter tells them another story; this time about how Master Yoshi opted not to openly battle a challenger, but to walk away. Raph and Mikey think Yoshi should have stood his ground, but Leo and Don believe he did the right thing. Leo says that sometimes immediate vengeance can be sloppy and cause repercussions; that at times you have to be patient and wait for the best opportunity (again, tying into the earlier lesson about the tortoise and the hare). Splinter praises Leo and Don for understanding the lesson; that as ninja, they have to keep their actions secret; “strike hard and fade away into the night”, as he puts it.

Following lunch, sparring then begins and Raph couldn’t be happier. Having to endure Mikey’s needling all day long, he lets loose with his bokken (wooden practice sword) and begins wailing on his brother. Leo intercedes and warns Raph that he could have seriously injured him. Raph is ready to take his frustrations out on Leo when Splinter comes between them. He orders all four of his sons to go to their rooms and meditate for an hour.

Raph chooses to read magazines in the kitchen, instead; at least until Splinter orders him to get to his room. Entering his room, he finds Brown Bear missing. Mikey shows up and says that he took Brown Bear; not as a prank, but to fix his missing eye. Raph is confused (and a little embarrassed) and Mikey explains that it’s just his way of saying sorry for always annoying him. Raph apologizes for trying to beat him up during their sparring session and the two part on kinder terms.

During dinner, the Turtles bombard Splinter with an array of questions and requests; Mike asks Splinter to read the comic he just drew, Raph asks if he can have a guitar to “help with his meditation”, Don asks if Splinter can help him look for discarded circuit boards and Leo asks him questions about Master Yoshi’s training regimen. Splinter calms them down and promises to help them all in due time. First, however, it is movie night.

After a good Bruce Lee flick, the Turtles all head off to bed (with Mikey and Don being especially tired after having lost sleep the previous night). Everybody wishes each other good night in a bad parody of “The Waltons”.

Epilogue: It is the future and Raph sits atop an abandoned skyscraper; the streets flooded below. He attempts to carry a conversation with a robot duplicate of April that Don built him, but the thing busts and he has to shut it down. Raph then takes a seat by his fire and pulls out his old childhood possession: Brown Bear. Staring into its one-eyed face, Raph solemnly wishes Mikey a good night, not knowing where he is. He then looks up at the star-filled sky.


Turtle Tips:

*The main story in this issue takes place “just before it all started”, so just prior to TMNT (Vol. 1) #1 (Berger’s opening editorial confirms this placement).

*The epilogue has to take place sometime after the main story in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #41, as Mikey was seen in that issue but is designated missing, here.

*According to author Dan Berger, the April robot was originally going to be an alien girlfriend of Raph’s, but was changed when Peter suggested the April robot (which Lawson subsequently drew to look similar to April’s design from the Fred Wolf animated series).

*In regards to Mikey’s missing status in the epilogue, Berger stated that he put that in there due to Mikey’s status in Laird’s TMNT Vol. 4, where he was adventuring in space. Not sure if Mikey would ever make it back, Berger added the ominous starry sky to imply he may still be out there.

*Raph’s rage-filled attempt to clobber Mikey in practice foreshadows a more serious attempt in Raphael (microseries) #1.  Leo repeats Master Splinter's lesson about "striking hard and fading away into the night" in TMNT (Vol. 1) #1.

*This issue also contained a bonus pin-up, “Raphael” by Bruce Hatten and Ryan Brown.


Review:

“Day in the Life” is perhaps one of my favorite stories from Tales Vol. 2. It isn’t exciting, it isn’t action-packed, it doesn’t have high stakes and it doesn't introduce any new villains or allies. Yet it’s a very special issue and one that’s extremely memorable to me because it doesn’t try and do any of those things. It’s just… a day in the life.

One of the things you’ll notice about the TMNT, mostly because they’re comic book characters, is that they can never have a dull moment. They go on a camping trip? Warring alien princesses attack. They go river rafting? Angry fish people attack. They play hide and seek? The Rat King wrecks their shit. They try to relax at the farm in Northampton? Cousin Sid holds everyone hostage because he wants a treasure map.

They just can’t catch a break.

Obviously, not every single day of their lives can be like that, but as readers looking for entertainment, those are the days we get to see. An entire issue where Raph works on his motorcycle, Mikey plays video games, Don reads a computer manual and Leo meditates would not make for an enthralling 20-something pages.

But “Day in the Life” is just that sort of issue and, after twenty-five years of nothing but stories where the Ninja Turtles fight assassins and aliens and monsters, it’s a very refreshing and honest diversion. As someone that really enjoys the characters in and of themselves, I do find myself curious what an “ordinary day” is like for them. I can see how someone new to the Turtles or perhaps just a casual fan would find this sort of tale tedious and dull, but I think for those of us more invested in the series, it offers its own fascinating tidbits.

Dan Berger pens a very mellow script that offers only a small level of conflict and melodrama to give the tale the faintest amount of zing (and a nice foreshadowing of Raphael #1) while not getting away from the intended purpose of being a very average twenty four hours. He peps the story up with some light comedy that’s amusing, though not overly hilarious (and again, an excess of elaborate humor would have taken away from the point of this tale). My favorite moment, incidentally, was the two-panel gag where Mikey gets a time out.

There’s never-the-less a strong emotional backbone to “Day in the Life”. In his twilight years, left all alone in the ruins of the world, with a lifetime of unique and amazing memories to look back on… Raph chooses, instead, to reflect most wistfully on an incredibly average day from his youth, before they began having their world-shattering adventures. In his opening editorial, Berger says it best: “These are tomorrow’s good old days”. And he couldn’t be more correct. I’m 27 as I write this review, with that dreaded Three-Oh creeping up a little closer as every minute passes. It’s starting to feel like “Logan’s Run”; like the second I hit that terrible number, the jewel in my hand is going to start blinking. But also as I get older, I find myself reflecting more frequently on the simpler times; when I was a kid and didn’t have to worry about rent and work and groceries and bills. And I’m sure that ten years from now, I’ll look back at when I was 27 and think I had it pretty great, then.

It’s a sensation I’m sure we’re all pretty familiar with and Berger channels it expertly in his script. I’ve got a few “exciting” memories, sure, but they aren’t the ones I treasure most. As I get older and I slowly but surely begin to either lose or part ways with the people I care about most, it’s my mundane memories of them that I summon with the greatest fondness. Likewise, for Raph, it isn’t his memories of the warring alien princesses or fish-people or Rat King or whatever that he chooses to dwell on in his old age, but the time his brother fixed his teddy bear for him.

And that’s what really makes this issue stand out for me. Not just the fact that by intentionally being so average it winds up offering a unique story, but because it taps into an emotion we can all relate to as we grow older.

Grade: A (as in, “And Dooney’s frontispiece is one of my favorites in the whole volume. The Popeye arms on the toddler Turtles are great”.)

Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #1

Publication date: January, 2004

Story: Steve Murphy
Art: Dario Brizuela
Layouts – Frontispiece: Jim Lawson
Letters: Eric Talbot
Cover: Michael Dooney

“Not Forgotten"

Summary:

Frontispiece: As the Turtles battle a giant worm, Donatello can’t help but recall the final book Charles Darwin ever published, “The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms”. Don considers how something so small can have such a huge impact on the world. This reminds him of a story…

Donatello (at the age of twelve) reads to his brothers and Splinter from a history textbook chronicling the rise of New York. He tells them about explorers such as Giovanni Da Verrazano and Henry Hudson, who interacted with the indigenous people of the New World and, in most cases, abused them.

While Mikey is enthralled by the tale, Raph finds it boring and knocks the tome out of Don’s hand. A hidden map then comes fluttering out of the ancient text (which Don found discarded in the sewer). The map is an old guide to the New York City underground system, leading to a subterranean freshwater spring. Anxious to get some time alone and go exploring, the Turtles ask if they can follow the map and look for the spring, so long as they bring a modern map with them to keep from getting lost. Reluctantly, Splinter lets his pre-teen sons have their first overnight adventure without supervision.

Initially, Mikey acts as navigator through the modern sewer tunnels, but that naturally leads to a dead end as he reads the map upside down. Leo takes command and their mission finds greater success. The years peel away as they travel through the forgotten depths of the sewer, encountering old subway car graveyards, ruins of an aqueduct system and even a bizarre series of manmade secret passages, the origin of which they cannot determine.

Eventually, they happen upon the remains of a Dutch settlement and decide to camp there for the night. Before hitting the sack, Don reads more from the book, describing the ultimate fates of Henry Hudson and Da Verrazano. Apparently, Hudson later attempted a polar expedition but was met with mutiny by his crew. He and his son were left adrift in a lifeboat to die of exposure. Da Verrazano had it worse, landing on a Caribbean island and becoming the meal of cannibals. Mike is grossed out by the story, though Don finds the ultimate comeuppance of the explorers “Darwinian”. Raph feigns to be uninterested in history, but after everyone dozes off, he finds and pockets an arrowhead out of curiosity.

The next day, the Turtles continue their journey through a series of caves. After happening on some fossilized dinosaur tracks, they spy a hand-carved tunnel and decide to take a shortcut. This leads them to an elaborate city of massive architecture, carved directly from the rock-itself. They have no idea who built the sprawling, forgotten city, but their attention is soon distracted by the discovery of the hidden spring.

As Leo, Raph and Mikey go swimming, Don decides to do some chemical tests on the water and see if it’s safe or not. Only minutes after they begin playing, however, the pre-teen Turtles are met by the city’s inhabitants: half-worm, half-man creatures. Startled, the Turtles engage the worms in battle, though Don opts to sit the altercation out and continue his tests.

The worms put up a good fight and the battle rages for a while, until Don finishes his tests and yells for everyone to clear out of the pool. Apparently, the water contains deadly levels of lead and cadmium; the contamination poisoning the worm-people. Don unpacks the water filters they brought along and teaches the worm-people how to use them to clean their water. The Turtles then leave the somewhat confused worms behind, promising to check up on them in a few months to see how they’re doing.

Recalling the adventure some years later, Don admits that they never did go back to see how the worm-people held up. In fact, now older and wiser, he scoffs at his youthful naiveté. He ponders that maybe the worm-people actually needed the lead and cadmium levels to survive or that maybe they’d already adapted to the change in their environment. As a seagull flies over the modern day New York skyline, Don concludes that things change and to survive you have to change with it.


Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place when the Turtles are 12 years old, meaning it predates TMNT (Vol. 1) #1. However, since the Turtles are no longer wearing their skullcap banadanas, it has to take place after TMNT (Vol. 1) #9.

*Don claims that the story takes place during the centennial of Darwin’s “The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms”. As that book was published in 1881, that would naturally place this story in 1981.

*Ancient, forgotten levels of the New York underground would go on to appear in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #6 and Donatello: The Brain Thief #4.


Review:

Tales of the TMNT Vol. 2, I both love and hate thee.

I was surprised when this book was originally announced, as Mirage’s TMNT releases in the early 2000s had been so slim I wasn’t expecting a second title. Ultimately, it was a good thing that they started this series up when they did, as the “main” book, TMNT Vol. 4, would very quickly meet with delays and ultimately an indefinite hiatus that has spanned years. Tales Vol. 2 kept the lights on for quite some time, becoming the second longest TMNT comic ever published (falling short of TMNT Adventures by just two issues) and offering a bevy of superb Turtle stories. Of course, some of them also kind of sucked and trying to work out the timeline of these installments (which take place all over the continuity) would be a headache, but Tales Vol. 2 still offered a lot to the mythology of the franchise and it was satisfying to get a Mirage-published TMNT book every month for over half a decade.

The opening editorial by Peter Laird is basically a mission statement for the Tales revival, explaining that its goal was to fill in the 15 year gap between Mirage’s TMNT Vol. 2 and TMNT Vol. 4 (Image’s TMNT Vol. 3 having been stricken from canon by Laird’s hand). Odd, then, that this first offering doesn’t take place in that timeframe, but predates TMNT Vol. 1 by three years.

Steve Murphy offers a flashback story that feels like it could have fit right in with the similar tales woven in his earlier series, TMNT Adventures (which he wrote under the pseudonym “Dean Clarrain”). It feels excessively “Murphy”, as it dwells on educational topics, points out environmental changes and the folly of man’s meddling and, of course, features American Indians both in historical guise and as ciphers via the worm-people. “Not Forgotten” is pretty much loaded with Murphy-isms from start to finish, though not exactly the worse for it.

While it certainly struggles to impart a lesson on the audience, using the Turtles and worm-people as analogues for ancient explorers and Native Americans, and showcasing their irrational hostilities and Don’s meddling with their ecosystem to drive the point home, “Not Forgotten” seems a bit more evenhanded with its message than most Murphy stories of the same ilk. Don’s final words are more condemning of the indigenous people done in by the explorers, claiming that change is inevitable and Darwin’s theory about adaptation and evolution are natural laws that must be followed. In a way, it’s rather refreshing and shows how Murphy’s idealism has changed a bit since his TMNT Adventures days (when he used every opportunity to romanticize the utopian perfection of the American Indians and condemn the villainous evildoing of the European explorers and invaders).

My favorite aspect of this story, however, isn’t the message it tries to deliver or the more action-oriented fight with the worm-people. It’s the montage where the Turtles travel through the sewers and break through the wall of modern architecture and start going “back in time”, layer by layer. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of vast, subterranean cities and worlds built over by modern cities and the scene where the Turtles travel through several strange sectors that gradually get older and older as they move along is just marvelous (if the host hadn’t been such a colossal tool, “Cities of the Underworld” on the History Channel might have been one of my favorite shows).

Bringing that part of the issue to life is Dario Brizuela. Brizuela will go on to be one of the more prominent artists in Tales Vol. 2 and one of my all-time favorites. This issue was my introduction to his style (he’d later go on to pencil IDW’s “Transformers Animated” comic) and it really invokes a more fun and carefree atmosphere, ala TMNT Adventures, that makes for a welcomed diversion from the “grim and gritty”. He’s very reminiscent of Chris Allan, I think; infusing expressive cartooning with a strong sense of action and adventure.

Brizuela is especially talented at angles and “camera work”; keeping the layouts (in this issue provided by Jim Lawson) from looking flat and offering the illusion of depth that draws you into the underground worlds the Turtles explore. Most of this issue is nothing but talking, so Brizuela does his level best to make the pages as elaborate as possible and grip your attention. Quite frankly, had another artist handled the pencils on “Not Forgotten”, I’d likely have found it to be far more boring.

The end result of “Not Forgotten”, unfortunately, is a tale that’s rather easily forgotten. Though the events leave a lasting impact on Don’s character, nothing that occurs here is ever referenced as significant ever again. Well, Don luring the Brain Thief down to a forgotten underground chamber at the conclusion of “Donatello: The Brain Thief” may have been a throwback to the tunnels he discovered in this issue, or it may just be a coincidence.

Anyhow, artwork and my personal fascination with underground cities aside, “Not Forgotten” just doesn’t make much of an impression. And neither does the next issue of Tales Vol. 2, either. It really isn’t until Tales of the TMNT #3 that this title started gearing up and got me excited for each subsequent issue, even if the quality tended to fluctuate from time to time.

Grade: C (as in, “Come to think of it, Murphy kind of just cloned his ‘Sons of the Silent Age’ story a bit for this one”.)

TMNT Adventures #66

Publication date: March, 1995

Script: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Pencils: Chris Allan

Inks: Brian Thomas

Letters: Gary Fields

Colors: Barry Grossman

Edits: Scott Fulop

Managing edits: Victor Gorelick

Editor in chief: Richard Goldwater

Cover: Allan/Brown

“Dreamland, Part 5 of 5”

Summary:

Main story:

Down in the lab, the zombies are begging for death while attacking Raph and his team. Uncollapsing Don’s hi-tech bo staff, Raph decides to fry the cadavers with electricity. This only makes things worse, as now they’re killer zombies that are on fire.

In the brain tank, Leo is about to black out when Don saves the day with a pulsar blast from his gauntlet. He tells Leo that he could have just cranked up the thermowaves in his Cyber Samurai armor to fry the brains around him, but Leo says he hasn’t read the owner’s manual.

Back in the lab, Raph resorts to plan B. He uses the staff to draw out all the electric energy coursing through the cadavers, as that’s what’s keeping them “alive”. Raph succeeds in shutting down the corpses, but the staff cannot hold all that energy and fires it out in a huge blast. The blast smashes a nearby wall, emptying the brain tank. Don and Leo step out of the goo and rejoin the team.

From another room, Verminator and Crainiac step in and get the drop on the heroes, holding them hostage with their guns. Crainiac wants the brains of the Turtles, as they’re sure to fetch a good price. Raph and Mikey think fast and knock the guns out of the villains’ hands by throwing a nunchaku and a brain. Raph and Verminator tussle a bit, with Verminator regaining his gun. Crainiac draws his sword and is about to cut the brain out of Mikey when Verminator turns his gun on Crainiac. Apparently, a part of their deal involved Crainiac promising to only harvest already-dead brains. Enraged at Verminator’s betrayal, Crainiac abandons him to die on Earth when the asteroid collides and flies off laughing in his ship.

While Verminator is distracted, Raph grabs one of the fallen guns and holds it to Verminator. Raph tells Verminator to drop his weapon or he’ll kill him on the spot. Verminator calls Raph’s bluff, knowing that the Turtle would never kill an enemy. Raph shoots Verminator at point blank range in the head. The other Turtles are appalled, but Raph insists it was the only way; that killing Verminator was needed to save future lives. At any rate, it won’t matter for long, as the approaching asteroid will soon destroy the Earth.

A short time later, a space ship piloted by Don targets the asteroid. A well-placed nuclear missile fired by his copilot destroys the asteroid and saves the Earth. Don’s copilot is revealed to be Verminator (now going by his original name: Manx). Apparently, Don repaired his cerebral cybernetics, removing certain “bad parts”, and not only succeeded in saving Manx’s life, but returning him to his younger, gentler personality. The day saved, the friends fly back to Earth.

Back-up:

Story: Dean Clarrain

Art: Gray Morrow

Letters: Gary Fields
Color: B. Grossman

“April O’Neil: The Angel of Times Square, Chapter V”

In the theater, April cuts the angel free and she reveals herself to be named Gabrielle. April asks Gabrielle if she’s a true angel and Gabrielle says yes. April wonders why an angel would allow herself to be captured by a man and, reading her mind, Gabrielle answers. Gabrielle says that everything she has done has been for man and escorts April outside to Times Square.

As the ball drops to usher in the New Year, Gabrielle says that man thinks only of tomorrow and never of today. Thus, they never see the beauty that surrounds them. Departing on those words, Gabrielle takes wing and disappears as the clock strikes midnight.

Going home, April considers Gabrielle’s words and notices that in her haste to get a story, she missed out on seeing her roommate, Oyuki, on New Years. April heads straight to a bar and continues pondering what Gabrielle meant by the beauty of man and the present they ignore.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #65.

*The future-Turtles were set to make their next appearance in TMNT Adventures #71, as part of the “Forever War” storyline. However, editorial and creative differences caused the shelving of that arc. For more, read my research essay, “Whatever Happened to The Forever War?”.

*This issue also contained a bonus story, “The Angel of Times Square, Chapter V” by Clarrain and Morrow.


Review:

If you ever read any of Steve Murphy’s (Dean Clarrain’s) old insider posts from his now-defunct blog, “The Fifth Turtle”, then you might have an idea what his last few months working for Archie Comics were like. Apparently, Gorelick and Goldwater were not happy about the direction he was taking TMNT Adventures, thinking the material too dark and violent and challenging for what was supposed to be a children’s comic. Ultimately, Murphy would only get to write one more storyline after “Dreamland” before getting canned by the editors.

I’ll never agree with what Gorelick and Goldwater did, as I think kids deserve much more credit than the people in charge of their entertainment tend to give them, but a part of me can see why they were so terrified of what TMNT Adventures was becoming. In a way, “Dreamland” almost does cross the line with its material, though not in the content of said material but in its execution.

A story where the Turtles go back in time and face Adolf Hitler could have been very educational and handed down some heavy morality lessons to the young audience. Instead, the idea is rather slapdash in its manner, having little considerable effect on the overall story and amounting to nothing more than a violent and controversial diversion. In essence, it feels extremely “gratuitous” and that’s what really bothers me about it. Murphy had some strong and risqué ideas percolating in his imagination, but the half-baked transfer to the page wound-up making those ideas look like they were included strictly for the shock value. And from that angle, I can see how editors would find the material so objectionable.

If you’re going to write a story about the Turtles traveling to Nazi Germany and fighting Hitler, don’t make it a brief side story.

And the poor execution shows through in this final chapter, too, particularly the implementation of the asteroid conflict. It really, really shouldn’t have been in this story arc. It didn’t matter whatsoever.

The asteroid is constantly looming overhead as a problem from the start of “Dreamland”, but the Turtles don’t know about it until the last second and the villains only mention it offhandedly from time to time; there’s little suspense in it. Then Don and Verminator destroy it with nearly humorous ease over the span of three pages; the resolution is as sloppy as it gets.

Likewise is Verminator’s return as Manx at the very end, completely undercutting the shocking power of Raph pulling the trigger and making the tough decision to end Verminator’s life. Everything about that moment is tossed aside for this sappy ending that feels woefully tacked on. And there’s a certain moral objection to Don “reprogramming” Verminator into a good guy; removing his free will and manipulating him into being the person Don wants him to be. While certainly an interesting ethical concept, there’s no dwelling on it in that high speed epilogue. You’re just supposed to take Don lobotomizing Verminator as a good thing.

Even Raph’s termination of Verminator has its problems. When betraying Crainiac, Verminator displays a sense of honor heretofore unseen in the character. It conflicts with his personality as shown up to this point; so he doesn’t want to kill anyone while working his schemes, but has no compunctions about leaving everyone on Earth to die in an asteroid collision? And what about the dock guards that his cadaver soldiers killed a couple issues back? Verminator tries to pull this honorable about-face on killing, but it just doesn’t gel with his characterization. And anyway, to have him make this declaration that he won’t let anyone be killed to meet his goals clashes with Raph’s rationalization for shooting him in the head; Raph insists that if he hadn’t, Verminator would have taken countless lives in the future.

It just doesn’t hold together. And when the moral or emotional backbone gets pulled out of the scene, all you’re left with is Raph cold-bloodedly shooting an enemy in the head because it’s “totally badass, man”. And, again, that’s just gratuitous violence and not only inappropriate for a kid’s comic, but completely beneath the quality we’d been seeing up to this point.

I wish I didn’t have to be so harsh on “Dreamland”, as it’s packed with good ideas; I love the central conflict of a brain thief out to steal dreams for aliens, and I dig seeing how the future has turned out for the main cast in greater detail. But the execution of those elements is half-assed, to be frank, and I somewhat find myself siding with the editors. Not because I don’t think these ideas belong in a book like TMNT Adventures, but because I think they were squandered to the point of easily being misinterpreted as gratuitous violence and recklessly controversial material.

As for the April back-up, we all waited five months for a pretty damn trite lesson, didn’t we? “Slow down and appreciate the beauty of the world around you”. Got it. Thanks. Hippy.

The presence of Christian angels in TMNT Adventures shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone. Thus far we’ve encountered numerous religious and mythological entities from numerous creeds, including Shinotism, Buddhism and Islam. And so far as Christianity is concerned, we’ve already met the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse and even Null, a demon straight from Hell. April is shocked at meeting an angel and says she never believed in such things, displaying an overall atheist attitude. I just find that sort of disposition hard to swallow, considering all the religious entities I just mentioned, many of which April has encountered for herself and now knows to exist.

It’s sort of like how I find it hard to believe atheists can exist in the Marvel or DC universes, when gods of all faiths run around New York City and their existence is very matter of fact.

Anyway, the ending seemed unreasonably depressing, to me. Gabrielle tells April to enjoy the beauty of the present so she heads out to wallow in a bar all by herself. Jesus, lady. It’s not like the angel was being very subtle. Sheesh.

Grade: D+ (as in, “Do ALL of Leo’s students call the Turtles ‘uncle’? Nobuko does it in this issue, too”.)

TMNT Adventures #65

Publication date: February, 1995

Story: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)
Pencils: Chris Allan

Inks: Jon D’Agostino

Letters: Gary Fields

Color: Barry Grossman

Edits: Scott Fulop

Big Brain: V. Gorelick

Cover: Allan/Brown

“Dreamland, Part 4 of 5”

Summary:

Main story:

Inside a strange pool, Leo (in his Cyber Samurai armor) is being swarmed by dozens of human brains, clasping onto him with their stems. Leo ponders how he ended up in this crazy predicament…

Leaving the Turtleco building in their Cyber Samurai armor, Raph manages to find Mike floating in the water below. Apparently, Crainiac and Verminator-X are still on-world, merely hiding out in the flooded streets.

Speaking of them, in his underwater base, Crainiac inspects Hitler’s brain and is shocked to find it still functional. He then asks Verminator as to the status of “the project”. Verminator says he’s finished installing the stolen NASA parts, though he wished he could have gotten more. Crainiac reminds Verminator about the deadly comet heading Earth’s way and that every second counts.

At the Turtleco building, the Turtles, Mezcaal and Leo’s students gear up and split into teams. Leo and Don (in their armor) infiltrate the underwater base from below, while Raph, Mikey and the rest go in from above. Sneaking in, Raph’s team stumbles onto one of Verminator’s Thanotics labs: a lab full of corpses hooked up to strange machines. Raph trips over a device and suddenly all the corpses spring to life. As the corpses attack, Leo’s students fight back and begin tearing the zombies apart, though the numbers against them are great. Eventually, the corpses overcome the heroes.

Undersea, Leo and Don find an unguarded entrance. Knowing it to be a trap, but having no other means in, they go through. The Turtles find themselves in a strange pool full of human brains (which takes us back to where we started). The brains begin attacking and there are too many for the Turtles to fend off. Eventually, they start slithering inside their Cyber Samurai armor.

Watching from security monitors, Crainiac and Verminator laugh at their success.

Back-up:

Story: Dean Clarrain
Art: Gray Morrow
Letters: Gary Fields
Color: B. Grossman
Edits: Fulop/Gorelick

“April O’Neil: The Angel of Times Square, Chapter IV”

April takes on the gang of thugs with her sword, either knocking them out with the flat or cutting them just enough to disarm them. The thugs keep coming, making lewd comments (one asks if she’d like to star in some porno films), but April easily triumphs. Hollywood Hoey then attacks with a knife, but April knocks him out, too.

April then moves to the storage room where the Angel is being kept chained to a bed. The angel awakens and tells April that she knew she would be coming. April is shocked at how truly angelic the captive appears up close, but is even more shocked that the angel knows her name.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #64. The story concludes in TMNT Adventures #66.

*This issue also contained a bonus story, “The Angel of Times Square, Chapter IV” by Clarrain and Morrow.


Review:

The penultimate chapter! Things just get weirder and weirder, as Murphy (Clarrain) basically does his best to rip off that cheesy old B-movie, “Fiend Without a Face” (it’s available as part of the Criterion Collection, I swear to God).

The zombie army is surprisingly gruesome, though they still obey Archie’s coloring laws (all blood is painted anything other than red; in this case, brown or green). Despite that, for the first time in all of TMNT Adventures you actually get to see Raph bury the pointy end of his sai through the temple of a human head (loosening an eyeball in the process). And you might take entertainment from some of the other risqué moments, such as Leo muttering “Hay-Zeus” phonetically when first encountering the brains.

The issue’s a bit light on content, as the dramatic cliffhanger from the previous issue is resolved almost offhandedly (oh, hey, Mikey’s just floating in the water; cool). And Leo’s students are all boring as Hell. Nobuko is April’s granddaughter, Miles is Raph’s “nephew”, Bob is a mutant baboon and Carmen is, uh… female. I just don’t see the point of including them in this story at all when they have such shallow characterization and offer so little to the plot. Nova Posse was better than this (though not by much).

While this installment doesn’t amount to much more than a whole lot of weird action, it’s at least a lot of fun to look at. Allan offers some really lavish pages, with the art spilling all the way to the edges (he’s often forced to place the bubble with the page number in weird positions because the cool stuff goes all the way to the corners). There’s some groaners, sure (like the splash page where everyone strikes a pose and says a stupid catchphrase), but overall this issue is balls to the wall with the art. And I love Verminator’s expression on page 20 as he watches his enemies get swarmed by brains/zombies.

The April back-up is still going at a snail’s pace. Contrary to what I said a moment ago about Archie’s blood-coloring policy, April draws a bit of crimson with her sword as she cuts one of the thugs (though not enough to kill him, which may have had something to do with letting the red color slide). The only thing in this installment that made me take notice was the “triple-X movie” joke. Another first for TMNT Adventures, ladies and gentlemen.

Grade: B (as in, “But Mezcaal’s dreadlocks look like cigar butts to me”.)

TMNT Adventures #64

Publication date: January, 1995

Script: Allan/Clarrain (Murphy)

Pencils: Allan

Inks: Thomas

Letters: Fields

Colors: Grossman

Edits: Fulop

O2: Gorelick

Cover: Allan/Talbot

“Dreamland, Part 3 of 5”

Summary:

Main story:

At the infirmary of the Turtleco building, Don has gotten Mikey stabilized, though still on life support.  Mezcaal wonders if Mike would be better off in a hospital, but Don explains that their mutant physiology makes them tough patients even for trained specialists; only Turtleco has the proper equipment to keep Mikey breathing.  Unfortunately for the Turtles, they can’t stay and watch over their wounded brother; they have to head through the time slip generator and see what happened to the missing brain.  Leo leaves his students behind to keep Mikey safe and the three Turtles then jump through the time slip.

Out in space, an alien named Crainiac shows Verminator-X the imminent fate of planet Earth: A comet is careening toward it and will shortly destroy the whole world.  Verminator isn’t sure he likes the sound of that, at least until Crainiac offers him a business proposition.  Crainiac explains that there are alien races incapable of dreaming and that they pay good money for the brains of unique individuals that have lived exciting lives.  They then siphon the memories of those people and use them as dreams.  Crainiac has collected many human brains, but one very special one still awaits…

In the tunnels beneath war-torn Berlin, the brain of Adolf Hitler has forged a makeshift robot body (really just a jar with tripod legs and pincher arms) and is desperately trying to reconvene with his younger self to prevent his defeat at the hands of the Allied forces.  Hitler’s brain kills a member of the resistance hiding in the tunnels, then trudges off.

Not long after, the Turtles arrive through the time slip.  They find the body, but before they can ask too many questions, more members of the resistance arrive and open fire.  The Turtles escape to the surface and find Berlin in ruins, as Allied planes continue to drop bombs on the city.  Hitler’s brain has succeeded in teaming with his younger self and together they’ve mustered several members of the Reich to hold off their enemies.  The Turtles are pinned by gunfire until a bomb drops and destroys the robot body of Hitler’s brain (and scatters the Nazi soldiers, too).  Raph belts young-Hitler in the jaw and they snatch up the gooey brain from its shattered globe.  Unfortunately, Don has lost his time slip remote and they now have to race to the entry point for their one shot at returning home when the time slip portal briefly reopens.

They make it back to the tunnels, only to be accosted at gunpoint by a dazed and confused Hitler.  As the time slip opens up, Leo tells Hitler that they are demons and they have come to take his soul to Hell.  Hitler refuses to let them and, instead, blows his own brains out with his gun.  The Turtles return through the time slip with Hitler’s not-blown-out brain as the young Hitler’s lifeless body falls to the rubble.

As the Turtles return to Turtleco, they find Verminator-X and Crainiac waiting for them.  They have subdued Leo’s students and demand that the Turtles hand over Hitler’s brain.  Don tells “Manx” (Verminator) that he was once a brilliant scientist and shouldn’t be associating with such criminal scum.  Verminator is unmoved and escapes in Crainiac’s spaceship, intent on finishing his project before Earth’s destruction.

As the ship zooms off, Raph notices a groggy Michaelangelo clinging to the bottom of the hull.  Weakly, Mike promises to hold on for as long as he can and find out where they’re headed.

Back-up:

Story: Dean Clarrain

Art: Gray Morrow

Letters: Gary Fields

Color: B. Grossman

Edits: Fulop/Gorelick

“April O’Neil: The Angel of Times Square, Chapter III”

As April watches the Angel weep on stage, she notices the source of her sorrow: a shackle chaining her to the floor.  The rest of the audience misses this detail, thinking the angel is shedding tears of joy.

April isn’t fooled and, later that night, dons her ninja garb and sneaks into the theater through an upper window (crowds that glimpse her mistake her silhouette for an angel’s, in fact).  Sneaking in, she’s approached by Hollywood Hoey and a gang of knife-wielding thugs.  Hoey orders the thugs to attack and April draws her sword.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #63.  The story continues in TMNT Adventures #65.

*Don previously lost a time slip remote in TMNT Adventures #57, hence Raph’s annoyance.

*This issue also contained a bonus story, “The Angel of Times Square, Chapter III” by Clarrain and Morrow.

Review:

“Dreamland” continues and now the title is starting to make some freakin’ sense.

Crainiac’s scheme is actually a pretty novel one; stealing memories for aliens incapable of dreaming.  It’s a very abstract crime, to be sure, while still having a tinge of ghoulishness to it as the alien makes off with the actual brains of celebrities and historical figures.  Verminator-X’s part in all this seems a bit wobbly, though.  I understand that he cares more about profit than the salvation of his homeworld, but how exactly is Crainiac going to make the whole caper worth his while (aside from alerting him to Earth’s impending demise and getting him out of there, I guess)?

I was more interested in the glimpse of back story Don dropped in passing.  Villains are always better when you know more about them and Verminator offers something of a look at what Don might have been like had he grown to value science and tech over body and soul.  Don’s always been the mad scientist and inventor of the group, but Splinter’s martial arts training and spiritual guidance kept him leveled; he was raised to appreciate nature and physical fitness first and foremost.  Verminator, or Manx, is what Don would have been like had he lacked that upbringing; a capable scientist and inventor with no value for his own body or the natural world-itself, so much so that he traded his humanity for cybernetic upgrades and callously sells out the Earth for material gain.

From that perspective, Verminator’s a more interesting villain than he otherwise might be.  And, in fact, Verminator is one of the reasons I always felt the cyborg-Don of the Image TMNT Vol. 3 series rang so false.  Regardless of what continuity you ascribe to, Don is not a character that would embrace becoming a soulless machine because “firepower is cool”.

As for the Hitler stuff, as insanely daring as it was for a kid’s comic, the pacing threw the story off and the inclusion of Hitler’s shenanigans seems rather pointless to the overall story.  There’s a major rush to get the set pieces in place, so everything begins jumping around.  Where did Hitler’s brain get that robot body?  He joins with his younger self and forms an alliance completely off-panel and in a very short span of time (seemingly only minutes).  Then his robot body is destroyed by a convenient bomb and Raph knocks young-Hitler out.  Then… young-Hitler BEATS them to the tunnel, somehow, and there’s a sloppy conversation about Hell that elicits Hitler to shoot himself in the head (so as not to mess up history).

The whole thing left me with the impression that Murphy (Clarrain) wanted to do a whole lot more with the evildoings of Hitler’s grey matter in Nazi Germany, but was thusly forced to truncate it all into a nearly incomprehensible series of panels.  The end result is still shocking as all Hell for its content but is ultimately a total mess to read.

Artistically, this is some of Allan’s best work, though.  Raph belting Hitler in the jaw is pretty awesome, despite everything I said about the story pacing, and the overall action layouts of this issue are astounding.  His skill with expression also takes point on some of the more comedic scenes, like Don losing the time slip remote and Raph’s droll response to the dilemma.

As for the April back-up; this thing is a pain to read in 5-page chunks.  I really have little new to say about this installment beyond the fact that, in her old age, April has apparently become a rather crappy ninja.  People on the streets see her running along the rooftops and she’s caught seconds after breaking into the theater.

Ninja-ing is a young woman’s game, April.  Think about retiring.

Grade: C (as in, “Can’t say I enjoy admitting it, but damn did the Nazi’s have cool uniforms”.)