Pizzaface: A Recipe for Awesome

So, today I want to take some time out of my oppressively busy schedule to talk about one of the greatest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villains of all time:



Pizzaface.

Stay with me, now.

Released as a villain in the 1990 assortment of TMNT toys from Playmates, Pizzaface was out-there even by that line’s standards. And endeavor to keep in mind that this was the line that gave us a torture-toilet playset.



But what makes Pizzaface so unrelentingly awesome is just how positively berserk with imagination he is. Not just his character design or base concept, either, but even his origin and motivation is completely bonkers in all the right ways. I mean, most TMNT action figures had their histories and personalities described in one, maybe two sentences on the back of the card. Pizzaface? Two freakin’ paragraphs.

Check it:

“Pizzaface - Shredder's crazed culinary creator - had a plan to become the most powerful pizza chef ever. So he zapped himself in his Retromutagen oven, hoping the energy would bake him with badness. But the hungry Turtle Teens burst into the parlor and pulled Pizzaface out. Now this half-baked bozo wants to get even with the Turtles for foiling his formula. All the Turtles wanted was a large pepperoni to go - but instead they got part pizza and part Pizzaface!

“Possessing the power of the pizza pie, Pizzaface is the ultimate Turtle nightmare: traveling from parlor to parlor, he terrorizes the Turtles, trying to turn them into tasty teen topping. Armed with flying pizzas and a Pizza Box Shield, this peg-legged pizza piper follows the Foot, even though he's only got one good leg. And what's worse? He delivers.”

Let me summarize for you. Pizzaface was a chef working for the Foot who thought that he could become “the most powerful pizza chef ever” by baking himself alive inside a radioactive oven. The Turtles valiantly foiled his brilliant scheme, but in the end his DNA was forever mutated, making him part man, part pizza. Now, he travels from pizza parlor to pizza parlor, poisoning pizza pies with any number of explicit ingredients like some urban legend from your worst nightmares.

And he delivers, too. So don’t answer the doorbell.

But the highly sophisticated qualities that make Pizzaface totally friggin’ boss don’t just end there, no sir. The story behind Pizzaface is even more bizarre, gruesome and surprisingly ghoulish.

The original prototype for the Pizzaface toy painted a far more macabre portrait of the diabolical culinary. As any owner of the original Pizzaface toy most certainly noticed, he is inexplicably missing his left pinky finger. Of course, he’s also missing his entire right leg, but there’s actually a shockingly horrific reason why his pinky isn’t there.

He chopped it off, baked it into a pizza and tried to force-feed it to the Turtles.

According to the toy's sculptor, David Arshawsky, the missing finger was originally molded into one of Pizzaface’s throwing-pizza accessories as one of the many revolting toppings (alongside dead rats, squirming roaches, shuriken, nails, squashed baby turtles and hand grenades). Playmates ultimately decided that the idea of him severing body parts and stuffing them down the gullets of our Heroes on the Halfshell was too violent, and so they took the finger out of the pizza accessory… without reattaching it to his hand.

But the missing finger isn’t even the most terrifying thing about the original Pizzaface prototype. No, that has to be seen to be believed…



Yes. Pizzaface was originally going to have a meatball-shaped, moustacheoed Siamese twin growing out of the top of his skull, hidden beneath his chef’s hat.

That is just… Wow.

Sadly, Pizzaface ranks primarily as the biggest waste of potential in TMNT history. He never appeared in the Fred Wolf cartoon or Archie comic book series (the two pieces of media responsible for promoting the action figures) and summarily drifted off into the realm of TMNT character obscurity alongside Halfcourt, Monty Moose and Sgt. Bananas.

The closest we ever got to a "fiction" appearance was in the TMNT newspaper strip, where he showed up in a Sunday strip.  I put "fiction" in quotation marks, because the Sunday installments didn't follow the storyline from the dailies, but rather it rotated between pin-up art, fan art and environmental tips.  But hey, here he is as drawn by Jim Lawson:

Well... It's something.  Not much, but something.

Thankfully, fans exist. And the remarkably talented folks at Workhorse Illustrations gave us a pretty bitchin’ three-page comic, “Raph n’ Casey VS. Pizzaface”.



It boasts all of Pizzaface's gimmicks seen through a truly wild artistic lens.  A tip of my hat to you gentlemen.

So, in review:

Pizzaface is a psychotic, peg-legged, meat cleaver-wielding Italian chef with a Siamese twin growing out of his skull who chops off his own body parts, bakes them into pizzas and feeds them to the Turtles in an attempt to poison them because they foiled his plan to bake himself alive inside a radioactive oven.

I believe that you are only allotted ten opportunities in your entire life to sincerely use the term “rad” to describe something.

Pizzaface is freakin’ rad.

Now, I only have six rads left. It was totally worth it.

UPDATE (October, 2014):

So I've been asked to update this dissertation on Pizzaface by a number of fans.  And why is that?

Because he recently appeared in the Nickelodeon TMNT animated series as a guest villain.  My life is complete.

As seen in the episode aptly titled "Pizza Face" (with an inexplicable parse in his name), a pizza chef named Antonio discovers a canister of Kraang mutagen in an alley outside his restaurant.  Always up for discovering new toppings, he decides to taste the glowing ooze.  Now he's a giant pizza-man.

One of the Nickelodeon cartoon's greatest skills is its ability to mimic different genres depending on how the writers, storyboarders and directors are feeling on a given day.  When they do a horror episode, they do a HORROR episode ("Of Rats and Men", "Within the Woods").  And when they decide to do a full on zany comedy relief episode, they pull out all the stops.

"Pizza Face" is one of those episodes; so weird and bizarre even by this show's standard that it has to include an ambiguous ending potentially relegating the events to "just a dream" territory.  Because this story involves a pizza-man delivering poisonous talking pizzas to unsuspecting New Yorkers in a scheme to hypnotize them so that they'll march to his pizzeria and bake themselves alive in giant calzones (so he can eat them).

It's absolutely bonkers and just about everything I'd ever hoped for in a Pizzaface story.  There's even a musical number sung by John DiMaggio (doing a Super Mario impression for his Pizzaface voice) with lyrics set to the Italian... pizza... song?  Does it have a name?  You know the one I'm talking about, right?

Pizzaface's MO in this episode is similar to what was originally described on his toy card (delivering tainted pizzas in an attempt to kill the Turtles), but writers Kevin Burke and Chris Wyatt add an extra layer of nastiness to it by making Pizzaface a cannibal.  They even retain the concept discussed above from the prototype toy, in which Pizzaface would taint the pies with his own dismembered body parts.  Albeit, rather than fingers, Pizzface is now made entirely of pizza, using his cheesy flesh to make the consumables.

And that does bring me to my one criticism.  Pizzaface as depicted in the Nick cartoon looks nothing like the mad chef from the original toyline.  Instead, he's an homage to Pizza the Hutt from "Spaceballs".  I suppose transforming him into a giant mozzarella slug made it easier to get cannibalism past the BS&P censors.

And yet, the Pizza the Hutt homage is not without precedent!  Recently through some eBay listings, I stumbled upon this genuine Pizzaface action figure design sketch from Playmates artist Errol McCarthy.  Notice what Pizzaface's original working name was going to be?

That's right.  "Pizza the Hut".  And we've come full circle.

So, what does the future hold for Pizzaface?  Will he make a second appearance in the Nickelodeon cartoon?  Will he show up in the IDW comic?  Will Playmates make a new action figure for him?

Only time will tell.  But one thing is for sure: Pizzaface always delivers..

Celebrate Easter the Usagi Yojimbo way!

Today is Easter and TMNT Entity would like to celebrate it by highlighting the Ninja Turtles' favorite bunny!

No, not Hokum Hare. Miyamoto Usagi of Usagi Yojimbo!

So if you haven't already, take the time to learn about the many crossovers between the TMNT and Usagi from the Mirage comics and have a Happy Easter!

*"Turtle Soup and Rabbit Stew"
*"The Crossing"
*"The Treaty"
*"Shades of Green, Chapter One"
*"Shades of Green, Chapter Two"
*"Shades of Green, Chapter Three"

Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #3

Publication date: July, 1993

Story and art: Stan Sakai
Colors: Tom Luth

“Shades of Green” Chapter Three

Summary:

At the Neko Ninja clan’s HQ, Chizu is concerned over the number of troops they lost in the invasion of Kakera’s village, to say nothing of the number Gunji dismissed into the hills to lead his adversaries astray. Gunji waves away her concerns, insisting that his plan to secretly steal Kakera away to Neko Ninja clan territory under the guise of woodcutters is fool-proof. Smug, Gunji reminds her that should he succeed, he will seize full leadership of the Neko Ninja clan and Chizu will have no place among them save as his “consort”. Disgusted, Chizu leaves.

In the forests nearby, the Turtles, Usagi and Gen follow Leonardo back to the Neko Ninja HQ. Leo, however, is still recovering from his wounds and is having trouble walking. Don promises the others to keep Leo out of the fight while Gen doubts Leo even knows where he’s going. Suddenly, Gen slips on a trap, leaving Raph to save him from an onslaught of poisoned darts.



Soon after, they arrive at the Neko Ninja HQ and fight their way past the few remaining sentries. Attempting to lead the ninja away from Leo, Don winds-up cornered by his foes. Suddenly, Leo bursts onto the scene and chops down the ninja, saving a very startled Don. The Turtles and Gen fail to find any trace of Kakera, however, Usagi notices some suspicious wagon tracks and gives chase on his own.

By a waterfall, Gunji, Chizu and their plain-clothed henchman pull a wagon of sticks behind them, with Gunji certain his ruse has succeeded. As Chizu stops to clean her face in the stream, Gunji has his men encircle her, deciding not to take any chances on leadership of the Neko Ninja clan. Before they can strike, Usagi arrives and Gunji orders his men to deal with the rabbit while he duels Chizu. As Usagi takes down the Neko Ninja, Chizu slays Gunji.



Chizu then approaches Usagi, saying that her brother, Shingen, spoke highly of him after he aided the Neko Ninja clan in the Dragon Bellow Conspiracy. She has one more surprise for Usagi, laying a big kiss on him. Chizu then departs, telling Usagi he can have Kakera. Usagi digs Kakera out of the pile of sticks on the wagon as the Turtles and Gen finally catch up.

Epilogue One: The Turtles bid Usagi and Gen good bye, hoping to see them again sometime in the future. As Raph insists, “Next time… Our place!”, Kakera casts his spell and the Turtles return home, leaving behind the four normal turtles that had been collected from the river the previous day.



Epilogue Two: As Usagi and Gen leave the village, Gen wonders if Kakera is safe from the Neko Ninja clan. Usagi says that he got an assurance from Shingen’s sister, which is good enough for him. That out of the way, Gen decides to head after a bounty up north while Usagi chooses to travel east. The pair bid farewell and part ways.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #2.

*This would be the last recorded adventure between the Mirage Turtles and Usagi. However, TMNT (Vol. 4) #30 references an untold adventure where Usagi gives Leo a set of samurai armor. Incidentally, depending on how seriously you take pin-ups, Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #25 and Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #53 feature TMNT/Usagi bonus pin-ups.

*Usagi will meet the IDW Turtles in TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo #1.

*In the letters column, Sakai reveals that the plot for “Shades of Green”, an homage to Kurosawa’s “Seven Samurai”, was created two years prior to Usagi Yojimbo’s switch from Fantagraphics to Mirage. Originally, the part of Gen was to be played by Tomoe-Ame.

*This issue also contained a back-up story, “Autumn”, also by Sakai.

*This issue was collected (albeit in black and white) by Dark Horse Comics in Usagi Yojimbo Book 8: Shades of Death.


Review:

While Chapter Two had most of the big action in it, Chapter Three of “Shades of Green” ends with some well-drawn skirmishes and a nice epilogue.

I rather got the feeling that this was never meant to be the last TMNT/Usagi crossover in the comics, as the other Turtles spend most of the issue warming up to Gen and learning about Usagi’s world, sort of whetting their appetites for future adventures. Alas, further exploits on the printed page were never meant to be, though I did enjoy all the crossovers we got in the 4Kids animated series quite a bit.

Overall, “Shades of Green” cruises by very quickly for a three-issue story, though most of Sakai’s Usagi comics tend to be quick reads. His style of storytelling is somewhat decompressed (though not obnoxiously so, like most manga) and he prefers to tell the story through highly visualized action sequences over characters prattling on about what they’re doing as they’re doing it in order to pump more plot into a limited amount of page space.

But this more cinematic approach really gives you time to stop, look and appreciate the characters and the world they live in. The page-long views of the surrounding environment and the limited amount of dialogue per panel, allowing you to watch the characters’ expressions change with each new line, really let you invest in the story and its players.

“Shades of Green” may not be one of the best Usagi stories ever written, but I’ve also never read an Usagi story I didn’t like, either. It’s a very fun TMNT tale, even if it doesn’t really give the characters enough time to explore the strange new world they’ve landed in. Hopefully, if you TMNT fans do go out and read it, it’ll act as your “gateway drug” into the Usagi Yojimbo comics as it did with me.

Grade: B+ (as in, “But the Neko Ninja can aim about as well as the average Storm Trooper”.)

Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #2

Publication date: May, 1993

Story and art: Stan Sakai
Colors: Tom Luth

“Shades of Green” Chapter Two

Summary:

Inside Kakera-sensei’s home, the Turtles, disoriented and believing their sudden teleportation to be a trick of the Foot Clan, prepare to do battle. Leonardo, however, calls his brothers off, claiming he knows the rabbit standing before them. Leo and Usagi greet each other, having met three times in the past. Kakera then explains the score: that the Neko Ninja clan are after him for his mystical abilities.



Outside, a sentry spots a pair of Neko Ninja before getting chopped down. The Turtles, Usagi and Gen give chase, successfully taking down one of the spies. The other escapes into the woods, unaware that Leo is secretly following him. Leo tracks him back to the Neko Ninja clan’s HQ, but decides to return to the village after spotting a number of guards.

Inside, the spy reports the recruitment of Usagi, Gen and a Kame Ninja clan (the TMNT) to Kakera’s aid. Gunji declares that they will attack en masse tonight, as their superior numbers will be more than enough to take down their opposition. Chizu believes they should cut their losses before they lose more of their number, but Gunji refuses her advice, insisting that after this victory, full support from the Neko Ninja clan will be given to him.



At the village, the local farmers begin preparing themselves for the attack Kakera predicts to come. Snooping around, Mike is astonished by all the walking, talking animals and begins asking Usagi, Gen and Kakera how they all evolved; a concept totally foreign to them. Gen, on the other hand, is more disturbed by the TMNT’s habit of traipsing around in the buff.



Suddenly, the Neko Ninja begin their assault, burning down a home. It is a distraction, as they attack from the opposite end of the village. A battle ensues, though the heroes are badly outnumbered. Luckily, Leo arrives just in time to help his buddies out. Unfortunately, a handful of blinding powder to the eyes and a sword-slice to the shell takes him out of the fight and the Neko Ninja escape. Usagi tries to help his injured friend, but all Leo can say is, “No—They’ve captured Kakera…”


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #1. The story concludes in Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #3.

*This issue also contained a back-up story, “Usagi’s Garden”, also by Sakai.

*This issue was collected (albeit in black and white) by Dark Horse Comics in Usagi Yojimbo Book 8: Shades of Death.


Review:

The real action in “Shades of Green” gets underway with a very exciting middle section.

Sakai has a talent for drawing “big brawls” and he often takes the opportunity to employ long panels that stretch from one end of the page to the other to facilitate the action. It’s one of his strengths, for sure, but I also enjoy how he never goes overboard with the violence in his battle sequences, either. Sword cuts rarely elicit gore unless it’s for dramatic purposes (such as Leo’s wound) and death is almost uniformly rendered as “cute” (the little skull and cross-bone thought bubbles). It’s one of the things that makes his comics suitable for kids, and really, in today’s world of “Identity Crisis”, “Ultimatum” and anything written by Kevin Smith, we need more comics that are fun, intelligent and suitable for all audiences.

My favorite part of the issue, though, wasn’t the action but the one-page back-and-forth between Mike and Usagi. I think the sequence might have suited Donatello a bit better, is it focuses on the scientifically-minded Turtle and the spiritually-minded Rabbit trying to understand one another’s universe and “scientifically-minded” is more Don’s thing than Mike’s. Still, regardless of that, Gen’s punchline at the end of the conversation was great.

The Turtles mention that Leo had met Usagi three times before this story, thus accounting for all three TMNT/Usagi Yojimbo back-up strips published prior to “Shades of Green”. However, when I first read this issue, I hadn’t been aware of the existence of “The Treaty”, so I remember being very confused and scrambling to find out what this “missing” story way. Sadly, we’ve never had all three of the original crossover strips reprinted together in a single volume, the closest being Fantagraphic’s recent hardback anniversary volume, which only collects two of the three strips.

“Shades of Green” continues strong into its center chapter with perhaps my only criticism being that Leo’s blood on the cover was recolored to look like mud for some reason, but the art is not altered to close his wound, making it look like Leo is oozing… “bile” from a gash in his shell.

Grade: B+ (as in, “But the Turtles also make this face (^__^) waaayyyy too much for my liking”.)

Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #1

Publication date: March, 1993

Story and art: Stan Sakai
Colors: Tom Luth

“Shades of Green” Chapter One

Summary:

On a narrow cliffside path overlooking a river, Usagi and Gen find themselves attacked from both sides by the Neko Ninja clan. After a brief skirmish, the pair of masterless samurai dive into the rapids below and narrowly escape the Neko Ninja’s archers.



Two miles downriver, they beach themselves, exhausted, and are met by an old rat; Kakera-sensei. Kakera informs them that they’re right on time and invites them back to his home for supper. Hungry, Usagi and Gen decide to follow. After dinner, Kakera explains that the Neko Ninja have surrounded his village, not letting anyone come or go until Kakera gives himself up.

Elsewhere, at the HQ of the Neko Ninja, the current Jonin, a kunoichi named Chizu, is having an argument with her subordinate, the bitter Gunji, who thinks she’s unqualified to lead the clan. Chizu does not want to lay waste to the village in order to acquire Kakera, but Gunji reminds her that the Neko Ninja clan have recently fallen out of favor with their Lord Hikiji, who has taken a fancy to the Komori Ninja clan. If they do not get results, they will lose their place forever.



Before blows can be traded, Gunji and Chizo spot a pair of Komori Ninja spying on them. The bats attempt to fly away, but Chizo and Gunji bring them down. Realizing the threat the Komori Ninja represent, Chizo declares war.

Back at the village, Kakera refuses to tell Usagi and Gen what the Neko Ninja clan wants with him, at least not until the other samurai he summoned for have arrived. A young boy then enters with a grim package: the head of one of the samurai! Kakera realizes that the only way to fight ninja is with ninja.



Gathering four turtles from the river, Kakera performs a magic spell transforming them into… The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Confused and battle-ready, Leo asks, “Okay… Now what?”


Turtle Tips:

*Leonardo last met Usagi in “The Treaty”. The story continues in Usagi Yojimbo (Vol. 2) #2.

*This issue also contained an unrelated back-up story, “Jizo”, also by Stan Sakai.

*This issue was collected (albeit in black and white) by Dark Horse Comics in Usagi Yojimbo Book 8: Shades of Death.

*”Kakera” (欠片) is, of course, Japanese for “splinter”.


Review:

Stan Sakai really is a master cartoonist, and if I had the dough, I would pick up that hardback anniversary collection that Fantagraphics published last year containing the entirety of his first volume of stories. And I may do so, yet, if I can scrounge the funds together. Usagi Yojimbo is just great reading.

The six crossovers between Usagi Yojimbo and the TMNT form a very fun and well-crafted narrative, with the second half (the “Shades of Green” three-parter) being the more epic of the series, bucking the “guest cameo” gag strip nature of the first three strips and really giving the Turtles and Usagi an adventure to sink their paws and flippers into.

One of the things that’s so positively enjoyable about Usagi Yojimbo as a rule is that, despite decades and decades of ongoing stories and character development, the series never becomes mired in continuity, always remaining accessible to new readers while appeasing seasoned fans all the while. Though comparatively early on in Usagi’s career (he first appeared in 1985), this first issue tells you everything you need to know about the characters and their world in the first couple pages, getting audiences quickly on their way. There are references to past stories involving Usagi’s encounters with the Neko Ninja clan, but they don’t muddle the story’s comprehensibility in any way, flowing naturally and unobtrusively. And, like I said, this comes as a “rule” to Usagi Yojimbo comics as a whole, not just first issues. You can pick up the story practically anywhere you want and follow along with few obstacles.

The story in this first chapter breezes by quickly, but the build-up to the Ninja Turtles' appearance is well done. Kakera-sensei looks exactly like Splinter (and the reference is even more obvious when you know Japanese), which makes for a fun gag, if only because I enjoy seeing how Sakai renders the established TMNT cast. Tom Luth’s colors are a nice bonus, though as Usagi Yojimbo comics go, they’re drawn to function just as well in black and white, so you aren’t really losing anything in the trade-off if you go for the graphic novel reprints. I’ll admit, though, that the two-page spread of the Turtles appearing in a cloud of magic smoke on 18-19 has some extra oomph to it thanks to the colors.

I don’t normally talk about these when they aren’t TMNT-related, but the back-up story, “Jizo”, is a beautiful short. Done primarily in pantomime (save for some bookending dialogue to set up the story), it tells a simple yet touching tale across eight pages, each with the same panel layout and visual POV from start to finish.

While this issue is pretty much all set-up, it’s set-up that comes with a cool pay-off. “Jizo” alone is worth snatching up this issue or the graphic novel it’s collected in.

Grade: B (as in, “But seriously, the only bad thing about this comic is the ad for TMNT III on the back cover. And that’s hardly Sakai’s fault”.)

Sirensong

Originally published in: Plastron Café #1
Publication date: December, 1992

Written and drawn by: Michael Dooney
Lettering: Mary Kelleher

“Sirensong”

Summary:

As part of a freelance “debugging” team, Gizmo and Fluffy are working their way through an abandoned Phewton dreadnaught, clearing away any booby-traps the previous owners may have left behind. Easily taking care of a few minor inconveniences, Gizmo and Fluffy begin to let their guard down, and of course that’s when a shapely lady roundhouse kicks them both in the head.



The lady is Siren, their boss in the debugging operation, and she doesn’t appreciate her employees getting cocky on such a dangerous job. Gizmo and Fluffy are happy to brush off her paranoia, at least until a horde of monstrous “Watchdogs” spring out of a hatch and attack. The trio dispatch the monsters with a splash page and proceed to the next booby-trap: a tripwire-activated explosive which Gizmo expertly trips over and explodes.

Siren helps the badly singed Gizmo to his feet, congratulating him on his excellent job debugging the dreadnaught. And there’s even better news: only five more to go! Gizmo moans in agony.


Fluffy Facts:

*This story has never been reprinted.

*“Sirensong” would be the last Gizmo story for ten years; Gizmo and Fluffy not appearing again until 2002’s TMNT (Vol. 4) #6, in the back-up story “A Few Small Repairs”.


Review:

Opening appropriately enough with Gizmo announcing “We’re Back”, this happens to be the first Gizmo comic in three years and would be the last for a whopping ten. Dooney brings his absolute A-game with this one boasting some expertly detailed hi-tech equipment aboard the dreadnaught, some sweet monsters (that look like a cross between the Xenomorphs from “Alien” and a styracosaurus) and Dooney’s favorite thing to draw: curvy ladies.

The titular Siren suffers from the usual problem with Dooney girls, in that they all tend to look very much the same (and her outfit is ridiculous), but she gains an edge by being very expressive and posing in ways that compliment the flow of the story, not the reader’s orgasm. I can’t tell you how many comic book artists who specialize in “sexy women” are only capable of drawing dull-faced pin-ups, with no idea how to set-up action outside of thrusting and hip-swaying, and even less of a grasp on facial expressions that don’t involve bedroom eyes and pouty lips. So with that in mind, though Dooney’s ladies do tend to fall victim to a template, his professional qualities as an artist more than make up for that.

One small detail throughout this comic I really enjoyed was Gizmo’s hat. Depending on his attitude or the action involved in the panel, it goes from bill forward, to bill backward, to having the bill flipped up Fresh Prince-style. It’s just a neat little detail that goes a long way in giving Gizmo extra personality.

Fluffy isn’t given a whole lot to do in this story, unfortunately, though he does get to bash some heads alongside Siren in the two-page spread (Gizmo, apparently, stays out of that fracas, leaving the fighting to the trained and armed individuals; another nice detail). Though he’s a bit like baggage in this story, Fluffy will take a more active role in the next comic.

In ten years.

Apparition

Originally published in: Turtle Soup (Vol. 1) #1
Publication date: September, 1987

Story, art & letters: Francis Mao

“Apparition”

Summary:

Midnight in an alley on South 5th Avenue, and the Turtles are all badgering Don as to what exactly they’re doing there. Don relates his story one last time…

Just after 11 o’clock, Don was heading to the grocery store for April when he bumped into a distressed young man on the run. Only briefly shocked at meeting a giant turtle, the young man had more important things on his mind and hid both himself and Don from a car full of gang thugs that were hunting him. The man introduced himself as Sal Pitela. A local gang, the Daggerlords, had invaded his apartment and taken his wife and children hostage. Sal managed to escape but he feared what might happen to his family if he didn’t get help. He asked Don to meet him outside his apartment on South 5th Avenue at midnight while he tried to get help from the police.



Well, it’s midnight and Sal is a no-show. The Turtles begin discussing what to do when they hear a woman’s scream coming from Sal’s place. They decide to intervene, while Don stays behind and waits for Sal. As his brothers invade the apartment and begin knocking gang-banger heads, Don is approached by the shadowy figure of Sal, appearing from a darkened alleyway. Sal tells Don that he didn’t make it to the police and that it’s up to him to save his family. Don joins his brothers and dispatches with all the thugs.

Mrs. Pitela (thinking the Turtles are wearing weird gang costumes) thanks her saviors, though Don reveals that it was Sal, outside, who was the real hero. Mrs. Pitela conveys shocking and tragic news that it couldn’t have been Sal that Don had talked to a moment ago, as the gang had shot him earlier when he was trying to escape and carted his corpse back to their apartment. Don and the Turtles investigate the bedroom and Don IDs the dead body on the bed as Sal Pitela.

As the cops clean up and the Turtles disappear, Don ponders what exactly it was that he saw in the alley…


Turtle Tips:

*This story has never been reprinted.


Review:

Three of my favorite stories in the original Turtle Soup one-shot all happen to be horror themed tales (the other two being “Turtle Dreams” and “The Howl”). Turtle Soup wasn’t exactly intended to be a spooky anthology, but such stories make up about half its content never-the-less.

“Apparition” begins as a typical Turtle tale, with one of the ninjas minding his own business and being thrown into an adventure by pure happenstance, this one involving street thugs and a hostage situation. While the twist ending spoofs one of the more well-known ghost story tropes in existence (think of the bit with Large Marge from “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”), it’s still chillingly effective in its execution.

Mao’s artwork is fittingly dark and gritty, with the inking complementing both the urban and ghostly natures of the short. His pencils aren’t entirely to my liking, particularly the expressions on the human characters like Sal and a few mishaps in anatomical size balance (Sal’s itty-bitty baby hand on page 6 distracts from his apparition’s haunting appearance).

While “Apparition” probably averages out to a pretty “okay” story, I found it was one of the better installments in the one-shot even if it doesn’t hold up that well to in-depth scrutiny.

Grade: B- (as in, “But now I just thought about the Large Marge segment of ‘Pee Wee’s Big Adventure’ and can’t fall asleep..”)

Pesticide

Originally published in: Turtle Soup (Vol. 1) #1
Publication date: September, 1987

Story and art: Frank Bella

“Pesticide”

Summary:

As Leonardo walks down the street, expounding on how most turtles like to hide in their shells, he sees his brothers besieged by giant cockroaches. Revealing that he prefers to face trouble, Leo draws his blades and charges into action. As he does so, he contemplates, “I knew New York had a roach problem, but jeez!”

Ha-HA! Comedy.


Turtle Tips:

*This story has never been reprinted.

*Frank Bella has made the comic available for free on his homepage, HERE.


Review:

A two-pager by some guy I’ve never heard of with art I don’t particularly like and a joke that isn’t even funny.

I got nothin'.

TMNT (Vol. 1) #8

Publication date: July, 1986

Story and art: Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, Dave Sim and Gerhard
Lettering and production assistance: Steve Lavigne and Michael Dooney (credited in the editorial)

“Team Up with Cerebus” (title taken from official TMNT home page)

Summary:

In the 79th Level of the Dimension of Null-Time, the bubbly teenage apprentice Timestress, Renet, is anxiously sneaking into the private chambers of her boss, Lord Simultaneous. Inside, she finds the magical time scepter which can teleport her to anywhere in time and space. Suddenly, the furious, shadowy figure of Lord Simultaneous bursts in, demanding answers. Panicking, Renet asks the scepter to transport her to New York, 1986…



On the roof above April’s apartment, the Turtles are getting ready for their exercise routine by blasting each other with the fire hose, when suddenly Renet falls out of the sky and right on top of them. The Turtles introduce themselves to Renet (who is psyched to be in circa 1980s Manhattan, but who wouldn’t be?), but wouldn’t you know it? The giant glowing head of Lord Simultaneous appears above them, demanding Renet return. Renet freaks out and asks the scepter to take her and her new Turtle buddies as far away as it can; to before humans recorded history. And in a flash, they’re gone.

In the year 1406, Cerebus the Aardvark is dealing with some barbarian goons he’s hired for a fortress raid when Renet and the Turtles pop out of the sky and, yeah, that’s right. They land on top of him (lotta that goin’ around). Their arrival piques the interests of the demonic overlord residing within the nearby fortress, Savanti Romero, who recognizes the presence of the time scepter and orders his Captain to rally the guards. Savanti attacks, just as the Turtles and Cerebus were coming to terms, and blows them all away with a single wave of his hand. As the heroes lay unconscious, Savanti scoops up the time scepter and returns to his fortress. Eventually, everyone wakes up, leaving Renet to explain that the Turtles can’t go home until they get the scepter back. Cerebus agrees to help them raise an army to lay siege to the fortress if he gets to keep any treasure they find in the joint.



A few hours later, at Chet’s Tavern, The Turtles and Renet sit around drinking as Cerebus works his charm. By telling the local army that Renet is actually Myrtle, Queen of the Mystic T’Capmin Tortoises who grants an army invulnerability for one day every hundred years, he pretty much has the goons eating out of his hand.

Early the next morning, Cerebus sits pondering to himself that maybe he doesn’t need to steal the set of scrolls within the fortress that he promised a certain wizard and that said wizard’s magic couldn’t possibly work at such a distance. Cerebus focuses back on his mission after the wizard briefly transforms him into a hideous blob. The sun rises and the armies lay siege to the fortress while the Turtles, Renet and Cerebus prepare their sneak attack.

Consulting that most ancient of mystic tomes, “101 Uses for the Sacred Sands of the Time Scepter”, Savanti counter attacks by raising the dead buried in the fields just outside his fortress.

Meanwhile, our heroes covertly scales the outer wall and reach the walkway above. Cerebus IDs Savanti’s tower and the gang heads toward their target, though they have to cross 100 yards of warriors to get there. As the zombies slaughter the rebels outside, the Turtles make it past the guard and to Savanti’s tower.



Savanti is unfazed and quickly incapacitates them with lassos of energy. As he plots their destruction, said plotting is interrupted by the giant head of his arch-nemesis, Lord Simultaneous. As it happens, Lord Simultaneous is the one who caught Savanti scheming to overthrow him, mutated him into a demonic beast and banished him to the 1400s. Savanti threatens to use the time scepter on Simultaneous, who merely laughs the threat off and transforms into his true form: a short old guy in a silly hat. Savanti desperately attempts to blast Simultaneous, but his power has no affect. Simultaneous reveals that the time scepter is old news; he’s equipped himself with the latest in time-space technology, the Digital Cosmic Quartz (a wristwatch). Playtime over, Simultaneous makes the sniveling Savanti vanish with a snap of his fingers.

Simultaneous then addresses Renet. While he’s impressed by her attempts to retrieve the scepter, he’s gonna punish her anyway for stealing it in the first place. The Turtles warn him not to harm her, and rolling his eyes, Simultaneous teleports them away. Approaching Cerebus, Simultaneous piles him with the scrolls he was looking for and sends him on his way. Last but not least, he tells Renet its time to go home and face the music.

Epilogue…

Savanti Romero finds himself trapped in the age of dinosaurs. Cerebus has been transformed into a blob again by the wizard, who wants him to hurry up with the scrolls. The Turtles find themselves back in New York, albeit unceremoniously thrown into a dumpster. Renet has received her punishment; she’s to spend a week dusting, and with chains on to make sure she keeps out of trouble (two weeks, actually, because she calls Simultaneous a butthead).


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from Michaelangelo (microseries) #1. The story continues in Donatello (microseries) #1.

*The Turtles will meet Cerebus again, non-canonically, in Miami Mice #4. They’ll appear alongside him again, canonically, in The Savage Dragon #41. Until that story becomes noncanonical after the fact. Whatever.

*Savanti Romero and Renet will return in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #7.

*Leonardo will begin feeling time-space after-effects from his exposure to Renet's time sceptre beginning in "Turtle Soup and Rabbit Stew".

*Savanti Romero’s name is a play on horror film creators “George A. Romero” and “Tom Savini”. In fact, “Savanti” is even misspelled “Savini” on page 19.

*An alternate, Cerebus-free first encounter with Renet, titled "The Paradox of Chudnovsky", was written by Stephen Murphy and drawn by Jim Lawson in 2007 at the behest of Peter Laird, as he believed Dave Sim would not permit Mirage to reprint the issue. Dave Sim ended up giving Mirage permission and TMNT #8 was included in the 2009 publication, TMNT Collected Book Volume 1, thus making the need for Murphy's/Lawson’s version obsolete.

*A new frontispiece and epilogue were added to that story for the 2016 Russian printing, stitching it into the continuity of the Mirage universe. So, technically, THAT was the first encounter between Renet, Romero and the Turtles, although none of them remember it.

*This issue contains a front inside cover with a Turtle Tracks foreword by Eastman and a Turtle/Cerebus sketch also by Eastman. Backmatter included a Mirage News schedule, a letters and fanart page, and a page with both a request to purchase original comic art as well as an apology for not printing Rion 2990 in this issue. The back inside cover included a “Killer Kiwis” pin-up by “Chet Peace” (Eastman).

*This issue was originally supposed to contain a back-up story by Ryan Brown, “Rion 2990”, but complications delayed it until TMNT (Vol. 1) #9. It wound up not being published there, either.

*CHET ALERT: The tavern Cerebus takes the Turtles and Renet to is called “Chet’s Tavern”. Additionally, “Chet” is scrawled onto the dumpster the Turtles land in. The name “Chet” was an in-joke thrown into numerous comics by the Mirage crew because… they just liked the name!

*In 2022, Dave Sim would release a behind-the-scenes miniseries in the form of a "fanzine" titled Pieces of Turtles 8. This would lead to his release of a remastered TMNT #8 in 2023.


Review:

TMNT #8 is one of my favorite issues of Volume One and probably the book's best exercise in the one-off episodic style of storytelling that would eventually dominate much of it. The issue’s full of great action, but best of all, it never takes itself too seriously.

I’ve never read much of Cerebus the Aardvark by Dave Sim, so I mostly recognize the character from his plethora of gratuitous cameos in comics such as Spawn or Miami Mice. So when it comes to indie comics’ most beloved/controversial aardvark, I can’t really say he was a particular selling point. I know Eastman and Laird respect Sim and were thrilled to work with him, and his character art for Cerebus was certainly expressive and dynamic, but I didn’t think he really added to the story in a way that felt particularly necessary. The 4Kids cartoon’s adaptation, “Time Travails”, managed to work just fine without him (and yeah, I’m aware of his “cameo” in that episode, but you know what I meant). 

That aside, TMNT #8 just has a story that is paced really well, as the Turtles are thrown from one inexplicable misfortune to another at a machinegun pace, with each sequence segueing into the next perfectly. I think my favorite moment in the whole story happens on page 20, as Leo loses his cool and just expresses his overall annoyance at how the Turtles are always just trying to mind their own business but end up being thrown into outrageous situations anyway. So much quality face-palming on that page.

At 45-pages, this issue is positively packed with content, and while the story zooms by at a breakneck speed, it still retains an epic and exciting quality that other TMNT stories attempting a “fantasy/dungeon crawler” approach just can’t equal. Eastman and Laird (and Sim and Gerhard) are really at their finest in this one, jam-packing the pages with lots of expressive details and a great sense of comic timing; page 22’s shot of the Turtles all sitting in the tavern with various expressions on their faces being a perfect example.

So far as Renet and Savanti Romero go, I’ve always been partial to them moreso than other returning characters in the Turtle universe. Though Renet more often than not is never drawn very well, and scarcely ever actually looks like a teenager, I still like her as a character; her innocent and blithering behavior being a nice foil to the godlike powers she possesses. Savanti would appear quite a few times as a villain, though I found his best portrayals to be the ones that highlight his comic ineffectuality as a villain. His goofiness is laid on pretty thick in this comic (check his magic spell on page 31), and I think playing up his comical side is the right approach, as he’s just a generic “conquer the universe” type of villain and any attempt at making such a foe “grimdark” just comes across as boring.

TMNT #8 is one of the real highlights of Eastman and Laird’s original run on the title and, in my opinion, their best effort since the first issue. Even as someone who prefers the urban-level take on the Turtles, I can’t help but love this issue; it’s a perfect example of how you can take the Turtles to “fantastic” places and predicaments in the comics and not lose touch with what makes them awesome.

Reflections on a Metal Face

Originally published in: Mirage Mini Comics Collection (as story #5)
Publication date: 1989

Story and art: Michael Dooney

“Reflections on a Metal Face”

Summary:

At a bar, Gizmo is busy drinking and humming to himself when another robot steps up and asks to join him. Gizmo readily accepts the offer and “Digger” pulls up a chair.

As they talk, Digger is taken aback by the fact that Gizmo, a robot, “grew up” like a human child and, despite being 273 years old, looks like a gent of 25. Gizmo-himself can’t explain it, but merely shrugs it off as life is just too hectic to dwell on such things.



Digger, however, has a less pleasant history. Formerly a miner, he was left without a job when the company shut down the operation. While other bots of his model chose to run down, he decided to pick up his shovel and look for more work… to no avail.

Suddenly having a brainstorm, Gizmo runs and grabs an acquaintance of his at the bar, a mining operator named Grok. Grok needs robots who can dig by hand to work a contract on the Neztl plain. Thrilled at the opportunity for years of work, Digger takes the offer. As Digger strides out, he remembers he still has to pay his tab. Gizmo waves him on, offering to get it for him.


Fluffy Facts:

*This story has never been reprinted.


Review:

This was a nice little character-centric story. Michael Dooney once described the theme of Gizmo as simply being that of enduring friendship and kindness, which is pretty evident in this fairly saccharine tale.

Stories like “Reflections on a Metal Face”, focusing on Dooney’s theme of comradery and charity, create an interesting contrast to the earliest Gizmo comics, such as “Our Hero, Gizmo Sprocket esq.” and “Shopping Spree”. In those original appearances, Gizmo is this outlaw with an attitude, making trouble where he can find it; stealing from casinos and antagonizing law enforcement officers. It comes as something of a juxtaposition with his later appearances, where he’s almost generous to a fault.

Being written in 1989, “Reflections on a Metal Face” came after the six-issue Gizmo ongoing series refined the character, his motivations and his personality.

There isn’t much else to say about this mini comic, aside from the brief glimpse at Gizmo’s unconventional robotic “childhood” certainly raising some questions. While we got a number of stories focusing on companion character Fluffy Brockelton’s history, at least regarding his war record, Gizmo Sprocket’s background rarely came into play.

I don’t know if I’d qualify this as an “essential” Gizmo story, and Mirage’s Mini Comic Collection wasn’t one of their finest publications, though if you can get the set for cheap then you might as well go for it.

Domino Chance #8

Published by: Chance Enterprises
Publication date: December, 1983

Story and art: Michael Dooney

“Shopping Spree!”

Summary:

At a shopping center, Gizmo bids farewell to ‘Soto as he leaves to run his laundry list of errands. Unbeknownst to Gizmo, he’s being tailed all the while by an alien dog constantly going “yap!”

High above the parking lot, World Police Inspector Chisler happens to fly by and notice ‘Soto. Thrilled to finally have the opportunity to bring Gizmo Sprocket in, Chisler pulls in for a landing. The Inspector sneaks up on ‘Soto and, upon realizing that Gizmo isn’t inside, ducks into hiding, threatening the shoot Gizmo on sight should ‘Soto try to warn him.

Meanwhile, Gizmo gives the hungry mutt some French fries at the food court in hopes of shutting him up. Eventually, he shoos the pesky creature away out of pure irritation.



Alas, the armed Inspector Chisler gets the drop on Gizmo as he returns to ‘Soto. No amount of tongue-razzing is going to get Gizmo off the hook, and things look bleak, that is until the alien dog ferociously tackles and subdues the terrified Chisler. Gizmo thanks “Yap” with a rub on the head and a bowl of chow. Yap keeps the whimpering Chisler on the ground as Gizmo and ‘Soto make their getaway. Flying off, Gizmo remarks that “you never really know who your friends are!”


Fluffy Facts:

*Domino Chance #8 also featured the main title “Domino Chance” story by Kevin Lenagh and a bonus back cover ad/pinup of Domino Enterprise’s various comic book characters, including Gizmo Sprocket, also by Kevin Lenagh.

*The promo for the Gizmo ongoing series from Chance Enterprises titles it “Gizmo Sprocket Esq.”. The “Sprocket Esq.” would be dropped by the time of publication.

*The ad reads: “Gizmo Sprocket Esq. has the individualistic robot from the back pages of Domino, in his own comic, continually outwitting Inspector Chisler and making a fast buck for himself. (Bimonthly)”

*Incidentally, despite his prominent role in this story and in the promotional blurb, this would be Inspector Chisler’s one and only appearance.

*"Shopping Spree" was reprinted by Mirage in Gobbledygook (Vol. 2) #1.


Review:

As with the previous story, “Our Hero, Gizmo Sprocket esq.”, Gizmo’s criminal reputation takes a heavy focus; a reputation that would dissolve pretty much immediately after this story.

Though I like that Gizmo dropped the “outlaw” shtick early into his comic book career, I do think that there was some potential in the Inspector Chisler character as a returning antagonist, hokey though the “bumbling, obsessed police officer” archetype may be. Maybe it’s because it seemed reminiscent of the relationship between Lupin III and Inspector Zenigata, I dunno. Still, I understand that if you’re going to drop Gizmo’s outlaw status as a plot point, then the idea of a pursuing law enforcement officer would have to be dropped, too.

While Domino Chance #7 seemed to have only included the first Gizmo comic as a completely non-promoted afterthought, this issue is positively crazy for the character. The letters page is buzzing with positive feedback for the strip and even ends with the promise of a Gizmo ongoing series. The back cover pinup/ad features Gizmo among Chance Enterprise’s stable of personalities, as drawn by Domino Chance’s Kevin Lenagh. And the opening editorial once again praises the comic and promotes the upcoming ongoing series.

Pretty amazing how a back-up comic, shoehorned into the book in perhaps the most unflattering way possible, could have generated such tremendous positive feedback in such a short amount of time. But really, I believe that’s just a testament to the strength of Dooney’s artistic talents and the instantaneous likability of his characters more than anything else.

One element I really want to comment on is how great the inking in these comics is. There’s a great balance of light and shadow and Gizmo’s metallic sheen is executed particularly well. Dooney is an accomplished painter and he brings a lot of that skill to his inking. In the letters column, a David Puckett remarks that “Gizmo by Michael Dooney has a fine touch of professionalism” and he definitely had an eye for quality, as Dooney’s strips were a step above most of the other indie publications you’ll find from the era, at least in terms of visual production.

Domino Chance #7

Published by: Chance Enterprises
Publication date: November, 1983

Story and art: Michael Dooney

“Our Hero, Gizmo Sprocket esq.”

Summary:

Our hero, Gizmo Sprocket, races for dear life as a trio of furious humans gives chase, calling him “thief” and opening fire. Gizmo piles into his sentient spaceship, Soto, and after antagonizing the “fleshies” one final time, takes off for the safety of outer space.



Soto, aware things at the casino didn’t go over so hot, chastises Gizmo for losing. While stroking a fat stack of cash, Gizmo insists that the blackjack computer was rigged and he merely “fixed” it.


Fluffy Facts:

*This story was created as a 3-page comic, but was published in Domino Chance #7 on a single page, with each original comic page tilted horizontally and stacked one on top of the other.

*Domino Chance #7 also featured the main title “Domino Chance” story by Kevin Lenagh and a 2-page back-up story, “Life at Top Volume” by Larry Becker and Fugate.


Review:

So here we have the very first Gizmo story, or at least the first one that I know about.

It appears as though it was a last minute addition to Domino Chance #7, kind of shoved into the book in the most awkward manner possible. I can’t tell if it was originally intended to be a “mini comic” or just a 3-page short, though the way the text is so shrunken and hard to read I get the feeling it wasn’t meant to be published at such a squat size. There’s also absolutely no promotion for or mention of the comic on the credits page or in the editorial (though Larry Becker’s back-up gets lots of buzz).

Thankfully, Michael Dooney’s art doesn’t suffer much from the presentation. Each page consists of no more than 3 or 4 panels, so the art is big and easy to follow, even if the text might be a strain on the far-sighted. Gizmo has some magazines in a pouch on the inside of Soto’s door I get a feeling were supposed to be “Easter egg” jokes, but the text is so small I can’t read the titles.

I love Dooney’s design work for Gizmo and Soto in this series. Gizmo is a fairly generic, featureless humanoid robot, yet Dooney adds so much life and personality to the character through his facial expressions, body language and clothing. The “classic car” design for Soto is especially cool, moreso on the interior than the exterior, in my opinion. There’s so much detail in there, from the buttons on door lining to the leather seats, to the window crank and door latch. My mom owned a beat-up 1964 Impala SS (four door), and the interior was so similar to Soto’s that every time I see it I smell that car.

But getting back to Gizmo Sprocket, his first appearance here paints an interesting interpretation of the character that doesn’t really hold steady as his narrative progresses. Here, he’s introduced as a swindler or a con artist or an otherwise likable scoundrel, whereas later appearances tone him down to a more kind-hearted Joe, albeit one who always has a scheme up his sleeve and a wisecrack on his tongue. The “outlaw” angle will continue through his next appearance, “Shopping Spree”, as he’s hunted down by a police inspector, but will all but vanish by the time the Gizmo ongoing series rolls around.

I often wonder if this comic was ever published any place else before Domino Chance #7? If it was, I’d certainly like to scoop up a copy so I can read the story in better quality. As it stands, the “shrinking and stacking” doesn’t damage the contents too harshly. For an introduction, it paints Gizmo in a far different light than his subsequent adventures, but Dooney’s art and attention to detail still leaves “Our Hero” with its own attractive qualities. I found a near-complete run of Domino Chance in the dollar bin at my local comic shop, and chances are you’ll find them there, too. So if you’re a Gizmo fan I’d definitely say it’s worth it to see if you can hunt this issue down, as copies go for plenty cheap.

The Complete Gizmo by Michael Dooney

Gizmo by Mirage staffer Michael Dooney has always been a personal favorite comic book series of mine and one I've wanted to discuss as thoroughly as any of my Ninja Turtles reviews. So, as a special feature to TMNT Entity, I decided to throw up a guide to Michael Dooney's robot-dude from the future and hopefully introduce the character to those who may not know about him.

Next to the single short-lived ongoing series, the adventures of Gizmo Sprocket are largely related through a slew of back-up and bonus comics scattered across numerous indie comics of the 80s and early 90s (most commonly Mirage publications). A collected volume was published in a limited run, though it does not contain all the Gizmo comics produced.

So, with that in mind, hopefully this handy guide will help fans to track down Gizmo's many appearances. With any luck, I haven't overlooked anything!


Gizmo Comics:

*Domino Chance #7 (November, 1983), "Our Hero, Gizmo Sprocket esq."
*Domino Chance #8 (December, 1983), "Shopping Spree"

*Gizmo (Vol. 1) #1 (May-June, 1985), "A Gasket in Need is a Gasket Indeed!"

*Michaelangelo (microseries) #1 (December, 1985), "One Unconventional Robot"

*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #1 (1986), "That Was No Teddy Bear, That Was My..."
*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #2 (1986), "Finally Shandaar!"
*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #3 (1986), "Bits an' Pieces"
*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #4 (1986), "A Gasket in Need is a Gasket Indeed" (reprint with new frontispiece), "Peace on the Line"
*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #5 (March, 1987), "Lions an' Robots an' Girls oh my!"
*Gizmo (Vol. 2) #6 (July, 1987), "A Ghost of a Chance"

*Gobbledygook (Vol. 2) #1 (December, 1986), "Shopping Spree" (reprint)

*Grunts #1 (November, 1987), "Monuments"

*The Collected Gizmo (December, 1988), Gizmo (Vol. 2) #1-6 (reprints), "King for a Day", "One Unconventional Robot" (reprint), "Peace on the Line" (reprint), "Monuments" (reprint)

*Gizmo and the Fugitoid #1 (June, 1989), Book One
*Gizmo and the Fugitoid #2 (July, 1989), Book Two

*Mirage Mini Comics Collection story #5 (1989), "Reflections on a Metal Face"

*Plastron Cafe #1 (December, 1992), "Sirensong"

*TMNT (Vol. 4) #6 (October, 2002), "A Few Small Repairs"


Cameo Appearances:

*TMNT (Vol. 1) #9 (September, 1986), Raphael and Gizmo bonus pin-up.
*TMNT (Vol. 1) #13 (February, 1988), Leonardo and Gizmo bonus pin-up.
*TMNT (Vol. 1) #47 (May, 1992), "Masks, Part II"
*Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #33 (April, 2007), "Credo"

Meanwhile... 1,000,000 BC

Originally published in: Shell Shock
Publication date: December, 1989

Story and art: Michael Dooney

“Meanwhile… 1,000,000 BC”

Summary:

Way back in the age of dinosaurs, Mike is busy chiseling away at a rock while his brothers and Renet get ready to play some baseball. Renet is concerned that she won’t be very good, but the Turtles assure her that she’ll be the best baseball player on Earth… at least for the next million years or so.

The Turtles hunt down Mikey and ask what he’s doing to that rock. Mikey responds, “Giving some archeologist a heart attack!” and leaves his work to play ball.



On the rock, he’s chiseled a heart with the names “Fred” and “Wilma” inside it.


Turtle Tips:

*This story takes place during the three month period the Turtles and Renet were trapped in the prehistoric era in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #7. More specifically, it takes place between panels 4 and 5 of Page 35 of that issue.

*The stories “Spinal Tapped” and “Sweat, Sweat, Sweet Renet” also take place during that three month span of time.


Review:

Well, this was a cute little two-page story, though that’s all it really amounts to.

I never felt that the stories written into the three month gap from Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 1) #7 really did much with the predicament and potential stories that could be told with the Turtles stuck in dinosaur times. Even the meatier “Spinal Tapped” was just another Savanti Romero battle (and a continuity headache, though that’s a review for another day). You could tell that the Mirage guys left that gap in there so they could go back and fill it in with anything they wanted, but all we ever got before “Spinal Tapped” came along were a pair of comic relief shorts. And only one of them (this one) was any good.

It’s something you’ll notice if you sit down and do a thorough reading of the Mirage volumes; that the writers often set up a lot of potential story threads but would become too sidetracked with other ideas to ever revisit them. Though the three-month gap in Tales #7 was indeed revisited, it was only for some humor strips and a rather pointless back-up tale.

Anyhow, I find myself not really talking about this story much, hm? I guess that’s because it’s the first of the three Tales #7 “insert stories” that I’ve reviewed so I’m sort of just getting my feelings in general about that out of the way, now.

Dooney’s art is certainly nice. He draws Renet looking not much like a teenager, though at least he draws her rather attractively. Lawson’s Renet has always been and will always be positively hideous, and as he’s the artist who draws her most commonly, it’s a rare sight to glimpse Renet without a stick figure body with two huge beachballs pasted on her chest, tiny black dots for eyes, a head shaped like a flower vase and jagged, angular lips.

A Renet that’s actually cute-looking is something to be savored, even if she looks like she’s 16-going-on-29.

The joke’s cute, too.

Grade: B- (as in, “But I guess they don’t have Boomerang where Renet comes from”.)

IDW Publishing has the TMNT license! My gut response

As announced at Wondercon today (and via IDW Publishing’s website), Viacom has finally confirmed their intention to continue the publication of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comic books by licensing the brand out to IDW Publishing. Of course, when the news broke today, the first thing on everyone’s mind was: “But what does Mark Pellegrini think!?”

Ha.

Yeah right.

Well, I’m gonna tell you what I think ANYWAY.

I haven’t always had the highest opinion of IDW Publishing. As a Transformers fan, I was very critical of their product and rightfully so, as much of it was mediocre and haphazard. They had a habit of treating single monthly issues (“floppies”) as something akin to a “beta test”, or “not the final product” and they’d hit the shelves riddled with errors ranging from coloring, to spelling to cropping to speech bubble placement, always “to be fixed for the trade”. Kind of hard to be enthusiastic about following a title monthly when you know you were paying $4 bucks for an incomplete product. Their editing was never particularly professional, culminating in the infamously disastrous “Beast Wars Sourcebook”, which you can read more about here.

Their “Transformers Classics” line of reprints of the original Marvel comic book series was a disgrace, as they proved too cheap to pay licensing fees to reprint issues featuring Marvel-owned characters such as Spider-Man, Circuit Breaker of Death’s Head. Editing-wise, they even neglected to place miniseries like “The Headmasters” where they belong chronologically, shuffling them all off to a final volume, making reading the trades sequentially entirely incoherent. Even worse, in regards to their current Transformers ongoing chronology, they wouldn’t pay the license to reprint the Transformers/Avengers miniseries, which is a title they co-published!

After investing what had to have been hundreds of dollars in their product, I eventually dropped all my IDW Transformers subs halfway through the debacle known as “All Hail Megatron”, but the less said about that the better.

And yet, the IDW of two or three years ago is not the IDW I see on the shelves at my local comic shop today.

While they continue to produce their fair share of stinkers (Jurassic Park and more recently Godzilla), IDW has learned from their past errors and have been investing a greater amount of care and effort into producing a more professional, quality product. They’ve begun reissuing their contemporary Transformers comics in chronological hardback collections, properly edited to pay careful attention to continuity and timelines and even including stories they previously refused to pay licenses for (Transformers/Avengers). Additionally, they’re going to rerelease the Transformers Classics collections with all the material they originally skipped when they were too miserly to pay the licensing fees (and hopefully with the minis properly slotted in place).

In regards to storytelling quality, their Ghostbusters titles (which were easily some of the worst Ghostbusters fiction ever written) have skyrocketed over the course of the past year or so in the enjoyment factor, with their series of holiday-themed one-shots being nothing short of superb (if you’re a Ghostbusters fan, make it a priority to pick up the trade “Haunted Holidays”). They’ve doing some very nifty things with G.I. Joe, too, crafting their own unique chronology while giving Larry Hama license to continue the original Marvel continuity, even going so far as to maintain the original numbering!

Yessir, the IDW of the past six months to a year is nothing like the IDW I remember, which is a good thing, as this is the IDW that currently owns the license to publish and reprint TMNT comics!

When it comes to an original series, no creative team has been announced so far, but we can likely expect something based on the upcoming NickToons animated series and perhaps a series either continuing the continuity of the Mirage universe or keeping the atmosphere and sensibilities of that series alive. Reprints of classic Mirage material have been assured, which is what I’m more excited about than anything else.

Mirage was a small press company and only dealt with the direct market when releasing trade paperback collections of their TMNT titles. So you couldn’t find their TMNT books in mainstream book stores like Barnes & Nobel and only on particular online shops. And amidst all that, they were produced in extremely small quantities, making them almost instantaneous collector’s items. To this day, many fans and potential fans have yet to read the original adventures of the Ninja Turtles because they just can’t get their damn hands on reprinted collections!

Well, IDW won’t have that problem. So expect to see the original TMNT comics in collected volumes and on shelves at book stores as well as widely available through major online retailers; something that could do absolute wonders for the TMNT; introducing the original series to an audience previously unable or unaware of them.

If perhaps two years ago you’d have told me IDW was going to be publishing TMNT comics, I might have thrown up in my mouth a little. But the IDW of two years ago is dead and the IDW we have today is like it’s far more clean-cut and organized pod person doppelganger. And you know? I trust them to produce a quality product.

Don’t let me down, guys!