Taking a week off

I'm going to be in Arkansas from the 24th thru the 31st apartment hunting, so there won't be any updates for a week.

My apologies!

E = MC Zip Lock

Originally published in TMNT Adventures Special #11

Publication date: Winter, 1994

Story and art: Mark Bode’

“E = MC Zip Lock”

Summary:

At a castle somewhere remote, a billionaire nuclear physicist paid for by the government laments the environmental consequences of his inventions. Going mad, he constructs a giant shrink wrapping machine, the Wrap Walker, which will cover the globe in plastic. Then, once the plastic coating finally biodegrades after a few thousand years, the ozone layer will have been restored (though all living things on Earth will have suffocated).

Splinter, having complete knowledge of this scheme without explanation, dispatches the Turtles to the castle to stop the Wrap Walker. Alerted to their approach, the mad physicist traps the Turtles in a net and has a flying robot drop them off on a desert island.

While moping around the island, Raph finds a positively ancient box of emergency rations and downs a meatloaf sandwich. Unfortunately, the rations were tainted with radiation and Raph begins to expand and inflate because I don’t know. Leo then has a brilliant idea to use Raph as a life raft and the Turtles set sail. After two days at sea, they return to New York, where a vendor is conveniently on the beach selling various medical supplies. Mike buys Raph some iodine tablets to counter the radiation (causing Raph to cartoonishly deflate like a balloon) and the Turtles head back to the castle.

Arriving via hang-glider, they destroy the controls to the Wrap Walker just as it takes its first leap. The Wrap Walker crashes and destroys itself. Don then uses some of the shrink wrap to truss up the mad physicist, commenting that he’s about to be “zip locked” behind bars.


Turtle Tips:

*While I’m not normally inclined to call “non-canon” status on a TMNT Adventures story due to silliness, I’m afraid that’s the direction I’m gonna have to go in on this one. Considering Mark Bode’s last story, “Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher” was also a non-canon story, I feel a little better about it.


Review:

Mark Bode’ is back with another crazy weird short. I love Bode’s visual style, but his storytelling relies too much on random zaniness for my taste. The difference between cartoonists like him and Milton Knight, who both have bizarre artstyles, is that Knight follows an internal consistency in his comics. The plots may by nuts, but they follow their own logic and there’s a reason for everything that goes on. So even though those stories look as bizarre as all Hell, they make just enough sense from beginning to end to really be no wackier than the other stuff going on in TMNT Adventures.

Bode’, on the other hand, employs too much unexplained nonsense for his stories to really work inside the canon of TMNT Adventures. That doesn’t make them bad stories by any means, just that they should be taken at face value as the goofy, silly comedy pieces they are and not something with any relevance to the ongoing narrative of the title.

“E = MC Zip Lock” is a fun little romp for what it is. In a way, it feels like the Turtles have been dropped inside a Mega Man game. There’s an evil German-accented scientist that looks like Albert Einstein building robots inside his castle/fortress with designs on taking over and/or destroying the world. The mad physicist never got a name in this story, but in my head he might as well be Dr. Wily.

So from that perspective, the story is awesome.

Unfortunately, the time spent on the desert island is just a pointless diversion from the conflict. And thanks to Deviant Art, I can never look at a cartoon inflation gag the same way again. *shudder*

Grade: D+ (as in, “Dude, if Capcom had made those TMNT games for the NES we might have actually gotten a real Mega Man crossover…”)

TMNT Adventures Special #11

Publication date: Winter, 1994

Cover: Brian Thomas and Ryan Brown


Contents:

*“The Fifth Turtle”
*“E = MC Zip Lock”


Turtle Tips:

*In "The Fifth Turtle", Splinter celebrates his birthday. He previously celebrated his birthday in TMNT Adventures #45. So, obviously, this has to take place a year after that, but it also has to take place before TMNT Adventures #53, when the narrative becomes so serialized there’s no longer room for this story to take place. I place it after TMNT Adventures #52 to try and give it the most time since Splinter’s last birthday.

*Though I don't normally categorize TMNT Adventure stories as non-canon because of silliness, "E = MC Zip Lock" is just a bit too out there. The story is so stream of consciousness and full of impossibly cartoony nonsense that it simply doesn't work in-universe. Considering Mark Bode's last TMNT Adventures story, "Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher" was non-canon, I feel a bit better about this designation.

Zen Million Years to Birth

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #10

Publication date: Fall, 1994

Story: John Gentile

Art: Michael Gaydos

Letters: Gary Fields

Color: Barry Grossman

“Zen Million Years to Birth”

Summary:

Down in the sewer, Splinter is attempting to teach the Turtles a lesson about zen; the art of becoming one with your surroundings, forgetting yourself and learning to act without thought. Unfortunately, he attempts this lesson through archery and the cramped surroundings make that a task in and of itself. Splinter realizes that a field trip is in order, preferably to a wide open space. And it doesn’t get more wide open than Southeast Arizona.

Out in the middle of the desert, April has gladly driven the Turtles and Splinter to their training destination (and brought plenty of bottles of water to survive the trip). Enjoying the scenery, April spots a man digging up a cactus and immediately stops the van. The man is named Cid and he’s a cactus-rustler; poachers who steal protected species of cactus like the saguaro to sell to landscapers for a fortune. Cid drops to his knees and begs them not to turn him in, and Splinter agrees to show him mercy so long as he returns all his stolen cacti to the desert. As Cid gets busy replanting the prickly things, Splinter starts the Turtles on their zen lesson.

The Turtles don heavy sets of samurai armor as Splinter explains what a Japanese rock garden is. He tells them to begin creating patterns in the sand, decorated with rocks and to keep doing so until he tells them to stop. As he leaves, April asks what the point of rock gardening is. Splinter hopes that by forcing them to focus on their gardening, they will lose track of all thought and become one with their objective.

Many hours and rock gardens later, the Turtles haven’t learned squat. Cid, meanwhile, has taken to goofing off with the samurai armor on. Finishing up his last garden, Raph finds the remnants of an old town called Birth that appears to have been destroyed in a fire. He then excavates a spaceship because why not? The Turtles and Cid enter the ship and find several crystals laying around. A voice speaks to them through telepathy, claiming that if they reattach the power crystal that was dislodged in the crash, they will learn all the secrets of the Grog. Don suspects it may be a trick, but Cid greedily succumbs to the lure of infinite knowledge. Plugging in the power crystal, the Grog alien mind possesses Cid, turning him into a crystal samurai. Grog-Cid boasts that in fifteen minutes, the ship will repair itself and then go about possessing the minds of all the people of Earth. Grog-Cid is then flanked by a pair of cactus creatures, the physical forms of the Grog, and they chase the Turtles outside.

The Turtles try to fight the Grog, but their telepathic powers allow them to counter their moves before they make them. Splinter shows up and handily takes down several Grog, explaining that using zen techniques, his mind and body become one, eliminating all thought. At last understanding the value of zen, the Turtles employ what they’ve learned to battle the Grog. Don chases one of the Grog named Kak-Ti into the ship, but not before the villain procures a dehydration gun capable of sapping all water from its victims and transferring it to him. Unfortunately, because Kak-Ti only has one eye, his depth perception stinks and he ends up shooting his own soldiers.

Don flees outside as the ship tries to fly before its repair sequence is finished. The Turtles use their shells to smack Grog-Cid around and shatter his crystal exterior. One look at the cactus-monsters, though, sends Cid running away in horror. The Turtles take out the last of the Grog out in the desert as the ship, unable to properly fly, crashes back down to earth and reburies itself.

The adventure over, the Turtles decide to get back to their zen training, figuring they’ve just about got it down.


Turtle Tips:

*Due to the lack of Ninjara, this story has to take place before TMNT Adventures #28. Personally, I like to place it between TMNT Adventures #4 and TMNT Adventures #5. I do this mostly because April sits the whole battle out, indicating she hasn’t undergone her training from Splinter yet, which was first mentioned in TMNT Adventures #23. I also place it there because the plot of Splinter teaching the Turtles rudimentary lessons in martial arts technique seems to fit it even earlier in the series. As the Turtles would eventually display advanced telepathic communication skills with Splinter in TMNT Adventures #17, I figure this story should come well before that one.


Review:

Michael Gaydos really didn’t get enough work on TMNT Adventures. While his style was a little rough at first (“The Darkest Hour”), he improved rapidly and became one of my favorite infrequent contributors (the Merdude miniseries being my favorite of his work). Unfortunately, what with TMNT Adventures having a regular artist that almost always made his deadlines (and Jim Lawson seemingly locked-in as the fill-in artist), that pretty much meant Gaydos could only offer his talents to the occasional TMNT Adventures Special segment or miniseries.

“Zen Million Years to Birth” is the longest story in TMNT Adventures Special #10 and easily the best-looking. Unfortunately, it has a somewhat sloppy script that definitely would have benefitted from some tighter editing. For instance, no explanation is given as to why Cid is hanging with the Turtles after April lectures him (I assume it’s to replant the cacti he rustled, but it’s never stated or shown). He’s just… still there. Hours later. And why the heck does the Grog ship crash? I figured it was because it tried to take off too early, but no explanation is given. Most of the issue consists of comical battles with the aliens to the detriment of the story’s overall coherency.

And speaking of the “funny” fighting, it’s pretty much the sort of thing you’d have seen in the Fred Wolf cartoon because the Turtles weren’t allowed to punch anybody. Like, you know, when they’d drop a trashcan over some guy’s head and say something to the effect of, “You’ve been CANNED!” That sort of thing. It’s pretty loathsome in this story, though I did get a laugh out of Kak-Ti shooting his own troops because he has no depth perception. Unfortunately, the whole comedy battle just goes on way too long. And why the heck didn’t April do anything? She just vanishes from the story until the fight’s nearly over with no explanation for her absence. Again, it really could have used some better editing.

Grade: C- (“Cactus-related fiction wouldn’t recover from this blow until ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ came along fifteen years later”.)

A Perfect Evening

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #10

Publication date: Fall, 1994

Story/inks: Bill Fitts
Pencils: Dan Seneres
Letters: Gary
Color: Barry

“A Perfect Evening”

Summary:

Down in the lair, Leo, Mike and Don are scarfing down a peanut butter and jelly pizza. Don invites Raph and Ninjara to join them, but Raph refuses. He has a candlelit dinner waiting for Ninjara and him on the roof of April’s apartment building and nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is going to ruin their perfect evening. Naga begins to childishly mock the exiting lovebirds as the news report Splinter is watching warns of a chance of rain.

On the street, Raph promises Ninjara that they’re going to have the perfect evening. Suddenly, they spot a thief stealing a TV through a window. Raph stops him and terrifies the guy into running away, screaming. No sooner do they get their date back on track, a purse-snatcher knocks over an old lady, leaving Raph and Ninjara no choice but to be sidetracked again. As the rain begins to come down, they still haven’t made it to April’s building, as now a little girl has lost her cat down an open manhole. Raph climbs into the sewer and retrieves the kitty for the child as the rain begins to pour.

Unfortunately, Raph fails to notice a huge wave of rain water rushing down the tunnel his way. Raph is carried away in the flood and Ninjara, worried, dives in after him. She is swept away and loses consciousness.

Ninjara wakes up a little while later in Raph’s arms. Being a turtle and all, he was never in any danger of drowning, so she had nothing to worry about. Their plans ruined, Don brings them some leftover peanut butter and jelly pizza (and also drags the mocking Naga away). As they sit alone in the tunnel eating the cold pizza, Ninjara assures Raph that it was the perfect evening.


Turtle Tips:

*Naga last appeared in “Fox Trap!”

*As with “Fox Trap!”, I would place this story after TMNT Adventures #52.


Review:

Well, we finally got that “Raph and Ninjara go on a date” story that’s been long overdue in this book. Not that I wanted TMNT Adventures to become overrun with romance subplots (that’s what narrowly destroyed Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog book a few years before Ian Flynn turned it around), but something to make us believe that they’re actually in love beyond the text telling us so had become necessary. Their romance always just felt so artificial to me.

Dan Seneres turns in some strong pencils and Bill Fitts writes a cute if not especially hilarious script. I got the biggest kick out of Raph so nonchalantly defeating various petty criminals. After besting guys like Armaggon, the Shredder and the Biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a purse-snatcher is really just beneath him. There’s some good character work on Raph in here, such as the way he tries to ignore the weather report or how he insists on wanting things to go perfectly. It’s “romantic” while still being in character for him; you can tell Raph’s trying but it’s not something that comes naturally.

I don’t know how or why Barry Grossman did this, but Raph spends several pages of the story with an orange bandana, making him look like Mikey. Not just a panel or two, but whole pages. It’s a little distracting, but the only knock I can make against this story.

While long overdue, “A Perfect Evening” is actually kind of perfectly timed in its release. Right after this issue was published, TMNT Adventures began a storyline that saw Raph and Ninjara break up and lose each other forever. They spent most of that story arc fighting, too. So a story like this, that sees a rare instance of them being happy together, has a bit more impact when just around the corner is their ultimate break up.

Grade: B (as in, “But Ninjara calling him ‘my Raphy’ felt pretty awkward, all things considered,”)

Fox Trap!

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #10

Publication date: Fall, 1994

Story/layouts/inks: Bill Fitts

Pencils: Dan Seneres

Letters: Gary F.

Colors: Barry G.

Edits: Dean C. (Steve Murphy)/Scott F.

Honcho: Victor G.

“Fox Trap!”

Summary:

At Yosemite National Park in Northern California, Raph, Ninjara and Naga have decided to take a relaxing camping trip (at Splinter’s behest). Naga wonders if they’re going to see any action out in the wild, but Raph reminds the kid that they promised Master Splinter that they’d take it easy and not get into any trouble. Ninjara is fine with that order, as she thinks the scenery is so romantic it would be the perfect place for a honeymoon. Nervously, Raph runs off to find a place to make camp.

While stomping around, Raph finds a fox snared in a trap. Freeing the little guy, the trio is incensed at the prospect of poachers in a national park. They spot said poachers not far away: Lucienda Van Pelt, Queen of the Fur Trade, and her dimwitted son, Trapper Jon. The poachers have captured dozens of foxes and put them in a cage with designs on turning their hides into coats. Ninjara and Naga want to stop them, but Raph reminds them that they have to obey their sensei’s commands. They’ll make camp and notify the park rangers in the morning.

As night falls and everyone goes to bed, Naga finds himself restless. He decides to sneak over to the cage and free the foxes without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, he’s careless and is caught in one of Trapper Jon’s snares. Lucienda begins coveting Naga’s coat, contemplating all the outfits and accessories she can make from it.

The sun rises and Ninjara notices Naga missing. Waking Raph, she heads back to where they last spotted the poachers, knowing Naga must have gone there. The pair arrive just in time and trounce the two poachers. They then free Naga, set the foxes loose and truss the poachers up for the authorities.

Back at the lair, Naga relates their adventure to the other Turtles and Splinter. Ninjara tells Raph that perhaps next time they go on vacation they should just try a motel. Raph moans that they’d have a better chance of finding peace and quiet on a desert island.


Turtle Tips:

*Naga last appeared in TMNT Adventures #46. He’ll appear again in “A Perfect Evening”.

*Due to Naga’s presence and the break in the serialization of the ongoing, this story has to take place somewhere between TMNT Adventures #50 and TMNT Adventures #55. Personally, I just place it after TMNT Adventures #52.


Review:

As the lead story in TMNT Adventures Special #10, I actually thought “Fox Trap!” had the potential to go on a lot longer. The concept of it is interesting; a story revolving strictly around Ninjara and Raph (and Naga), giving them time to get their romance on. Believe it or not, but ever since Ninjara and Raph hooked up way back in TMNT Adventures #31, they’ve hardly had any alone time in the book to develop their relationship. TMNT Adventures #46 was the probably the biggest “Ninjara/Raph story” in the series and they spent the whole thing fighting. At 8 pages, “Fox Trap!” isn’t much and I was left feeling we could have gotten more out of it.

Anyway, it’s a decent little story. It’s cool to see Naga getting some page time, even if it’s just as the annoying little brother that screws everything up. We learn so little about Ninjara’s background and her family in TMNT Adventures that any material is welcome, no matter how brief or shallow. Lucienda and Trapper Jon aren’t particularly good villains, but I get the impression they weren’t meant to be.

When it comes to Bill Fitts’s script, I guess I have a few issues. I mean, since when does Raph walk away not only from a fight, but from doing the right thing, just because Splinter told him to? Even ignoring the fact that Raph is the “rebel” and blindly following their sensei’s orders is more of a Leo failing, I honestly do not think any of the Turtles would have interpreted Splinter’s orders as “see innocent animals getting skinned alive and do nothing about it until morning”. It just seemed wildly out of character for Raph. There’s also this one weird part on page 3 where Naga sniffs the air and then asks if Raph *hears* something. Wha?

I like Dan Seneres’s art style, though he gives Ninjara a strangely wide cranium (and goes a little overboard on her anatomical proportions). The expressions are lively and he packs a lot of panels into 8 pages (though the layouts were done by Fitts, admittedly). Not much else to say about the art, really.

TMNT Adventures Special #10 advertised itself as “the Raph and Ninjara issue”, but the two Raph and Ninjara stories are short comedy strips while the long-form adventure that goes on for 26 pages is a Ninjara-free story of wild west insanity. I honestly would have preferred it if the advertised Ninjara and Raph stories had gotten fleshed out more, as their romance never felt very well-developed and could have used all the help it could get.

Grade: C (as in, “California? They went from New York to California for a ‘weekend getaway’? Okay…”)

TMNT Adventures Special #10

Publication date: Fall, 1994


Cover: Chris Allan and Michael Dooney

Contents:

*“Fox Trap!”
*“Zen Million Years to Birth”
*“A Perfect Evening”


Turtle Tips:

*Due to Naga’s presence and the break in the serialization of the ongoing, "Fox Trap!" and "A Perfect Evening" have to take place somewhere between TMNT Adventures #50 and TMNT Adventures #55. Personally, I just place them after TMNT Adventures #52.

*Due to the lack of Ninjara, "Zen Million Years to Birth" has to take place before TMNT Adventures #28. Personally, I like to place it between TMNT Adventures #4 and TMNT Adventures #5. I do this mostly because April sits the whole battle out, indicating she hasn’t undergone her training from Splinter yet, which was first mentioned in TMNT Adventures #23. I also place it there because the plot of Splinter teaching the Turtles rudimentary lessons in martial arts technique seems to fit it even earlier in the series. As the Turtles would eventually display advanced telepathic communication skills with Splinter in TMNT Adventures #17, I figure this story should come well before that one.

*This issue also contained bonus pin-ups by Bob Fingerman, Bill Fitts and Michael Gaydos.

Be a Star

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #9

Publication date: Summer, 1994

Script: Paul Castiglia
Art: Stan Sakai
Colors: Barry Grossman
Edits: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)/Scott Fulop
Managing edits: Victor Gorelick

“Be a Star”

Summary:

Down in the lair, the Turtles are going over a photo album Don put together. When they get to the picture of Headrush, they begin to wonder how their little magical mole buddy is doing now that he’s back in his other dimensional world of Glum.

The answer is bored. Headrush is really, really bored. Suddenly, the old devil and angel caricatures appear on his shoulders. The devil tempts him to cheat the locals out of their money and property, while the angel tries to dissuade him. Headrush makes his choice and, with the help of the devil, locks the angel up in a hollow tree stump.

Back at the lair, Don finishes installing his suped up satellite dish that gets ALL the channels… even ones from other dimensions! By accident, they tune into “You Bet I’m Right”, the newest game show in Glum… with Headrush as host. Headrush introduces the barbarian audience to his three contestants: Broom the Janitor (who sweeps all his trash into an elephant’s house, making the lady pachyderm very angry), Salon the Barber-ian (who sits around the shop loafing all day because barbarians never cut their hair) and… himself!

As host, Headrush then begins asking the dimwitted barbarians a series of questions, such as how much he weighs and what color his hair is. Then, as contestant, Headrush answers them all correctly. Having won the game, Headrush first mocks the barbarians for being so stupid they couldn’t tell the game was rigged, then he begins demanding they pay up. The barbarians aren’t having it and the ones from the audience as well as the contestants swarm him from all sides, beating Headrush to a pulp.

Watching the whole thing unfold on TV, the Turtles and Splinter realize they must rush to Headrush’s rescue. Luckily, Cudley the Cowlick is ready and waiting on the river bank and the Turtles catch an interdimensional ride to Glum. Arriving just in time, the Turtles make short work of the rowdy barbarians and save Headrush. The Turtles scold Headrush for trying to cheat people, but Headrush insists that the devil made him do it. Splinter backs his claim, having tied up the tiny devil and freed the angel. Regardless of his influence, the angel and Splinter insist, Headrush should never have given into peer pressure and should have elected to do the right thing on his own.

Headrush apologizes and promises that from now on, he’ll only ever cheat people out of money the honest way… with a 1-900 number!


Turtle Tips:

*Headrush last appeared in “Full Circle”.

*A photo of Usagi Yojimbo can be seen just below Headrush in the TMNT’s photo album. An Usagi stuffed doll can also be seen on the couch on page 11.

*Some time has passed between this story and "Full Circle", but it still can't happen before TMNT Adventures #28. I personally just place it after TMNT Adventures #27.


Review:

Castiglia’s script for this second Headrush story in TMNT Adventures Special #9 easily outshines his initial effort, being far more fun and memorable. We actually get a better idea of Headrush’s personality as more of a con artist than an obnoxious prankster and I greatly prefer that take. The skewed moral compass also makes the knowledge that Cudley the Cowlick keeps him in line with blackmail a little easier to swallow (as Cudley is usually a nice guy and we’d need a good reason for him to hold a being in servitude like that). The ending lesson is ham-fisted as Hell, but at least the moral is kept mostly to the last few panels and everything preceding it is more preoccupied with being entertaining than educational.

The real attraction, though, is Stan Sakai’s fantastic cartooning. His lively, action-packed and often cute style just elevates this whole story beyond what it has any right to be. Sakai has such a great command of humor and charm that even jokes that sound dull on paper (a montage of Headrush complimenting himself) will capture your attention and make you smile.

What was fun for me was seeing Sakai let loose and draw places and props that weren’t themed around Feudal Japan. I’ve only ever read his Usagi Yojimbo stuff (and the occasional TMNT crossover), so I’ve never gotten to see how he handles other settings and sight gags. It was great seeing him draw everything from TV studios to barbarians to adding machines.

“Be a Star” is a decent story gifted with a great artist. It’s definitely worth snagging this TMNT Adventures Special for, especially if you’re already a fan of Sakai’s work.

Grade: B+ (as in, “But I’m a little disappointed that they got Jeff Smith to do the cover of this Special but not any of the stories”.)

Full Circle

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #9

Publication date: Summer, 1994

Script: Paul Castiglia

Art/Letters: Gary Fields

Colors: Barry Grossman

Edits: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)/Scott Fulop

Man. Edits: V. Gorelick

“Full Circle”

Summary:

Down in the lair, the Turtles have found themselves with way too much downtime. They begin arguing over the TV and a lot of rough-housing follows. Splinter, disturbed by the lack of focus and cooperation between his sons/students, decides to take his meditation to the beach for answers. While contemplating the situation, he is approached by Cudley the Cowlick. Splinter relays the info and Cudley is reminded of a story.

In another dimension, there lived a horde of barbarians that worshipped all earthly pleasures while refusing the spiritual. They invaded a land called Glum, which was populated by mystics, and drove the citizenry away. Before leaving, however, a witch enchanted a mole, giving him the ability to project illusions and mess with peoples’ heads. The mole took on the persona of Phineas T. Headrush and stayed behind to torment the barbarians with practical jokes and mind games.

Cudley explains to Splinter that, due to his space-time mastery, he actually has control over Headrush, as Headrush fears Cudley might go back in time to the moment before he was enchanted and reveal his origins to the Barbarians. With Splinter’s approval, Cudley fetches Headrush to teach the Turtles a little lesson.

Returning to the lair, Splinter interrupts another feud between the TMNT (this time about 90s action movie heroes). Disappointed in his pupils, he orders them to go for a walk forward through the sewers and not to return until their path brings them full circle back to the lair. As they start their journey, the Turtles immediately begin whining. Headrush then appears to them, introduces himself, and promptly vanishes.

Confused, the Turtles continue on when they find themselves trapped on a conveyor belt headed toward a pair of grinding gears. The Turtles all look to Don to use his mechanical genius to save them, but a strange yellow glow around his head stupefies him. Raph then comes to the rescue, jamming the gears with his sai and rescuing his brothers.

Moving forward, Raph finds himself trapped in a ring of fire. Normally he’d just leap to safety, but the strange yellow energy stupefies him, too. Mike then jumps in, spinning his nunchakus like fan-blades, blowing out the fire.

Before Mike can gloat too much, a giant pizza monster appears. Mike is typically the most knowledgeable on how to deal with pizza, but again, the yellow energy stupefies him. Leo then slices the pizza up with his katana and helps Mike to his feet.

Leo spots a light at the end of the tunnel, but before he can guide his brothers to it, dozens of spears start flying toward them from nowhere. Leo is stupefied by the yellow energy, leaving Don to deflect all the projectiles and begin leading his brothers down the tunnel.

Leo comes to and the Turtles finally realize the lesson they’ve just learned. The stupefying energy forced each Turtle to pick up the slack of their paralyzed brother and solve problems they’d normally never deal with. Now with a greater appreciation for what each Turtle brings to the team, the TMNT are ready to head to the light at the end of the tunnel. Opening the door, they find themselves in the lair; they’ve come full circle. Splinter introduces them to his partner in crime, Headrush, and reveals that he set the whole thing up. The Turtles are fine with it, though, as the lesson was worth the hardships.


Turtle Tips:

*Headrush will return in “Be a Star”.

*Due to the lack of Ninjara but the presence of Cudley the Cowlick, this story has to take place somewhere between the story arcs of TMNT Adventures #22 and TMNT Adventures #28. Personally, I just slap it in after TMNT Adventures #25 because eh, why not?

*Cudley the Cowlick last appeared in “Cleaver’s Critters”.


Review:

“Full Circle” is the kind of story I wish I could place way earlier in the series, like between TMNT Adventures #4 and TMNT Adventures #5, as it deals with the Turtles acting pretty immature and learning a simple lesson. Cudley, though, throws a wrench into the mix and due to that, it’s basically a story where the Turtles forget everything they’ve ever learned and regress back into simpletons for the purpose of relaying a generic message about teamwork to the audience. Boooo!

Letterer-turned-artist Gary Fields offers a competent style, though it lacks anything flashy to make it pop. It’s very simple and ho-hum; kind of like Dave Manak’s tenure on Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog. Not bad, no, but the book is capable of looking so much better. Fans give artists like Milton Knight with strong and unique styles a hard time, but I’d much rather have them than anything this bland-looking.

Headrush is nothing more than your standard Mr. Mxyzsptlk archetype; the impish creature from another dimension that enjoys using its magic powers to alter reality and prank our heroes. Such a narrow and specific character archetype, yet you’d be shocked at how many comics and cartoons resort to making their own carbon copy. All things considered, Headrush isn’t particularly annoying, like Bat-Mite or anything. In fact, he’s hardly there at all. His traps and puzzles are ever-present, but he rarely says anything beyond some generic commentary praising the Turtles’ responses to his handiwork. “Be a Star” will give you a better feel for the character and it’s definitely the better story in this Special, thanks exclusively to Stan Sakai’s artwork (but we’ll talk about that when I review it).

“Full Circle” commits perhaps the worst offense imaginable: It’s just plain forgettable. From the art to the script, there isn’t anything noteworthy about this installment. At least bad comics like TMNT Meet the Conservation Corps #1 or The May East Saga will stick with you for their bad art or incompetent scripting. This? You can’t even make fun of it.

Grade: Meh.

TMNT Adventures Special #9

Publication date: Summer, 1994


Cover: Jeff Smith

Contents:

*“Full Circle”
*“Be a Star”


Turtle Tips:

*Due to the lack of Ninjara but the presence of Cudley the Cowlick, these stories have to take place somewhere between the story arcs of TMNT Adventures #22 and TMNT Adventures #28. Personally, I place "Full Circle" after TMNT Adventures #25 and "Be a Star" after TMNT Adventures #27 (as the stories need some breathing room between one another).

Cleaver's Critters

Originally published in TMNT Adventures Special #8

Publication date: Spring, 1994

Script and art: Milton Knight

Lettering: Mary Kelleher

Colors: Barry Grossman

Edits: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Managing edits: Victor Gorelick

“Cleaver’s Critters”

Summary:

Still traveling through space inside the maw of Cudley the Cowlick, the Turtles brag about their recent adventure. Suddenly, Cudley gets caught in an intergalactic traffic jam, as hundreds of huge, weird creatures cloud the void. One smacks Cudley in the cheek, forcing him to spit-up the Turtles. The helpless ninja then crash-land through the roof of a mountaintop observatory in Dimension Grade-A. They wake up in a nursery, where a baby with a huge nose looks sad. His mother, Mrs. Beaver, comes in and sees the Turtles. Thinking them more critters created by her son, Cleaver, she drags them outside to hang with the rest (who are so many in number, they’ve piled up into space, causing the “traffic jam”). The Turtles explain themselves to Mrs. Beaver and ask her what’s going on.

Mrs. Beaver says that she used to live in town until one day Cleaver caught a rare, un-curable disease called the Monster Pox. The ailment causes Cleaver to sneeze up humongous, weird monsters (though they’re harmless, depending on his disposition). An angry mob, led by a hillbilly named Beebo, torched her house and drove her into the mountains, where she has been holed up in the abandoned observatory ever since.

Moved by her plight, Raph vows to help solve Mrs. Beaver’s problem. As they leave, Don gives Raph a sound thrashing with his bo staff; they’re lost in a strange dimension and can barely help themselves, let alone anyone else.

The Turtles decide to think it over at Heidi’s Tomato Hop and order a pizza. Unfortunately, Beebo is present and mistakes them for critters. A fight breaks out and the Turtles trash the gargantuan brute, though his body falls over on them, knocking them out. The waitress then suggests they solve the problem at its source by killing young Cleaver. Dressing up in white hoods and robes, they bury the Turtles alive in a cemetery to make sure they don’t get in the way, then march en masse to the observatory.

Seeing the mob close in, Mrs. Beaver finally goes over the edge. She asks Cleaver to begin sneezing big mean monsters to stop the mob. Cleaver does so and the monsters begin killing the rioters, though the sneezing starts to take a physical toll on the little baby. Meanwhile, in the grave, Raph has contracted Monster Pox from Cleaver and sneezes up a huge bird with a drill for a head. It digs them out and flies them up to the observatory. Leo tries to talk Mrs. Beaver down from her madness, but she accuses the Turtles of being with the mob. To end the madness, Raph begins sneezing up bigger, meaner critters to eat the ones Cleaver creates.

Eventually, hoping for a way to stop the violence once and for all, Cleaver sneezes up a storm cloud that brings Cudley down to Dimension Grade-A. The remaining rioters flee while the dead are left to the buzzards.

The next day, the owner of the observatory, Doctor Seewell, returns and gives Cleaver a proper checkup. His fever has broken and he seems to have gotten over his Monster Pox. Doctor Seewell and Mrs. Beaver quickly fall for one another and the doc asks the young mother to move away with him to the much more pleasant Dimension of Love. A happy ending, the Turtles load all the smaller, gentler critters into Cudley’s mouth, offering to release them in Dimension X where they’ll fit right in.

On the trip back, Don apologizes to Raph for giving him such a hard time before about helping Mrs. beaver. Don tells Raph to go ahead and hit him as hard as he can to make up for the beating he gave him with his bo staff. Raph isn’t willing to oblige at first, but his Monster Pox suddenly comes back in full-force and he begins sneezing up critters that attack Don. Cudley’s cheeks expand as he hurries to drop his payload off.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “Pig Heaven, Part 2”.

*Cudley the Cowlick will return in "Full Circle".

*The ending dialogue is extremely confused, as Raph claims to have tormented Don about helping Mrs. Beaver while Don is said to be the one that had the Monster Pox and saved the day. In reality, it was the other way around.


Review:

Another weirdo tale from Milton Knight, but like I said with the last three Knight comics I’ve reviewed, I just dig that guy’s style. “Cleaver’s Critters”, despite its surreal art style, isn’t a story that wouldn’t fit in with the overall weirdness of TMNT Adventures. It’s cartoony and goofy for sure, but this is a comic where two anthropomorphic trees hold wrestling tournaments in outer space. A baby that sneezes monsters isn’t really any worse than something like that.

Knight captures a frantic sense of motion in each panel as characters squash and stretch with each line of dialogue. Even if the art style isn’t to your liking, there’s no denying it’s a well-crafted comic with terrific layouts and visual consistency.

The story-itself is a fever dream of insanity, but not in the same “stream of consciousness” nonsense vein as similar cartoonists like Hedden and McWeeney or Mark Martin. There’s a narrative structure and plot that drives the story with its own internal logic. It’s very fun and never dull. I really hate comics that do randomness for the sake of randomness, thinking that it’s the same thing as actual humor; and that’s not what Milton Knight comics are like even if they may appear so superficially.

Overall, I wouldn’t say I liked it more than “Louie’s Pasture” and “Pig Heaven”, but “Cleaver’s Critters” was still a fun and weird story by a great cartoonist. These kinds of stories are nice diversions from the dower seriousness of the main TMNT Adventures ongoing, which by 1994 had kind gotten its head stuck up its own ass and wasn’t much “fun” anymore.

Grade: B- (as in, “But the Ku Klux Klan thing was laying the message on a little thick, I think”.)

Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher

Originally published in: TMNT Adventures Special #8

Publication date: Spring, 1994

Story and art: Mark Bode’

“Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher”

Summary:

While prowling the rooftops of New York, Ninjara smells the scent of the thief she’s been trailing. She spots a man in a weird dog costume carrying a sack of helpless canines and recognizes him, instantly.

She recalls the days before she was mutated, when she was just an ordinary fox pup. She and her brother (Naga) were captured by a cruel dog catcher, who locked them away in a kennel to sell them to unscrupulous individuals. An evil man, the dog catcher tormented her by calling her “Ninjarhead” (a name that ended up sticking).

Ninjara leaps down into the alley to confront the man, now going by the identity of Mondo Dog Catcher. He recognizes “Ninjarhead” and taunts her before escaping into the sewers. Ninjara follows, but is attacked by his trained Dobermans. Defeating the guard dogs with ease, she sneaks into her prey's secret underground base, where lots of helpless pups are being held captive. Undeterred, Mondo Dog Catcher unleashes a dozen rabid Chihuahuas that chase Ninjara up a cage, where she loses her swords.

Trapped, Ninjara begins to wonder where her boyfriend, Raphael, has gone. Mondo Dog Catcher schemes to sell Ninjara to the highest bidder when Raph bursts in through a skylight and beats the tar out of him. Raph then sucks up all the rabid Chihuahuas with a Kookaracha Mini-Vac. Together, he and Ninjara free all the grateful dogs who can’t wait to go home to their families.


Turtle Tips:

*Ninjara recalls having been an ordinary fox that was mutated. This conflicts completely and irreconcilably with her origin as given in TMNT Adventures #29, where she vehemently explains that she is no mutant, but from an ancient race of anthropomorphic foxes. Because of this discrepancy, “Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher” has to be considered a non-canon story.

*This story was completed in 1992, but for whatever reason there were delays keeping it from being published until 1994. That means its creation predates Naga's first appearance in TMNT Adventures #46 by a year.


Review:

Mark Bode’ is a cartoonist whose style I’ve always liked even if his sense of humor wasn’t always to my liking. I’ll admit that I haven’t read much of his stuff beyond his collaborations with Mirage or Heavy Metal, so I can’t accurately judge the guy’s whole career. Whatever the case, his style is definitely cute and expressive and he’s got a talent for animated layouts.

An unashamedly silly romp, this story is what it is. I don’t mind the comedy back-ups all that much and I kinda wish the TMNT Adventures ongoing had included more of them (they seemed to segregate most of their “comedy” for the Specials rather than balancing the drama with the humor between publications). The completely wrong origin for Ninjara is kind of strange, as Bode’ made the effort to remember that Ninjara has a younger brother but somehow missed the fact that they’re part of an ancient race of fox-people, not mutants. Still, the panel of baby fox Ninjara huddled in her cage, crying, is both cute and saddening at the same time.

Though what the hell’s a skylight doing in a sewer?

Grade: N/A (as in, “Now you may think Mondo Dog Catcher’s costume is stupid, but just take a look at most of Playmates’ output from the 80s and early 90s. He’d have fit right in”.)

TMNT Adventures Special #8

Publication date: Spring, 1994

Cover: Milton Knight


Contents:

*“Cleaver’s Critters”
*“Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher”


Turtle Tips:

*Chronologically, “Cleaver’s Critters” is continued from “Pig Heaven, Part 2”. “Ninjara vs. Mondo Dog Catcher” is a non-canon story due to the irreconcilably conflicting origin given for Ninjara.

TMNT Adventures #61

Publication date: October, 1994

 

Script: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Pencils: Jim Lawson

Inks: Ryan Brown

Letters: Gary Fields

Colors: Barry Grossman

Edits: Scott Fulop

Chisels: V. Gorelick

Cover: Chris Allan and Ryan Brown

“Once, Again, Always”

Summary:

Out in the desert, the Turtles and Kid Terra’s eco group perform an impromptu ceremony for the deceased Slash. Both Future-Don and Frances give some somber words, but Raph ruins the wake with some callous talk. Future-Raph is shamed by the self-centered actions of his younger counterpart and goes off to speak with him alone. Young-Raph is equally mystified by his own behavior, but rather than admit it, asks Future-Raph to tell him how he ends up losing Ninjara. Future-Raph refuses, telling him just to enjoy the time he gets with her. Speak of the devil, Ninjara shows up and takes a seat between the two. As the sun sets, a coyote howls at the full moon and Ninjara believes she is pondering the mystery of tomorrow.

At camp, a time-slip opens up and out come Future-Leo, Future-Mike and a young Japanese woman. Future-Don is relieved that his brothers were able to find them, as without their time-slip remote, they’d have been trapped in the past. Future-Leo introduces April to Nobuko… her great granddaughter. April is shocked.

Future-Don is likewise shocked when he learns that the great flood that destroyed much of the Earth in his time was not stopped by the defeat of Maligna. Apparently, in the history his future stems from, Maligna invaded Earth and killed the Mutanimals herself and the subsequent battle that led to her defeat accelerated Earth’s global warming, leading to the great flood. Future-Don now realizes that the flood had nothing to do with Maligna; Mankind did it to themselves all along. Kid Terra, though, is melancholy for another reason, as this is the first he’s heard of the Mutanimals dying. Future-Leo attempts to console Kid, telling him that it was just their destiny to give their lives in the battle against Maligna, one way or the other.

The next morning, Splinter and the old Indian janitor share a telepathic communication as they contemplate the day ahead. The old man tells Splinter that in a past life he was an owl and will be so again, which is why his name is Sleeping Owl. Splinter tells Sleeping Owl that he was once a man. They rejoin the group and bid farewell to the Future-Turtles and Nobuko, who return to their time and place. Sleeping Owl telepathically asks Splinter if his sons were once men, too. Splinter explains that they were baby turtles who became man-like and are growing more-so by the day. This reminds Sleeping Owl of a story and he asks the Turtles to listen. It is the story of the Earth’s creation.

In the beginning there was only a great empty sea and the Maker. The Maker created the Holy People, a group of deities who lived amongst the stars over the sea. He then planted three seeds in the great sea and they became Water Beetle (the swimmer), Beaver (the builder) and Turtle (the mother). One day, a Star Person fell asleep while watching over a Star Tree and both fell toward the great sea. Water Beetle quickly began bringing mud up from the bottom of the sea and placed it on Turtle’s back. Beaver then used his tail to pat down the mud and form it into a continent for the Star Person and their tree to land on. The Star Person then planted the tree which gave life to the continent they now live on, called Turtle Island.

Raph finds the story mellowing and thanks Sleeping Owl for sharing it. He then thanks Kid Terra for everything he and his group have done to help them. The gang then decides it’s time to get going as a coyote howls in the distance.

Epilogue:

Elsewhere, Water Beetle and Beaver (dressed as doctor and nurse) tell their patient that they have done all they can do to help her. They say that all she can do is rest and wait. The patient is revealed to be Turtle, hooked up to life support systems. In terrible pain, Turtle begs them to give her something to ease her suffering. Meanwhile, the Maker, who is all, feels a small part on his side suddenly begin to ache.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #60. For the Future-Turtles, the story continues in TMNT Adventures #62. For the present day Turtles, the story continues in TMNT Adventures #67.

*Future-Raph warned present-Raph about losing Ninjara in TMNT Adventures #44.

*The Future-Turtles’ time-slip remote was destroyed in TMNT Adventures #57.

*This issue contained two bonus pin-ups: Michaelangelo vs. Leonardo by Dan Seneres and Bill Fitts, and the Mighty Mutanimals in Heaven by Mike Kazaleh.

*Incidentally, the Mutanimals in Heaven pin-up seemed to have been commissioned to soothe young readers who saw a vision of the Mutanimals burning in Hell in TMNT Adventures #56.


Review:

After the chaotic fury of events running successively through “Megadeath”, “Terracide” and “Blind Sight”, we finally get our breather issue as the characters are afforded a moment to relax and reflect on all they’ve experienced and all they’ve lost. Murphy (Clarrain) uses the opportunity to give us various insights on the characters before transitioning into a second narrative more befitting of his “World Tour” arc from some while ago. We receive a brief history lesson on American Indian culture (I’m assuming Nahuatl, as that’s the tribe Frances says she is descended from, but Sleeping Owl never states the exact origins of his creation story) as well as some of the standard environmental finger-wagging.

The character segments were my favorite moments of the story, as Future-Raph is irritated by the self-centered behavior of his rebellious teenage incarnation (ruining a friend’s wake: Not Very Classy), Future-Don laments the pointlessness of everything he tried to do by coming back in time in the first place and Kid Terra learns for the first time that his Mutanimal friends are dead. The introduction of Nobuko didn’t carry much weight to it; more like it just gave April something to say and do where she would otherwise have been silent (Candy, again, is reduced to a face in the crowd). Splinter and Sleeping Owl sharing their philosophies and their own “reincarnation” experiences offered some interesting reflection (and we get more insight on Splinter’s fatherly sorrow that his kids are growing up).

Now, the second half of the story is the creation myth segment. It seems rather shoe-horned in, with only the concept of a Mother Turtle relating it to the comic in any coherent way, but it was a nice reprisal of the cultural history lessons that Murphy often gave when he did the “World Tour” arc. I always liked those issues, even if this one wasn’t quite as congruous with the storyline as the others.

But then we get to the heavy-handed environmental themes, lectured to us through an American Indian character who is an authority on the subject. Murphy seems to have something of a hard-on for American Indian culture, as many environmentalists in America tend to, and that obsession seeps through not only in his Archie and Mirage TMNT work, but also in books like “Puma Blues”. He seems to have “drunk the Kool-Aid”, so to speak, in regards to that old myth that American Indians lived in a utopian society before the arrival of whitey, with no concept of property or ambitious environmental modification of any kind.

How exactly that perception of the American Indian tribes as this hippy-dippy master race gels with documented cases of tribal warfare over territory (no concept of property, indeed) or the ruins of huge city structures carved into mountainsides or built in clear-cut stretches of land… Well, that sort of thing is just inconvenient to think about, I guess. Murphy must have a whole lot of White Guilt goin’ on, the way he’s constantly gushing about the superiority of American Indian culture.

Sorry about the tangent, but it’s just an irritation of mine. Political correctness and the inherited guilt of our ancestors has caused modern day American media to revere Native American culture and history to a rather dishonest degree. It doesn’t do anybody any favors by romanticizing their culture and history into an exaggerated stereotype that never truly existed (we’ve gotten over our misinformed fantasies of cowboys being these white-hatted heroes of the West, so maybe we should start putting the Indians under a proper historical microscope, now?).

Grade: C (as in, “Couldn’t decide whether this issue’s cover was supposed to represent a Ninja Turtle playing the ‘Mother Turtle’ of Indian lore being hunted by Kid Terra in the guise of a sinister Caucasian cowboy out to destroy Native American culture… or if Allan just made that thing up wholesale. I don’t care, either way”.)

TMNT Adventures #60

Publication date: September, 1994

Script: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Pencils: Chris Allan

Inks: Brian Thomas

Colors: Barry Grossman

Letters: Gary Fields

Edits: Scott Fulop

Brooms: V. Gorelick
Cover: Chris Allan and Ryan Brown

“Blind Sight, Part Two of Two”

Summary:

Outside a military base in the mountains, an old janitor keeps a vigil on some vaulted doors. Meanwhile, back at their offices, Kid Terra and his eco group are still on the lookout for any signs of Raph, Ninjara, Splinter and the rest. One of the eco members, Frances, finds a military transmission from the USCGS Dator (the ship that held Mike) and believes it may be a clue, though the code will take some time to crack. In the meantime, Leo goes over the story of how Raph, Ninjara, Splinter, Slash and Future-Don and Future-Raph left to battle Maligna on her Hive World to save Candy Fine from Null.

Flashing back, Slash holds off Maligna and her Malignoids as the Hive World plummets into the sun. He implores his friends to escape while they still can, and sadly, they leave him behind to his death. Future-Don has trouble piloting the alien escape craft and it begins to come apart reentering Earth’s atmosphere. They survive reentry, but are quickly flanked by jets from the US Air Force. Unable to escape, Future-Don lands the craft at a military base in the mountains. As the Turtles and their friends are being taken prisoner, the old janitor looks on (though the General tells him he didn’t see a thing). Once the Turtles are locked up behind the vaulted door and the janitor clocks out for the day, he immediately phones Kid Terra and the other members of the eco group with the good news. At the same time, Frances finishes decoding the transmission and learns that the base they’ve been taken to is Area 51 in Nevada, otherwise known as “Dreamland”.

At Area 51, the General and Dr. Dick are gently questioning Future-Don when young Raph escapes his guard and makes a scene. Future-Don uses the opportunity to slip away and scope out the facility. He finds a yellow-skinned alien imprisoned in a cell and, using a lock-pick hidden in his shell, opens the door. Before he can get the alien out, though, guards subdue Raph and escort Future-Don back to his cell (though unaware that the alien’s cell is now open). As the alien makes his way into the hall, he bumps into the old janitor, who kindly greets his old friend.

Back at their holding cell, the General scolds Raph (who now has a black eye) and Future-Don for their behavior and insists on cooperation. He suddenly finds himself mentally stupefied as the alien psychically takes hold of him. Along with the alien, the Turtles and their friends make an attempted jailbreak. Shortly into their breakout, they’re cornered by guards, but the old janitor intervenes. Having absconded with their weapons from the evidence room, he returns them to the Turtles, who succeed in beating down the guards and making it outside. Unfortunately, the General, Dr. Dick and a whole troop of soldiers await them and order them to surrender.

Right at the nick of time, though, Kid Terra, the Turtles, April, Oyuki and the eco group (calling themselves “Justice”) appear armed and in force, taking the high ground. Kid Terra orders the General to stand down and let his friends go. The General offers to compromise: Kid’s friends for the military’s pet alien. Future-Don refuses to let the General imprison an innocent sentient being, but the alien telepathically communicates with him, telling him that it is the only way they can escape. Future-Don bids farewell to the alien and escapes with Kid Terra, though he vows to someday return and save his friend.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Adventures #59. The story continues in TMNT Adventures #61.

*Raph, Splinter, Ninjara, Slash, Candy and the Future Turtles defeated Maligna, but haven’t been seen since, in TMNT Adventures #57.

*The Area 51 alien appears to be of the same race as the Sons of Silence, who last appeared in TMNT Adventures #50.

Review:

“Blind Sight” might not have been the most suitable title for this story, as Mike being blind has little to do with anything (though I suspect it was more a case of Murphy trying to be clever and illustrating to the reader how all us rubes are “blind” to the “sight” of the Government’s evils). This second half kind of falls apart on any sort of logical level, as the US Government just gives up valuable mutant specimens to a handful of hippies because, I dunno, it was convenient to the story, I guess?

There are just a lot of problems with how Murphy conceives of a Government base, from the hilariously lax security measures (they have an outsourced janitorial employee that is free to roam around top secret sectors and peek in on matters of national security like he owns the place) to the Government just giving up without a fight because “meh, we didn’t really want those mutants, anyway”. I guess the military base was just understaffed at the moment?

The entire thing is rather reminiscent of the second story arc of Mirage’s TMNT (Vol. 2), where the Turtles storm a military base to rescue their brother and befriend incarcerated aliens along the way. It plays out totally differently in that book, but the basic set-up is the same. Mirage, however, at least had the sense to make the infiltration and escape a challenge to the protagonists (one they wouldn’t have triumphed over had a Triceraton spacecraft not crashed into the base at the last minute to save them). Here, the military is just unenthused and halfhearted about everything.

I suppose there are some underlying explanations the reader is encouraged to string together on their own. Dr. Dick had a change of heart about the Turtles in the previous issue, and you’ll notice not only is he silent and rather stoic in this story, but that the treatment of Future-Don is much kinder than how Mike was handled. Additionally, the Turtles had just recently revealed themselves to the general public on television, so perhaps the Government thought it unwise to keep such celebrities prisoner while the media is going nuts about them. That second excuse is about 99% me pulling words out of my ass, though.

While a (mostly) well-drawn story on Allan’s part, the script relies way too much on the incompetence of the antagonists in order for the heroes to come out on top. It’s just very lazily written and at times redundant; how does the transmission Frances decoded even matter after the janitor informed Kid of where the Turtles were being held captive? And, I mean, c’mon. Couldn’t they have let Candy pick the lock to the alien’s cell since she had previously been established in multiple stories as having lock-picking skills? It would have at least given her something to contribute to this issue, as she otherwise does absolutely nothing throughout the whole thing.

Grade: D (as in, “Don’t have a clue how the action layout in this page was supposed to work. Sorry, Allan…”)

 

(Is that bucket... chasing him?)