TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #5

Publication date: Summer, 1991

Story: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Pencils: Jim Lawson

Inks: Dan Berger

Colors: Steve Lavigne

Letters: Mary Kelleher

Cover: Michael Dooney

“Wildcat Blues”

Summary:

In the rain forest, the Turtles have tracked down a band of ocelot poachers.  They try to sneak up on them, but the poachers hear them and open fire with their machine guns.  The Turtles retreat as the poachers escape with the caged wildcats.

The Turtles follow the trail left by the poachers, which leads them to a jaguar-shaped temple in the jungle.  Suddenly, they’re attacked by Jagwar, who mistakes them for more poachers.  Jagwar slices off Raph’s bandana in his anger, but Leonardo calms him by reminding him that they’re friends.

Jagwar apologizes for not recognizing them at first and then invites them back into his temple.  Inside, they find the poachers trapped in their own cages with the ocelots freely stalking around them.  Michelangelo thinks the reversal of situations is “cool for cats”.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #4.  The story continues in TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #6.

*The title “Wildcat Blues” is a riff on “Puma Blues”, a comic Steve Murphy (Dean Clarrain) wrote and published through Mirage.

*Unlike many of the mutant characters who made their first appearance in this magazine, Jagwar was first introduced in TMNT Adventures #14 (September, 1990).

Review:

The only story arc in TMNT Magazine continues, with the Turtles fighting more stereotypical crime in South America.  Last time it was deforestation, this time it’s poaching.  The South American tour arc of TMNT Adventures wasn’t one of its more graceful storylines and this little trilogy is basically that arc in miniature.  I guess in this way it’s a bit more digestible, though it’ll still make your stomach hurt.

Since Jagwar had already been introduced to the public in TMNT Adventures, the Turtles treat him as an old friend in this story (much like Man Ray in TMNT Magazine #1).  It’s the opposite of characters like Warrior Dragon and Nocturno, who were introduced here before getting bigger roles in the Archie book.  The continuities are still unconnected, but it’s neat to see the synergy between the two publications; Murphy was pretty much operating under the assumption that his Magazine readers were familiar with Adventures.

Now, having Jagwar fight the Turtles when he first meets them and then remember that they’re friends (because they already met in another book that’s unconnected to this one) is a little odd.  I mean, he mistakes them for poachers?  In broad daylight?  Then again, Jagwar’s first appearance in TMNT Adventures and this issue are only separated by half a year; maybe Murphy rewrote this script to account for Jagwar’s previous introduction and the rewrites didn’t really sync up with… logic.  I dunno.  It’s more thought than these four pages deserve.

The Good 'Ol Days, by "Powder"

 

In a total surprise that made my day, TMNT fan "Powder" took a gag I scripted in an old review and adapted it into a full-page comic:

 

Hey, thanks for the attention, man!

You can check out more of Powder's art (including a 7-page fan comic) over at his DeviantArt page.

Donkey Krang at Neato Shop

While the 24 hour RIPT Apparel sale for my shirt, Donkey Krang, has elapsed, the design will be available indefinitely over at Ninjaink's Neato Shop store:

Donkey Krang at Neato Shop, courtesy of Ninjaink.

You'll find more shirts that Ninjaink and I came up with over at his main Neato Shop page.  Give it a look and see if there's anything you like!  And thanks again to everyone who picked up a shirt while it was on RIPT!

 

All these and more!

TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #4

Publication date: Spring, 1991

Plot: Ryan Brown

Script: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Art: Jim Lawson

Colors: Steve Lavigne

Lettering: Mary Kelleher

Cover: Michael Dooney

“Bungle in the Jungle”

Summary:

Apparently, when the Turtles heard about the massive deforestation of the Amazon rain forest, they hurried to South America to try and put a stop to it.  They were ultimately captured by a lumberjack (apparently working for McDonald’s because that makes lots of sense) and tied to a tree.  Now, let’s see how the Turtles get out of THIS one…

The lumberjack looms closer to the Turtles with his chainsaw, angry that they tried to “come between man and the forest”.  He’s about to saw them into pieces when a small monkey drops a coconut on his head.  The lumberjack yells at the monkey when a gargantuan gorilla dressed in commando gear appears behind him.

The gorilla disarms the lumberjack, but the villain calls in more of his friends.  The Turtles wish they could even the odds, but they’re still bound.  The small monkey chews through their bonds, though, and they join the fray.  Ultimately, the lumberjacks are defeated.

When the fighting is through, the gorilla introduces himself as Guerilla Gorilla and shakes Leonardo’s hand.  Donatello asks what business an African gorilla has in South America and Guerilla replies: “Monkey business”.  Because we all needed to hear that, today.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #3.  The story continues in TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #5.

*Guerilla Gorilla is the same character as the Playmates toyline character Sergeant Bananas (whose toy even sports a nametag reading "Guerilla" on it).  Much like Warrior Dragon/Hothead and Man Ray/Ray Fillet, he received a name-change between comic and toy either due to marketing or trademark issues.

*So far as I know, this is Guerilla Gorilla/Sgt. Bananas’ only appearance in fiction.

Review:

Sergeant Bananas.  Wow.  I love these comics.  They’re such a weird little treasure trove of TMNT odds and ends, introducing prototypes of characters who would go on to appear in Archie’s TMNT Adventures comic or just the Playmates toyline.  These aren’t, uh, GOOD comics.  No, they aren’t that.  But they’re definitely fascinating for the character selection.

The plot, of course, hinges on more of Steve Muphy’s (Clarrain’s) eco preaching and in 4 pages it all feels a bit muddled and half-baked.  The Turtles rush to South America to save the rain forests, as they consider the lumber industry to be villains and criminals.  Okay, sure.  But why does the lumberjack work for McDonald’s?  I’m guessing Murphy wanted something with a symbol that represents “corporate America” and the double arches had the most brand recognition, but unless he’s chopping down those trees to make paper cups and straw wrappers, the commentary doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  Murphy could’ve just put a generic “Evil Co.” logo on his shirt.

Of note, though, is that this issue actually initiates a 3-issue story arc; the ONLY story arc in TMNT Magazine.  Weird.  It's more "save the rain forest" stuff, so don't get too excited.

Anyway, not a good story, but darnit if I’m not happy to see a forgotten Playmates toy character get at least one scrap of fiction.  I’m not exactly holding my breath for Monty Moose or Halfcourt to show up later on (they don’t), but this was still a pleasant surprise.

TMNT Annual 2014

Story: Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz

Script and art: Kevin Eastman

Colors: Ronda Pattison

Letters: Shawn Lee

Editor: Bobby Curnow

Dedicated to: Robert E. Howard, Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith

Summary:

The Turtles have just returned to New York from Northampton and Donatello has spent the time since upgrading the church lair’s security.  In addition to his upgrades, he and Michelangelo have put together an elaborate Rube Goldberg-style trap, intending to dunk Raphael in a pool of water once he returns from his jog.  With Leonardo out searching for Foot Clan activity at the George Washington Bridge and April and Casey off on a date, they’re sure only Raph will succumb to this pratfall (though Splinter disapproves of the hijinks).  Much to their misfortune, Raph and Leo arrive home at the same time and either one of them might spring the trap.

Suddenly, in a flash of light, a blond girl in an ugly helmet wielding a scepter appears in the lair.  She introduces herself as Renet, apprentice to a Dimensional Councilman, and apparently she met the Turtles but earlier in HER timeline and not THEIRS.  She explains that there’s a serious problem at the Center of All Realms (the “nexus”) and her boss has sent her to find great fighters to solve the problem.  Before the Turtles can even figure out what she’s talking about, she zaps them away with her time scepter (interrupting Splinter's bowel movement in the process).

They arrive at the Center of All Realms (a city on a cone-shaped asteroid floating in space) and the Turtles are immediately taken prisoner; the guards believing Renet has fetched more fodder for the Dimensional Council.  Renet reassures them that she has a plan and that they need to hook up with her boyfriend on the inside.  They’re taken to their cell where they meet Baltizar, a warrior who has been trapped in the Games for a while (and also Renet’s boyfriend).  He explains that the Council steals warriors from across time and space to participate in gladiatorial combat and the losers are instantly teleported (a second prior to a killing blow) to a slave mine.  The winners supposedly get to live on a paradise, which appeases the audience but the truth is that the winners are also sent to the mines  He doesn’t have much faith in the Turtles, but with the next round starting, they all gear up and head into the arena.

The Turtles and Baltizar take on a horde of armored aliens and succeed.  Baltizar and Raph, in particular, form a friendship as they team up.  They’re returned to their cell to await tomorrow’s Games.  While lounging, Baltizar explains that he’s from a violent world where his life is in peril from sunrise to sunset, hence his proficiency in battle.

Elsewhere, Renent visits her boss, ex-Councilman Simultaneous, in his jail cell.  Apparently, he disapproved of the Games and Councilman Nieli had him incarcerated for it.  Simultaneous is low on spirit and doesn’t believe Renet’s chosen warriors will be able to inspire the people to revolt against the Council.  Renet believes in them, though.

In the dungeon, Baltizar talks with Rangor, another warrior, and the two agree that they need to unite the gladiators for an uprising, though it may be difficult as they’re all so culturally different.  The next day, moments before the Games begin, a guard cattleprods Baltizar, incapacitating him.  Apparently, Councilman Nieli wants to make sure Baltizar doesn’t win.  The Turtles help him out into the arena and vow to keep him safe until he regains his strength.  The battle begins and the Turtles face down another army of aliens, this time led by the hulking Tricerton Zog.  As the Turtles take down the aliens and Baltizar gets his shit together, Rangor gives an inspiring speech to the other gladiators.

In their booth, the Dimensional Council watches and Nieli is furious.  He doesn’t like to see anybody win in his Games and orders more gladiators to rush the Turtles and Baltizar.  The other Councilmen quietly comply.  The guards and the audience begin to see how unfairly Nieli is stacking the odds against the heroic gladiators and public opinion turns against the Council.  Renet stirs the embers in the audience then joins the fray in the arena until only the Turtles and Zog are left to fight.  When Rangor and Simultaneous arrive with the gladiators in a revolt against the Council, Zog lays down his arms and joins them.

They rush the booth and Nieli demands the guards protect him, but they turn on him.  The Council also reveals that they’re sick of Nieli’s Games and expel him from their circle, inviting Simultaneous back into the fold in exchange.  The Turtles then give a rousing speech about the Olympics on Earth, and how they’re games of sport where victory is celebrated and defeat is not the end, but a chance to work harder and compete another day.  Councilman Gauge is inspired by the concept of the Olympics and proclaims that the Games shall be rebranded in their image as the Battle Nexus.

Nieli is taken away by the guards.  Simultaneous congratulates Renet on her hard work (though refuses to give her a raise) and thanks the Turtles and Baltizar for pulling it all together.  Renet then sends the Turtles home (giving Mikey her ugly helmet) and they arrive in the lair… right at the trigger for Don’s contraption.  Leo is plummeted into the water and Splinter, annoyed by all the noise they were making while he was taking a shit (no, really), storms out of the bathroom and shoves the other Turtles into the drink.

In the Cretaceous period, Renet and Baltizar enjoy a picnic together.  Baltizar wonders if they’ll ever see the Turtles again and Renet suspects they will.  They then teleport to 14^th century China for some authentic Chinese food.

Turtle Tips:

*According to editor Bobby Curnow, the events of this Annual occur between TMNT (IDW) #32 and TMNT (IDW) #33.

*The Turtles will meet Renet again in TMNT: Turtles in Time #1.

*Councilman Nieli is named after Ciro Nieli, showrunner for the 2012 Nickelodeon TMNT cartoon.

*Zog last appeared in TMNT: Utrom Empire #3.

*This Annual met with major delays and was published several months after the Turtles in Time miniseries had been out, creating a good deal of confusion for readers.  Since it was released after Turtles in Time was halfway finished, an editor’s note was included on the inside front cover, helping readers with the chronological placement.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by Eastman and Ian Herring, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive by Eastman, Cover RE Jetpack Exclusive by Eastman (different from the other one).

*On December 10, 2015, the Annual was rereleased in a Deluxe Edition containing full color on all pages as well as layouts and bonus sketches.

Review:

This new Annual from Kevin Eastman is basically a mash-up of every John Carter of Mars cliché in the book and there’s nothing new or exciting to see here.  It runs through the motions so formulaically and mechanically that there aren’t any surprises or fresh ideas or anything to capture your interest.  It’s just plain old boring. 

The character of Baltizar is a loose pastiche of Conan the Barbarian, specifically, the Marvel Comics incarnation as brought to life by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith (great comics, by the way).  While he looks identical to the Windsor-Smith version of Conan (well, with a soul patch), he talks with the dull intonations and slang of a California teenager, perhaps to mirror the Valley Girl aspects of Renet.  The parody falls apart in that regard, as he’s just a guy who looks exactly like Conan but is programmed with an entirely different personality, making the homage seem pasted on after the fact.

While it doesn’t suffer from the “running battle” style of nearly everything Eastman has ever written in his entire career, it’s still a Kevin Eastman “characters flying by the seat of the their pants and don’t know what’s going on and don’t have time to catch up” story.  So if you’ve read enough Eastman comics in your lifetime, you ought to be familiar.  

What’s irritating is that the story is NOT complicated.  Like I said, it hammers home every single John Carter cliché that has been rehashed a thousand times over in the world of science fiction (the Turtles have been doing this shtick since the Mirage days, too).  So what makes things so annoying is that the characters within this story can’t seem to grasp the simplistic plot and have to have it described to them AT LEAST three fucking times.  Renet tells them about it when she meets them.  Baltizar tells them about it when they get to the arena.  And then Baltizar tells them about it AGAIN.  And each time, the Turtles go uncharacteristically moronic and fail to figure out the fucking basic concept of “fight in an arena or go to a slave mine”.

Having the characters act like a plot is complicated isn’t the same thing as having a complicated plot.  All it does is make the Turtles come across as uncharacteristically stupid and as a reader you can’t believe you’re going over the SAME SHIT for the third time in six pages.  It’s ridiculous.

And the way everybody talks… Holy fucking shit, SHUT UP.  All the characters speak in these exhaustive monologues, but they don’t provide enough information to fill their girth, they just… talk.  And talk.  And TALK.  Meandering nonsense and drivel that goes nowhere and adds nothing; they reiterate the same points over and over again and bloat their speech with useless asides and random babble and my god, this thing is no fun to read.

Even worse is how the gimmick of going from color in the present day segments to black and white in the arena segments just destructs the comprehensibility of the whole narrative.  You see, when the Turtles are in black and white, there are two things that allow them to stand apart from one another: Their personalities and their weapons.  When they arrive at the arena, they all take weapons from the racks, so you think you’ve got it figured out: The Turtle with the weapon similar to their usual one must be the same Turtle.  But no, turns out the one with swords is Raphael.  And I can’t decide which one has the trident… Is it Donatello?  Does the letterer even know?  Because none of the Turtles speak with distinct voices; they’re all in silly mode, talking with slang and making goofy comments about cake and helmets.  If it IS Donatello, he's acting a lot like Michelangelo.  I mean, Leo talks like Raph talks like Don talks like Mike and you can’t INVEST in the fucking comic if you can’t tell who should be speaking at any given time.

And just… just… WHY is the Council so afraid of Nieli?  He doesn’t seem to have any greater powers than the other Councilmen, considering he was just dragged away by guards without any hassle the moment they stood up to him.  And what does Nieli have to gain from the Games, anyway?  Does he have a deal with the slave traders on the side?  What are his reasons to be so evil beyond just being evil for the fuck of it?  He’s the main villain of this whole story and no effort was put into giving him a motive.

And what was with that diversion with April and Casey at the movies?  They don’t factor into the story whatsoever, it’s just a waste of time.  Heck, if that page had been omitted, Eastman would have freed up a page to cover Nieli inner monologuing his sinister scheme and BAM, at least one problem would have been solved.

This thing is just… awful.  It’s boring and it’s hard to read and the characters introduced are positively obnoxious.  If Eastman was trying to parody things like Conan and John Carter, he doesn’t put enough effort into the “parody”; it’s just a lot of silly, stupid nonsense that feels utterly incongruous to the rest of the IDW TMNT universe, especially in character portrayals (Splinter’s dialogue is fucking AWFUL and that’s before we even get to the running gag about him taking a shit).

Eastman’s art is Eastman’s art.  It’s classic and you may want to pick up the Annual for that.  I was forgiving toward the previous Annual because, at the time, it was the first full-length TMNT story Eastman had drawn in over ten years and the nostalgic novelty was enough to carry interest.  With this, though, that novelty has elapsed and you actually have to judge this thing on its story and script, both of which are horrendous.  I guess if anything comes of all this, it might be that with the Battle Nexus now established, it’s possible we could get some good stories out of that later on.  Or it could be like the 2012 Annual, where the dozen or so new characters introduced in that tale go on to do positively jack shit in the ongoing series.  Only time will tell.

This thing was definitely not worth the two or three month delay, though.

Grade: F (as in, “For those of you with a mild interest in Roy Thomas’s and Windsor-Smith’s Conan the Barbarian comic, please don’t judge its quality by these shitty parodies.  It’s actually an excellent book; one of the best comics to come out of the ‘70s”.)

My Donkey Krang shirt, available at RIPT for 24 hours!

This is the t-shirt I co-designed with my buddy, artist Timothy Lim.

"Donkey Krang" will be available for only $10 at RIPTApparel until midnight tonight!

It'll be available until noon tomorrow after that, but the price will go up a bit.  So if you like it, now's the time to pick it up.

Thanks to everyone who voted for the shirt and got it made!

TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #3

Publication date: Winter, 1991

Plot: Ryan Brown

Script: Dean Clarrain

Pencils: Jim Lawson

Inks: Dan Berger

Colors: Mark Martin

Letters: Mary Kelleher

Cover: Michael Dooney

“Beat or be Eaten”

Summary:

It's late night in South Bronx and the Turtles are about to have a pizza party in the middle of the street.  They’re anxiously awaiting Master Splinter, who was charged with bringing the drinks, but he’s late.  They spot some broken soda bottles in the street and hear evil laughter coming from the bell tower of a nearby church.  Leo orders Don and Mike to stay behind while he and Raph see what’s up.

Entering the bell tower, they find Splinter tied to the church bell as a mutant owl named Nocturno prepares to gobble him up.  They demand that he unhand their sensei and Nocturno attacks.  As Leo frees Splinter, Raph tackles Nocturno off the balcony and sends him plummeting down to the street.

Nocturno lands face-first in Michelangelo’s pizza and remarks that this dish is much tastier than rodents.  Splinter reunites with his students and proclaims that they’ve turned an enemy into a friend.  As Michelangelo watches Nocturno devour his pizza, he isn’t so sure he wants to be friends.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #2.  The story continues in TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #4.

*This marks the first appearance of Nocturno, who would later appear in TMNT Adventures #27 as a member of the Uncanny Trio. 

Review:

Hey, one of the Uncanny Trio actually got a spotlight story!  Didn't see that coming.

We don’t really learn much about Nocturno (this isn’t exactly the most revealing villain focus), though I guess the knowledge that he wants to eat Splinter is a little unsettling.  The Uncanny Trio were almost never used in TMNT Adventures (one of their two appearances actually went unpublished), so I guess we have to take what we can get.  The team always worked in unison and sort of had a Huey, Dewie and Louie hive mind thing going on; the characters weren’t distinct beyond their species.

Like the Warrior Dragon story from last issue, "Beat or be Eaten" feels like a test run or teaser for the full issue featuring Nocturno published in TMNT Adventures.  At the very least, the setup for the conclusion is similar (the Turtles hunting down a kidnapped friend to a church's steeple/bell tower, battling Nocturno and sending him plummeting over a balcony).

Perhaps alarming is that the Turtles and Master Splinter (!) have planned a midnight pizza party in the streets of South Bronx for no reason whatsoever.  Are they concerned in the slightest about being seen by humans?  I guess the Turtles are the only New Yorkers brave enough to set foot outside in the Bronx after sundown.

Anyhow, like Warrior Dragon who came before him, Nocturno had his genesis in TMNT Magazine, making this another somewhat “neat” issue if you’re into that sort of minutia.  So even the superficially forgettable gag strips in this mag have their place in Ninja Turtle history, it seems.

Fun at the 2014 River City Comic Con in Little Rock, AR!

Wrapped up the River City Comic Con here in Little Rock, yesterday.  It was a lot of fun working the Ninjaink booth with my buddy Timothy Lim.  He worked his fingers to the bone doing sketches for folks and our shirts sold really well (even sold out of a few unexpectedly popular designs!).

More importantly, I got to meet the Shredder:

It went well.

Mikey & the Machine

Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #14

Publication date: August 13, 2014

Story: Landry Q. Walker

Art: Marcelo Ferreira

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“Mikey & the Machine”

Summary:

In the kitchen, Leo and Don are giving Mikey a hard time about his lack of focus.  Mikey takes it personally and storms out of the lair.  Raph, of all Turtles, tells his brothers that they were being too hard on him.

On the rooftops, Mikey is pouting when Baxter Stockman attacks him in his remote-controlled Turtle Catcher 3000.  The big tentacled robot grabs Mikey up and stuffs him inside its barrel-shaped body.

Down in an alley, the other Turtles are looking for Mikey so they can apologize.  Suddenly, they get a call on their T-Phone from Mikey, telling them that he’s trapped in a robot.  Right on cue, the Turtle Catcher 3000 bursts through a brick wall and begins pounding on them.  Leo and Raph start to fight back, but their attacks rattle Mikey inside.  They’re helpless to destroy the machine from the outside without hurting their brother.

Mikey then calls Donnie and tells him that he can deactivate the robot from inside if Donnie just guides him through it.  Donnie doesn’t think Mikey has the focus to follow his instructions, but concedes that there’s no other choice.  Donnie begins trying to tell Mikey which wires to cut, but soon overthinks the situation and can’t come to a consensus.  He then gets smacked by the robot and loses his T-Phone.

On his own, Mikey has to decide which wire is the most important.  He eventually comes to the conclusion that ALL the wires are important and pulls them all out.  The robot deactivates and releases Mikey.  The Turtles compliment their brother on his focus and Mikey begins to explain how he solved the problem… until he’s distracted by a penny on the sidewalk.  Ha ha ha.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from “The Swarm”.  The story continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #15.

*Given Baxter’s face on the robot’s TV monitor head, this story has to take place before the season two episode, “The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman”.

Review:

This was the stronger story in New Animated Adventures #14, I think.  It has a lesson to be learned, yeah, but it works the moral or whatever into the plot a bit better than other attempts at the same formula.  Sure, it’s convenient that every major conflict the Turtles encounter just happen to thematically connect to something they were personally struggling with just minutes beforehand, but hey, the cartoon is guilty of that shtick, too.

The comics, both from the US and UK, seem to treat Baxter as a bit more of a menace than the cartoon ever has.  I don’t mean “threat”, because his schemes are always shallow and easily overcome, but “menace” in that he certainly bothers the Turtles with his giant robots and Stockman-pod armor much more in the comics than in the show.  It’s good to see more of him, don’t get me wrong, but it’d be nice if he would do something other than just pop up in a robot at random.

“Mikey & the Machine” is the 8-page B-story of the issue, so there isn’t much more content to discuss in something so thin.  Between the giant parasitic wasp and the Turtle Catcher 3000, this was sort of an all-Baxter issue (well, he DID create the wasps, after all, even if it was going solo).  For a guy whose inventions fuel the conflict of both stories, he hardly participates in them directly.

Grade: C (as in, “Can’t wait until New Animated Adventures catches up with season 2 of the cartoon and maybe we can start seeing all those one-off toy-based villains that the season was inundated with show up for more stories”.)

The Swarm

Originally published in: TMNT New Animated Adventures #14

Publication date: August 13, 2014

Story: Landry Q. Walker

Art: Chad Thomas

Colors: Heather Breckel

Letters: Shawn Lee

Edits: Bobby Curnow

“The Swarm”

Summary:

In his lab, Donatello is working on a pheromone spray that'll act like a love potion and make April fall for him.  The other Turtles chide him for making “perfume”, but Don calls April over (under false pretenses) to test it, anyway.  April shows up and is seemingly unaffected by the odor.  However, Donnie begins to attract thousands of insects, apparently hungry for the strong lilac scent he used. 

The bugs chase Donnie out of the sewer.  Mikey follows him to keep him safe, Leo and Raph hose down their training dummy with the pheromone spray and strap it to the roof of the Shellraiser to create a decoy, and April stays behind in the lair to research a way to neutralize the pheromones.

Out on the streets, the decoy works and draws the bugs away from Donnie.  However, it also attracts one of Baxter Stockman’s giant parasitic wasps the Turtles thought they’d exterminated a long time ago.  The parasitic wasp bumps into Raph, causing him to drop the perfume bottle, smashing it over himself and his brothers.

As the parasitic wasp and thousands of insects chase the Turtles across the rooftops, April calls in on her T-phone to tell them she’s found a cure.  Apparently, hot sauce is a solid insect repellant.  The Turtles find their way to the Super Spicy Hot Sauce factory, but before they can bathe in the habanero juice, they need to catch the parasitic wasp so it can’t reproduce and turn everyone in the city into zombies.  Mikey lassos it with his chain and the Turtles drag it with them through the skylight and into an open vat of hot sauce.  The sauce drowns the parasitic wasp and cures their odor.

Back in the lair, the Turtles are suffering the aftereffects of a million bug bites.  April nurses them back to health and complements Donnie on his new scent, as she loves the smell of hot sauce.  Donnie immediately begins brainstorming a brand NEW pheromone spray that incorporates hot sauce, much to the rage of his brothers.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #13.  The story continues in “Mikey & the Machine”.

*Baxter Stockman's giant parasitic wasps first appeared in the season one episode, “Parasitica”.

Review:

This was probably one of the cornier scripts to come out of New Animated Adventures.  It follows a rather stagnant screwball formula and you could predict the comedy and conflict beats pages before they happened.  Of course the perfume would attract the wrong thing and of course the Turtles would accidentally spill it on themselves and of course they’d find a convenient cure in the final stretch of panels.

But like a lot of clichés, it really depends on how well you execute them.  I mean, it’s not like New Animated Adventures is the only medium still running the “perfume mishap” scenario into the ground.  Mickey Mouse cartoons are still drawing from that well, even the ones made this same year.  It’s a stock plot that’ll never go away, right alongside the shrinking episode and the one where the guy’s mom comes to visit but he told her he was a bigshot in letters to impress her so now all his friends have to pretend like he’s the boss or something and at the end his mom finds out everything and tells him she’s proud of him no matter what.  Whew!

As for the execution… eh.  It hits all those beats so routinely and formulaically that the end result is a very bland story that’s not particularly funny or original.  Walker has written a lot of good scripts in both the US and UK Nick TMNT comics, but this just happens to be one of his off days.  I did like the reappearance of one of Baxter’s parasitic wasps, though.  A nice callback to a good, but mostly forgotten season one episode.

Chad Thomas is really rising to the top of the New Animated Adventures talent pool.  His characters have a lot of energy to them and he uses those “anime” effects from the animated series, but only to a strategic extent.  It’s nice when they’re used, but not to the point of suffocating all the art.

Grade: D+ (as in, “Donatello basically tried to create the kid’s cartoon equivalent of a roofie for April.  Stay classy, Donnie”.)

TMNT New Animated Adventures #14

Publication date: August 13, 2014

Contents:

*“The Swarm”

*“Mikey & the Machine”

Turtle Tips:

*This issue is continued from TMNT New Animated Adventures #13.  The series continues in TMNT New Animated Adventures #15.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Regular Cover by Brizuela, Cover RI by Paulina Ganucheau, and Subscription Cover by Jennifer Meyer.

TMNT (IDW) #37

Publication date: August 13, 2014

Story: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow and Tom Waltz

Script: Tom Waltz

Art: Cory Smith

Colors: Ronda Pattison

Letters: Shawn Lee

Editor: Bobby Curnow

"New Mutant Order, Part 1"

Summary:

In Northampton, Alopex is stalking a rabbit when she’s approached by the spectral form of Kitsune.  Kitstune reminds her of their previous chat, where she told her a time would come when she needed to act.  Alopex thinks she already acted when she left the Foot, but Kitsune reminds her that her “piece” is still in “play”.  More importantly, when the “game” really kicks off, Kitsune will need Alopex by her side.  Kitsune wipes Alopex’s memory of their encounter and vanishes, her spirit returning to her body in New York.

On a boat belonging to General Krang, the Shredder arrives, flanked by two Foot Soldiers.  Krang, meanwhile, is flanked by Tragg and Granitor.  Krang isn’t too thrilled to this meeting, as the last time he and Shredder had an encounter, the Shredder betrayed him and stole his ooze (back when Krang masqueraded as the Iron Demon).  Shredder suggests they put old encounters aside and proposes an alliance.  Shredder is aware of Krang’s recent developments with the ooze and has made some developments of his own in the form of mutagen.  Krang recalls all too well how Shredder GOT his ooze; it was when Karai invaded Burnow Island and stole it.  Krang tells Shredder that his so-called developments mean nothing, as he currently has people working on something very big: New Utrominon.

The Shredder warns him that humanity will never surrender to alien rule.  He proposes that the Foot will act as a go-between for Krang’s forces and humanity, with himself ruling over the Earthlings and protecting the revived Utroms.  Krang laughs at Shredder’s gall, saying he has no intention of sparing a single human in his conquest of Earth.  He then proceeds to punch through Shredder’s chest, killing him.

As it turns out, “Shredder” was a decoy.  The real Oroku Saki is disguised as one of the Foot Soldiers.  He sets off a bomb in the decoy’s helmet, allowing him the opportunity to slip away (while the other Foot Soldier absorbs Tragg and Granitor’s bullets).  Shredder makes it to the bow, but Krang launches a missile from his rocket-gauntlet-thing and blasts the Foot helicopter out of the sky.  Krang is ready to annihilate him when Shredder calls in his trump cards: Koya and the new hammerhead shark mutant, Bludgeon.

Bludgeon and Koya take on Tragg and Granitor, freeing up Shredder and Krang to duel.  Shredder damages Krang’s body with his sword, inciting Krang to launch a volley of missiles all over the place.  The explosions begin to sink the ship.  The henchmen on both sides decide to take initiative: Koya swoops in and carries Shredder away while Granitor calls Burnow Island for an immediate teleportation.  Krang is livid about losing the chance to kill Shredder, but Shredder is more passive.  He commends Bludgeon and Koya on their quick thinking.  However, he informs them that the war has just escalated.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT (IDW) #36.  The story continues in TMNT (IDW) #38.

*The events of the Turtles in Time miniseries occur concurrently with this issue.

*The Shredder double-crossed the Iron Demon (Krang) in The Secret History of the Foot Clan #4.

*Alopex and Kitsune had their first chat in TMNT (IDW) #27.

*Stockgen employee Chet/Fugitoid was revealed as a double agent working for the Foot in TMNT Micro-Series #8: Fugitoid.  Karai invaded Burnow Island and stole the ooze in TMNT (IDW) #19.  The Fugitoid agreed to work with Krang and Baxter Stockman on the Technodrome, but secretly shared his information with the Turtles and the Foot Clan, in Utrom Empire #3.

*The Shredder saw a vision of the Foot warring with Krang in TMNT Villains Micro-Series #8: Shredder.

*Shredder previously disguised himself as a Foot Soldier in TMNT Microseries #4: Leonardo.

*In the letters page of TMNT (IDW) #40, editor Bobby Curnow described the origins of Bludgeon as a character: "Tom originally wrote Bludgeon as Armaggon, but besides being a shark, there's virtually nothing in common between the two characters.  So instead of having an 'in name only' character, we decided just to make him his own entity."

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by Smith, Cover B by Eastman and Pattison, and Cover RI by Mike Henderson.

Review:

Jawsome!

God, how many reviews for TMNT this month are going to include Street Sharks references?  Waltz brought this on himself.

Anyway, this was a great transitioning story that works as both an epilogue to the previous arc and a prologue to the next.  The brief interlude with Alopex ties into what we learned last issue with the Rat King, his family and the “game” they’re playing.  The meat of the issue, though, covers the Shredder and Krang, throwing down the gauntlet and setting up what I can only assume will be a major arc.  It also functions as a more low-key one-shot, being a fairly self-contained narrative.  In all ways, it’s a well-crafted story that functions on numerous levels (also making it an ideal jumping-on point, even if it was never advertised as such).

If the Turtle Tips section didn’t clue you in, much of the issue consists of two characters talking and recapping past events, tying several key plot points from the past three years together.  Waltz tries to work these references organically into the dialogue, with only a few Stan Lee-isms to speak of (“Ha Ha, I have every intention of killing you, but I will permit you to indulge in your long-winded exposition only because it amuses me!”).  There’s a good balance between retreading old information and setting up new situations (and introducing new characters) so it isn’t like this is a “recap issue” or whatever.

I’m rather glad we aren’t getting the Shredder/Krang alliance, too.  Their rift was already presaged in the Shredder micro, but immediately turning them against one another also deviates from what a lot of readers might have been anticipating.  Doesn’t look like there’s gonna be any ‘80s cartoon Shredder/Krang partnership in this book.  At least not anytime soon.

When you take a step back and look at the big picture, you start to see the whole series in perspective.  And in a way, I think I’m coming to better appreciate IDW’s Shredder (who I always thought was shortsighted or just kinda dumb).  Look at everything he’s done up to this point and you can see that he’s been working from an agenda, taking on tasks one step at a time.  First, he menaced Stockgen/Burnow Island to steal ooze.  Then, he scoped out Leonardo as a potential candidate for second in command.  Then, he found and revived Kitsune.  All of this was to give him an edge for the next step in his ascent to greatness: Consolidating power in New York.  He did that in “City Fall” by seizing command of the Purple Dragons and the Savate.  Now that he has all of his ducks in a row, he’s ready to take things to the next level and confront General Krang in a battle for the Earth (“Today New York City, tomorrow the world” I guess, though that’s kind of a leap in square acreage).

What you can see is that everything he’s been doing has been highly methodical.  As a reader, it’s been a bit infuriating as EVERY issue has felt like build-up to something else.  But when you really get a look at it, you can see that it’s been nothing but a checklist since Day One and Shredder just crossed off another errand.  So yes, this issue does suffer from the “build up build up build up so much build up” problem that’s made this book anxious reading since it started, but now that the big picture is just a little bit clearer, I think we can appreciate the storytelling method a little more (as infuriating as it can be).

The new character introduced in this issue is the Street Shark I mentioned at the start of my review: Bludgeon.  Doesn’t Hasbro own that trademark?  Sorry Playmates, but it’s not like they were flooding the market with IDW-based TMNT toys, anyway.  At any rate, he has a great design (the fishing nets around his shorts, the shark tooth necklace), though we’ve still got a lot to learn about his personality and origin.  He’s the first mutant henchman to spring out of the ether; even Koya got a brief introduction as Shredder’s pet falcon.  Unless I missed a hammerhead shark somewhere in this book, and if I did I’m going to go get my eyes checked.

Also, this Cory Smith guy is really good.  Santolouco is coming back next issue, though the closing editor’s comments promise that we’ll be seeing more of Smith soon.  I certainly hope so.  His style blends well with Santolouco's, especially after Pattison has put her excellent colors on things, but there are lots of little details that push things over the edge.  I love how the fake Shredder's claws scrape against the table when Krang is impaling him on that splash page.

Grade: B (as in, “Because OF COURSE I checked, look at the fake Shredder from the start of the issue.  He doesn’t have the scar on his left eye!  Now that’s good thinking on Smith’s part”.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Review

Like $97million dollars worth of other people, I spent this weekend watching the new TMNT film.  And like $97million dollars worth of other people, I made a huge mistake.

Here's my full review of the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film at Adventures in Poor Taste.

When my review hit 3 Word pages, I decided it was time to call it quits, but I still don't feel I covered even close to all the problems with this film.  And holy cow, there are a lot of them.  It's the most bewilderingly bad piece of scriptwriting since Revenge of the Fallen.

And like the Transformers movies, no amount of bad reviewing is going to keep this thing from being a box office success (the sequel has already been greenlit).  So I'm just gonna preach to the choir.

TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #2

Publication date: Fall, 1990

Originally published by: Welsh Publishing

Plot: Ryan Brown

Script: Dean Clarrain (Steve Murphy)

Pencils: Jim Lawson

Inks: Dan Berger

Colors: Steve Lavigne

Letters: Mary Kelleher

Cover: Michael Dooney

“The Warrior Dragon”

Summary:

As the Turtles search through Chinatown for a gift for Splinter, they’re suddenly caught in a downpour.  They duck inside a curio shop and the owner greets them warmly.  Michelangelo is immediately drawn to a red dragon-shaped bottle, but the curio shop owner says that it isn’t for sale.  Instead, he offers to show them a flat-bottomed wok good for cooking pizzas and the Turtles try to convince him to give them a “free demo”.

Suddenly, a gang of hoodlums kick the door in.  They’re upset at the curio shop owner for missing his “protection” payment and say they’re going to destroy his shop to teach him a lesson.  The Turtles intervene, but the fight begins to get out of hand, wrecking the shop anyway.

With no alternative, the curio shop owner spikes the red bottle on the ground, shattering it.  From the smoke, a large creature calling itself the Warrior Dragon emerges.  It challenges the punks to a battle and the youths immediately flee in terror.  The Warrior Dragon then vanishes as quickly as it came.

As the curio shop owner collects the pieces, he tells the Turtles that the Dragon has “expressed itself” and needn’t linger any longer.  He likens his speedy departure to the rain clouds which, now that they’re emptied themselves, have parted to let the sunshine through.  The Turtles are glad things worked out, but still insist on the free demo of that pizza wok.

Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #1.  The story continues in TMNT Magazine (Welsh) #3.

*The Warrior Dragon’s origin as depicted in the Archie series, in TMNT Adventures #20, was considerably different.  In this incarnation, the character of Chu Hsi is omitted entirely.

*And as a reminder, the character of Warrior Dragon is the same as the Playmates toyline character Hothead, albeit with yellow scales rather than red.

*The curio shop owner is not named in the comic, but in the Archie series he was identified as Fu Sheng.

Review:

This is one of the alternate origins that firmly sets the Welsh TMNT Magazine continuity apart from the Archie TMNT Adventures continuity.  A bit of a shame, as TMNT Magazine might have been a good place for some “bonus” TMNT Adventures shorts, but eh, what’s done is done.

If all the dates are accurate, this comic actually represents the first appearance of Warrior Dragon/Hothead.  This issue of TMNT Magazine came out in Fall of 1990, Archie’s TMNT Adventures #20 came out in May of 1991, and Playmates’ Hothead action figure was released in the 1992 assortment.

So when you read this story, it’s basically a blueprint for the TMNT Adventures issue (and later, the bio on the back of Hothead’s action figure).  Dean Clarrain (Steven Murphy) would later pump it up by adding Chu Hsi to the mix, giving Warrior Dragon a stronger identity.  As he appears in this story, oh so briefly, he’s basically just a genie in a bottle that says “boo” and vanishes.  His participation in the story is so minimal, it almost feels like this is Clarrain’s way of teasing the meatier tale that would appear in TMNT Adventures the following year.

Being the first appearance of Warrior Dragon, this story’s a bit more interesting than the others published in TMNT Magazine.  But the historical/niche value is really all it has going for it.  I don’t really have anything else to say other than Hothead’s quote from his toy packaging is pretty hilarious: “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll BURN YOUR FACE OFF!”

Image restoration progress

Some people have been commenting to tell me to hurry up restoring all the images that were lost, or complaining that I haven't gotten to this or that issue yet.

I'm workin' on it, okay?

But here's what I have left, if it gives you an idea of what I've still got to go through before I'm done:

Tales Vol. 1 #3

The Survival Game

Untitled Nobody Story

2007 Frontispieces and Epilogue

Tales Vol. 2 #22

Tales Vol. 2 #39

Tales Vol. 2 #53

Tales Vol. 2 #56

Tales Vol. 2 #57

Tales Vol. 2 #58

Tales Vol. 2 #59

Tales Vol. 2 #60

Tales Vol. 2 #61

Tales Vol. 2 #62

Tales Vol. 2 #63

Tales Vol. 2 #64

Tales Vol. 2 #65

Tales Vol. 2 #66

Tales Vol. 2 #67

Tales Vol. 2 #68

Tales Vol. 2 #69

Tales Vol. 2 #70

TMNT Challenges

Plastron Café #1

Old Times

Savage Dragon/TMNT Crossover #1

Bottoming Out

The Treaty

Junk Man

New York Ninja

New Comic Day

Quest For Dreams Lost #1

49th Street Stompers

Terror by Transmat!

Ghouls Night Out

Don't Judge a Book

Fun With Guns

Not One Word

Complete Carnage an' Radical

The Howl

Night Life

It's a Gas

TMNT/Savage Dragon Crossover #1

Turtle Dreams

Turtle Soup and Rabbit Stew

Muscle and Faith

Road Hogs

TMNT Smash Up

TMNT 25th A Quarter Century Celebration

Usagi Yojimbo Vol. 1 #10

TMNT Vol. 3 #1

TMNT Vol. 3 #2

TMNT Vol. 3 #3

TMNT Vol. 3 #4

TMNT Vol. 3 #5

TMNT Vol. 3 #6

TMNT Vol. 3 #7

TMNT Vol. 3 #8

TMNT Vol. 3 #9

TMNT Vol. 3 #10

TMNT Vol. 3 #11

TMNT Vol. 3 #12

TMNT Vol. 3 #13

TMNT Vol. 3 #14

TMNT Vol. 3 #15

TMNT Vol. 3 #16

TMNT Vol. 3 #17

TMNT Vol. 3 #18

TMNT Vol. 3 #19

TMNT Vol. 3 #20

TMNT Vol. 3 #21

TMNT Vol. 3 #22

TMNT Vol. 3 #23

Big Bang Comics #10

Gen 13 Vol. 2 #13B

Savage Dragon #2

Savage Dragon #22

Savage Dragon #41

Savage Dragon (Playmates)

Savage Dragon/Destroyer Duck #1

TMNT Articles index

Mirage Comics Continuity Timeline

The (mysterious) Future Era of the Mirage Universe

TMNT & Other Strangeness: An Overview of the Palladium RPG Sourcebooks

Vintage TMNT Manga index

A Christmas Carol (Mikey micro second printing)

Ghosts of Christmas Past (Tales Vol. 2 #53)

This Mortal Shell (Tales Vol. 2 #53)

 

 

I've also got other shit going on, like a car accident I've got to deal with (no one was hurt, I wasn't at fault, but it's still a hassle) as well as other things, so this is gonna take a bit longer.  Just chill.

 

 

Channeling

Originally published in: Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #28

Publication date: October, 2006

Words, pictures and letters by: Fernando Pinto

“Channeling”

Summary:

Down in the sewers, Raphael is battling a big mean robot.  And Raph is furious.  As he lays into the robot, his mind is elsewhere; he’s mad at Michelangelo.  Apparently, during a fight, Mikey was teasing him and even said that he’s “got this” and took the lead.  Raph couldn’t stand being taken down a peg by his brother and now he’s really, REALLY livid.

But it goes deeper than that.  He’s sick of Mikey’s attitude PERIOD.  He’s sick of all the jokes, the goofing around, the insult comedy… all of it.

The robot grabs Raph by the throat and puts a knife to his face, but by now Raph is SO mad at Mikey that he completely trashes the robot.  In his rage, he vows not to lend Mikey a hand next time they’re in combat and instead says he’ll stand to the side and laugh as Mikey begs for help.

Suddenly, Michelangelo shows up and asks if Raph wants to come back to playing Halo.  He says he’s sorry for making fun of Raph while they were playing; he was just kidding around.  Raph, now totally calm and composed, tells Mikey it was no big deal and they head back to the lair.

Mikey asks what the deal with the robot was and Raph just shrugs, saying he doesn’t know where their wacky adversaries come from half of the time.

Turtle Tips:

*There’s really no telling where in the TMNT timeline this story takes place; it could go just about anywhere.  Personally, I like to place it just prior to Volume 4, as the random robot attacking the Turtles for no reason sort of complements the story in Tales of the TMNT (Vol. 2) #42.  Likewise, Raph's line about having faced lots of foes and his improved ability at handling Mikey's annoyances point to it occurring further into their careers.

Review:

This vignette from Fernando Pinto is a nice character piece on the relationship between Raph and Mikey.  It sort of calls back to the opening scene of Raphael (microseries) #1, where Raph gets so mad at Mikey’s teasing during a sparring match that he nearly brains him.  It’s a reminder of how personally Raph takes Mikey’s taunting and how even though Raph is always picking on him, Mikey equally hurts his brother (if on a more emotional level).

But there’s also a fake-out going on; that the “fight” Mikey was giving Raph a hard time during was just a video game and this is Raph’s way of letting off steam (or “channeling”, if you will).  You can see how far Raph has come since the days of his micro; he no longer takes his frustrations with Michelangelo out on the Turtle, but finds other means of venting.  It’s for that reason I like to stick it further down the Mirage timeline; it shows how much Raph has grown whilst still staying more or less the same guy.

Pinto’s layouts are really good and there’s great use of perspective on all the action shots; characters are constantly moving toward or away from the reader with the proper use of foreshortening for dynamic emphasis.  What I REALLY dug was his shading; a technique we were seeing less and less of in Tales of the TMNT.  As a matter of fact, the main story it was paired with didn’t use shading or toning AT ALL and the two comics juxtapose very starkly against one another.

“Channeling” is a pretty great vignette about two Turtles who used to be a family-within-the-family when the Mirage TMNT comic first began.  That dynamic was sort of abandoned in the early stages of the brand, but stories like this act as a reminder that they’re still closer than perhaps any of the other Turtles.

Grade: B (as in, “By the way, the end gag is pretty great, too; if you were one of the Turtles, you’d have given up on caring where all the weird shit comes from a long time ago, too”.)