TMNT: Dimension X #5

Publication date: August 30, 2017

Story: Devin Grayson
Art: Craig Rousseau
Colors: Leonardo Ito
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow
Publisher: Ted Adams

Summary:

Hakk-R arrives on the planet Totus in search of the final witness, someone named Occuli.  When he sets foot on the garden-world, he is greeted by a floating flower called a Polyglot that welcomes him to the planet, which is actually a single organism.  "Occuli" is not an individual, but a bud which the planet uses as a sight organ.  Hakk-R torches the Occuli, but finds thousands more and decides to torch them all just to be safe.

Out in space, Zak and Kala find that their Hot Rod is being pursued by the Malignoid Swarm.  They tell the Turtles that they'll have to drop them off on Totus and lead the swarm away.  The Turtles arrive on Totus and are greeted by a Ployglot.  She gives them the same story, but warns that the planet is off-limits to tourists at the moment due to Hakk-R's attack.  The Turtles find Hakk-R and fight him off, but realize that since Occuli is an organ, not a person, they cannot take it back as a witness.  And since the planet is one single organism, it can't go back with them, either.  The Polyglot says that Krang had tested chemical weapons on Totus and created a biohazardous wasteland.  Leonardo suggests they go there and search for evidence to take to the trial in lieu of a witness.

When they get to the wasteland, the Polyglot tells them that the chemicals created mutants among the Totus system; organs such as Polyglots who became disconnected from the planet's hive mind.  Another Polyglot then appears and attacks Mikey with hallucinatory pollin, revealing itself to be one of those mutants and needing to hunt for food.  The Turtles escape the wasteland and the Polyglot cannot follow them, as the rest of Totus' system refuses to let the mutation go any further.

Donnie gets an idea and tells the Polyglot that since it is not long tethered to Totus, it is now a free organism and can go anywhere and do anything it wants.  Realizing this, the Polyglot takes on an individual name, Polyglot-95480 (or "Polly" for short), and accepts the offer to act as a witness against Krang.

The Turtles are picked up by the Neutrinos, who lost the Malignoids in an asteroid field, and head off.  Meanwhile, Hakk-R reports back to Krang that the witness was just a plant and cannot testify against him in court, so he has nothing to worry about.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT: Dimension X #4.  The storyline continues into TMNT (IDW) #74.

*The Malignoid swarm was mentioned offhandedly in TMNT (IDW) #73.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by Nick Pitarra, Cover By by Craig Rousseau, and Incentive Cover by Kevin Eastman and Tomi Varga.


Review:

This was a pretty weak end to an otherwise decent miniseries. They certainly didn't save the best for last.

I guess I'll say that I've never read anything by Devin Grayson that I've enjoyed.  Her run on Nightwing was a marathon of mediocrity and the only reason anyone remembers it is because of some very stupid things Grayson-herself wrote and said (which she has since apologized for).  Her Ghost Rider miniseries, "The Hammer Lane", was probably the worst Ghost Rider story I've ever read.  And man, Bad Ghost Rider Stories is a pretty competitive field.  To take the top spot in THAT challenge should tell you something.

Her chapter in Dimension X isn't heinously awful, but it falls into that well of mediocrity similar to her Nightwing stuff.  This story is so very boring to read.  And what bugs me is that with a little more finesse, it wouldn't HAVE to be so boring.  For example, we have to get the welcoming shpiel explaining how Totus and its semi-sentient plant organisms work TWICE; first when Hakk-R arrives, then when the Turtles arrive.  And the explanations aren't truncated, we have to hear the whole biology lesson in full both times.  It's wordy and repetitive and drags and drags and drags.

Then there are missed opportunities.  The fight with Hakk-R is almost comically short.  The Turtles seriously just swat him away like a nuisance in a page and a half.  At this point, we've had so many encounters with Hakk-R that I didn't mind the brevity, but the battle is utterly listless and it is the only sequence of action in the entire issue.

Or how about when Mikey gets hit with the hallucinatory pollen?  Wouldn't that have been an opportune time for the visuals to get all trippy as Mikey goes bonkers, maybe allowing artist Craig Rousseau to try something fun and engaging?  As it is, since there's so little going on in this issue, Rousseau's art is blah the whole way through.  But it's hard to blame the guy; he just wasn't given any material to work with.  Although he does seem to have been drawing with the wrong dimensions; the tops of several pages are empty and the colorist has to try and finish the image without any pencil lines.

But alright, alright, alright.  Something nice to say?  Well, Zak and Kala finally, FINALLY get something to say and do.  They have been mannequins throughout this whole mini, so it's nice to be reminded that they can think and talk.  Their subplot with the Malignoid swarm is awarded two pages total in the issue, but at least they get to do something (though Zak is missing his Beatnik lingo).  And the Malignoids, too, get an ominous introduction, though you don't get a great look at them, even in the one panel they appear in.  I'm assuming they'll come into play later down the line, perhaps during the Trial of Krang arc.

As for the Dimension X miniseries as a whole, I think it has a charm to it that I liked more than otherwise.  Bebop and Rocksteady Destroy Everything, last year's weekly miniseries event, was a very different kind of story and you cannot compare it to this year's mini event.  B&R was a crazy roadtrip jam-session sort of thing.  It was scattered and spontaneous but I liked it for those reasons, even if it was all over the place and intentionally confusing and weird.  Dimension X is an episodic anthology.  It's paced and arranged like a Saturday morning cartoon.  Every issue sets up a done-in-one story and the comedy relief villain (Hakk-R) is sent retreating at the end as the Turtles save the day.  Every issue even tries to hammer home a saccharine lesson to the reader (this issue is about family).

It is very formulaic and predictable, but it still led to more hits than duds, I think.  We got some cool characters, we got some cool art and the universe was expanded so much more.  I suppose my ultimate grievance was with Hakk-R.  He was introduced in the main series as this humongously powerful adversary that tossed the Turtles around like they were nothing.  Throughout this miniseries, he's gotten his ass handed to him in increasingly embarrassing ways, diluting the threat he once posed.  I wonder how he will be portrayed when we see him again in the ongoing series?  Will he be back to "untouchable badass" mode, as if this miniseries and his many defeats never happened, or will the ongoing remember that he kinda sucks now?  I guess we'll find out in a few weeks.

Turtles of Terror

Originally published in: TMHT Adventures #27
Publication date: January 26 - February 8, 1991

Story: David Robinson
Art: Sandy James

"Turtles of Terror"

Summary:

In the Technodrome, the Shredder unveils his latest scheme to Krang.  Using the transdimensional portal, he has discovered an alternate universe where the Hero Turtles are known as the Evil Turtles.  Using the portal, Shredder brings the Evil Turtles to the Technodrome and orders them to do his bidding, otherwise he'll never send them back to their universe.  His orders are simple: They are to infiltrate the lair of the Hero Turtles, take them down one-by-one and then bring them to the Technodrome.

In the lair, the Hero Turtles and Splinter leave for an evening of pizza-scarfing, but Raphael must stay behind and practice his meditation techniques (as punishment for falling asleep during practice earlier).  Shortly, Evil Donatello and Evil Leonardo enter the lair and tell Raph that they want him to come with them for pizza.  Raph sneaks out with them, but is ambushed by the rest of the Evil Turtles.  They take him to an abandoned warehouse and chain him up.

Evil Raph then takes the real Raph's place and returns to the lair.  The Hero Turtles and Splinter return, but Donnie remembers he needs to give April an update on their latest adventures for her news report.  Evil Raph offers to go with him and as soon as they're out of the lair, the other Evil Turtles ambush Donnie and take him back to the warehouse.

Evil Raph and Evil Donnie return to the lair and wait until morning to draw the rest of the Hero Turtles out.  After breakfast, they suggest a jog and bring Mikey and Leo along.  Once they hit the streets, they're ambushed and taken back to the warehouse.  With all four Hero Turtles chained up, the Evil Turtles decide they can take Splinter by force and leave.  The Turtles are helpless until a pair of bums unwittingly enter the warehouse, looking for a place to sleep.  They gladly unchain the Hero Turtles, who rush to save Splinter.

The Hero Turtles arrive at the lair just in time and attack the Evil Turtles.  They overpower them and save Splinter, but before they can take the Evil Turtles to the authorities, Shredder teleports the failures back to their alternate universe.  The Hero Turtles are relieved the adventure is over, but realize that the only reason they were able to succeed was because they were helped by a pair of homeless.  To repay them, the Turtles put on a charity martial arts exhibition at the local homeless shelter to raise money.


Turtle Tips:

*This story was published alongside "Pied Piper".


Review:

We've gotten a lot of "evil Turtle" stories over the decades and I wouldn't rank this among the best of them, but it's certainly way more ambitious than most of the comics Fleetway published.  It doesn't rely exclusively on a single dumb gag and it isn't full of ridiculous nonsense (though I'll admit that the ridiculous nonsense is why I like these comics).  It's actually a fairly straight-forward action story, which is unusual for the Fleetway book.

There isn't much intrigue to the plot, which is a consequence of that "straight-forward" thing I was talking about.  Splinter and the Hero Turtles begin to see tells in Evil Donatello when he infiltrates the lair (Evil Don can't fix a broken TV and he's left-handed), but their suspicions never advance to anything that impacts the narrative.  Splinter and the Hero Turtles might as well have been oblivious to the rogues in their house, all the good their suspicions did them.

The deus ex hobo resolution is a bit of good and bad.  The homeless guys coming out of nowhere to help the Turtles and ultimately save the day was a surprise, but one that made sense to the location (it's an abandoned warehouse in New York City, of course bums would want to sleep there).  But then their inclusion sends the story spiraling into a Public Service Announcement in the final pages, which was the bad kind of surprise.

I suppose that my favorite thing about this issue was the tiny tank-tread thing that Krang rides around in:

It's so fucking weird.  I mean, Sandy James could have drawn him in his robot body, or his bubble walker, or even that weird little tripod he sat on in the first season of the cartoon.  But no, he drew him with a tank platform.  It's the little things I appreciate the most.

Pied Piper

Originally published in: TMHT Adventures #27
Publication date: January 26 - February 8, 1991

Story: Scott Goodall
Art: Mick Austin

"Pied Piper"

Summary:

At the popular pizzeria Piccolino's Palace, head chef Pietro Pauncho Piccolino is working his cooks through the pre-dawn hours, making pizzas for his restaurant's 50th anniversary celebration.  The cooks are complaining about lack of sleep when the Shredder and his Foot Soldiers burst in.  The Shredder offers to help them get some sleep by beating the shit out of everyone.  He then reports back to Krang that stage one of their plan is complete.

Later that morning, down in the lair, the Turtles catch April's news broadcast reporting on Piccolino's anniversary... and the FREE pizzas he'll be giving away to celebrate.  The Turtles put on their trench coats and head to the restaurant for their free pies, where several Foot Soldiers in chef costumes hook them up.  The Turtles return to the lair and scarf down the piles of pizza, only to quickly fall asleep as the food had been drugged.

Finding his pupils unconscious, Splinter investigates, but is immediately hypnotized by strange music.  He wanders out of the lair and through the sewers along with all the others rats who hear the song.  Spying, Bebop and Rocksteady report back to Krang that stage two is a success.  Evidently, Krang's master plan involved dressing the Shredder up as the Pied Piper of Hamlin and having him play a flute with a special frequency that entrances rats... Splinter included!  With the Turtles unconscious thanks to the drugged pizzas, there's nothing stopping the Shredder from leading Splinter to the incomplete Westside Bay Bridge and sending him plummeting off of it.

Residents of the city notice the rats all congregating at the bridge and call in to the news networks.  Burne gets wind of this and assigns April to investigate at the bridge.  As soon as she gets there, she recognizes the Shredder and sees Splinter under his control.  April races to the lair and uses a flood of water to wake the Turtles.  Once they're caught up, the Turtles mobilize.

The Turtles arrive at the bridge, where the Shredder has gone airborne in a helicopter, hovering over the bay.  Splinter and the rats continue moving toward the source of the music, drawing closer to the end of the bridge.  Knowing they can't stop Splinter, the Turtles form a human pyramid and get high enough to reach the helicopter.  Donatello snatches the flute from Shredder, ending the music and snapping Splinter back to his senses.

Down in the lair, the Turtles sullenly burn the pizzas they bought, knowing that they're all drugged.  April cheers them up by promising to buy them all dinner at Piccolino's.


Turtle Tips:

*This story was published alongside "Turtles of Terror".


Review:

Shredder had to deal with a lot of indignities during the Fred Wolf and Archie era.  There was that time he got transformed into a baby, that time he got mutated into a fly, that time Krang fired him like he was a secretary that made too many typos... But this seems like one of his worst moments.

Krang's scheme isn't without merit.  In fact, it's actually pretty brutal.  The mission is strictly to kill Splinter.  No taking over the world or even defeating the Turtles.  They just flat out want to kill Splinter.  It comes pretty close to working, too, and that's fine.

But what I don't get?  Why did Shredder have to wear the Pied Piper costume.  How did the costume affect the scheme?  He could've just played the flute while wearing his usual outfit; that silly getup didn't enhance anything.  You know what?  I bet Krang was just fucking with him.

"Do I HAVE to wear this?"
"Uh... yeah!  The flute won't work unless you're wearing a tunic and pixie boots!  Now put it on!"

What's really funny is how disguises both work and don't work throughout this issue, depending on convenience.  When the Turtles show up at the pizzeria in their trenchcoats and fedoras, the Shredder snickers that he can see through their disguises.  He then puts chef hats on his Foot Soldiers and has them deliver the pizzas to the Turtles, who don't recognize the Foot Soldiers at all.  And later, when April glimpses the "Pied Piper", she immediately recognizes him as the Shredder.  Has April ever actually seen the Shredder without his mask on?

This whole story is just ridiculous, but man, I kinda love it.  And you know what else I love?  The violence.  We like to laugh at UK Hero Turtles stuff, where they couldn't use the word "ninja" because "it's too violent" and Michelangelo couldn't have his nunchakus because "they're too violent".  But I swear, these UK comics are WAY more violent than the American ones even with those handicaps.  Just LOOK at these blows:

The Shredder and the Foot Soldiers are absolutely fuckin' WRECKING those poor saps.

And as one final note, it's weird that this comic didn't feature the Rat King.  Like, this was his whole shtick in the Fred Wolf cartoon and Shredder straight up swipes it in this issue.  Rat King had better call his lawyers.

TMNT: Dimension X #4

Publication date: August 23, 2017

Story: Ryan Ferrier
Art: Chris Johnson
Colors: Mark Englert
Letters: Shawn Lee
Editor: Bobby Curnow
Publisher: Ted Adams

Summary:

The Turtles arrive on Palmadise, a world of gambling, drinking, crime and debauchery, in search of the next witness: Ace.  The alien duck is wanted by more than just the Turtles, as a crime boss named Papa Chum has put a bounty out on him for stealing and destroying a weapons cache of his.  As the Turtles search for Ace, Michelangelo buys a lotto ticket.

Meanwhile, Ace is on the run from a bounty hunter named Thurk.  Thurk corners him and is about to pull the trigger when the Turtles show up and take her down.  Thinking them to be incompetent rival bounty hunters, Ace spreads his wings and tries to fly away.  The Turtles manage to reel him back in by calling out that they need his help to stop Krang.

Ace takes the Turtles back to his hideout and tells his story.  As it turns out, Ace was once allied with the Neutrinos and flew in their air force on missions against Krang.  Unfortunately, he and the rest of Infantry X-5 were shot down and forced to surrender.  Krang executed all of X-5 while they were unarmed and only Ace made it out alive (by abandoning his comrades in the chaos).  Ace agrees to go with the Turtles to testify against Krang and find justice for his comrades.

They head to a subway, but as soon as the train starts, they're attacked by Hakk-R.  Ace flies the coop, leaving the Turtles behind, but they're inadvertently saved by a pair of bounty hunters who try to stop Hakk-R from collecting their reward.  The Turtles eventually catch up with Ace on the surface, realizing that he's just as cowardly now as he was in the past.  Suddenly, it is announced that Mikey won the Palmadise lottery with the ticket he bought earlier, and in all the commotion, Ace steals the Hot Rod and flies away.

Hakk-R then catches up and attacks the Turtles (causing Mikey to lose his winnings), but before he can take them down, Ace returns.  He shoots Hakk-R down with the Hot Rod's weapons and then collects the Turtles so they can escape.  In the safety of outer space, Raphael has a few choice words for Ace, but Mikey holds him back.  Leonardo tells him that there are no hard feelings, as Ace eventually made the right choice to not only come back for them, but to stand up against Krang.


Turtle Tips:

*This story is continued from TMNT: Dimension X #3.  The miniseries concludes in TMNT: Dimension X #5.

*The planet Palmadise originates from Mighty Mutanimals #9, where it was revealed to be the homeworld of that universe's Slash.

*This issue was originally published with 3 variant covers: Cover A by Nick Pitarra and Chris Chuckry, Cover B by Chris Johnson and Mark Englert, and Incentive Cover by Kevin Eastman and Tomi Varga.


Review:

If you read my review from last week, then you know that I was genuinely concerned that Ace Duck wasn't going to be in this miniseries; that his cover appearance was just an Easter egg.  As you can imagine, I am beyond relieved and also elated.  But why?  WHY do I think Ace Duck is so cool?  He's ACE DUCK, for crying out loud.

You know what?  There's no better time to do this, so let's take a historical look back at Ace Duck and his many escapades.

This is going to be short.

Ace Duck originated as a concept by Peter Laird, pitched to Playmates in 1988.  It was a duck named "Duck" that was also a pilot.

Designer Errol McCarthy then reworked that idea of a pilot duck, but ditched the high altitude flight suit in favor of a bomber jacket and, apparently, a crippling nicotine addiction.

This is the version of Ace that Playmates ultimately went with (minus the cig), and in 1989, we got his well-remembered action figure:

His profile on the back of the card described him as being a pilot hired by the Turtles to fly the Turtle Blimp.  For purposes of media-product synergy, Ace made two more appearances in 1989.  Counter to media-product synergy, neither depicted him the way he was described by his toy packaging.

He made a 2-second cameo in the Fred Wolf cartoon, in the episode "Attack of the Big MACC", where he was depicted as a fictional TV show character and not "real".

But at least that version LOOKED like his toy.  Ace would proceed to make his most substantial fictional appearance in Archie's TMNT comic, beginning in TMNT Adventures #7.  In those stories, he was depicted as a grotesquely muscular alien pro wrestler.

Ace Duck by A.C. Farley.

Ace Duck by Chris Allan.

Ace Duck by Jim Lawson.

And then it was jack shit after that for, like, 20 years.  He finally made his grand comeback in the 2012 Nickelodeon TMNT cartoon as a brief gag in the episode "The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman" as a proposed new mutant henchman.  Shredder was so outraged by this proposition that he mutated Baxter into a hideous fly-man on the spot.

And now you know the complete history of Ace Duck.  But you still don't know why I think he's so cool.

Because I had the toy when I was 5.  There.  Mystery solved.

Okay, to elaborate, since a lot of characters who got action figures in the old TMNT toyline never made any media appearances, it was up to US, the wee childrens, to use our imaginations to craft histories and personalities for these bizarre lumps of plastic.  It's why you will find people out there with off-puttingly strong attachments to the most insignificant of characters.  You ever met someone who likes Doctor El just a little too much?  It's probably because they only had two Ninja Turtles toys as a kid and that was one of them.

The toy characters were pretty much blank slates for our imaginations, and even with the bio on the back of the box, the work was up to us.  Our only REAL pointers were the design of the toy and the accessories that came with it.  We had a sneering duck in a leather jacket with a handgun and a bandoleer of grenades whom the Turtles had to pay to hang out with them.  The default personality projected onto Ace Duck was "this guy's pretty cool."

And low and behold, now we've got IDW Ace Duck.  And he's pretty cool.

Ferrier gives Ace the personality I always thought he had as an elementary schooler but was never substantiated in any media appearance.  This issue was strangely gratifying on that account.  I was right all along!  But there's also a selfish yellow streak to the character, giving him a roguish quality that makes him more than just the Fonz with a bill.  It leads to a bit of predictable storytelling (Ace cutting out during the climax only to man up, return, and save the day), but Ferrier peps the script up with some fun running gags, like Mikey getting into gambling.

In fact, there's sort of been an ongoing shtick throughout this miniseries between Raph and Mikey.  Mikey has been on something of a stimulation overload visiting all these alien planets and getting caught up in all the antics (be it wrestling or gambling).  Raph has been a sort of wet blanket throughout Dimension X, harrumphing through every encounter, and in this story he wants to give up on Ace as soon as he tries to fly off.  He is 110% DONE with this adventure and just wants to go home.

Leo and Don are also present, as they most frequently are in these matters.  They will certainly receive a Good Attendance Award at the end of the school year, yessir.

Johnson's art is very detailed and Palmadise looks crowded and bustling throughout the issue.  He rarely phones in the crowd shots and you can spend some extra time on each panel, singling out all the weird aliens.  While they are a bit generic (couldn't find any Easter eggs among them), it's still an appreciated effort on his part and he does make Palmadise look vibrant and alive.

Englert's colors have a nice glow effect that fits the neon "Vegas strip" setting.  My only grievance, and it might just be on my copy, is that Raph's bandana looks more purple than red throughout the issue.  It's likely a natural effect of the mainly blue "lighting" combining with the red bandana to make it look purple, but I think Englert would have been best to fudge reality a bit and kept it red so as not to give us two Turtles with purple bandanas.

While I still think issue #3 is the issue to beat, this one was right up my alley.  Your enjoyment will depend entirely on if you give a shit about Ace Duck or not, but I think even if you don't you'll find some fun.  Hakk-R is really turning into a stooge at this point in the mini and I'm curious how he will be treated when the ongoing series resumes with the Trial of Krang arc.  Will he be built back up to nigh-unbeatable or will his decay in ability be remembered?  I guess we'll have to wait and see.